A/N: Hey guys, this is a Kyman story and will be broken down into several chapters. I hope you enjoy this story. As a warning, this will be depressing. Thank you for your support.

Chapter 1

I sighed heavily as I entered my childhood room for what I anticipate to be the last time in my life. Everything still remained as it did when I left for college, the infamous Terrance and Phillip poster hung right above my lamp, the brown carpets with various stains all over it, and the purple walls from when my mother hoped I would turn out to be a little girl. She never allowed me to repaint it even when I threatened her relentlessly. Those were the true golden days.

I looked out the window and began to reflect what my next course of action was going to be, my mind racing with rampant, malicious thoughts. Was I really sure I wanted to go through with this? Was I willing to put my mother through this pain and hardship that I am dealing with every single day? Why was I not the one to die from an incurable disease? These questions spun around inside my head as I clutched on tight to Kyle's worn out hat. Hot tears spilled out of my eyes and I could no longer contain my frustration. I missed him with every fiber of my being and all I want is to hold him in my arms a little bit longer. No longer will I ever be able to look into his soft green eyes and tell him everything will be alright. Nothing is alright anymore, and even Kyle knew that as he drew in his last breath.

I took the gun underneath my pillow slowly, trying to take in fully of what I am going to do. I stared at it for a long time, making sure the bullets were inside. I closed my eyes and placed the gun into my mouth, seeing only images of Kyle. A flood of memories began to take over as I cry harder. I want to be with him. I need to be with him. I can not live without him. I place my finger on the trigger. It's now or never Cartman. Don't be a pussy this time. You can do it. Kill yourself.