A/N: Here's a new story I've been working on. I haven't figured out the direction it's going to go in yet but I'm sure the characters will figure that out for me soon enough! And don't worry all you Edward fans - I only like Jacob as Bella's friendie. :)
Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Listen to the Dark
Fear. It was ever present. Ask it to leave and it held on even tighter. It was my way of life on the streets. Not that I had time to think about such things as fear. It was always keep your wits about you, always stay present or danger will creep its way in. We took care of each other, Jacob and I, but we both had an understanding that if the opportunity of safety and protection came to one of us, the other would willingly encourage them to go. Without jealousy, or selfishness, or doubt. Just hope that we would be happy and one day, find each other again.
Chapter 1: All For Believing
I rubbed my hands together, trying to get the warmth back into them, standing in line. Jake and I had gotten to the Open Door two hours before the first dinner was served. We knew the second service was always packed, and to be prepared for having to run over to one of our many frequented shelters, we were always first in line for number one. My thick leather jacket felt heavy on my back, but kept my thighs and torso from becoming icicles. I planned on talking to Sue, one of the organizers of the place, to maybe let us stay in the church's coffee room on their two couches that night. I really did hope we wouldn't have to sleep at Ferris's that night. As much as I appreciated a cot and blanket, the company wasn't exactly enjoyable. I hated getting split up with Jacob.
Jake put an arm around me, as I started to shiver from the cold wind that blew on my back. Finally, the doors opened and we were allowed in. Relief washed over me as I stepped in to the big hall. It was bright, warm, and safe.
I never felt that I would get hurt when I was with Jacob, but the unknown was always out there and that was what scared me. I had learned to be tough, though. My mom had granted me that privilege. I had lived with her all my life, never leaving her side in Phoenix, even when we lived in a crappy apartment , when she went out at night, came home terribly drunk, brought back men who looked dangerously similar to the guys posted on the community bulletin board as WANTED. And although she never told me who my father was, where he lived, or if he was even alive, I kept telling myself that one day, she would apologize for everything she'd done, get help, and tell me all I needed to know.
Unfortunately, it turned out that it was hard for her to even live with me any more, as she took off with a new guy, Phil, without a goodbye. It was hard getting my bearings those first weeks after she left. My job kept me well off. I kept going to school and since she really hadn't paid much attention to my life before, no one suspected that she had left. At least until I was caught sleeping in class and the principal called me to his office, where I was greeted by two counselors. They asked me about mom and I answered with curt replies, telling them that she was working a lot and I had just been doing a lot of homework late at night. I don't think that they really believed me, but didn't want to take too much action before they really knew what was going on. I, however, decided to get out. I left on Friday, before a long weekend, giving me enough time to get out before school started and they sent out alerts.
Before leaving, I took the little amount of money I'd saved, working at the 7/11. It wasn't much, but it allowed me to stay in shitty motels as I hitchhiked through the country. I was careful not to get too close to anybody in case they became aware of who I was, but when I met Jacob Black in Oklahoma, I couldn't help but become friends with him. I knew he wouldn't rat me out to the authorities, seeing as he was younger than me himself; no one wouldn't know it, though, considering his size.
He told me he was making his way to Chicago and asked me to go with him. I did, as I was looking for security and wasn't particularly traveling in any certain direction. We became comrades and both worked together to get the most out of the lives we had as we made our way to Chicago. It was overwhelming and terrifying but necessary and we both knew so.
Jacob and I had been in Chicago for 2 months already and made connections throughout the city. We knew where to get a hot meal every day of the week and a place to stay every night, even if the shelters were horrible. I felt like we had a grip on the city and our situations; like we could survive here. Jacob and I were close but I think he did want to be closer. I just didn't want to think of the future or any possibilities of Jacob and I being something more. I was just happy where we were and happy that it was us against the world, together, not just me.
I sat at the table, eating my dinner, waiting for Jake to get back from the washroom. I looked around the hall and saw that I knew almost everyone in the room, either from meeting them or from their reputation. Whatever way you looked at it, there was a community here that looked out for each other. No one was truly alone. At Jake and my table, sat a couple of teens and a few of the older homeless people. I chatted with them and found out that the police had done a raid of the alleys a couple blocks away. Gosh, the authorities can be shits sometimes. They had imprisoned a bunch of people. I felt bad for them because, through Jake and I chatting with a lot of them, I learned that most of them were too sick or addicted to help themselves. God, I was glad I had Jake to keep me sane.
When I had been chatting with the table's occupants, Jake came back and I hadn't realized that my favourite sound in the world had filled the room. One song. It was all he ever played. It was the same every night I came, but beautiful all the same. I stopped eating so that I could enjoy the music without hearing my chewing.
