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Title: Through A Glass, Darkly
Author: Mary
Date Written: December, 1999 – January, 2000
Synopsis: As Lee and Amanda's first wedding anniversary approaches, they both struggle to come to terms with the past. Third segment to story that began in "With Or Without You" and continued in "If Looks Could Kill"
Scarecrow and Mrs. King
Through A Glass, Darkly
"When I was a child, I spake as a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Now, we see through a glass, darkly;
but then, face to face: now I know in part,
but then I shall know even as I am known.
I Corinthians, 13,11-12
CHAPTER ONE
"…and that sums up our latest intelligence reports on conditions in the Middle East." Lee Stetson glanced quickly at his watch before continuing. Almost 9:45, he thought ruefully. His meeting was already running behind schedule. That seemed to be par for the course around here lately. He didn't know why he'd expected today to be any different.
"That brings us to the main item on the agenda…Desmond and King are going to bring us up to date on the security for the upcoming anti-terrorism conference." He nodded to Francine, who quickly took his place at the podium.
"As you know," Francine began professionally, "Mrs. King and I are coordinating security for next week's conference, which is scheduled to begin on Monday afternoon and conclude at noon on Wednesday. In addition to the standard precautions, we've initiated the following security measures…"
Lee leaned comfortably against the wall as he absently listened to Francine run down the extra precautions they'd discussed yesterday. He tried to focus on the meeting, but his thoughts kept drifting to his wife sitting attentively at the polished conference table. Their hectic schedules had seemed even busier than usual these past few weeks due to this upcoming conference. He silently cursed whoever it was who had scheduled the symposium for the week before their anniversary. It was definitely one more case of bad timing. As if they didn't already have enough to do getting ready for their second wedding ceremony on February 13th.
He turned his attention back to Amanda. It seemed like an eternity since they'd been able to be alone together, he thought wistfully. But he had to admit she'd done a wonderful job with this project. She'd thrown herself into it with her usual enthusiasm and, if there had been little time left over for him these past few weeks, he could at least understand. He knew how important this assignment was to her.
Sometimes he was amazed at how she managed to juggle everything, her career, her kids, not to mention their private time together. Although, the latter seemed to have fallen by the wayside lately. Actually, he sometimes thought they'd had more time for each other before they'd gone public with their marriage. All those special weekends, just the two of them…he sighed, remembering. At least they had their second honeymoon to look forward to next week. Seven days to lie around in the sun, with no work or family problems to get in their way.
He looked over at Amanda again. Even though they had both had a grueling week, she was still able to sit in this meeting looking calm and collected. No, it was more than that…she looked positively beautiful in that gray silk suit, her dark hair pulled back off her face with a clip. He caught her eye and smiled, a world of longing conveyed in his look.
She met his gaze, then quickly looked down, pretending to check something in the paperwork spread out before her on the table. She could feel herself blushing in response to his look. Her head buried in the reports, she sneaked a quick peek at her co-workers. The other agents assembled in the conference room seemed oblivious to the exchange, she noted with relief. They all appeared to be absorbed in whatever it was Francine was saying at the moment.
Amanda found it difficult to concentrate this morning with her special plans for the evening running rampant in her head. Work and wedding preparations may have left them without any quality time together these last few weeks, but she definitely intended to remedy that tonight. She and Lee both needed to relax after the frenetic schedule they'd been forced to work since mid-January.
Despite the added burden, she was secretly pleased that she and Francine had been entrusted with the security detail for the anti-terrorism conference. She knew it was a fairly routine assignment for a field agent, but to her it represented an important milestone in her business relationship with Lee. When he had accepted the new position of Chief of Field Operations last November, the stress of their new work dynamic had caused quite a few problems at home and at the Agency. But since they had reached their new understanding on Christmas Eve, Lee had been true to his word about no longer keeping her tied to a desk. The whole incident with the Chameleon, while hitting frighteningly close to home, had at least produced this one positive effect. It had been a long time in coming, but Lee finally appeared to be working through his obsessive concern for her.
Smiling to herself as she flipped through the file, she risked one more brief look at her husband. He was still leaning nonchalantly against the wall, trying to hide his smile, apparently lost in some pleasant thoughts of his own. He certainly looked great in his new jacket, she thought with a grin, suddenly wishing that the day was ending instead of just beginning.
