Moron Mountain, an attraction in space, was not doing very good financially due to less visitors overtime. The owner, Mr. Swackhammer, was curious as to why, and would do anything to make Moron Mountain popular.

"I don't know where we went wrong." Mr. Swackhammer said sitting in his office while he was smoking a cigar.

Mr. Swackhammer's minions, the Nerdlucks, were also in his office trying to come up with some way to help him, but they had nothing.

"There's gotta be somethin' we can do. But what!?" Mr. Swackhammer shouted as he banged his fist on his desk, but accidentally hit a remote which turned the many televisions on that were behind him.

"Asuka…"

Mr. Swackhammer heard a voice behind him. "Where did that come from?"

"Well you conveniently turned the TV on that led to a significant plot-point." Pound, the orange nurdluck, said.

Mr. Swackhammer turned around, and saw the opening scene from End of Evangelion on TV.

"What is this….."

"Asuka, wake up…This isn't funny anymore….."

Mr. Swackhammer and the Nerdlucks became curious, so they watched the entire movie.

When the movie ended, the Nerdlucks had a look that seemed like they were traumatized. Mr. Swackhammer, on the other hand, looked like he had a genius idea.

"I have an idea! We're gonna close down Moron Mountain and start our own TV Station called Moron Station! And you five are gonna go to Earth and kidnap the stars of that show and we'll have them in a soap opera! We'll make millions!"

"But Mr. Swackhammer" Bang, the green nerdluck, asked "This is just a television show, so they might not really be real people."

"Hey, quiet you! We just need some kinda motivation for this story, even if it is a shitty one!"

After the Nerdlucks heard that, they decided there was no arguing with that, and got in a space-ship that took them to Earth.

It was a slow day in NERV headquarters. No angels were attacking Tokyo 3, but Gendo Ikari seemed to expect an angel attack, so he made Shinji, Asuka, and Rei stay in NERV HQ.

"I don't get it." Shinji said. "Why are we even here? It's not like any angels are attacking or anything….."

"What are you, stupid?" Asuka said to Shinji. "A good Eva pilot has to be ready for angel attacks at all times!"

Makoto, Maya, and Shigeru had nothing to do, so they were just playing with playing cards out of boredom, but they found it odd how Geno didn't force them to be more focused on any possibly angel attacks.

"Commander Ikari, do you really think it's a good idea to have everybody here?" Ritsuko asked.

"Now, we don't want to lower our guard. An angel attack could happen at any minute."

Right after Gendo had spoken, a loud beeping noise came from the computer that Makoto, Maya, and Shigeru used.

"A detected life-form is entering the Earth's atmosphere!" Maya shouted "We don't have any indication of what it could be, but it's most likely an angel!"

"What did I tell you?" Gendo said while his mouth was covered with his fingers.

"But you don't have any indication it's an angel! It could be something else!" Misato shouted.

"Major Katsuragi, it doesn't seem likely it wouldn't be an angel seeing as how we've had two angels live in the Earth's orbit." Makoto said.

"I have a boner!" Shigeru yelled, but nobody seemed to care.

"It's headed straight fro Tokyo 3, but it doesn't seem large enough to destroy anything too important." Maya shouted.

"Major Katsuragi, it's most likely to be an angel since it's headed directly for Tokyo 3!"

"Commander Ikari, should we get the Eva pilots ready?" Misato asked Gendo.

Gendo was silent for a moment before giving an answer. "I think Katsuragi is right. It might not be an angel, so don't get the Eva pilots ready. Besides, judging by it's size, it can't be too much of a threat."

"Should we label it as an unidentified flying object?" Misato asked Gendo.

"Yes, I think we should."

"The unidentified flying object has crashed into directly in front of NERV headquarters!" Makoto yelled.

"How did it get here so quickly?" Misato yelled frantically.

"We spent too much time analyzing it that we didn't notice it was getting closer!"

"We can identify that the unidentified flying object was a machine, but it carried life forms on it!" Shigeru shouted. "Also, I have a boner!"

"The unidentified flying object isn't nearly the size of an Eva or most of the angels, so we don't need the Evas!"

"But what about the life-forms!?" Misato yelled as frantically as before.

"FREEZE!" A loud voice shouted, but nobody saw where it was coming from. Everybody looked around to see where it was coming from, but the voice made an "Ahem!" sound, and everybody looked down and saw the Nerdlurks.

"What the? What the hell are these things?" Ritsuko asked.

"Awwww!" They're so cute!" Misato said as she poked one of their cheeks.

"No, we are not cute! We are the Nerdlurks, and we are here to enslave you all!" Pound pointed a laser-gun at Misato. "Now, where are the ones you call Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami, and Asuka Langely?"

"…Why do you need them?"

"That's beside the point!" Ritsuko said. "They shouldn't even be here! Escort them out of here, immediately!"

"No, Dr. Akagi!" Gendo said, catching everybody's attention. "I say we should challenge them. If we win, we get to stay, but if they win, they have the right to enslave us."

"But Commander Ikari" Ritsuko was confused by Gendo's decision. "Why can't we just escort them out of NERV headquarters?"

"Because we need to have as much plot holes as the source material!"

Ritsuko sighed. "Well, all right Commander Ikari. What were you planning on challenging them to?"

"Well, this was a hobby of mine when I was young…" Gendo reached his hands under his desk, and pulled out a basketball.

"Basketball!?" Ritsuko was even more confused by Gendo's odd decisions. "Commander Ikari, of ALL the….."

"What did I say earlier, Dr. Akagi?"

"B…b….BASKETBALL!" Shinji said as he came to the realization he would have to play basketball. "B..b…b….I CAN'T PLAY BASKETBALL!"

"Stupid Shinji!" Asuka said snobbishly. "It's just basketball! It's not like we have to pilot the Evas to fight an angel or something!"

"Actually…" Misato said while scratching the back of her head.

"WHAT!? WE HAVE TO PILOT THE EVAS!?" Shinji whined. "BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO PLAY BASKETBALL!?"

"For whatever reason, Commander Ikari wants you to play basketball while piloting the Evas." Misato explained. "I don't get it either, but orders are orders."

"Playing basketball with the Evas? That is so stupid!" Asuka complained. "Weren't the Evas designed for combat?"

"Yes, but Commander Ikari has ordered that they will be reprogrammed to play basketball."

"But where are we even going to play basketball with the Evas?" Shinji wondered. "They're huge. And on top if that, where are we going to get a basketball THAT big?"

"Ikari has ordered for a basketball stadium specifically for Evas and angels to be constructed, and a giant basketball."

Shinji and Asuka were dumbfounded, but Rei had a blank expression on her face and simply stated "I understand".

"But we need five players per side for basketball, but there are only three of us." Asuka pointed out. "Where are we going to get the other two players?"

"NERV has sent a scout over to the United States to find new recruits for basketball. We've heard there are some very good basketball players there. But that is all for today. Shinji, Asuka, I'll drive you home in a moment. Rei, you should head home too."

"Wait, why do we even need the Evas?" Shinji asked. "The Nerdlurks are tiny."

"The Commander has ordered that we have as much plot-holes as the other source material."

"And also, why is NERV sending a scout out to America? I'm sure there are plenty of people in Japan who would be willing to pilot a basketball playing Eva."

"Like I said, the Commander really desires plot-holes for whatever reason."