"Come on, Bells," Jacob said from across the table, where he sat eating his food, "hate to hurry you, but we got finish fast so we can talk to Sue or get a move on." He gave me an expectant look, then a small smile when I started eating again.
I looked up from eating and saw the boy playing at the piano. He finished the song and I was sad that the beautiful sound no longer filled my ears. However, instead of getting up and leaving the Open Door, like he usually did every night I came here, he just sat there, staring at the keys with his head down. I wondered if something was wrong and had a strange sensation to go over and comfort him. I always felt a pull towards him, but I didn't even know what his name was. No one who frequented the Open Door knew who he was or the two people he was with, a short, pixie-like girl who, despite probably being homeless, always had cool clothes, and a tall, sort of threatening, large boy with brown hair, who was certainly a contrast to the pianist and his flaming bronze locks.
The two others walked over to him and the girl quietly said something to him, patting him on the back. He nodded and the three of them walked over to the door, but before they left, the piano player turned towards me and looked me in the eyes. I gasped as I looked into his bright green eyes. I felt as though I could see his soul in the sea of emerald and I felt like he could see my soul as well. It felt as though a shot of electricity had passed between the two of us, but before I could get over it, the girl tugged on his arm and they were out the door.
"Bella," Jake started, snapping me out of my trance, "come on. Are you finished? Let's go talk to Sue." He eyed me quizzically, but I just nodded and got up, really hoping that Sue would let us stay in the church tonight.
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Two weeks. I hadn't seen the three of them for two weeks. And believe me, I looked for them, every single time we went to the Open Door. It made me feel nervous because of the break in routine. I had seen the boy and heard him play that beautiful music almost every second day for two months and then, nothing.
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Sue let us stay at the church frequently for the past while, I think it was because she was worried about the shelters and us being out on the street for the night in the cold, not that we hadn't had to bare the cold of the street before. She truly was a very caring woman, never asking why we weren't in foster care, like most people did. I'm sure she was curious, but I guess she didn't drive us away, as it would have.
Jake had had to live out time in foster homes and I had heard the stories, so we both agreed that the freedom we had in Chicago was a better option than getting caught and sent off somewhere.
I met Esme on a Wednesday. She was dressed in comfortable, clean, and beautiful clothing. Joy and compassion seemed to radiate from her. However, I just thought that she was one of those rich snobs that liked to help the "needy" so they got a free ticket to Heaven or something. I was wrong, of course.
Jake liked her from the start. I could tell. She helped serve people dinner and then came and sat at our table. All of us younger people at the table were weary of her. Anyone could be a possible threat to our worlds, so everyone had to keep their guards up. But when Jake started talking with her, she really opened up and suddenly, everyone was talking to her at the table, including myself. She shared all kinds of things about her life, like where she'd traveled to and what she'd done. What really struck me, though, was how she said she'd started out just like us; going from shelter to shelter, soup kitchen to soup kitchen.
Esme was there at the Open Door every time I went in with Jacob for the next month. She became a sort of role model for me and we often went off and had talks by ourselves about my life before Chicago. She seemed really understanding, not sympathetic which was nice. I didn't need anyone's pity. She told me that she was in Chicago for a while, but then she was moving to the West to start her own interior design company.
"I know it may sound silly," she said, "but I really do love it."
"It's not silly. It's your dream and you're pursuing it. I think it's commendable," I told her. "So where are you going?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"Forks, Washington," she told me. I became shockingly upset at this. I had known she was leaving, but the realization came with the finality of the words. I had grown close to Esme over the month. It was as if she was everything my own mother wasn't. I understood that she was leaving me too and I felt oddly abandoned. To lose one mother had broken me, but to lose another, the thought made a pain come to my chest.
Sue came up to me one day when Jake and I were talking at our dinner table and asked me to join her and Esme in the church's office. I curiously glanced at Jacob, but he just shrugged and continued eating his chili as he watched me go.
Esme sat at a chair across from where Sue sat, at her desk. Esme turned to me. "Hey Bella," she said, "come, have a seat beside me." She smiled warmly at me and I smiled back, sitting down in the uncomfortable chair.
Esme looked slightly nervous as she looked me in the eye and said, "Bella, I want to ask you something." She looked down at her hands, folded in her lap. "But, before I do, I want you to know that nothing has to happen if you don't want it to."
I began to get nervous, as a hundred different possible reasons for me being there at that moment ran through my mind. I didn't understand what was happening and started getting impatient. I looked up at Sue for answers but she only looked at me, gave me a small smile, and looked back at Esme, who was looking at me.
"As you know, Bella," Esme said to me, "I'm starting a new life in Washington next week and I have talked to Sue about this quite a bit and would like to know if you would want to come with me to Forks."
I didn't know what I was expecting but it definitely wasn't that. I didn't look at either of them; I only stared at my hands, stuffed in my fingerless gloves. I pulled at a loose thread on my big leather jacket.