She forced her attention back to Francine, who appeared to be calling her name. Looking up, she saw that her partner had finished her report and was staring at her with a raised eyebrow. "Do you have anything you want to add?"
"No," Amanda replied, quickly covering her inattention by shuffling the papers in front of her. "Ms. Desmond I and will be in attendance at the convention center and hotel for the length of the conference to troubleshoot any problems might arise. And that pretty much covers it."
"Okay, that's it for this week," Lee said, officially closing the meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to stifle the smirk that appeared in response to Amanda's flustered expression. She was normally the picture of professionalism in staff conferences and it took a lot to ruffle her equanimity. Her thoughts must be as happily distracted this morning as his own, he thought, his grin widening. "We'll meet on Monday morning to finalize the assignments."
He called to her as she left the room. "Mrs. King, could I see you for a minute?"
"Yes?" she responded, smiling slightly at the form of address Lee had chosen. Although she had decided to retain the name 'King' for professional use, it seemed funny to hear her husband refer to her that way.
He waited until the rest of the staff had filed out of the room before speaking. "You seem to be having a little trouble concentrating this morning," he teased. "Anything I can help you with?"
"I think you've already done enough, thank you. If I couldn't pay attention, it was your fault," she laughed good-naturedly. "Do you think in the future you could keep your eyes to yourself while we're in a staff meeting?"
"I don't know, that's asking a lot when you sit there looking like that."
"Like what? You're in pretty bad shape, Stetson, it you think this suit is provocative."
"The way I'm feeling this morning, you'd look provocative wearing a sack," he said with a grin. He quickly glanced around and lowered his voice. "How long has it been, anyway? I'm starting to feel like our sex life is just a figment of my imagination."
"It hasn't been that long," Amanda answered softly, gathering her papers hurriedly. "Just…"
"Two weeks…"
"One day…"
"Eleven hours…"
"And about ten minutes," she added with a smile. "But then, who's counting?"
"Not me," Lee replied, taking the file and walking with her to the door.
"Me, neither," she intoned with an emphatic shake of her head.
Holding the door open with a flourish, he quickly followed her into the bullpen. "Come on, I'll walk you back to the Q-Bureau. I'm on my way out anyway."
They quickly fell into step together as they headed to the elevator that led to the outside world. "What's on your agenda for today?" Amanda asked as they began their ascent.
"Not too much. I've got a meeting with Billy and Holstein at the White House this morning," he added casually.
"And here I was thinking you'd worn the new jacket for my benefit." Amanda smiled, pausing to straighten his tie. "How long will your meeting take?"
"It should be finished by early afternoon. Why?"
"I was thinking that if I can get my paperwork out of the way, maybe we could get out of here a little early today?"
The elevator doors opened and they both acknowledged Mrs. Marston with a nod as they climbed the circular staircase that led to the upstairs offices. "If you can pry yourself away from your desk, I thought we might get a head start on our weekend," she continued with a grin.
"I think that might be arranged," he answered happily. They entered the Q-Bureau, pleased to find that Francine had not yet returned to the office. Quickly checking the vault to ensure that it, too, was empty, Lee wasted no time closing his arms around his wife and kissing her.
"Now this is just like old times," she said with a sigh, returning his kiss.
"I know. Just one of the things I miss about this office. Besides the view."
"It is nice to be able to look outside."
"I wasn't referring to the window," he said, kissing her again. "I missed you this morning."
"Me, too. I hate those early meetings…then we can't say good morning properly."
"Yeah," he grinned, kissing her again. "So tell me, Mrs. Stetson, what exactly did you have in mind for tonight?"
"Well, Mother is leaving this afternoon for her 'Weekend Aviator' Convention," she began with a smile. "And Philip is spending the weekend with his friend Tommy. In fact, he's going to his house directly from school."
"That leaves Jamie…"
"Who's going on that Father/Son thing with the Junior Trailblazers. You remember, where they spend the weekend living off the land, eating roots and berries, and negotiating the survival course - just the guys. I think it's the Junior Trailblazer's version of male bonding. It's the last level they have to pass before they make it to raccoon."
