Disclaimer applies to everything.

A/N: A new year has rolled by again, and to celebrate, I decided to post a series of fics that have little to do with each other (meaning you can read the chapters in any order you like, if you like). The title speaks for itself. Enjoy!

Scene 1: Doomtrain's Enthusiasm

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The Kashkabald Desert was not called THE desert for nothing. The sun beat mercilessly down on them, and the boiling sand beneath their feet made them feel like they were standing on a hotplate. All the same, the gang couldn't understand why Squall refuses to take off his black jacket and Irvine discard even his hat. Talk about male pride.

Quistis shielded her eyes, sweat running down her skin in rivulets as she silently cursed the Centra weather. Only Cactuar was enjoying it if anything, and that's saying something. She had to constantly keep cool with Blizzard spells, and that was running low. She didn't fancy being hit by anything higher, but if that's what it takes...

"Water!" Selphie panted as she cast the ball of water onto herself. "Squall, are we going to be any longer?!" She whined and was greeted by silence. Of course, what else was she expecting? An answer?

"We're not going back until we get that monster," Quistis answered on behalf of their silent commander. "Maybe you can ask either Bahamut or Queazacotl to fly up and scout it for us?"

"If I told you once I told you a hundred times - Water - they dislike the heat as much as we do, so there." Selphie's gravity-defying hair was limp now after being watered down so much. Quistis shook her head as she pinned her hair even higher. "We're getting nowhere, Squall," She addressed her sullen commander and got the usual silent reply. She sighed and finally her patience snapped. "I don't believe you dragged us here to look for an Abyss Worm that reportedly stole a priceless artifact from Professor Clementine!" Her voice rose and Squall winced. "Quisty..."

"What's so important about the artifact that we have to track the thing ON FOOT?!"

"Abyss Worms can't be seen from the Ragnarok,' Squall finally spoke, and his voice was cracked from the heat. "Didn't I tell you to bring a full stock of Water?"

"I'm half depleted, so help me," Selphie again cast the spell on her. She suddenly brightened. 'I see one!!"

They were facing a large mound and Quistis sighed. She stretched her whip and "Here we go!"

The sharp crack rang in the air and presently the Abyss Worm reared its ugly head. Not for long though, for Squall quickly cut it's head clean.

"Urgh..." Selphie prodded the remains with her nunchaku and she squealed in delight when she spied a dull-gray slab of stone covered in muck. "Yes!!! oh Doomtrain, I have - "

Her words were cut off by the roar of a train coming and Squall dragged Quistis aside. "Doomtrain!!!"

The GF roared past them and swung on its non-existent tracks. 'You called, Mistress?"

Selphie slapped her forehead. Naivety was Doomtrain's *main* virtue a.k.a. pain. "No, I did not call you, Doomy," Selphie sighed, using her nickname for the GF. "I was just swearing by your name... wait a minute!' She clapped her hand in happiness, struck with a brilliant idea. "Doomy, can we ride you?"

Quistis quirked her brow. "Oh-no..." Sure, granted, the GF is innocent, and in the shape of a long-carriage transportation that's capable of inter- dimensional travel. But...

"If you're protected against my status effects, you can," Doomtrain was ever agreeable. Selphie laughed and turned to the other SeeDs, who were quite apprehensive. Quistis checked her inventory. Thank God she had the foresight to equip a Ribbon. "I'm protected, yeah, but..."

"It's going to be hot." Squall said bluntly and Selphie sighed. "Doomtrain can get us to the Ragnarok in a jiffy. We'll just have to stand it, that's all. Besides, what's a little heat?"

A little heat was an understatement. If they thought the Kashkabald Desert was unforgiving, then Doomtrain's insides were HELL. But they made it back to the airship albeit feeling thoroughly cooked and bathed in sweat. Zell greeted them cheerfully. "Didja get it?"

Squall took off his sodden jacket and collapsed gratefully under an air- conditioning duct. "..."

Quistis threw aside her whip, kicked off her boots, let her hair down and collapsed next to Squall. "..."

"We got it!" Selphie cheered, holding the slimy tablet up. Zell blinked at her. 'Whoa... you're still standing?"

"We took Doomtrain on the ride home," Squall muttered with his eyes closed. Quistis nodded in agreement, savoring the air-conditioning. "Of course Selphie didn't feel a thing, because she was *junctioned* to the thing!" Her voice was bitter and Selphie giggled. "Sorry guys, didn't know that!"

"Forget it," Quistis growled and rubbed her temples. 'Let's get out of here. By Shiva, I need a bath."

Zell blinked confusedly and set the Ragnarok for home. It couldn't have been that bad... what's a little heat anyway? He calmly piloted the Ragnarok, ignoring the three friends who were sprawled behind him in sheer exhaustion.

A little poke in his mind startled him and he remembered the little conversation he had with Tonberry. The little thing's not doing to well...

A/N: What do you think? For once, I'm doing a fic that's not Quall, but don't kill me yet. Next up - Tonberry Innocence.