Jake. He was the only thing that crossed my mind at that moment. We always said that if an opportunity came for one of us, we had to take it. And shit, this was one hell of an opportunity. Esme meant a lot to me and this would mean a new start. But I knew it was supposed to be her new start, not mine. I didn't know why she'd want me there to mess things up for her.
"Why?" I whispered.
"Why, Bella? Because I want to give you a new home; one that's safe and happy, somewhere you can thrive and become the best version of yourself. I think you need this. I think we can both be extremely happy as our own family, together."
Esme's little speech shocked me. I didn't know she cared so much. I mean, I know she cared, she is the most caring person I've ever met, but I didn't know she cared. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I'm sure tears began to stream down my face. I looked up at Esme and she really did look like she truly believed everything she had just said. I looked at Sue, who also had tears running down her face.
I nodded to both of them and said, "Of course I'll come with you Esme." She grinned at that and so did Sue. Suddenly, I found myself in a tight three-person hug, smiling from ear to ear. But still, in the back of my head, there was a voice saying that it was too good to be true. I tried to shake it away.
I walked out of the office and saw Jake sitting in a chair near the door. He looked up at me and his eyes seemed to be sad and happy at the same time. "Are you going?" he asked.
I didn't understand. Did he know? "How do you-?"
"Esme and Sue both talked to me and told me what they were thinking about." He face looked determined. "Bells, you've got to go. It's amazing and you're amazing. Perfect fit right?" He grinned at me and I'm sure my face was starting to get red. God, I'd miss him. I smiled as a few tears began to fall from my eyes. He was up instantly, enveloping me in his warm embrace.
"Don't you go worrying about me, now. You know me, I'm tough. And just remember that that an opportunity for me will come up, I'll jump for it, and one day, we will find each other again. I know it." He squeezed me once more before letting go and I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw a tear in his eye.
Now here came a hard part. "Jake, I know it's really fast, but Esme told me that we could leave tonight and drive to Forks. We'd get there on time and it'd be cheaper than flying. But it means I have to say goodbye to you tonight." I began to tear up again at the thought of having to leave him so soon.
His eyes opened a little in shock, looking pained, but he quickly covered it up with a smile and a quick squeeze of my shoulders. "You have to know, Bells, that I'm hugely happy for right now. I want you to have this chance and if that means leaving tonight, you just have to. I'll be fine." I looked up at him and was sure I did see pain in his eyes but knew that he wouldn't let me see it because he truly was the nicest person in the world.
Wanting to change the mood, I told him about what Esme had told me about Forks. I told him it was rainy all the time. Yippee. I hate the rain. We talked for a little while, just trying to enjoy each other's company for as long as possible, until Esme came up to us, smiling brilliantly.
"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but are you ready to go Bella? We really do need to get going," she said, slightly apologetically.
"No need to apologize. Yeah you're ready, right Bells?" he asked me. I nodded, not looking him in the eyes. I didn't want him to see the pain in mine and I didn't want to see it in his. If I was going to leave tonight, we'd just have to pretend that we both thought the other would be okay.
We were out on the sidewalk by Esme's expensive car when Jacob and I had to say our goodbyes. I hadn't looked at him since we started walking to the car. "I'll write you and send it to Sue," I said. I looked up now to see that he was no longer hiding back the pain. "Oh Jake," I whispered as I hugged him tightly. I knew we really did have to get going. I squeezed him tighter and then let go. "Even if we never find each other, I will never forget you Jacob Black." I said as tears poured down my face and looked at him, memorizing his face.
"Me too, "he mumbled and his stare into my eyes changed into one of desperation and determination. I saw Esme walking slowly up the sidewalk towards the car, giving us our privacy. Jacob put both his hands softly on the sides of my face. I realized then why he looked so determined, but I didn't fight it. He bent his face closer to mine and gently pressed his lips to mine. His were soft and warm but I was slightly pissed off with the people who described kissing as so amazing. With Jacob, it just felt awkward. At least for me. I was shocked, though, when he deepened it and pressed harder against my lips. I didn't want to move because I knew he really liked it. By not pulling back, it was my way of saying thank you to him for being there for me. I hoped he didn't interpret it differently.
Esme cleared her throat from where she was standing by the driver's door. Jacob finally let go and I hugged him one last time before getting into the car. Esme started the car and I think it was a mutual feeling between Jacob and me that we had said all that needed to be said. I just looked at him and he looked back, sadness filling his features. We started down the street and I never took my eyes off of him until the distance provided that I couldn't see him anymore.
Goodbye Chicago, I thought to myself. Goodbye Jacob Black.
A/N: So there you go! That was chapter uno! I really hope you liked it.
By the way, the chapter title is a song by Missy Higgins. :)
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