FOUR

Loneliness. Despair. Fear. I run my hand through my hair trying to come to terms with what happened. Every night is the same routine; lay in bed for a couple of hours trying to fall asleep, take a sleeping pill, wake up in the middle of the night screaming. The pills aren't working anymore. Nothing is. She's gone. I'm alone.

"Sir, is everything alright?" I must have screamed if my guards are asking about me. The first nightmare was horrible. My complete private guard barged into my room. They must have though I was under attack. Now, years later, they know the drill. The question was more of a formality.

"Yes, all is well." Is it really? Is all really well? How easy has it become for me to lie now?

Too easy. I hide behind my power and command. If my followers knew who I really was…what I've really become over the years…

Four. Four fears. Confinement, heights, killing an innocent, and Marcus. The world used to believe those were the only things I feared. If only they knew about my fifth, about what it has been doing to me.

After the collapse of the faction experiments, everyone living in Chicago stayed where they were. The Bureau of Genetic Welfare tried to impose their government in Chicago, explaining that our ways were merely experimental and it was time for us to return to the rest of society. We rejected them. For once in Chicago's history, all the factions came together and ended their bickering.

The aptitude test was forgotten and everyone was allowed to choose which faction they would be a part of. The factions basically continued carrying out their old jobs. Dauntless became our army. Anything that required force, the Dauntless were trained to do it. Erudite became weapons technicians, scientists, architects, and intelligence agents. Abnegation's care for others made them perfect to become the medics and doctors of society. Candor became writers and reporters while Amity produced the food and farmed for everyone. All the factions needed to unite was a common cause. Now they had one.

I try rolling over and falling asleep again but I can't. Every time I shut my eyes I replay it in my head. Soon as everything goes dark I see Tris. Her body is there, all alone. She is dead. My worst fear had come true, and there was nothing I could do about it. The worst part was she had died alone. No one had been there for her. I wasn't even there to protect her. I failed her.

After finding her body, I locked myself away in my room. Everyone thought I was withering away, the depression crushing me. Six months later I came out stronger and more muscular than I had ever been. I pushed myself to my limits in my room during those six months. I fought my way to the top of Dauntless command and started speaking publicly to the other factions.

Two years later and things are finally coming together.

"Sir," my guards say as they knock on my door. "There's a small development on the east border. Your Generals are taking care of the task now and feel comfortable with the situation."

This is exactly what I've been waiting for. The Bureau has been making small attempts to recapture Chicago but nothing direct; small airstrikes, capturing civilians on the outskirts, and trying to stop our supplies coming from the Amity farms.

I had told the generals to notify me only when the true combat was starting to develop. I guess the time has finally arrived. "Perfect. Call ahead to the briefing room and have them set up immediately. I want to address Chicago as soon as I arrive."

"Yes sir." The rest of my guard surrounds me as we start moving towards the briefing room. This is the moment that will decide the future. How I address the city changes everything.

There are two options for Chicago. We can strike a deal with the Bureau and attempt to reach a compromise and incorporate both ways of life into our system. They would send a small amount of officials to make sure we actually went through with our side of the deal, but it would be completely peaceful. They've proposed that idea over and over again to us. Many of the city officials and heads of the factions agree with it.

The other option is to go to war. It would be costly, deadly, and completely destructive on both ends of the field. The war would continue until either of the sides surrenders or is destroyed. Obviously, most votes have gone towards the peace option.

We reach the briefing room and the cameras or already set up. I sit down in front of them and the directors start counting down.

"5."

This is it. I need to make a decision. Do I do what is best for the city or what I personally feel is right?

"4."

Tris was killed by the Bureau.

"3."

The love of my life is dead because of them.

"2."

It's too late to turn back now.

"1."

This changes everything.

"Go."

I look into the cameras and take a minute before I start. "Good morning Chicago. We have received reports of conflict beginning on the eastern border with the Bureau. As you all know, the Bureau has made many attempts over the last couple of years to try and integrate us into their society. They have tried to strike deals with us, cut our supplies off, capture hostages, and now they attack us."

I swallow and wipe my forehead as I continue. The conflict continues within me as I struggle to decide what to do.

"We will not have it. This organization claims to have created us for experimental purposes and now they want to destroy us if we don't adapt to their way of life. Is this fair? Do we not have the right to live the way we want?"

I dread this moment. I try hard within myself to make the right decisions but its too late. This moment changes everything. I had made up my mind the day Tris died.

"This is why today, as your president, I come before you to tell you that we have had enough. We will not be threatened into assimilation!"

I gulp one more time and look around at the camera crew and my guards. Not one of them shows any emotion.

"As of today, we are officially at war."