If you asked her, she couldn't remember when she'd truly fallen. She'd always been a flirt and flirting with The Doctor was such a natural thing that she failed to notice when her flirting had taken an underlying tone of feelings she'd never experienced in that way.
She'd say that it all started with one word, 'run'. With that one measly word, she was already on her way down, falling through space and along the way, falling in love. She never really contemplated when it happened but she could go on and on about how.
It was in the touch of his hand and the smile he'd reserved for her. It was in the way they'd bickered and joked. After all the danger they'd walked into, there was a moment where they were breathlessly happy to be alive and when she had looked him, she'd not so much cared about the age and death that lingered in his features, but the life.
She'd liked his big ears and gray-blue eyes, but it wasn't so much the way he looked that made her fall, but his essence and way she felt after nearly dying when he'd smile and suddenly she was laughing. She'd laugh even when she was out of breath and hunched over, her hands propped on her knees.
She only wished that she could remember the one kiss they'd shared before he'd changed
And what a change it was.
From the leather jacket and the close cute hair to pinstripes and the mop of unruly brown hair, she couldn't marry the image of The Doctor she'd had with the entirely new man in front of her. He was all smiles and energy like a 5 year old.
Her heart had broken seeing him change and the denial colored her vision for longer than she'd like to admit. It was only after their little Christmas adventure that she'd truly given him the chance he'd deserved.
And off they'd gone, on yet another adventure among the stars, bending time to their will. Rose would guess that she'd fallen love again somewhere between fighting a werewolf from outer space and meeting Sarah Jane.
When the escapade with Reinette was over, Rose was sure that her heart had broken countless times in a matter of hours. Mickey's comfort had done nothing to soothe the pain when she'd thought he'd left her for some 17th century mistress. And when he'd came back, she'd wanted to punch him and scream at him but she'd hugged him instead, asked him where he'd been and was disregarded. Once again she'd heard a piece of her heart crack watching him walk away.
Falling in love with The Doctor had been all too easy. It was as easy as breathing to Rose. And when she'd been forcibly ripped away from him at Canary Wharf, it was like she'd ran out of air.
Her singular heart laid in his hands as she'd cried, a universe away, and in his palms it broke again.
Throughout her time on alternate Earth, she'd swear that she could hear his manic laughter whenever she went on a walk, and had probably chased the sound half a dozen times in hopes that he'd found a way.
And when she really did hear his voice again, it was only to say goodbye. Her heart was coming alive and dying over and over again all at the same time as she told him how she felt.
When he disappeared without saying it back, she'd wished she'd never fell.
Sometimes, she imagined that he had said it. She imagined that he'd said it and then maybe she could move on. But it never sounded right in her mind. It never sounded quite like him. It was never real.
After that, she'd gotten to work on the Dimension Canon. The stars had flickered out like a dying candle flame and as much as she'd wanted to return to be with him, she knew that her heart had to wait, for something bigger was on the rise.
She was different. Her heart that still belonged to him was bruised and bloody, possibly beyond repair. She'd crossed dimensions to find him and her hesitation to hurt had been smothered by her need to see his face again, even if for the last time.
She'd gone on the mission to save the stars knowing the risks. After travelling with The Doctor, the risks had stopped bothering her altogether.
But when she saw him, really saw him, she'd felt just a tiny shard of her heart mend itself back together.
Later, with the world saved and the universes intact, she'd assumed she'd join him again. She hadn't expected what came next though.
Falling in love with The Doctor for a third time was not quite so smooth as the first or second. She and the meta-crisis danced around her each other after the heated kiss on the beach.
He was The Doctor, and not, all at once. The way he smiled at her and how his hand fit just right in hers was the same it'd always been. The way her name rolled off his lips like his favorite song wasn't lost to her and neither was the way he tended to hug her less and less; as if afraid she'd toss him out.
Somehow though, everything came together. There'd been fighting and screaming and plenty of tears. She'd said things she didn't mean and he'd lost his temper after so long of playing second best to himself.
It was when he'd screamed about every time he'd wanted to tell her he loved her and when she'd been left stuttering that she finally pieced together that he was the same, even if he wasn't. He'd listed off moment after moment in which he'd wanted to wrap her up in a hug and tell her. He'd wanted to tell her after running for their lives and after especially fun outings to eccentric planets and he'd wanted to tell her on the beach the first time, but he just hadn't had enough time.
It was then that she threw away all her doubts and let him wrap her heart in countless bandages as once more, it took a nose dive down. And she never stopped falling.
