Disclaimer: I don't own SpongeBob SqaurePants. He and the rest of the characters belong to their rightful owner the genius; Stephen Hilenburg.
A/N: This was updated 23/09/12, but I decided to re-update and re-view some little themes here from 2012 and also to update new themes for current 2013 year. Off I go!
1 Party
He did notice at first, however as soon as he began to acknowledge the committed behaviour sequence – it unsettled him – unsettled as in destroyed his sanity and exploded his heart into itty-bitty, incy winy pieces (metaphorically of course).
At parties. At every single festive, partying event that occurred under the sea, he was there - with her. He – the unnamed fellow for the moment, seemed to always be in her company – Sandy's company. Now, he wasn't jealous. SpongeBob was not jealous. He did feel envy about the way Larry tailgated, touched, and twirled Sandy on the dance floor, because Sandy was independent. She could make her own choices, but the very day she she chose him first, SpongeBob made sure to be her first and last choice at all parties and every singles festive, partying event that occurred under the sea.
2 Summer
Sandy's tree-dome had been programmed to Texan temperatures which meant (actual) Texan temperatures. So unfortunately, this meant that whatever season transpired up on the surface, transpired down below in the sea for her as well, thus in August where heat weaves were a killer in her state...she'd be in a warm, warm pickle.
It was hot – blazing hot – sizzling hot – hot hot - so hot that SpongeBob successively as well as desperately persuaded Sandy not to escape to Alaska and/or North Pole (although he wants to meet and praise Santa and Rudolph respectively) for eternity.
"Golly, SpongeBob. There ain't no need for ya to throw a conniption'." she says a tad annoyed, "I'm just kiddin', but can'tya see how hot it is?" remarks Sandy in disbelief, cutting him off before he can think anything. She gestures to her dry grass that needs watering, the ice cream in his hands melting and the sprinklers all over her garden, "cant'ya see how hot I am?"
Quickly so, the sponge opened his mouth to respond, but then he took a closer glance at the squirrel state of dress and thinking it over, wisely clamped his mouth shut.
In a stringy two-piece that surely a crowd pleaser to all males aged thirteen and up, SpongeBob knew that her question possessed double meanings. He admit that yes, the summery season made her hot, but it'd be another thing for the ocean dweller to admit that she, herself in that attire was hot too, if not hotter.
3 Science
"...A-and that's all there is to it," said Sandy, faltering a bit since she was getting a ridiculously good foot massage from her boyfriend. "Science declares it. It's the endorphins that make smooching so dang good."
"Dolphins?"
"Nuh-uh, SpongeBob. Not Dolphins, but En-dor-phins." she giggled despite herself. "There ain't no letter 'L' in that word."
"Oh," he mumbled and laughed slightly embarrassed. "Endorphins." his hands stilled, thus pausing the foot rub he had been offering his girlfriend.
Seeing SpongeBob's brow's furrow in a such a way that indicated seriousness, she questioned, "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," he answered quickly, too quickly. He looked at her, smiling reassuringly, "It's nothing, seriously Sandy, I'm just a little smeckledorfed by this 'endorphins' thingy. Is it...a," he crawled over to her on the bed Sandy lay in. "Is it something you think is truly true?"
"Well, I'm a scientist, SpongeBob. Me and science are kinda on the same wave length on many subjects."
He frowned, deeply disturbed and very, very curious by the concept of endorphins.
"So when we kiss, you think the only reason it feels heavenly is because of the endorphins?"
Sandy noted the words, 'you' and 'reason' as the only two words SpongeBob empathised loudly.
"I guess so, unless..." she paused to look at the recent determination in his eyes, and the travel he made from the foot of her bed to the head where she was. He was close, so dang near. His expression lead her to analyse, think, smirk, tease and lean up on her elbows. "unless you're willing to prove 'em wrong, science that is."
Licking his spongy lips there was a grin as he said, "Oh, I will ," he placed his bubble helmet on the bedside table, drawing closer to capture her mouth with his own.
4 Bubbles
From childhood, she thought bubbles were fascinating and fun. From experience, she discovered bubbles to be sadly temporary. From science, she learned that bubble were just, and only just a globule substance of gas in a liquid. But from SpongeBob, from a special spongy sponge, she thought, discovered and learned that bubbles could be and usually were: mysterious, flattering and ridiculously revealing. Seriously, they didn't call her the 'most intelligent critter under the sea' for nothing! With the letter "I" in bubbly form in her room, and the letter "you" in her bathroom, alongside the heart shaped bubble in her kitchen, she pretty much figured out the bubbly message.
