A/N: Hey guys, this is a quick little story I've turned into a multi-story chapter that I had an idea for just last night when waking up from a dream. It began out of the notes app on my iPhone and just grew bigger from there. I'd also like to talk about the fact if you're suffering from suicidal thoughts. Know that you're not the only one going through this. Someone is always there to help you through this. Even I am - I'm willing to help you or even talk about what's going on in your life and help you find the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you enjoy this story and know that there's more coming soon as this is a story I've taken deep thought into now, so know that it's one of my priority stories :) with that, please don't forget to comment and share!
Phantomwolfx
Nothing was wrong in his mind. There was nothing wrong with him in the first place - maybe apart from anger issues which he'd acknowledged long ago but that was far from what he was doing. Being just an hour past midnight. The red-bannered turtle walked into the kitchen, opening one of the draws and seeing a stainless steel silver butchers knife in which he'd grabbed and gripped with his three fingers. Mindlessly, almost as if he was under command, the turtle closed the draw before stopping and moving along the floor, his feet missing the dip up into the main lair which carried him over to the dojo
Moving the knife which was still on him - the turtle then opened the door in which concealed candles and just enough light to see around the area surrounding him. Closing the door behind him. The turtle then began to kneel down in the centre of the dojo. Looking around before blinking, looking at the knife and observing the shininess of its stainless steel design. It wasn't before long that he moved his hand fast enough to change the position of the knife so it was facing him. Looking at it for a couple of seconds, he aimed it at the upper centre of his chest, piercing through the strong yet connected piece of his shell, hearing a piercing crack go through his shell before he felt pain almost unimaginable that he'd never thought he'd ever feel.
Gasping in shock, Raphael looked at his current state - his eyes wide at his action that he'd carried out on himself. Completely automated and with no thought as to what he was really doing at any point whatsoever.
Panicked, he held the knife before extracting the blade out from his chest, blood beginning to cascade from his wound, indicating that he'd gotten quite a lot of major blood vessels, looking at the knife, he saw the dark red substance begins to drip from the knife, but that wasn't his most important priority. He felt weak and pained. But he wasn't able to move. Do anything. Dropping the knife, the turtle's vision began to feel blurry and quite dizzy - not being the usual headsmen he'd get from getting hit roughly.
Having failed to try and get up. The red-bannered turtle now tries to scream out for help - but is unable to as he suddenly has no control over his body but to now fall on his side. Trying to fight the tiredness he feels, he eventually succumbs to it before his breathing becomes a lot more shallow before memories begin rushing through his mind, the ones he had of Leo, Mikey and Donnie, the times he'd hate his brothers. Nearly killing one on the rooftop. Before saving the one his mind had destined to kill before everything began going black. He knew what was happening - even if he tried to fight it. But sometimes the strongest of warriors fail
Looking around. Raphael stood up - looking down at the now small slit in his chest where he inserted the knife which fatally pierced his heart and his now still body, covered in blood. Raphael never had the desire to commit suicide - but he didn't know what the drive for this was though. Not once had the teenage turtle been more in regret then now
"Wh-What have I done?!" He said panicked. He'd watched plenty of shows that focus on people being ghosts. Maybe if he lies down and focuses really hard. He can get back into his body. "Th-This has to work" he added as his entity lied down and closed his eyes. Focusing hard on trying to rejoin his spirit into his body
It would be a solid minute before he gave up. Yelling in frustration in the fact that he thought it would be too late. "No goddamnit! I'm not going to let this happen!"
"Then why is it in the first place," A man said behind the Mutant turtle. Raphael - being scared and confused looked up at the spirt who looked like he'd been stuck here for a good while.
"I-I don't know. I just. Grabbed the knife and forced it into my shell. Before I realised what I was doing wrong and then it was too late. I was about to call out but-" the sound of the crack repeating through his mind just as he thought about it again.
"They say that every spirit gets a second chance at living unless it's too severe," The spirit said.
"I need one. For my brothers. I don't know how they'd react when they see this" Raphael said his hands shaking at the sudden actions of what he'd done set in.
"But child. I do. There's a catch to this second chance though"
"I'm ready to hear it. I'd do anything" Raph said his eyes softened as if he was in trouble
"You travel with me through alternative Universes and when that is over. You get transported ten minutes before the incident back into your body"
Piecing the puzzle together. Just ten minutes earlier. Raph felt like he'd had an out of body experience. But it was just a daydream to his brothers who didn't think anything of it but Raph being distant more than usual.
