Quoth the Raven

Summary: Wormwood is about to set straight the differences between ravens and crows.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Sofia the First, but I did make up "Conrad the Crow." I apologize in advance to Wormy. Hehe.

A/N: Wormwood, "The Raven," Edgar Allan Poe in general, Wreck-It-Ralph, and banana pudding all contributed to this story. :D Don't ask how each played a part. Even I'm not entirely sure! lol

Wormwood muttered under his breath as he paced back and forth outside the castle, where Cedric had left him. While the sorcerer had gone gallivanting off with the princess to find necessary ingredients for his oh-so-important potions, he'd been left to himself. Not that he was really complaining, mind you, but it would have been so much nicer had an unwelcomed visitor not interrupted his moment of peace and quiet.

"Oy, Worm-head!" a rather boisterous crow snickered as he flew down from the tree nearby and landed next to the annoyed raven. "How's everything, mate? Been a long time since I've seen you somewhere other than the castle."

"We are not mates, Conrad," Wormwood bit back with a glare. "And it's Wormwood."

Conrad snickered. "Yeah, like that's any better." He smirked as the other bird appeared to be rather exasperated with him. "You never did care for me, did you? What's the deal?"

"You crows are so annoying, and it's no wonder they've had to create those hideous monstrosities in the farming areas just to keep you away."

"What? You mean the scarecrows?" He laughed. "Honestly, the word alone is rather silly. Those things aren't scary. I'd be more scared of a child with sticky hands than I would of a stick with hay."

"Really?" Wormwood shot sarcastically. "Wait right there a moment while I fetch Princess Sofia and request her to dirty her hands just for the occasion."

Conrad chortled. "You're forgetting one thing, Worm-head. The princess likes all of us cute and cuddly creatures. You may feel all high and mighty because you live in the castle now, but don't forget, mate—you're still just a bird."

Sofia hurried back over to the bush where she'd left Wormwood and smiled upon seeing him and Conrad. "Hey, Wormwood. Oh, and hi to you, Conrad. It's been a while." She picked up a basket she'd apparently forgotten.

Conrad grinned and bowed playfully, making the girl giggle. "Pleased to see you, Princess Sofia. Wormwood and I were just having a lively chat about the differences between ravens and crows."

"Oh, really?" She smiled uncertainly. "Well, that's—"

"I don't see anyone making beautiful and haunting poetry about crows," Wormwood shot at the smug crow, smirking when Conrad tossed him a glare. "Then again, they're not quite as elegant as we ravens are."

Sofia laughed nervously. "Can't we all just try to get along?"

"Not even close, princess. Besides, that pesky little feather duster started it."

"Feather duster?" Conrad gasped in disgust. "Do not compare me with an ordinary cleaning tool!"

"Why don't you just fly on back to your own mates and quit bothering me already?" He pointed at him with his wing. "Don't make me get Cedric to cast another spell on you."

Conrad narrowed his eyes at his rival. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?" Wormwood challenged with a grin. "Bothering me only makes my mood worse, and you don't want that. Therefore, be gone, you pesky raven wannabe."

"Excuse me?"

"Did I stutter?" The raven smirked. "Quoth the Raven, Conrad: be gone."

Sofia smiled gently as she scooped the crow into her hands. "Wormwood, you're not being very nice. Conrad is a visitor at the castle, and we're supposed to show hospitality."

"Right," Wormwood drawled as he turned his focus toward her, "because that worked out so well with other visitors such as Sascha, Princess Ivy, and Slickwell…"

She sighed. "All of whom I had bad feelings about. You're just being a mean raven right now."

"What else do you expect, Princess Sofia?" Conrad chimed in, his grin returning. "It must be hard living up to a poetic standard, especially when he isn't all that mysterious or ominous—he's just foul-tempered and quite malodourous if you ask me." He screeched as Wormwood flew toward him in a furry.

"That's it! Hold still, or I'll bake you in a pie!"

"Those were blackbirds, you uncultured feather-head!" Conrad retaliated as he flew faster, Wormwood right on his tail—literally.

Cedric walked back to his apprentice and helped her up while he watched in humor as his companion chased after the other bird. "Wormy and the crow aren't getting along well again, I presume?" he asked with a chuckle.

She giggled. "You could, uh… You could say that." She smiled up at him. "Did we get everything?"

"Yes," he responded, waving his wand and making their ingredients appear. "Though gathering them earlier would have been much easier had we had a basket."

Sofia smiled guiltily and just shrugged before casting a glance at the two birds in the sky, Wormwood still chasing his nemesis with absolute vigor. "How long do you think it will take until Wormwood gives up?"

Cedric laughed. "Oh, Wormy doesn't give up. He doesn't give in. He gets even." Seeing her giggle, he smiled. "Ready to return?"

She nodded and followed him as the chase in the air continued on.

The end

A/N: Well, that's it! That's my last story for the year. I hope everyone has a great time tonight. Be safe and responsible, of course, and I'll see y'all next year. Here's to 2015 and many great new adventures with the "Sofia the First" crew. In fact, I already have six new stories lined up, but they'll be coming out at (more than likely) a slower pace than they have been. With everyone going back to work next week—sigh—things may take a little more time. But I promise it'll be worth it. Best wishes and prosperity to you all. ~AquaTurquoise