Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. All the main characters here belong to their respective owners and this story is just for entertainment and no profit is being made.
AN: Before you read this, I'd like to say that I really don't have anything against Lucas. He's just an easy target in my eyes. I noticed all the girls on the show love him so I just thought up this somehow. I don't even know if I'm going to continue it. And please, I need a good laugh. Flame me if you will so I can laugh at you for wasting your time.
Lucas walked down the hall of Tree Hill High smiling goofishly at everyone who looked his way. He skipped to Brooke, who was at her locker trying to hide from him, and said, "Like, oh my God, Brooke. Like, what is up?...Like."
Brooke slowly sets her sight on Lucas with a terrified look on her face. "Lucas…. Hey. I was just about to—"
"Go over to my house so we can like, watch Britney Spears music videos? Oh my God, I like her but she isn't as good as Paris Hilton."
"—go over to Haley and Peyton," Brooke said as she backed away.
"Oh my God. Right. Then I'll go with you!"
"You don't have to—"
"But, oh my God, I like, want too."
Brooke sighed. "Look, Lucas. I was thinking and uh, I kinda wanna break up...again."
Lucas does something in between gawking and gasping, "OH MY GOD! But we, like, are made for each other. Remember? You're the one, Brooke."
"I kinda only got back with you because I was humiliated so I wanted revenge. Now, there's no need. Plus, you kinda forced it on me in the first place. And I've been 'two-timing' you with my new squeeze."
Brooke makes a run for it but Lucas stops her. She freezes. Lucas puts both of his palms on his cheeks and screams. The students around him start backing away rather than whispering gossip about them. "Like, who is it?"
"I don't really—"
"Oh my God, Brooke! You like someone! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" Brooke's eyes widen in terror as he starts strangling her, "God! You have short-term memory!" He continues even harder.
"It's Taylor!'
Lucas stops but his hands remain on her neck. "Taylor who?"
"James," Brooke coughed out.
"What the Hell are you doing?" said a new voice. Nathan came in with his manly, sexy strut with Haley on his arm. Lucas looked back at Nathan with shock.
"Like, hey, bro," he said flapping (AN: Yes, I said flapping) his eyelashes at his half-brother.
"Why are you hurting Brooke? It's bad enough you had to assume she was in love with you but now you're hurting her?"
"I was…" Lucas trailed off, "She's dating Taylor! She's gay!" Nathan sighed wondering how he was related to this prissy, girly idiot. Didn't he know Brooke was a bi-sexual? It was as clear as day. To her, it was always: being a bi means you have more choices to choose from. On top of that, it was kind of sexy.
"So? Is that why're you're strangling her?" Haley asked.
"But it's like bad and, like, not normal."
"Dude, that's disrespectful."
Brooke backed away once more and bumped into someone. She turned to face Taylor with a cocked eyebrow and a backpack slung over her shoulder. Taylor shook her head at Lucas and wrapped one of her arms around Brooke. They had met and had an instant connections. Of course, it's just a fling to both of them. They got together because they knew they were both heartbreakers and no one would get hurt in this relationship.
"Hey baby," Taylor greeted.
"I'm scared."
"Of?"
"That lunatic you call Lucas. He thinks I'm in love with him."
"He still hasn't noticed you've been well, eight-timing him?" Taylor knew of Brooke's many entertainment-boys/girls but she didn't mind because she had them too. It was still fun to cuddle/'fool around' withBrooke though.
"No. He's an idiot. He saw me naked with Chris and you know what happened."
Taylor kissed Brooke on the lips and said, "Lets go. Who cares about Lucas?"
Brooke snorted, "His mom, barely."
"Like, oh my God, Brooke, where are you going?" Lucas asked from behind them.
Nathan got really bored and punched Lucas for fun.
Taylor and Brooke just ran.
AN: I don't know if this has any humor to it but it was definetely fun to write. Yes, they're all supposed to be incredibly out of character.