"Sounds exciting." Lee rolled his eyes.
"Well, it is to Jamie. He's been talking about nothing else for weeks. Where have you been?"
"Ever since I passed my survival skills certification as a freshman agent, I try to tune out anything that has the word wilderness in it," he said with a shudder. "It's got something to do with rain, a swamp filled with leeches, and a nasty case of poison ivy." Lee shook his head, closing his eyes to blot out the image.
"…I don't want to talk about it…I don't want to hear about it," they both said in unison.
Amanda laughed. "Well, Jamie's thrilled about the trip. There's a trophy for the Father/Son team that acquires the most points for the weekend. Philip finished in third place the year he took the course."
"I'm impressed."
"I can tell," she said, playfully slapping him on the arm. "Anyway, we should be grateful. Joe's picking him up at four this afternoon and we'll have the entire house to ourselves for the weekend."
"God bless the Junior Trailblazers," Lee intoned fervently. Kissing her one more time, he headed for the door. "Got to go. I'll be back here by 3:30 and then we can get leave."
"It's a date."
He walked briskly through the door with a spring in his step, barely avoiding a collision with Francine. "Hello, Francine and goodbye, Francine," he smiled, winking at Amanda as he left.
"There goes a man in a good mood," Francine smirked as she sat down at her desk. "Special plans for the weekend?"
Amanda shrugged noncommittally, barely able to contain her own grin as she, too, headed for her desk. "Could be. What about you? You and Jonathan up to anything special?"
"He's taking me to L'Ornate tonight."
"Not bad…he must have something special on his mind."
"That's what I'm afraid of," Francine said with a sigh, switching on her computer to signal that the conversation was at a close.
Amanda looked over at her partner. She could tell that something was bothering her. During the past six weeks, she and Francine had developed an easy-going working relationship. Learning to work with a new partner hadn't been easy, for either one of them. But Amanda felt the tension that had marred the first few months of their partnership gradually being replaced by a budding friendship based on trust and mutual respect. Of course, Lee hadn't made the adjustment any easier by handing them the 'soft' assignments. But since she and Lee had come to an understanding about that at Christmas, working with Francine had been a lot easier. They had even seen Francine and Jonathan socially on a few occasions.
From the few times they'd been out in a group, Amanda could tell that Jonathan was serious about his relationship with Francine. But it was equally obvious that Francine was still wrestling with her deep-seated fear of being hurt. Amanda wished that she could say something to help her, but she knew that Francine was in no mood to pay attention to anything she might have to say. Or anyone else, for that matter. She had a suspicion that Francine wasn't ready to accept yet just how serious Jonathan really was about her.
She smiled, remembering Lee's struggle with his feelings. She knew from experience that she couldn't really help her partner with her inner battle. All she could do was be ready to listen when and if Francine wanted to talk. Amanda hoped for her partner's sake that she would manage to come to terms with this issue sooner rather than later. Life was too short to let fear deter you from really living.
She was thankful that she and Lee had finally reached that conclusion. Almost one year ago, they were busy preparing for their 'mystery ceremony' as Lee jokingly referred to their elopement. Looking back, they both should have realized how impossible it would be to make that work. Lee had once compared their marriage to a fireman's schedule, 'two days on and four days off'. He was only kidding at the time, but that description had really been pretty close to the truth. Their relationship had been more like a clandestine love affair than a real marriage.
Amanda couldn't help but smile at the memory. At first it had been exciting, sneaking around, plotting to find ways to be alone. And when they were together, it had been incredibly intense, as if they were adrift in a private world that only the two of them shared. It was so easy to shut out everything else. There were no responsibilities, no children or mortgage payments to worry about, and they were never too tired or too stressed to make love.
But despite the perks, all the secrecy had a down side, too. At the end of their weekends, Amanda always found herself missing Lee more than ever as she struggled to adjust to their separation all over again. Time and time again, she would reach out for him at night only to feel the coldness of the empty space in her in bed. It wasn't only their physical relationship that she missed, but the simple intimacy of being together, of sharing her day-to-day problems with the man she loved. She knew that Lee had felt the same way, too.
