So, I was one of the lucky ones in my area. I didn't lose power (read: internet)!
This is the last crack!fic I think. Anyway, the usual: OOC Nordics and weirdness in general. This was written for a contest by the FEP-ers over on youtube (look up Hetalia: The Nordics – they're really good cosplayers!). It's a comedy. And a few of their scenes in their videos are referenced here.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. It's sad, really.
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Every nation knows that eventually, every country will have a time of insanity. Such moments are: Russia during the Soviet Union; Germany during World War II; Norway, Denmark, and Sweden during the Viking era; Denmark during the Kalmar Union; the list goes on and on …
And so Norway, Denmark, and Sweden, years after Iceland's independence, started preparing themselves for said nation to go insane. It had to be him next, in their eyes. I believe the conversation went something like this:
"It's been too long, you guys. One of us is going insane next." (Sweden)
"Could it be Finland? He was with Russia for a while …" (Norway)
"No way it's Finland! He's too sweet! But Iceland has been plotting to kill me for years …!" (Denmark)
"That's true."
"He's such a troll."
"He comes out of freaking nowhere! No. Where!"
And so they forgot all about Finland and started keeping an eye on Iceland. Where was Finland in this? He had no idea this was taking place, because he's the only sane Nordic nation. Except when Russia tramples his flowers. Then he's just as crazy as everyone else.
The three nations that made up Scandinavia followed Iceland everywhere he went. They were ready to take him down before he could ever reach power. And so they waited …
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Iceland sat at a bench, calmly reading a book. He hummed quietly to himself, smiling in that innocent way of his. He was completely unaware of three pairs of eyes watching him from the bushes:
"Any minute now …" (Sweden)
"We'll tackle him the moment he jumps up." (Norway)
"No way is he getting into power!" (Denmark … shouting. Like the idiot he is)
Sweden and Norway stared at him and shushed him angrily. Sweden pushed him to get him to be quiet (why did he think this was a good idea? No clue…) and Denmark fell into the open with a loud, "OW! Sweden, you fu-"
Iceland looked up from the book and frowned.
Norway covered Denmark's mouth and dragged him back behind the bushes, just as Iceland looked behind him. Seeing nothing, Iceland shrugged and continued reading.
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…and waited…
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Iceland walked down the street, listening to the new song on his iPod. He 'danced' … aka, he flailed his limbs around and kind of bounced as he walked … It scarred many a passersby for life.
As Iceland passed a corner, Sweden watched from his hiding spot. He lifted a walkie-talkie to his lips and said, "Norway! He's headed your way! He looks like he's in deep thought ..."
Iceland kept dancing. He passed a man holding a newspaper over his face. Said man was Norway. As soon as Iceland passed by, he spoke into his walkie-talkie, "Denmark! He's definitely plotting world domination! Don't let him out of your sight!"
Iceland kept dancing his way down the street. Denmark didn't have a hiding place. Seeing Iceland nearing him, he panicked and hid behind a nearby telephone pole. Poorly. Somehow, Iceland didn't see him.
"He's going to kill us all for sure!" Denmark wailed into the walkie-talkie … A bit too loudly, for Iceland (somehow) heard him and turned. Denmark froze. Smiled nervously. Then took off down the street, screaming incoherently. Iceland tilted his head, confused, before shrugging and dancing on.
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…and waited…
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Iceland sat beneath a tree. Just sat. And stared. It was actually kind of creepy. Norway, Denmark, and Sweden hid behind the other side of the same tree, keeping an eye on Iceland. Well, more like they slumped dejectedly against the tree.
"Maybe it isn't one of us this year?" (Sweden)
"Don't be silly; it's been too long." (Norway)
"He's gonna kill us in our sleep!" (Denmark)
Iceland didn't react.
He didn't move.
"Maybe you're right." (Norway)
"Yeah, it's not one of us." (Denmark)
"Definitely not." (Sweden)
Finland appeared out of nowhere. Now, just the fact that he came from thin air was enough to scare Norway, Denmark, and Sweden into screaming and holding onto each other for dear life (although Denmark will forever refuse to admit that he jumped into Norway's arms). However, to add to their fear, Finland had what seemed like blood – both new and old – smeared on his face. And hands. And uniform.
And he had a very pointy stick – with blood on it – in his hands.
They just stared at each other for a few moments. Finland was smiling innocently, although his face did have a darker tint to it. Norway, Denmark, and Sweden looked from the stick to Finland's face, and back and forth a few more times, until Norway broke the silence.
"Soooo …" He paused. "…It … was Finland's turn …"
And now, looking from the stick to Finland and back again, Denmark voiced their thoughts aloud:
"We're screwed."
Yes. The world is very, very screwed. And not just with each other.
Finland took a step forward, brandishing the stick threateningly. Norway, Denmark, and Sweden screamed in terror.
While there were screams and sounds of pounding and thumping on their side of the tree, Iceland took no notice of this.
Instead, he took out a piece of paper and a pen (from nowhere!). He spoke aloud as he wrote, "List of ways to take over the world."
And he smiled.
"This will be fun!"
