"Hey Dia, are you sure you don't want to go out to eat anywhere?" Chika asked her girlfriend who was lounging on the sofa watching a nature documentary on penguins.
"I'm sorry Chika, I just really don't feel like going anywhere today." Dia's voice was tired and apologetic. "This is my first day off in ages, I just want to relax."
"I know but all you've done today is sleep and watch your boring animal shows." Chika pouted.
"Again, I'm sorry, but I'm just tired. Why don't you go out and do something?" Dia's tone was growing testy.
"Well excuse me for wanting to spend some time with the girlfriend I rarely ever see anymore." Chika huffed as she stormed over to the fridge to pull out something to drink.
"Are we really doing this again Chika?" Dia got up and walked over to her.
"I'm not doing anything." Chika insisted as she took a sip of her juice. "You're the one who loves her job more than her girlfriend."
"Would you be happier if I quit? Just lounge around here all day like a damn freeter?" Dia shot back at her.
"I've told you I'm looking for work!" Chika raised her voice and glared at Dia. "I had a job interview yesterday and I have another tomorrow. Do you want me to just work at a convenience store instead?"
"At least you'd be contributing then." Dia scoffed. Chika fumed.
"I keep this place clean while you're gone all day!" she motioned around the apartment. "I cook you dinner which you're never on time for! And its not like I don't have anything saved up! And its not even like we're strapped for cash! We're doing just fine but you're convinced you need to work yourself to death anyway."
"Its not my fault Chika!" Before she realized it they were yelling at each other again. "I make good money, and everyone at my company depends on me. What am I supposed to do, just say no?"
"Yes! Say no! You used to be so good at saying that word, or was it only ever just to me?"
"What do you want from me Chika?"
"Apparently too much."
"Honestly Chika sometimes I don't even know why I'm with you." Though Dia couldn't deny those words were true, she instantly regretted saying them. Chika looked at her, hurt, but defiant.
"Finally there's something we can agree on." Chika replied solemnly, taking off the ring Dia had given her at Christmas a year ago and placing it on the counter. The two women grew quiet. Dia swallowed hard; her pride wouldn't allow her to just apologize like that.
"I'm going out." Chika finally said. "I think I'll start looking at apartments as well."
"Fine." was all Dia could manage to say.
"Then you can work yourself to death for all I care. You won't have to pretend to worry about anyone waiting up for you." Chika grabbed her jacket and walked towards the door.
"Go fuck yourself." the words felt like venom on her lips. Dia wanted to cry but refused to do so in front of Chika.
"I already do every day because someone else won't!"
"Don't expect me to come running after you, begging you to come back." Dia called out as Chika opened the door.
"As if I'd ever expect the proud and infallible Dia Kurosawa to do anything quite so human." Chika scowled as she slammed the door shut behind her, leaving Dia to cry alone in an apartment which suddenly felt strange and unfamiliar.
The two women refused to speak to each other later that night when Chika returned. They spent the remainder of the evening avoiding each other, with Chika staying in the bedroom for the most part until it was time to go to sleep. Dia nervously approached the bedroom, expecting another fight. But to her surprise Chika picked up a pillow and a sheet and walked out.
"It's your bed after all." was all Chika said as she hurried past her. Dia looked at the large, lonely bed.
"If you want…you can sleep with me tonight. That sofa won't be comfortable."
Chika stopped as if she were considering it, but continued on her way without a word.
Dia quietly crawled into bed, gripping the sheets tightly as she fought back yet more tears. The sheets smelled like Chika. If I could just be honest with Chika. If she would just listen or try to understand. Maybe I don't need to work so much. But so what if I do? Despite her heavy heart and busy head, it wasn't long before the exhausted Dia had fallen asleep.
Dia opened her eyes, it was dark, presumably the middle of the night. She felt a weight to her side, and something gripping her. Then she heard a sigh from behind her.
At some point Chika had crawled into bed with her. Dia smiled bitterly as she reached for one of Chika's hands and pulled it up near her face. She kissed Chika's fingers then laced her own between them.
"Are you awake, Chika?" she asked, not bothering to whisper.
"Yeah." Chika replied after a moment.
Dia wasn't sure what she should say.
"Its not that I missed you. The sofa was just uncomfortable and cold." Chika insisted, much more quietly adding "and you're so warm."
"It was lonely without you." Dia admitted. Chika blushed and was thankful that Dia couldn't see her. Then Dia asked, "Chika, what are we doing?"
"I don't know." Chika replied. The two laid there in silence, searching for the words they needed.
"I don't want to break up with you."
"Neither do I."
"But this isn't healthy. When was the last time a day went by without us fighting?"
"Probably when you'd come home and I was already asleep." Chika answered after thinking about it. "When was the last time we were actually happy together?"
"I don't know." Dia hadn't fully realized until just now how unhappy they'd become.
"Maybe we should break up." Chika said as she held Dia tighter.
"Maybe."
"But I don't want to."
"Do we have a choice?"
"We're not happy."
"Can we work this out?"
"I don't know."
"Do you still love me, Chika?" Dia asked apprehensively.
"I do. Do you still love me?"
"I do."
"Then we should be able to make it work." Chika kissed Dia's shoulder.
"Or we'll keep failing until we hate each other and our relationship is unsalvageable." Even in Chika's arms which always comforted her, Dia couldn't help but feel worried now. "We can't keep ignoring our problems and hoping they'll go away."
"Maybe you need a new job?" Chika shamelessly suggested.
"Maybe we need counseling." Dia suggested instead.
"That might be a good idea." Chika agreed.
Dia turned to face Chika. They held each other in their arms and kissed. "Will you stay, at least until then?" Dia asked. She ran a hand through Chika's hair as the younger woman buried her crying face into her neck.
"I want to stay forever."