And the situation at the Agency hadn't helped things, either. Even though she had been prepared to have a part-time husband, she had believed she would still have a full-time partner at work. But after the shooting on their honeymoon in California, Lee had been coddling her professionally, reluctant to expose her to anything even remotely dangerous. It was as if their whole relationship had suddenly turned inside-out.
Now that they had put an end to all the half-truths and evasions, though, she felt closer to her husband than ever. The open acknowledgement of their relationship had forged a new bond between them. Of course, it had been won at the expense of those erotic clandestine weekends, Amanda thought with a sigh. But with any luck, the next two days should prove to be just as wonderful as she remembered.
She turned her attention to the mountain of work piled in front of her. Thoughts like these wouldn't make the papers disappear. She only had a few hours to wade through this mess before Lee returned from his meeting. Smiling, she reached for the first file.
* * * * *
"It sounds like everything is in place for the conference," Billy Melrose said as he and Lee waited for their order at the hot dog stand.
Lee nodded in agreement. "Amanda and Francine have done a pretty thorough job with security." As the boy brought their order, he reached into his pocket for some cash.
Billy caught his arm. "No, this one's on me. After all, you're the one with the new house and the big mortgage." He grinned as he handed over a five dollar bill.
"Gee, thanks Billy. That's a big help."
Billy laughed again as they sat down. "This is what I miss when I'm in New York. There's nothing better that a chili dog from Mickey's."
"Does Jeannie know you're eating that?" Lee asked with a laugh.
"No. And remember Scarecrow, on a need to know basis, this is something she doesn't need to know."
"Oh, you can trust me, Billy. I carry an Alpha green 14 security clearance these days."
Billy chuckled as they sat down on one of the outdoor tables. He quickly scanned the area, suddenly turning serious. "So, Scarecrow, what was so important that we had to meet here in the freezing cold?"
"The final autopsy report on the Chameleon's partner finally came through."
"It's about time. What does it say?"
"No foul play - suicide. There's the usual medical mumbo-jumbo, but the short version is that it's some kind of fast-acting poison. Consistent with methods the Chameleon had used in previous hits. It was concealed in a hollowed out tube of her drop earring."
"Then the evidence backs up what Holstein said in his statement."
Lee looked away. "Maybe. I admit, on the surface, everything appears legitimate."
"But?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's nothing."
Billy smiled. "I've seen that look before, Scarecrow. What's really bothering you about all this?"
"The convenience of it all. There's the timing, for one - there wasn't one senior agent in the building. Rookies were covering every shift."
"It was right before the holiday. And our teams were covering other events in D.C. that night."
"With you in New York, the debriefing was my responsibility."
"Your superior ordered you to go home," Billy countered. "You'd broken up the hit and taken out the assassin. Not to mention that you'd almost been killed yourself earlier that night."
Lee shrugged, as Billy continued. "Holstein was the target – he had a vested interest in the debriefing."
"Yeah, maybe. And maybe he had as much interest in seeing that she wasn't debriefed."
Billy looked at him closely. "Do you have evidence to back that statement up?"
Lee shook his head. "Nothing but a gut feeling."
"Unfortunately, gut feelings don't hold much water with internal affairs."
"I know. But everything that happened…Billy, a contract is supposed to be just that – a contract. It's business. This whole thing seemed very personal. I mean he dragged my private life into the middle of a hit. It bothers me."
"You know the autopsy findings will officially close this Agency's investigation."
"I know," Lee nodded in agreement. "But still…Billy, I want to look into this…unofficially for now."
Billy looked at him thoughtfully. "You want to assign a covert team? As head of Field Ops that's your prerogative."
"No…at least not yet. There isn't enough to go on. I want to poke around myself first. Don't worry," he added as he caught Billy's expression. "I have no intention of charging off on my own again. That's one lesson I've finally learned. You see, I'm even discussing this with you," he grinned.
"I don't want you in over your head, Scarecrow," Billy said, his look stating in no uncertain terms that he was not amused.
"Believe me, after what happened with Dr. Smyth's little party, I have no intention of making this a one-man operation," he rejoined with a laugh. "Besides, Amanda would kill me. And believe me, I'm not looking for that kind of trouble."
