(Author's note: I thought it would be cool to incorporate some dialog in Icelandic in this story. I am not a native speaker of that language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)
Hallgrim Ørn Hallgrimsson walked back to his apartment alone on this chilly winter night in Copenhagen. It was Christmas Eve. The streets were disserted; everyone was with their families or out of town on vacation. He didn't have enough time off to visit his family in Iceland; he and his team had just cracked a big smuggling case and put a number of the ring leaders in jail. But now he returned home alone. Having no one close in his life to share his accomplishments with made them seem empty somehow.
While he appeared to exhibit a blithe disregard for their feelings, he deeply regretted how he had treated Marie and Frida in the pursuit of his own self-gratification. He knew at the time that what he was doing was wrong, but he did it anyways. He justified it to himself by blaming his fractured state of mind and tortured soul for the impulsive decisions he made. He hid behind these excuses for a while. But as time passed, his mistakes became more obvious to him and no amount of mental gymnastics or self-deception could justify it any longer.
He had wanted to travel to Stockholm to see his son, but Frida left town over the holidays and didn't tell him where she was going. She was clearly trying to avoid a visit from him. It would have brought back painful memories for her. Bit by bit, Hallgrim's son was growing up without his father. Hallgrim tried to make time to go to Stockholm and visit but was always so busy managing multiple cases simultaneously that he never found the time. He kept promising himself that he would just wrap up the current set of cases and take a long vacation with his son, but it kept getting postponed.
Hallgrim arrived at his apartment, ate dinner, and continued reading case files at his desk. After working for several hours, he began to feel a little tired. He decided to take a short break and poured himself a glass of whiskey. With the glass in hand, he sat back down at his desk and took a gulp. Then he reclined back in his chair, closed his eyes, and held the bridge of his nose as if trying to relieve a pounding headache.
As Hallgrim relaxed, a lithe angelic figure appeared before him and spoke,
"Ertu aleinn jafnvel á þessum degi? (Are you alone even on this day?)"
He moved his hand from his face and opened his eyes to see who it was.
Her hair was a blondish almost silvery color. The locks draped her face and were contrasted starkly by her ocean blue eyes which seemed to hold a vast expanse behind them. Hallgrim recognized her immediately. Ever since he first cast his gaze on her all those years ago in Iceland, her demeanor made an indelible impression on him.
Yet at this very moment, she seemed like some sort of ice goddess. She was dressed in blue. The color matched her eyes and provided a perfect contrast to her light skin tone and blond hair. She had an uncharacteristically emotionless stare and a cold facial expression.
He called out her name,
"Ísbjörg"
This elicited no response from her.
"Eftir að ég mætti draugnum Nazims, ég hélt að ég myndi aldrei sjá þig aftur. (After I met Nazim's ghost, I thought I'd never see you again.)" – Hallgrim
"Ertu orðinn leiður á mér? (Gotten sick of me?)" Isbjørg asked as she cracked a faint smile.
"Nei (No)" Hallgrim chuckled slightly after he answered.
"Nei, ég er byrjaður að sakna þín. (No. I was starting to miss you.)" – Hallgrim
"Geturðu ekki eytt fríinu með syni þínum? (Can't you spend your vacation with your son?)" Isbjørg asked a question to which they both knew the answer.
"Ég veit ekki hvar þau eru. (I don't know where they are.)" – Hallgrim
"Hún hefur fengið nóg af bullinu í þér. Ég get ekki áfellst hana fyrir að vera reið. (She's had enough of your bull. I can't blame her for being angry.)" – Isbjørg
Hallgrim's smile slowly disappeared. He started to get a little angry after that last comment.
"Komstu hingað bara til að dæma um mig? (Did you just come here to judge me?)" – Hallgrim
She slowly shook her head.
"Þú virtist vera dapur. (You seemed sad.)" – Isbjørg
"Þess vegna komst þú. (And so you came.)" – Hallgrim
She nodded.
"Já, ég er aleinn. Ég hef ýtt öllum frá mér. (Yes, I'm alone. I've push everyone away.)" Hallgrim admitted as if he were coming clean to a priest in a confessional.
"Þú átt það skilið. (You deserve it.)" Isbjørg said in a very cold and uncaring manner.
This wasn't the response that he expected from her. Up to now she had always been effulgent, but this time was different; he could sense some resentment in her intonation.
"Ertu reið við mig? (Are you angry with me?)" – Hallgrim
"Nei. (No.)" – Isbjørg
"Ertu viss? Mér sýnist það. (Are you sure? It seems like it.)" – Hallgrim
She didn't respond immediately. Instead, she looked down at the floor for a moment. Then her eyes darted back up to meet his. Her gaze pierced through the space separating them.
