AN: okie dokie, this is sorta for a challenge but I read the challenge ages ago and forgot who set it so…anyway it's based on "In the End" by Linkin Park but you really don't need to have heard the song. The only thing you need to know to understand it is that Yuki, Kyo and Shigure have all died in a mysterious house fire. Tohru was out. Yeah so please don't be too sad!

Dear Tohru,

How are you? Haven't seen you in a while. You haven't been at school. You should go back. Yuki would want you to, Kyo would just want you to be happy. Sensei, well I guess he would say something like, "The world is being deprived of a beauty! It's wrong! Wrong!" Yeah, he would.

I'm writing this letter with one thing in mind though. To tell you everything I know because someone has to know.

It's been two months, two whole months since it happened. I'm so weak I can't even say what 'It' is. Sorry. It's weird to think I haven't seen you in two months, I haven't seen any of you. Time just moves on, it's so unreal. I tried. You have to believe me when I sat I tried to hold on and live with just memories. We all tried so hard but in the end you left, they left, it was a wasted effort. He won.

After the funeral things changed. We all lost so much in that fire. Kagura and Rin have become very much like myself. We all just follow Akito living, no existing merely to serve Him None of us do anything Akito thinks is unnecessary. I guess we all just realised there is nothing else. Only Akito and our curse but Akito is a greater curse then even that of the Zodiacs, even that of the cat.

Kagura hasn't broken a thing To think her peaceful would be so scary. Ayame doesn't visit his store any more, his assistant runs it. I see him sometimes, visiting the main house. He just stares. He lost his brother and his best friend, how he even wakes up in the morning amazes me. He's not Aya anymore though. Long gone are his bright clothes and brighter smile. In fact the only smile I've seen these months is Akito's. That makes me sick.

Hatori has returned to the man he was after losing Kana. His work is the only thing that matters. He locked his study and never enters. His study is where all of Sensei's books are. Did you know there was a woman in his life? I found out while summoning him for Akito. I heard her shouting. She said she loved him and didn't want him to become so sad again. She said she didn't want Akito to ruin him again. He told her to leave. She did. It was your teacher, Miss Mayu

Hiro and Kisa are too young to interest Akito for long but ever since the fire Hiro has avoided Kisa again. He treats everyone so condescendingly and goes on about how it's all "that females fault". He hates you. I'm sorry, he's just a child and Akito messes with his head. Kisa cries a lot but still talks. Akito told her if she stopped He'd hurt you.

You weren't at the Wake were you? Master Kazuma attacked Akito. He was so angry. He screamed that Akito had murdered his son. He swore revenge. He was predictably stopped. Akito had him committed; claiming losing his foster child had sent him insane. Master Kazuma is not insane. At least he has Ri-chan for company. He had a breakdown after Akito hinted it was his fault, that he had somehow caused the fire, and that he had caused so much grief to the girl who had been so kind. I almost cried when that happened because Akito is using you to get at the Zodiacs. How could He?

Last is Momiji, innocent, pure Momiji. I wish he didn't have to hear everyday that his mother hates him. He stopped playing violin and won't even let us mention his family, even refusing to see his father. He wants so badly to protect Momo and his mum.

If Akito asks you, which he might, tell him, despite the way he always mocked me and controlled me like I was merely property tell Him I wasn't. You see Tohru I'm leaving this house the only way I can. I'm going to end my life. I'm so sorry, I am. If you ever meet the next Ox apologise for me. Tell him or her that I'm sorry I was too weak to keep going, I'm sorry for handing on this curse.

I'm begging you, as a last request, never have anything to do with the Sohma's again. It's just things aren't like they were before. There is no hope. You wouldn't even recognize me anymore. Everyone will think this is over Yuki but it's not. It's over Kyo. When Kyo died he took black Haru with him and I can't live without black Haru. I can't release these feelings trapped inside. I can't go on with it eating away at me. I guess this letter comes back to me. For all I've written there's only one things you should know. I put my faith in you Tohru. I tried so hard and I'd gotten so far but…

My faith is still with you. Good bye I'm going now.

All my love because I can't take it with me.

Hatsuharu Sohma, Ox

Tohru's cousin watched as Tohru read the letter. She watched the tears form in the younger girls eyes.

"Tohru what is it?" she asked annoyed.

Tohri looked at her cousin, "no!" she whispered then took off. She ran and ran. She didn't notice she hadn't put on a jacket against the early Winter or that she was still in her slippers. She just ran Maybe it wasn't too late. Haru couldn't be… she stopped. Black cars were outside the Sohma estate. These unfamiliar and unfamiliar faces getting out were mourning black and sad expressions.

"No.." she whimpered, "Haru…"

Even after the Sohma's had retreated into their inner sanctum for the wake. Tohru stood there in disbelief. Finally she started to walk back. Her aunt found her halfway home

"Tohru! Thank-god! We were so worried! Where were you? What happened?" she asked embracing the girl but Tohru was stiff, her eyes full of tears. She could feel Haru's letter still clutched in her hand, 'I tried so hard and got so far but-" the thought of Haru's words

"Tohru say something!"

"In the end" she wept, "it didn't even matter"

Fin