That Word
I'm afraid to ***.
The word is painful.
It's SCARY.
It hurts.
Beyond anything imaginable.
I choke on it.
It gets stuck in my throat and strangles my heart.
To say the word is to die.
I'm sorry.
You have said it to me multiple times.
I can't repeat them.
Lest they ravage my soul and raze the pebble that is my heart.
Know this.
You know parts of me no living creature knows.
I have told you things that I can't bear to tell myself.
You are my closest confidante.
You are the only one I can turn to.
You are the only one I trust.
This is enough for now, is it not?
Baby steps, my ***, baby steps.
Soon.
Soon I will be able to repeat the words to you.
Soon I will be ready.
This I promise you.