"Þú minnir mig á hann. (You remind me of him.)" – Isbjørg
Hallgrim easily guessed who she was talking about.
"Á hvern? Eigilsson? (Of who? Eigilsson?)" – Hallgrim
At the mere mention of his name, Isbjørg became irate. Her eyes widened in anger.
"Ég hataði þann mann, föður þinn. Sá maður svipti mig sjálfsvirðingunni. Ég hataði þig líka, soninn þess ógeðslega manns, af því að þú hafðir hugrekkið ekki til að bjarga mér eða vernda mig fyrir honum. Þú varst of huglaus. (I hated that man, your father. That man robbed me of my dignity. I hated you too, the son of that disgusting man, because you didn't have the courage to save me or protect me from him. You were too much of a coward.)" – Isbjørg
A tear rolled down her cheek.
Hallgrim was never one to show much emotion, especially in front of others. But right now, he found it difficult to keep himself together. Tears rolled down his cheeks as well.
"Ég óskaði þess að þið báðir færuð til fjandans. (I wished you'd both go to hell.)" – Isbjørg
He could see the rage in her eyes. He looked down at the floor for a moment, then back up to her.
"Aldu ennþá á óvild til mín? (Do you still hold a grudge against me?)" – Hallgrim
Her expression softened as she walked a few steps closer to him.
"Nei, þú varst bara strákur. Faðir þinn arðrændi okkur. Þú vissir ekki hvernig mér leið. Ég áttaði mig ekki einu sinni á þessu. Ég hef fyrirgefið þér, Hallgrími. (No, you were just a boy. Your father took advantage of us. You didn't know how I felt. I didn't even realize it. I've forgiven you, Hallgrim.)" – Isbjørg
By this point, her tears had dried, as had his.
"Ég hef aldrei komist yfir það. (I've never gotten over it.)" – Hallgrim
"Ef ég gæti ferðast aftur…(If I could go back…)" – Hallgrim
"Ég veit. (I know.)" Isbjørg said in a soothing voice as if trying to calm Hallgrim and reassure him that it wasn't his fault.
Hallgrim took another swig of his whiskey. After a second, he looked back up at her and couldn't help but admire her ethereal beauty. To him, she seemed perfect in every way. Yet her appearance now was very different from when he first met her.
Her countenance reflected a woman who was approaching the end of her youth and the beginning of middle age. It reflected a woman who was world-weary and had been made a cynic by her experiences in life. The pain of betrayal and abuse was evident in her eyes. Yet at the same time, he could still see the young girl he knew in Iceland all those years ago. A remnant of the innocence and happiness she had back then still remained.
But overall, her character had changed. To see this transformation in her, to see his first love become hardened by her experiences in life and inured to the nefarious ways and people of this world broke Hallgrim's heart. He knew there was nothing he could say to ease her pain. This realization only made his own pain and guilt that much worse.
He had never been one to voice his true feelings, but he felt that he had to tell her how much she meant to him. Something he realized in hindsight that he should have done long ago.
"Vissirðu að ég hafði alltaf vonað að við enduðum saman. (You know I had always hoped that we'd end up together.)" – Hallgrim
"Núna erum við saman vegna þess glæpamanns, sem drap mig í þeim Chicago lystigarði. (Now we are together thanks to that thug who killed me in that park in Chigago.)" Isbjørg replied in a slightly sarcastic tone.
Hallgrim looked down at his glass as if holding back more tears. Although she didn't show it, Isbjørg was equally moved by his confession and made one of her own.
"Eftir að ég dó, gæti ég hafið farið hvert sem er. En ég kom til að gæta þín. (After I died, I could have gone anywhere. But I came to look after you.)" – Isbjørg
"Hvers vegna? (Why?)" – Hallgrim
"Þrátt fyrir allt lít ég á þig sem einu sönnu ástina mína. Ég reyndi að gleyma þér, en ég gat ekki. (In spite of everything, I consider you to be my one true love. I tried to forget you, but I couldn't.)" – Isbjørg
Hallgrim stood up and walked over to her. They embraced and he whispered in her ear,
"Ég hef aldrei elskað neina meira en þig. (I've never loved anyone more than you.)" – Hallgrim
They gently broke the embrace. He looked at her and asked,
"Ætlarðu að hverfa eftir augnablik, eins og venjulega? (Are you gonna vanish in a second, like usual?) – Hallgrim
"Ekki í þetta sinn. Ég mun vera hér eins lengi og þú vilt. (Not this time. I'll stay as long as you want.)" – Isbjørg
"Ég er glaður. (I'm glad.)" – Hallgrim
Feeling physically and emotionally drained, Hallgrim walked over to his bed and lied down.