"What do these universes consist of?" Raphael asked as he got up off the ground. His jaw still clenched with fear
"Many things. Including other fates that your brothers have suffered. Including ones that have and could've happened"
"I think I know what the first one is then" Raphael murmured as his face in a doleful look
"Follow me, my son," The spirit said as he walked through the portal. Raphael following suit
As they walked through the portal. The outside world was now consistent with typical autumn weather. Leaves brushing along the earth soil being pushed along by the wind. The clouds a darkened grey to shower the earth with a much-needed element to thrive once more. Both spirits stood beside each other - Raphael looking up at the spirit before he nodded his head to make the turtle turn around.
His mouth was left agape as he saw the setting in front of him. The remaining three of his brothers. And his Sensei - standing over his grave.
"Go on. You can walk around. I know how long they were there for"
Walking around the grave. He saw that the grave was littered with flowers, photos and one of his sai lodged in the ground with his bandanna wrapped tightly around the red material that allowed grip on his sai - slowly flickering in the wind.
The sniffles emitted from the Turtles came from the Orange and Purple bannered Turtles. While there was a gap between them. The Blue bannered turtle sat by himself. Not tearing or sad in any way. Much like his father. Frustrated with what they had done wrong - what they could've done right instead.
"Let us go my sons" Master splinter stated softly as he slowly walked off with a sad look. Mikey and Donatello eventually following suit after a couple of minutes. Raphael looking at Mikey and knowing that he wasn't going to be able to handle life without knowing his brother he looked up to was always by his side.
Flustered by what he'd done he'd then turned around to see his older brother still there. Staying as still as a rock and facial expression unchanged.
"Leo?" Raph said as he looked at him. But Leo hasn't noticed anything and was still staring at his grave
"He'll get going down to the lake. That's when you'll be able to contact him"
"How do you-"
"Your brother meditates quite frequently. And I believe you should start doing so too" The spirit said before raising an eyebrow to him In which caused Raph to look slightly disappointed at the chances he had "Your mind is filled with regret, but you have a second chance - know that much."
"I understand," Raph said clenching his fists before looking down at the ground. And it was a heavy breath that caught his attention before he looked up to see Leo slowly getting up and looking at the grave once more before moving behind it and moving toward the lake.
"This is your chance within this universe to talk to him. I suggest you do so" the spirit said.
With the blue bannered turtle now having his legs crossed. He closed his eyes and focused on what was around him. The things he heard. Now meditating. Leo had now become a spirit himself. And it what he'd feel that would finally make him break.
Feeling arms around his shoulders - holding onto him. Raph was trying to make his brother know that he'd always be with him.
"Raph?" Leo said in a confused voice. Raph stood up and saw his older brothers spirit standing in front of him - not even taking a second look. The younger brother enveloped him in a hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck and trying to hold back the tears running down his face, soaking into his bandanna but not for long, did the blue bannered turtle feel drops falling onto his shoulder.
"Why?" Leo said in a low tone to try and comfort his younger brother - he knows that talking to him in his leader like tone wouldn't get a message across, Raphael had always thought he'd lost touch of what his calmed his brothers down. It was completely contradicted when Leo did exactly what calmed him down as a kid - even though it was rarely shown.
"I-I don't know what came over me, I just pushed it through my shell and- I- I tried to call out for help and-" he was interrupted by Leo putting a finger on his mouth to calm him down before hugging him once more, putting his head onto of Raph's to let him know he was safe, calm. But that was all washed away when he no longer felt his presence
"My Son! I felt your presence was troubled. Are you okay?" Master splinter asked as he looked over at Leonardo, who was smiling ever so slightly as he opened his eyes and turned his head to face his father
"I'm fine sensei" He replied getting up off from his position and looking fully at Master Splinter "I just needed some time to reassure myself, and. I'm fine now"
"I'm glad my son. Losing a member especially a brother we all cared for is quite difficult but you don't have to take all of the burdens. Know that we are all here for you - as a family".
"Thank you sensei," He said smiling before walking off, Master Splinter still being there - staring dead on at Raph
"Thank you, my son. Thank you for reassuring your brother - though you are hotheaded, you are very overprotective of your brothers. And I'm glad that hasn't changed" Master Splinter said nodding
"No Problem masta' Splinta'" Raphael said before the world went grey, furrowing his eyebrows, he looked down at the ground and breathed out "I've learned my lesson"
"As much as I know you have. You haven't learned about your own brother's paths yet. Even yours" The Spirit said.
"Mine?" Raphael replied as he raised one of his eyes in a questioning manner
"There's the one I will take you to after this one that explains everything," The spirit said as another white portal opened. "Now, in we go," The spirit said as Raphael started moving forward, his bandanna a darker red around the lower part of his eyes, evident that he'd been crying still.
