It wasn't like she had gotten her hopes up about Luke being her father or anything. She'd heard the stories of him ever since she was a girl- and what were the chances that she, an insignificant scavenger on the edge of the galaxy, would be related to the Luke Skywalker? And besides, if Luke was really her father, he wouldn't have left her behind on Jakku. His kindness and compassion was legendary.
However, when his lightsaber called out to her... Well, it was too much of a coincidence to ignore.
"Luke?" she said, testing the way the name felt on her lips. She held out his lightsaber, and he just stared at her for what felt like ages. She couldn't read him at all, but something about this situation felt off-kilter.
She felt the hilt of the saber rattling in her hand, and she didn't try to hold it back. She watched it fly seamlessly into his hand, and then he lifted it up and down a couple times as if reacquainting himself with an old friend.
"You came on the Millennium Falcon," he observed, wedging the light-saber into his belt. She felt an overwhelming amount of dread.
"Han is-"
"I know," he said, so calmly that it unsettled her even further. "I felt it too."
She didn't really know what to say to him at that point. Leia had made the objective of the mission clear: do not force Luke to come back, but if he needs a gentle push, give him one. She felt under-qualified and hopeless.
"How much do you know?" she asked, although she felt like he could be asking her the same question and it would still fit the context of the situation.
"I know enough," he said, walking a little closer to her. "I know that Han died, and you used the force to overpower Kylo Ren."
You need a teacher, Kylo's words haunted her still.
"There's a little more to it than that, but that's the gist of it," she agreed.
"You have a lot of questions, don't you?" Luke said, although his tone seemed to suggest that he was telling her rather than asking. She couldn't feel him inside her brain like she could when Kylo was reading her mind, but perhaps it was because Luke was a Jedi master. Or perhaps it was written all over her face.
"I suppose that's true. The trip back to the Resistance base is a long one- I could ask you some of them on the way there?" she suggested. She'd never had to ask anyone to do anything, let alone for someone else's benefit. Obviously, she was struggling with it, because Luke just laughed at her effort.
"Or you could ask them here. I'm in no hurry," Luke countered, folding his arms.
"I don't think Leia would-" she cut herself off. She didn't know if she was allowed to talk about Leia right now. She should've asked more questions in the mission briefing.
"Don't worry. I know that Leia wants me to come home. And one day, I will- I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet," he explained.
"You feel responsible for what happened with Kylo," she assumed. She immediately reprimanded herself- she shouldn't be so forward, especially in this delicate of a situation. Rather than being upset with her, he just smiled sadly.
"The force is strong with you," he observed. She knew it was meant to be a compliment, but it made her uncomfortable. All her experiences with the force had been negative, and she didn't really want to be included in it. "You're going to do great things, Rey."
She didn't remember telling him her name.
"How do you know me?" she asked suspiciously, her heart leaping into her throat with each beat.
"That's a big question," he admitted. He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "Perhaps... Another time."
"Tell me now," Rey demanded, a bit more fiercely despite the fact that her eyes were a bit watery. "Or come back to the Resistance with me."
He looked at her with pained eyes. She knew that she couldn't really force him into doing anything that he wouldn't do willingly himself, and by acknowledging that fact, he probably knew it as well, but she wasn't going to back down. If he was as noble as everyone back at the Resistance made him out to be, then he would choose one or the other.
"Back to the Resistance it is then," he decided. She should be glad. She did what she needed to do. Nothing more, nothing less. But yet, the fact that the discussion of her past was somehow a worse option than facing his sister's potential wrath, stung her. She walked in silence the entire trek down the mountain side. She didn't ask him about the various landmarks that she had wondered about on the way up, or about why he chose this island in particular, or about why he chose to stand at the very top of the island when he would've sensed her presence hours before she even set foot on the terrain. And in return, he didn't speak either. And she was glad for that.
However, as soon as Chewbacca was in sight, Luke was all smiles and hugs. There were roars of celebration and C3PO was nattering on and on about how thrilled Leia will be and Rey felt so alone. Even if Finn were here, she'd still be the odd one out, being the only girl on board. Normally, silly, insignificant ideas like gender didn't phase her, but she was already feeling marginalized and being a woman didn't really help her case. They boarded the Falcon and Rey offered to pilot the ship on her own once they took off so that Chewie would have some time to catch up with his old friend, and so that she could be alone in the cockpit for a while. She never wanted to be alone, but sometimes, the solitude was easier than being surrounded by strangers.
"You're upset," Luke observed, sliding into the co-pilot seat some time after they had left.
"I'm not," Rey insisted. "Just a little flustered is all."