Billy smiled, shaking his head. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but all right, you have my okay to look into it… quietly. But we keep this between the two of us for now."
"Agreed." Lee smiled again as he took a bite of his food. "You're right, Billy. This is the best chilidog in D. C."
"I think I've just lost my appetite," Billy groaned, pushing his plate away.
CHAPTER TWO
"…so I think Francine and I have everything under control," Amanda announced over her shoulder as she walked through the back door of their Rockville, Maryland home.
"I'm sure you do," Lee stated confidently, kicking the door closed with his foot. His arms were laden with groceries which he quickly deposited on the kitchen counter.
"What have you got in here?" he complained in mock annoyance. "I thought you said you just wanted to pick up a few things."
"No one can just 'pick up a few things' at the supermarket," she smiled, kissing him lightly. "Besides, I have a very special dinner in mind." She pulled something out of the bag, pealing off the wrapper to reveal a bottle of Lee's favorite Beaujolais.
Lee eyed the bottle appreciatively. "I definitely approve. But I can't believe you found that at the grocery store."
"No, they don't carry it," Amanda laughed. "I just happened to pick this up a few days ago. I was saving it for a surprise."
"It's starting to look like you've been planning this dinner for a while, Mrs. Stetson."
"Try all week."
He smiled and pulled her closer. "I've got a few plans of my own, too. Would you like a preview?"
She returned his look, running her hands up the front of his coat. "Depends on what you had in mind."
He raised his eyebrows, leaning in to kiss her.
"I'm sorry," Dotty said as she unexpectedly entered the room. "I didn't mean to interrupt."
"Mother," Amanda said in surprise, patting Lee on the chest as she untangled herself from his embrace. "I didn't realize you were still home. I thought you had your Weekend Aviator thing."
"Oh, I do," she assured her quickly. "In fact, I think Captain Curt just pulled into the driveway. But I didn't want to leave until you got home." She paused for a minute. "Jamie's upstairs."
Amanda glanced at her watch. "It's almost 4:30. Joe's running late?"
"No," Dotty sighed. "Joe called a little while ago. He canceled on Jamie. He has to be in court first thing Monday morning and he said he needs the weekend to prepare."
Amanda glanced over at Lee. "Was Jamie very upset?"
"He was devastated. That nice Mr. Sanders…that's his friend John's father…"
"I know who Mr. Sanders is, Mother."
"Well, Mr. Sanders said he could go with them, but Jamie didn't want to. He didn't want to be the only one there without his dad. Something about a trophy and Joe taking Philip a few years ago…"
"He was really looking forward to this," Amanda said sadly. "That's all he's been talking about all week."
"I know." Dotty glanced at the wine and groceries spread out on the kitchen counter. "Amanda, I don't have to go to this conference this weekend. I can tell Captain Curt that we'll do it another time. I'll do something special with Jamie."
"No, Mother, you've been looking forward to this and Captain Curt's waiting in the car. Go on. We'll deal with this."
"You're sure? Because it's no trouble…"
Lee nodded. "Go on, Dotty, have a good time."
Dotty looked from one to the other. "Okay. I left my number by the phone if you need me."
"Just enjoy yourself, Mother," Amanda called to Dotty's retreating form. She turned to Lee with a sigh. "I'd better go up and see if Jamie's okay."
Lee nodded. "Go ahead. I'll put this stuff away."
"Okay." Amanda hesitated, turning to give him a hug. "I'm sorry about…"
"It's all right. Go on and talk to Jamie," Lee reassured her.
* * * * *
Amanda stopped outside Jamie's door, pausing to knock. There was a time when she would walk in and out of the boys' rooms freely, she thought wistfully, but not any more. One of the many things that had changed as they grew older. It seemed like only yesterday that they were small and she was trying to find the words to explain to them why their father was away from home so much. How did that old saying go? 'The more things change, the more they stay the same'. Even after all this time, here she was, still making excuses for Joe. She suddenly felt very tired as she knocked again, this time entering the room without waiting for a reply.
Jamie was lying on the bed, his face buried in a book. Amanda hesitated for a fraction of a second before sitting down beside him and patting him on the arm. "I'm sorry about your weekend. Your grandmother told me what happened."