"Mér finnst eins og ég hafi ekki sofið í marga daga. (I feel like I haven't slept in days.)" – Hallgrim
She lied down beside him and wrapped her arm around him. He held her close. He could feel her body but not her warmth. Even though he held her, it didn't feel to him like she was something tangible. It felt like seeing someone in a dream.
"Ég minnist enn fyrsta skiptisins sem við héldumst í hendur og kysstumst fyrir öllum þessum árum. (I still remember the first time we held hands and kissed all those years ago.)" – Hallgrim
This brought a wide smile to her face for the first time since she came.
"Já, ég man líka eftir þeim dögum. (Yeah, I remember those days too.)" – Isbjørg
"Á þessum tíma langaði mig bara fara úr Íslandi og hefja nýtt líf á öðrum stað. (Back then I just wanted to leave Iceland and start a new life somewhere else.)" – Hallgrim
"Nú vildi ég að ég gæti farið aftur og notið þeirra daga aðeins meira. (Now I wish I could go back and enjoy those days a little more.)" – Hallgrim
"Ég vildi að ég gæti fundið hlýjuna þína…snertinguna handarinnar þinnar við mína. (I wish I could feel your warmth…the touch of your hand against mine.)" – Hallgrim
As Hallgrim closed his eyes, Isbjørg weaved her fingers through his short blond hair.
"Um hvað ertu að hugsa, Hallgrímur? (What are you thinking about, Hallgrim?)" – Isbjørg
He smiled, and then chuckled.
"Ég er að ímynda mér að ég sé örn sem flýgur yfir landslagið. (I'm imagining that I'm an eagle flying over the landscape.)" – Hallgrim
"Yfir fjöllin, jöklana, fossana, árnar, akrana, firðina… (Over the mountains, the glaciers, the waterfalls, the rivers, the fields, the fjords…)" Hallgrim trailed off.
The weight of his sleepless nights was coming down hard on him right now. He could feel that his eyes were blood shot. The dark circles under his eyes felt heavy. He also had a splitting headache that would not abate.
"Ertu með mér? (Are you with me?)" – Hallgrim
"Já, ég er að fljúga hjá þér. (Yes, I'm flying beside you.)" – Isbjørg
The eagle looks to its left and sees an ivory gull flying beside him, covered in feathers of the most perfect shade of white.
He opened his eyes, turned his head to the side, and looked into Isbjørg's eyes. He was mesmerized by her appearance as she returned his gaze, her eyes glinted like stars.
"Ertu andinn Ísbjargar virkilega eða bara ímyndun mín? (Are you really Isbjørg's spirit or merely a figment of my imagination?)" – Hallgrim
"Hvað finnst þér? (What do you think?)" – Isbjørg
"Kannski vil ég ekki vita svarið. Ég mun velja að halda að þú sért andinn hennar. (Maybe I don't want to know the answer. I'll choose to believe that you're her spirit.)" – Hallgrim
Isbjørg smiled.
Hallgrim closed his eyes.
The eagle and the gull soared above the land together and approached the ocean.
Just as Hallgrim was about to doze off, he suddenly came to and opened his eyes fearful that if he lost consciousness, Isbjørg might disappear on him.
And she had.
Isbjørg was gone and he was alone in the apartment once again. The emptiness of the place suddenly weighed on him. The silence was deafening. He feared that the whole encounter with Isbjørg just now was nothing more than his imagination. A sinking feeling overcame him; it was painful being so alone in the world and sometimes on nights like this, he began to wonder if living was even worth it.
"Ég sakna þín svona mikið, Ísbjargar. (I miss you so much, Isbjørg.)" Hallgrim said softly to himself.
He lied back down to go to sleep.
After closing his eyes, he heard Isbjørg's voice speak to him,
"Ég mun alltaf vera með þér, Hallgrími. Ég mun aldrei yfirgefa þig. (I will always be with you, Hallgrim. I will never leave you.)" – Isbjørg
For the first time since he last saw her alive, he felt her warmth. It surrounded him as if to convey her love and to keep the evil spirits away. It brought a smile to Hallgrim's face. Feeling content with the knowledge that her spirit was with him, he drifted off into a peaceful sleep, but not before mumbling something to himself,
"Ég elska þig, Ísbjörgu. (I love you, Isbjørg.)" – Hallgrim