"A true Jedi can control their emotions," Luke said matter-of-factly. It sounded a lot more like he was bragging.
"Well then, it's a good thing that I'm not a true Jedi," Rey replied stubbornly, pretending to be infatuated with the controls on the dashboard, even though she knew most of them by now.
"You could be, if you wanted," he pointed out.
"Are you offering to teach me?" she asked, finally meeting his eyes. She couldn't help but be reminded of when Han offered her a job.
"You did bring me back my light-saber. I owe you one," he explained. She looked away again.
"I'd be flattered," she said. "I just don't know if this is the right time, with the threat of the First Order and all."
"You're deflecting. There's no better time than in the wake of darkness," Luke insisted.
"Perhaps... Another time," she said, mocking his tone from earlier in a way that was too mean-spirited for her liking, but she'd apologize later.
A couple days went by after Luke's return, and there was nothing but celebration at the base for weeks. Finn was allowed out of his hospital room for a couple hours during the parties, and Rey was thrilled to see her friend doing so well, as was Poe, judging by the way he stayed glued to Finn's side all day and sometimes into the night.
"Luke says you're upset with him," said Leia, once she was able to find a moment to speak with her privately. There's no indication of accusation behind her words, but Rey still got the sense that Leia was disappointed.
"I don't know how I feel," Rey admitted, exhaling heavily. "He knew me before I even introduced myself. How?"
"He probably sensed it," Leia assumed. Rey shook her head, feeling tears prickling at the bottom of her eyes.
"He called me Rey," she said, rolling her eyes upwards to try and stop the tears from falling in front of the General. "You can't sense names, can you?"
"No," Leia agreed, moving to the bed in Rey's bunk. She patted the space next to her, motioning for her to sit down, Sniffling, Rey obliged, and immediately, Leia's hands moved to undo Rey's hair and get started on braiding. "I wanted Luke to tell you this himself, but if you need to hear it now, so be it. He is not your father."
Rey knew that she should've expected that much, but the proverbial door shutting still stung her a little bit.
"Not biologically anyways," Leia added. Rey turned to face her, stunned by the implication. "He found you when you were only a baby, stranded and cold. He only intended to help you get back on your feet until someone came back for you, but no one did. He started asking around about you and learned that your biological parents had been killed just days earlier in a raid on the village. He took you in as his own, and Rey, he adored you."
At this point, silent tears were streaming down her face and she didn't even have the common sense to feel embarrassed.
"When he started his Jedi Academy, he would often leave you with Han and I while he was away. You were too young to learn the ways of the force, and the journey would've been too strenuous for you. One day, he just... Never came back. When word got out that Ben was hunting down the Jedi, we dropped you off on Jakku to keep you safe. You were too young to show any sign of being Force-Sensitive, so Ben had no idea that he should even be looking for you, but to be safe, we had to send you away," Leia explained. "I'm so sorry that you got caught up in this, Rey."
It took her a while to process all this information, and for a while, she just cried without saying anything. Leia wrapped her arms around her, and Rey leaned her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes for a couple minutes. She felt an overwhelming sense of relief knowing that she was never unwanted or unloved- quite the opposite apparently.
"So Luke didn't even know that you had sent me to Jakku?" Rey asked once she was ready to speak again.
"No. He had no idea," Leia confirmed. "In his ideal world, we would've raised you as our own, and you would never have endured the hardships that you did. But look at you! He's proud of you, and hell, I am too. It shouldn't have happened this way, but you made the best of it."
"Thank you," Rey sniffled. She still felt confused and conflicted, but knowing that the General was proud of her definitely helped.
She turned around again and let Leia resume her braiding.
The next morning, she set out to confront Luke. She found him swapping stories with Poe in the mess hall, but upon her arrival, Luke excused himself from the table immediately.
"Leia told me what happened," Rey said before Luke could say anything. "About how you thought you were leaving me in good hands."
"Rey, I'm so sorry that it worked out like this," he said, placing his prosthetic hand on her shoulder. "Although, if it's any consolation, I know what it's like to be in your shoes."
"You mean having sand wedged in places where there shouldn't possibly be sand?" she asked.
"Yeah, I don't miss that much either," he agreed laughing a little. "I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
"It wasn't your fault that I ended up on Jakku," she acknowledged, smiling up on him. "I'm just glad to know the truth."
He moved to hug her, and she had to stand on her toes to hug him back, but she suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of finality- all those days of waiting and watching the sky for him had paid off. She thought of all the days where she felt hopeless and lost and insignificant, in a world by herself, there only to watch it go by without her, and suddenly, all those negative feelings had been replaced with the slightest sense of belonging.
And finally, after all this time, she was able to leave Jakku behind.
