Bozhe moy, I have to figure out how to get out of here unseen. I have to! Maybe I can mix in with the passersby. The Russian noticed then that the next few groups in sight were all women. Chyort! This situation is becoming desperate! If they see me, I am lost.

He ducked into a room and saw a coat and hat tossed casually over a chair. He tucked as much of his hair under the hat as he could and pulled it down low to cover his face. The coat was a little big on his shoulders, but he was pleased to see that the length was past his knees. He was certain his pursuers had split up to find him. He was confident that he could easily elude one of them, but all three, even in this maze – like building, was going to be a daunting task.

He opened the door a crack and glanced quickly left and right. Good. He stepped back out into the hallway, ducked his head down, hunched his shoulders and moved purposefully to a stairwell door. Finding it unlocked, he slipped through and began to silently glide down. If I recall from the blueprints, two levels down is an exit to the street. The sound of a door opening from somewhere above him caused him to pick up some speed.

He snatched open the stairwell door, poised to dash to the exit when he saw the back of one of his hunters. He turned around and began to walk in the opposite direction. There is another exit this way; if it is covered, there is an emergency exit I will use. The alarm will sound, but by then, I will be outside and better able to make my escape. Oh nyet, nyet, nyet! The second exit is also under surveillance! Turning sharply to his right, he walked fast toward the emergency exit. I will hit the door running; by the time they get there, I should be at least a block away.

Just as he began to pick up speed, a woman stepped out from behind some boxes stacked next to a supply closet. "Going somewhere, Darling?"

Skidding to a stop he said, "April! I, I…," he let his voice trail off as he knew nothing he said would sound remotely plausible or believable. Slumping against the wall in defeat, he just glared as she pulled out her communicator.

"Open Channel S. Napoleon, I found him. Yes, exactly where you thought he would make the break. We'll meet you and Mark in Reception. Dancer out." Disassembling her device and replacing into her purse she purred, "Will you be coming quietly, Darling, or must I dart you?"

Napoleon knows me too well, he thought as he meekly pushed away from the wall and fell in step beside his fellow agent.

"Honestly, Illya, the way you're acting one would think you were being taken to the firing squad instead of out to dinner for your birthday. Napoleon was right; he said we would have to trap you into going."

They ran into Mark and Napoleon just outside Reception. "Partner Mine," Napoleon said as he clapped the smaller man on the shoulder, "I told these two the best way to out – maneuver you is to pretend it's a chess game and think five moves ahead of you. We put our heads together and voila! Checkmate!"

"Illya, mate," Mark chimed in, "I always thought a free meal was like catnip to you. Wot was this all about, eh?"

"I am not used to having my birthday celebrated. It is not necessary."

Napoleon laughed as he led the way out of Del Floria's and into an UNCLE taxi. "Of course it's not necessary! It's fun. You are in America and doing something for fun is something you will just have to learn to do. The four of us are unique: We're agents and we're friends. Against all odds, you have lived to see another birthday and that is cause for celebration. Even if you don't completely feel it, don't deprive us of an opportunity to eat and drink and have a little fun."

Illya looked like he was going to argue, but sighed instead. After a moment he grinned at his companions and reasoned, "Given that logic, it would be selfish of me to not do this, da?"

April reached over and squeezed his knee. "Da."

The Russian smiled full – on and replied, "Then let us enjoy our evening and have…fun."