A/N: This is a pre-Camp Rock story and it's a bit AU as well. It's about how Nate blames himself for Shane's bad behavior and is based off of the song 'How to Save a Life' by The Fray.


Nate watched as yet another music video was interrupted.

"I don't need this! I'm Shane Gray for crying out loud!" Shane knocked the microphone stand over and stormed out of the room.

Nate looked over to the production manager who was now arguing with the director. The director pointed to where Shane had left and said something to the production manager. From where he was, Nate couldn't hear what he said, but he didn't look pleased. The director ran his fingers through his hair and stalked off angrily towards another door.

Nate took a glance at Jason and saw that he was staring off to where Shane had disappeared to. His older band mate had an unreadable expression to his face.

The production manager walked up to them with a sigh, "Sorry guys, we're done here for today."

Nate took off his guitar and placed it in a holder. He saw Jason do the same but go for his case instead.

"Jason?" He called softly and Jason looked at him. "I'll be right back."

Jason nodded and continued to put away his guitar. Nate hopped off the mini-stage and jogged out of the door. He continued down the hall until he saw the back of Shane's head. "Shane!"

Shane slowed his pace down slightly and Nate caught up to him. "Shane, we need to talk."

Shane scoffed and picked up his pace again. Nate reached out and grabbed his shoulder turning him around earning a glare from the lead singer. "Seriously, dude. Sit down."

Shane continued to glare at him but took a seat on a near by chair. Shane looked up at him expectantly, "Well?"

"Shane what's going on?"

"I don't know what you mean." Shane replied innocently.

Nate gave him a look, "I think you know exactly what I mean."

"No I don't." Shane shrugged giving him an obviously fake smile.

Nate let out a breath and knew he had to remain calm. Shane was not one to get into a yelling argument with.

"Shane, I want to help you."

"There's nothing to help." Shane responded.

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

"Do you not see yourself?" Nate questioned and Shane averted his gaze with an annoyed expression. "You don't, do you? You only see what you want to see."

"I don't see how any of this is your business." Shane snapped.

"Shane…"

"It's not your business, Nate!" He stood up and Nate looked down at the floor. How did Shane become like this? What happened to the friendly, funny, guy he knew two and half years ago? Was it something he did? Did he partake in creating the new Shane Gray? And was he always going to be like this? Would Shane ever go back to normal? Nate feared that he wouldn't.

"So just leave me alone!" Shane pushed passed him, nudging him with his shoulder and headed down the hall. As Nate looked after him wondering, why did he even bother?

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Shane threw himself down on the couch of the tour bus with Nate and Jason quickly following after him. Shane crossed his arms over his chest as Nate stood in front of him.

"Shane, you can't keep doing this!" Nate told him. Shane had yet another brawl out in the recording studio. Apparently the music director didn't like the way he was doing things and Shane took that too personally and started a physical fight. It took Nate, Jason and their body guard to get Shane off of the man and the music director, after brushing himself off, kicked them out of the studio.

Shane only rolled his eyes and huphed.

"You're not as special as you think you are." Nate said. "Believe me I know."

"What do you know about anything?" Shane muttered. "You're fifteen years old."

"That may be true but I do know that what you're doing isn't right."

"And what is right Almighty Nate?!" Shane replied sarcastically holding his hands out mockingly.

Nate sighed, "I just want what's best for you, Shane."

"And what's best for me is you leaving me alone."

Nate shook his head, "That's not true."

Shane laughed harshly, "Oh and what are you a mind reader now? What makes you think that you know everything?"

"I don't know everything." Nate responded. "And I'm not pretending that I do. But I do know what is best for you."

Shane sat back and stared up at Nate bemused, "And what is that?"

"You need a friend Shane. You need me and you need Jason. I don't know what happened to you but I want to get my friend back. Please Shane."

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence

For a moment it seemed like Shane was really thinking about what Nate had said. He got a very serious, solemn look on his face as he stared at the floor.

Nate stared intently at his band mate and continued to speak, "Shane, you've done a lot of things wrong. You've picked fights, both verbal and physical, with every musical director or production manager we've had, you constantly have a bad attitude towards us and you ignore your fans but we can get you out of there. We can help you Shane." He motioned to Jason who was standing near them the whole time and Jason nodded.

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Shane looked up at them and his solemn expression turned hard and cold and he stood up. "I don't need help and I certainly don't need you." He pointed right at Nate. "I don't need any of you!" He growled and stormed off into his room. Nate adopted a very hurt look on his face and he glanced at Jason who shared the same look. And he once again asked himself, why did he bother?

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

"Leave me alone Nate!" Shane yelled as Nate followed him into his room.

"No, Shane. I think it's about time I lay some things down." He said calmly but sternly.

"I don't care what you think!" Shane yelled again, his eyes showing nothing but coldness.

"Well you should."

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed

"And hear me out." Nate pointed a finger at him. "I've had it up to here with you and your attitude and so has Jason. We never get anything done because you're always storming out of sets and recording studios. I'm surprised we've came this far already. So, I've come to a decision and so has Jason and before you protest, no you do not have a say in this."

