"...I just can't feel whatever you're trying to paint, Yukina." Professor Yamada said bluntly. Professor Yamada is one of the arts director in T University, the school I, Yukina Kou attends to. He's a tall man with slick back hair, sharp eyes and dressed casually. He gives off an imitating vibe. Although his voice is deep, it's calm. "The prompt of this final is about personal feelings. What you painted here is certainly interesting, but-" He pointed, "Right here. It's muddy, it's ugly. To me it looks like you didn't know to present your feelings, so you gave up here." He said.

I stayed silent as I just looked at my paint, trying to understand what my Professor means as he continued to lecture me about my final. "You're lucky I'm allowing students to retake their exam...You need it." He took a glance at me, then back at my painting. I think he saw that I looked troubled because he sighed and gave me a pat on the back. "You're a good artist when you put your mind into it. But I feel like painting is more of a hobby for you rather than you bring serious about being an artist. I hope to see that in your next painting." Professor Yamada stated and left the room.

Silence filled the room after he left. My friends tried to comfort me, but I just stayed quiet and continued to look at my painting more and more, thinking about what he said. The word Ugly, echo my head along with him saying I'm not serious about doing art for a living.

"But I am serious..." I mumbled to myself, feeling defeated.


After getting through my classes and saying goodbye to my friends, I pulled out my phone and started a message to send out to my one and only lover.

To: Kisa Shouta
From: Yukina Kou
Sub: Hello

School was troublesome today ~-~ But I managed though! What time are you off Kisa-san? I really wanna see you. I miss you.

I clicked send and closed my phone, followed by a sigh. He's probably busy again. Don't get me wrong, I understand how busy and hardworking Kisa-san is doing at work, but I admit I do get sad that I can't always see him or get fast responses from him. I miss him. I want to hug him. I want to touch him...I want to see him right now...Especially after receiving that feedback from my professor. I'm questioning a lot about my passion for art. Am I good enough?

I trust that Professor Yamada is an amazing artist. Hell, he is. His artwork has been showed off in many art galleries and sold off many of his pieces. I think back to what he said about showing how serious I am of being an artist through my work.

I don't know how though and that's what frustrating.

My phone went off. I opened my phone and surprised to see Kisa-san replied to me!

To: Yukina Kou
From: Kisa Shouta
Sub: Re: Hello

Actually I'm off soon. Do you want to grab lunch?

I smiled, about to respond back immediately until I revived another message from Kisa-san.

To: Yukina Kou
From: Kisa Shouta
Sub: I'm not saying this again...

I miss you too.

My heart pounded after reading just those 4 words and automatically I feel better. I quickly responded "Yes, of course!". I continued to smile like a fool as I quickly rushed to meet Kisa-san.


We grabbed lunch at this cozy cafe that was near his apartment. It was delicious. We both ordered coffee and a light meal to go with it. Kisa-san looked exhausted. "How was work?" I asked.

Kisa took a sip from his cup of coffee before giving me his response. He groaned, "Long. The next volume for White Strawberry is suppose to be released at the end of this month, but the author has been stressing over her new upcoming series which is something she shouldn't be worrying about right now." He sighed.

My eyes lit up when I heard the news. "Wow, so she's making a new series?! I'm so excited already." I noticed Kisa-san blushing after showing him my smile and he turned away, shy. "Yeah...it's going to be good. She's also planning to make an art book since so many fans have asked."

I was impress, but then I looked down in my cup of coffee, feeling a bit down. "Of course, her work is beautiful after all. And it's amazing because you edit her books!" I complimented him. He blushed harder and gave me a small smile. "Eh I guess." Heh. He's so cute.

But I feel complex. I thought about what happen this morning again and frowned. "Kisa-san, can I ask you something?" He looked worried, looked at me and gave me his full attention. "How did you know you wanted to become an editor?" I asked, looking at him in the eyes, waiting to see his response. He was a bit taken back by that question. There was silence for a bit before he responded.

"I didn't know." Confused by that sentence, I listened carefully what he meant as he continued. "I didn't really know what I wanted to do in life. All I knew was I liked reading, I liked reading manga and I'm not that bad at editing when it comes to books. I understand marketing and partnerships. So I thought, why not work as an editor? Sure I wasn't amazing, even till this day I'm not good compared to my boss. But..." He fidgeted with his hands and smirked. "After trying it out, I learned I enjoyed it. It's a pain the fucking ass and drains my energy but, I enjoy it and it's something I'm serious about."

So Kisa-san didn't even know he was passionate about editing till he tried it out. Do I feel that...Am I an artist? Am I good enough? I kept repeating and repeating those questions.

"-Yukina!" Kisa-san said, loud enough to break my train of thoughts. I quickly came back to reality, feeling slightly embarrassed for not responding earlier. "Oh I'm sorry, what is it?" I asked laughing nervously.

"I said why do you ask? Is everything okay? You mentioned in your text earlier that school was troublesome. What does that mean?"

Kisa-san looked worried. I smiled. "Sorry, I'm just a little stressed out because I have my final exam and I'm just trying to figure out what to draw." I replied. Kisa-san raised an eyebrow, suspicious by that response. He just sighed after a few seconds staring me down. "Okay...But that doesn't answer my question why you asked me how I decided to choose this career."