"Looks like I'd better head to the store down the road and blow my own bubbly messages for him."
5 True Love
I've recognised the four big signs in me, but not from her. I know now for sure that though it's: real, exciting, scary and so much to take in...it isn't true love. True love requires two people, two people to be into each other and I don't have that.
Have I been smeckledorfed?
I've wondered if I could, but that would mean telling her? And telling her, actually talking to her seriously means looking into those chocolate orbs,with long lashes and I...Gosh, I can't tell Sandy yet! I shouldn't tell Sandy! But...Mr. Krabs told me that sometimes in life, we have to jump in the deep end, and even though Larry taught me and Patrick how to swim – he didn't teach my heart! I don't know if it'll be able to take it if she rejected it.
6 Fall
When the green healthy leaves in her tree-dome went through their phase and turned into the warm colours of roasting red, yonderly yellow and orange orange, SpongeBob understood the reference deciduous which Sandy used for her trees, although she had dubbed it as, 'When mah tree goes through puberty,' it had been funny at the time, but not now. Not now when the signs were all interlinking with one another.
Autumn was here, and soon would be winter. And went meant when animals like Sandy went to go to sleep for the winter and that meant...it meant...Pre-hibernation week.
He loved the squirrel, he truly did, he'd do anything for, go to great lengths for his friend, but there was only so much his: feet, legs, torso, chest, arms, hands, head, eyes and not to forget his internal organs could take (his heart still has the brain trauma after all). Discarding the fact that SpongeBob being a sponge could easily grow back his limbs if they were destroyed like a star could – it hurt! Barnacles, did it hurt to swim with man eating clams, play extreme jack, cycle through a death trap and how could he forget finding the hay through the needle stack.
The squirrel was trying to kill him.
He accused her of that face to face and didn't let himself get persuaded like the previous years. She was seemingly upset and he would not let her fool him. No siree, he wouldn't! It didn't matter that she batted her eyes at him, placed her hand on his knee, toyed with his tie, made her lips so pout-y, whispered protection so sweetly in his ear so dang -
Well, at least he had health insurance, and it was true that he could grow limbs again he reasoned slightly sane and in love. Plus Gary even booked a special room for him at Weenie Hut General for the next two months.
7 School
The teacher slapped herself silly across the face, not yet believing what she was seeing. It was all too much. Too, too much. Once she inhaled and exhaled oxygen the brain desperately needed, she regained some control over herself, as her right hand rose and stopped the left one from slapping herself unconscious.
She gasped as she whispered, "He passed." it was as if she committed a crime. "Neptune's trousers, you passed."
She couldn't even look at him.
Her body trembled and shook, to the point where she cried. Ms. Puff cried. She cried and cried and cried tears of joy at the fact that she and the spongy driver were in one piece. Now, she didn't have to see her psychopathic therapist any more.
"Ms. Puff," he said gently, placing his hand on her shoulder, "are you so overwhelmed by me passing the test that you're crying in tears of joy, or are you still traumatised from the time when I drove beneath the earth and we ended up in the underworld meeting Hades."
She shuddered at the memory, wiping her tears away.
"No, it's the former, SpongeBob not the latter. I'm simply overwhelmed." she turned to him with red-coloured eyes. "You've failed your boating test over a million times now, and now you've passed. You have finally passed."
'But how did you?' was a dark thought. Her eyes widened. Her hands gripped his shoulders none too gently.
"You said you were gonna have someone give ya extra help, who was it?"
"How'd she do it?"
There was a hint of blush on his cheeks. His eyes almost closed in memory
"What techniques did she use to teach?"
His flush spread all over his face. His eyes did close in a long, euphoric memory.
"How effective were they?"
He took the deepest breath in the world.
"Was it enjoyab-"
"Ms. Puff!" he shouted accidentally, "Um, sorry for shouting and I'm sorry that I can't tell you the, er, lessons I undertook with Sandy. They're...they're private, very private."
Ms. Puff stopped the questions, but she did frown. She'd get to the bottom of this. After dealing with a pupil like him, tonight, she would head down to the tree-dome and ask Ms. Cheeks how her revolutionary driving school handled and taught a sponge like him willingly.
