"You want me to do what?"
"You heard me, Jayne."
"Aw, but Mal -"
"Look. When you signed on to this crew, you agreed to obey my orders. I'm ordering you. So what's the problem?"
"Why can't Zoe do it?"
"Zoe's with me. We have to make this delivery so's we can get paid. Way I remember it, you've been mighty interested in us getting paid sometime soon. Seen fit to remind me of it every gorram day for a month."
"Don't you - don't you need me to make the delivery with you, too? To watch your backs, to -"
"No."
Jayne sulked.
"What about River?"
"Kuangzhe de! After she tried to run away last night? She's staying doped up in the infirmary til we break atmo. And before you ask, no, I'm not sending Kaylee. I need her to install that new compression coil, unless you'd rather we risk suffocation and death again?"
"How bout Shepherd Book?"
"Book ain't my crew. And even if he was, I wouldn't ask a Shepherd to do this. Inara ain't here and I need Wash waiting on the boat in case we need to leave quick." Mal leaned closer and spoke in an urgent undertone. "Trust me, Jayne. This boat won't be a happy place to live if you don't get this done."
Jayne scowled and cursed under his breath, and stomped away.
"I better be gettin' paid extra for this!"
"Go, Jayne."
And so it was that Jayne Cobb found himself in the local general store, his face red, his hat pulled down as far as it would go. Trying to ignore the smirks and stares and barely-held-back laughter he knew, just knew, were all around him.
Buying tampons.