"I was just curious." I smiled, reassuring Kisa-san that I'm okay and there's nothing wrong...even though I know that's a lie.


At the end of lunch, we had to say goodbye for now because my work called and asked if I can come in and Kisa-san received a call from his work to come in for a last minute meeting.

The entire time I was working, I felt lost. After work, I walked to my apartment and began to sketch out some ideas for my final. But they would end up scratched up, crumbled up, or thrown away; papers scattered around my room. I laid flat out on my bed, feeling completely hopeless and defeated. I grabbed my phone and looked at the photos I took of my paintings that people loved the most since we're not allowed to have them back until we graduate.

All of the work that people love, most people say they're beautiful and sometimes erotic. Looking back at my work, I feel proud of myself for coming up with beautiful and moving pieces. But now I'm graduating. I've been lectured from Professor Yamada many times before and he has a lot of expectations for me and after what he said, I just can't really believe I'm good enough to be an artist. I know I should think positive like usually, but when the end is coming, it makes you think.

I just wanna see Kisa-san so badly. He makes me feel so good about myself. I wanna tell him how I feel, but I don't want to worry him when he's already tired and worried about his own work. That's right...Kisa-san is an adult. More mature than me. He's doing something he loves because he's good at it.

I covered my face with my hands. "Such ugly artwork..." I said to myself. I'm not that bright and cheerful as people think I am. I feel myself starting to cry. I'm getting to negative...Then there was a knock on my door. I jolted by the sudden sound I received at my door. I dried my eyes and went to answer the door. My face lit up and I quickly gave Kisa-san a tight hug after seeing him then pulled him inside before he could even say anything.

I pulled away from the hug. "I didn't know you were coming Kisa-san! I'm so happy!" I said with joy.

He blushed, "Well I just couldn't wait to see you..." His blush faded and looked at me with a serious look. "Plus you didn't seem okay today. I was worried."

Ah, there it is. Of course Kisa-san would know something is up. He knows me too well. I frowned and started to tear up. Ugh, how embarrassing. I'm crying in front of Kisa-san. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I responded by wrapping my arms around him. I buried my face into his shoulder, sobbing from all the stress and negative thoughts I've been dealing with today.

"I'm not good enough." I said softly. Kisa-san just continued to hug me, listening and being patient for my response. "My professor didn't know what I was trying to do for this piece I created and also said if I'm serious about being an artist, I must show it in my artwork. So all day, I've just been stress and doubting myself. Telling myself I'm not good enough, my work is ugly, that I'm not serious about being an artist and that got me confused of what I want to do and who I am." I continued to ramble about everything to Kisa-san. We pulled away from the hug and went to my room where he saw my drawings. I continued to talk to as he just sat there and listen to me the entire time.

After ranting, my heart felt so light and I'm relived. But Kisa-san didn't say anything yet. He picked up a few of the rejected drawings I drew earlier that were scattered around my room and carefully looked at them. I felt nervous. He hasn't said anything yet. Then, he sighed.

"You idiot." He said. I blinked my eyes a few times, confused. "W-what do you mean?" I questioned.

"I mean you're an idiot!" He shouted. He showed me the drawings he was looking at. "These are beautiful Yukina. Wonderful pieces of artwork that moves me and inspired me." He grabbed my hands and looked straight at me in the eyes. "It's always okay to doubt every now and then. You're still young, there's still time to figure out the kind of artist you want to be and that fits you. I've seen your work and they are beautiful. There was this one piece that made me tear up for no reason, but that's just how moved I was. Now stop being a fucking idiot and start realizing your art piece represents you. They're beautiful, like you."

My face was getting hot. I can feel myself blushing from Kisa-san statement and I was certainly moved. "Kisa-san, you're so romantic." I said referring to that last line. Kisa-san realized what he said and began to blush madly. He charged for my bed and hid under my covers. "Shut up!" He shouted from under the sheets. There was silence for bit until he said, "Also, stop worrying about how adult I am. Even people at my age struggle so please...don't be afraid to open up." He said in a sincere tone.

I smiled to myself and went over to the big lump on my bed. I rested my hand over his back. "Thank you. I love you Kisa-san." And I kissed his head outside of the sheets.

"...Kiss me properly at least and not the sheets...you big dummy." He said. I smiled and pulled off the blankets from him, reveling a shy Kisa whose face is still red, but eyes telling me he wants me. I love him so much.


3rd POV

Professor Yamada was looking through his students work that was turned in for the final exam. Either rejecting or accepting them, then emailing his students their final grade. Finally, he reached Yukina Kou piece. One of his best and artistic students. After giving Yukina his feedback, he worried that he would be stress a lot and wouldn't bring good results.

He was worried for nothing.

He smiled. It was an oil painting of a young man with black hair smiling with colors of red, orange and yellow as the background color. He looked at what Yukina titled it. Professor Yamada was dazed by the title. Beautiful Like You. He gave the painting one last look before sending an email to Yukina that he passed.


Thanks for reading! Sorry for the grammars and such. I'm rusty since I haven't wrote in a long time. If you couldn't tell, the painting was of Kisa Shouta. Let me know your thoughts on this story and if you want more stories related to these couples.