(Okay so this is my first fan fiction to actually kind of post on here, go ahead and critic guys. I'm not sure if this story was done yet before, but if it has please tell me and I will take it down only if you offer proof to where its at. I got this lovely idea from a person on Tumblr, who wished to see a fan fiction of this. I hope I made your wishes come true. I have grammar issues I know so don't go all grammar Nazi on me but yes please tell me my errors. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy it. This includes some Thiefshipping and Deathshipping references, swearing, and perverted jokes and well some harsh words. I don't own these characters at all either. Oh yes please feel free to add in some suggestions if you like it I may make more, I need things to do this summer).

Bakura and Marik Work At...Subway?! (with a few tagalongs)

It was a peaceful afternoon, the birds were chirping, the sky was not falling, and it was rush hour. Oh did I say peaceful afternoon? I meant to say, a hellish afternoon. Will there be a lunch break in my future today? Bloody hell no! The only thing keeping my insanity intact among these stupid, impudent mortals is my hikari Ryou. And thats not saying much, considering the fact I'm only allowed to kill these assholes on the days I don't work, otherwise I'll get sprayed by a spray bottle named Steve. Yes...Ryou has a spray bottle...I don't know where he hides it but he has one and whats even worse is that he allowed Marik to name it, of all people.

Okay so to the story plot shall we? So to make things simpler, I'm not working at Burger King, or McDonalds, I'm working at Subway. Which bloody sucks even more sense no one can really die of a heart attack at Subway and I didn't even choose this job, it was thrown together by Ryou himself. Not only that but I get to work right next to said blondie that's currently discussing hair products to one of our customers.
"No no no, you can't use L'Oreal, because I am friggin worth it but you sir are not worth it!" Marik said with his overly whiny nasally voice.

"But I'm a girl-," the customer replied.

"I said you are not friggin worth it and heres your crappy food next!?" Marik screamed and broke another customers glass, filled with some sugary drink that I'm surprised Subway even has. What can I say we are hypocrites to.

"Hey dude are you listening, I said I wanted a footlong-," another random customer bloody replied.

"You only wish you had a footlong," Marik's yami snapped at the customer.

"Not like you have one either porcupine," I replied as I walked past trying to help another customer, yes I know me helping? What a laugh.

"Hey its bigger then yours," Melvin replied to my comment.

"Thats not what she said," I replied while indicating at Ryou not so subtly.

"Its true his is bigger then yours Mel!" Marik practically yelled even though he was 3 ft from the both of us.

"At least I don't finish early" Melvin screamed out to the entire restaurant. Now you really know he is Marik's yami.
So what did I do, did I walk away? No that requires kindness, I instead threw the knife that I had in my hand at the moment at him, sadly stabbing a customer in the arm. Oh well I was going to get him to one way or another, bloody cheapskape paying one dollar below his actually price. I mean honestly its stressful enough being surrounded by morons 24\7 and even that to me is working hard for my money so you either pay the full price or you get a free stab in the arm, or the eye socket whatever works for you.

Sadly a voice broke into my thoughts, no I'm not crazy its just the greatest thing to hit Subway ever, just so you know that was sarcasm. We not only need to try to take customer orders from the counter but we also have to multi-task to take orders in the mortals cars. Honestly it wouldn't kill you to walk a couple feet to the damn restaurant doors will it?

"Yes what the bloody hell do you want," I said turning my attention to a very, "big boned" fellow.

"I want two footlongs, one steak and cheese and the other a big philly cheesesteak", the big fellow replied.

"Would you like to super size your heart attack while we're at it?," "Honestly I think maybe you should have the veggie delight and well that is a lot of cheese," I replied in my most sweetest innocent voice I could possibly talk in, which is not at all.

"Oh that reminds me I would like a 6 inch Subway Melt while your at it, and a large drink," He replied uneffected.

"I meant that as a joke, I really don't want to have to deal with a second fatality today, I'm already on probation, and Melvin's basically taken out the one I stabbed in the arm a moment ago," I tried to explain to him a slow voice used to talk to stupid people. Like I said, stupid ass mortals. I waved him on to Marik who's just sitting there filing his nails and flipping his hair.

"Alright who else wants to die of food poisoning, chop chop I don't have all day," I casually said.

A promising woman walks up to the counter, and you know those customers that take a really long ass time to decide because they didn't decide before they got in line, well this was happening for the four hundreth bloody time that day.

"What do you recommend?" the women asked showing off her nice rotted teeth to me.
What can I say? I've never eaten here, knowing that most of the time Marik cooks and handles most of the damn subs and also because I like to piss off the rest of the workers by going to Burger King and eating. Trust me its fun, you have to try it. So being the nice, honest, sadistic person I am I offered my opinion.

"I think you should eat somewhere else because there is a big ass line behind you made up of mostly fat people, and trust me they get really hungry really fast and I don't want to be their next meal," I stated giving the bird to whoever glared at me because of my comment.

"But I want to eat here though," the women replied stupid as can be.

"Then please tell me what the bloody fuck you want to eat so I can move on with the rest of my life!" I practically shouted at her.

"How can a fuck be bloody, are you British mister?" a child popped up behind said women.

"No I'm fucking Scandinavian, yes I'm British, do you know what the hell you want because your slut of a mum has no fucking clue," I replied heatedly while listening to Marik chattering on the phone and not paying any fucking attention to the orders.

"Oh my frig I know, how the hell could he do that to you girlfriend, oh your a guy? Are you asking me out? You sound like Bakura. Oh sorry I'm not gay. Well your as gay as a circle. Okay bye!", Marik said all in one breath.

I stared at him with my mouth opened, only because that's the shortest time he ever talked to someone before, and quite frankly I was jealous it wasn't me.

"Okay I'm done!" I said while throwing my hands up in the air. "If you need me Marik I will be at home, and I expect you will be there right after work to fuck me into the couch, mattress, whatever even the bloody floor, at least then I don't have to work in this dump ever again."

"That sounds like a great plan Kura, lets go Ryou!" Melvin exclaimed like an excited child and practically almost takes Ryou's arm off by dragging him out the door.

"Ewwww you guys smell like yoorine I'm gonna go be a bad boy and play like Bloodlines...or something...so yeah...Fluffy wait up and I told you I'm not gay!" Marik called running after Bakura and complaining that his mascara was going to run due to this heat. See what I have to deal with? I got banned from McDonalds and Melvin's going to cook tonight, and I won't get laid while Ryou gets to...forcefully but hey he still gets laid. So the moral of this story is, if you see me working at a fast food restaurant, unless you'd like to be stabbed in the arm or burned alive, I suggest you run out of there as fast as you bloody can.

(Note: Did you notice Ryou didn't talk at all in this one? Lol maybe next time little creampuff.)