Beast War

To Red Witch: Here's a new story for you starring our favorite groups of mutants. Enjoy!

To Aaron: Here's a new story for you starring the Misfits! I hope to include both East and West Coast Teams on this one! Glad you liked seeing Kyle whoop the Hellions.

To Wizard1: I'm glad you like my stories! I hope to have more madness for you in 2004! Here ya go!

To Sparky Genocide: Here's some insanity for you!

Chapter 1: Announcement of Team-Up!

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(Mindbender's Lab, Cobra HQ)

"YES!!!!" Dr. Mindbender whooped as he ran to a stereo in his lab. He pressed PLAY and it played House of Pain's "Jump Around". As the song played, the mad scientist jumped around a bunch of holding tanks. Destro walked in and his masked face twisted in disgust at Mindbender's attempt at dancing.

"That is sick." Destro growled at Mindbender. "Just plain sick." He turned off the music, but Mindbender still danced. "HEY MINDBUNGLER!!!"

"Hey who turned off my music and who called me that?" Mindbender looked around. He turned around to notice Destro. "What? Don't you ever celebrate?"

"What is this? Your latest attempt at splicing pig and elephant DNA?" Destro quipped, pointing at the tanks.

"No. That's impossible. Haven't you heard the old Loverboy song?" Mindbender started singing: "Oh, pig and elephant DNA just won't splice..."

"There's no such song! I own all of Loverboy's records and they never recorded such a song!" Destro snapped. He shook his head. "Never mind. What are you really doing with those tanks?"

"Well, the Misfits have been thorns in our sides for quite some time. And those new West Coast Misfits will no doubt be a thorn in Cobra's side as well." Mindbender started.

"No duh." Destro rolled his eyes.

"Well, I figured, what better to stop the Misfits and the West Coast Misfits than stronger versions of themselves?" Mindbender grinned. "During their New Year's party, I managed to obtain samples of the kids' DNA, and I managed to obtain samples of the West Coast kids' DNA at Malibu Base." Mindbender motioned to the tanks.

"Didn't we try a clone before? I know we tried this before." Destro groaned.

"I made a few modifications. I combined the DNA of the kids with animals to create new warriors capable of destroying those kids and the Joes."

"This isn't gonna work." Destro groaned. "And how are those mindless monsters supposed to help Cobra Commander?"

"To provide him with some muscle." Mindbender replied.

"He's got the Dreadnoks." Destro groaned.

"Loyal muscle."

"Oh." Destro nodded. "Whatever." He walked away, muttering about rewarding someone for taking Mindbender out back and shooting him.

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(The Pit)

The Misfits gathered in the Pit meeting room. However, they acted like they normally did.

"Wanda, quit slapping Pietro! Xi, you are not a horse! Lance, Craig, quit throwing paper airplanes at each other! Althea, Todd, don't do that here! Blob, don't get crumbs everywhere! Paul, take off those headphones! John, don't set fire to that! Lila, quit writing those letters to Sam! You nearly gave him a heart attack with the last one! Jake, put that videogame down!" Hawk grumbled. He pulled out his pistol and fired at the ceiling. At the sound of the bang, the kids stopped and looked at Hawk. A piece of ceiling plaster fell on his head. "Ow!" The kids snickered.

"Ooh, smooth Hawk. Are you always this charming?" Lila snickered.

"Oh stop." Hawk grumbled. "Okay, kids. Here's your new mission." Hawk activated a screen, showing a building.

"Do we get to set it on fire?" John grinned.

"No, John. You don't get to set it on fire." Hawk sighed. Pyro pouted.

"Aw, nutbunnies!" John pouted.

"Personally, I'd like to be a bodyguard at a Guthrie family reunion..." Lila started drooling. "Sammyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..."

"Ooh-kay." Lance shook his head. "Lila, you have Sam on the brain, you know that?"

"Sammyyyyyyyyy..." Lila drooled. The other Misfits shook their heads.

"Right. Anyway, there's a big anti-terrorism conference going on here in this building, the Mile High Convention Center in Denver, Colorado. We've been asked to provide security."

"The West Coast guys are closer. Why don't they take care of it?" Craig wondered.

"Actually, we think Cobra may be planning something big. So you guys will be working with the West Coast team." Hawk replied.

"Hey Dudes!" Ace walked into the room, alongside his West Coast teammates. When Lila and Alison laid eyes on each other, they yelled in shock.

"Alison? The goofy disco diva? Is that you?" Lila wondered.

"Lila? The insane rocker? Is that you?" Ali wondered.

"It IS you!" The two girls hugged.

"You two know each other?" Kyle raised an eyebrow.

"Dazzy here sang backup for me for a while." Lila explained.

"Lila teased me mercilessly because I prefer ABBA to AC/DC." Ali groaned.

"Ah, ABBA's a bunch of fluffmongers!" Lila teased. "They can't play any real music worth a lick. They ain't worthy of kissing my big black boots!"

"Speaking of boots, what happened to Guido?" Wanda asked.

"Oh, he went up and joined the military on me." Lila pouted playfully. "He got inspired and wants to be a Joe."

"Well, we're no strangers to mutant Joes." Hawk groaned. "Between Low Light, and Bulldog and Lionheart." He heard a familiar scream.

"SAVE ME!!! SOMEONE GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Barbecue's scream rang out.

"Ace, you didn't bring any new racy letters, did you?" Theresa groaned.

"Well..." Ace nervously scratched the back of his head. "Uhm, I did have one from Catseye that I let Airtight read."

"OH MY GOD!!!" Airtight's voice rang out.

"And there was that one from Tarot that Beach Head confiscated." Ace gulped.

"HOLY TOLEDO!!! YOU CAN DO THAT WITH A DECK OF CARDS?!?!"

"Ace, you really need to tell them to stop sending those letters." Toshi grumbled.

"Hey Ace, thanks for the letters!" Pyro grinned. "I'm almost done with my book thanks to you! I'll give 'em back to you when I'm done."

"No prob, John." Ace waved.

"So we have to join forces and prevent any disasters." Althea said. "Sounds easy."

"And if things don't work out, we can create a disaster." Jake shrugged. He had gotten used to the insanity around him.

Well, the East and West Coast Missfits are teaming up to do some guarding work! What disasters will happen? What animals did Mindbender combine with the Misfit DNA? What is Cobra up to? Will the Misfits be able to stop it? Find out in the next exciting chapter!