Shane glared at him and waited for him to continue.

"As much as we don't want this to happen, if you don't shape up, we're going to have to kick you out of the band."

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Shane growled. "You need me; you are nothing with out me!"

Nate shook his head, "That is not necessarily true. I can sing very well and so can Jason."

"The band is called 'Connect Three.'"

"The band name could easily be changed." Nate explained. "Or we can find a replacement."

"You can't replace me, I'm Shane Gray!"

"You see! This is what I mean! You think that your life is perfect just because you're famous! Well news flash Shane! It isn't! You wouldn't be where you are if it wasn't for all those music producers that you tell off." He sighed, "So its up to you Shane…either change your attitude or leave the band."

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Time seemed to tick by forever as Nate watched Shane contemplate over the decision. Nate swallowed and silently begged that Shane would change his ways and come back to the band. Shane had always been like a brother to him and it would hurt to see him go. It would hurt a lot.

"Fine." Shane stood up and Nate looked hopeful. But when he locked eyes with Shane, his face dropped. His eyes were two dark orbs of ice. Nate couldn't see any form of emotion in them.

"Like I said, I don't need you and I never will." He hissed and pushed passed Nate and out of the room. Nate stood frozen in place where he was standing. He heard the door slam close behind him, he heard Shane demanding that they stopped the bus, and then Jason ask where he was going and then Jason never getting an answer. He faltered slightly from the sharp stop from the bus and never took his eyes off the wall when it started moving again.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

He felt his chest tighten up at the thought that Shane was really gone. He clenched his jaw and balled up his hands into fists at his side. But he wasn't angry. He was upset. He had always looked up to Shane from the moment he met him. In the beginning, he had always gone to Shane for advice and Shane was always there. Nate had a question about music? Shane was there to answer. Nate had a question about girls? Shane was always there. Nate doubted one of the songs he was writing? Shane was there to tell him that it was great. When Nate was having a bad day, Shane would always be there to comfort him.

What had happened to that guy?

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Nate didn't even remember when it all happened. When it started to happen. Shane just started to act differently and then he became someone that Nate didn't recognize. Shane had become a monster. He had become a completely heartless person. Never in a million years did Nate ever expect to hear such harsh words coming from Shane's mouth. Especially directed at him and Jason.

He didn't hear the door open behind him and Jason walk in. He was only aware that there was another presence in the room when he felt a hand on his shoulder. For a moment, his heart leapt and he thought Shane was back. But when he turned around he saw the concerned face of Jason.

"Nate, are you crying?" Jason asked.

Was he crying? He wasn't sure. Everything was numb. He had never felt more betrayed in his entire life. Shane was like the older brother he never had and he always hoped they would keep that brotherly bond. But Shane had thought otherwise.

But apparently he was crying because Jason, without even thinking about it, pulled him into a hug. Nate, at any other point in time, would have backed away from a hug but Jason was the only thing he had left. And he was not going to push another 'brother' away.

"It's alright Nate." Jason's comforting voice rang out through the deafening silence. "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"But why?" Nate asked, his voice cracking with emotion. "Why did it have to happen?"

"I don't know." Jason said quietly. "I wish I had the answers for you Nate, I really do."

"I should have seen it coming." Nate whispered. "I should have gotten to him sooner."

"This is not your fault Nate." Jason told him sternly. "And you can't blame yourself. This is nobody's fault but Shane's. He brought it upon himself."

The two stood there for a long time without another word. Nate didn't even care anymore that he was hugging another guy. Jason, although slightly air headed at times, was always there. He always knew the right things to say at the right times. And that's what Nate needed right now.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

And the two of them never heard from Shane Gray again. Nate had eventually calmed down, but he grew even more serious around people and it took Jason to get him out of it and even Jason had trouble sometimes.

But Nate would never forget Shane. He would never forget all the good times the three of them shared on tour, all the funny memories and even all the bad moments.

They never did find a replacement for Shane. They held auditions once but when Jason found someone that he might like, Nate turned them down. No one could ever replace Shane. It wouldn't be the same having another person there that wasn't Shane. It was always Shane and if Shane wasn't there, then nobody would be there.

It was a year since Shane had left the band and they had a concert that night. Nate, a few months earlier, wrote a song about how he was feeling about the whole situation. He didn't want to show it to anybody but eventually opened up to Jason. Jason really liked the song and insisted that they play the song. Nate reluctantly agreed.

So on the night of the concert, Nate sat at the Grand Piano and played the song in memory of Shane Gray.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

He played the last notes of the song and reached up and wiped a tear from his eye. He sniffed and glanced at Jason. Jason gave him a sad smile. Nate looked out into the audience but didn't hear a thing. All he heard was the pounding of his own heart.

How to save a life


A/N: Well yea. Nate might have been a little OOC but I wanted to show you that Nate, behind his rough, serious exterior, was really a caring, sensitive guy who just wanted his 'big brother' back.