Jamie shrugged, seemingly absorbed in his reading.
Amanda took a deep breath and tried again. "I'm sure your Dad's just as disappointed as you are."
"I guess."
Amanda was a little startled by the hostility in his voice. He must be even more upset than she'd first imagined. "I know John and his dad would be glad to have you go with them," she said hopefully, trying to find a way to salvage the weekend for her son.
"It doesn't really matter." Jamie stared pointedly at his book, refusing to meet Amanda's eye.
Amanda sighed at his response. "Jamie, I know how much you've been looking forward to this."
"It's just a stupid campout."
She reached out to take his hand. "If you went with John and his dad, you might have a good time. You've done stuff with them before."
"I don't want to go with them, " Jamie said, glaring back at his mother as he pulled his hand away. "Anyway, you just want me out of the house this weekend so I won't be in the way."
Amanda looked at him suspiciously. "That's not true. Why on earth would you think that?"
He shrugged noncommittally. "I just do. I won't bother you. I'll stay in my room."
"Jamie, you're my son and I love you. You're never in my way. I only suggested that you go with the Sanders' because I knew how much you were counting on this weekend. "Amanda shook her head sadly. "No one's forcing you to go if you don't want to."
"It's too late - they left already. I've got to read my this for school, anyway." He turned his face away, burying it again in his book.
Amanda looked at Jamie's sullen expression, deciding to let the matter drop for now. "Okay, if that's how you feel. But if you change your mind, I'll be happy to drive you up there."
Amanda watched the stubborn figure of her son as he continued to read his book, a small frown painted on his face. She wished she could find the words that would make this better. Maybe he just needed a little time alone. She left the room with a sigh, closing the door behind her. She was surprised to see Lee standing in the hall.
"Struck out, huh?" he asked, tilting his head in the direction of Jamie's door.
"You heard? I feel so bad. After everything Jamie's been through this year, I'd like to…" Amanda looked away with a sad shake of her head. 'I'd like to throttle Joe right now', she added to herself. She took a deep breath, turning back to face her husband. "I can't get through to Jamie at all. It used to be so easy when he was little."
Lee gave her a quick hug. Stepping back, he held her at arm's length, looking into her brown eyes with a smile. "Why don't you let me give it a try?"
"I don't know, Lee, he's pretty upset." She hesitated a minute before continuing. "For some reason, he seems to feel like he's in the way."
Lee nodded. "I caught that part of the conversation. That's why I'm the one who needs to talk to him."
She raised her eyebrow. "Okay, if you think so. Good luck."
"Thanks," he said wryly. "Why do I suddenly have the feeling I'd rather be disarming a terrorist?"
"I'll be in our bedroom, so yell if you need back-up," she grinned.
Rolling his eyes, he hesitated briefly before knocking on Jamie's door. "Hey, Jamie, it's Lee. May I come in for a minute?" Lee walked boldly into the room before Jamie had a chance to say no. His stepson refused to look up, instead feigning a keen interest in his book.
Lee took a deep breath, trying to remember what it was like to be twelve. He smiled as he glanced at the comfortable clutter of 'stuff' scattered haphazardly around the room. These quarters would certainly never have passed one of his uncle's surprise inspections, Lee thought ruefully. And he had absolutely never been allowed to relax on his bed with a book. It violated his uncle's sense of order. In Colonel Robert Clayton's world, there was a proper time and a proper place for everything.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he tried think of a good way to break the ice. Jamie certainly showed no signs of making his task an easy one. He took a deep breath and plunged ahead.
"That must really be a good book," he began, looking at Jamie a little more carefully. "But I bet you'd have an easier time reading if it wasn't upside down." He paused for a minute before continuing. "You can tell me to leave if you want to, Jamie. But I thought maybe you might like someone to talk to."
Jamie reluctantly put his book down on his chest, turning towards Lee with a hostile glare. "There isn't anything to talk about. My dad can't go on the campout and I've ruined your plans for the weekend." He picked up his book again, turning it over with an exaggerated motion.
"You haven't ruined my plans for the weekend at all. But I would guess that you're kind of mad that your dad ruined yours."
Jamie shrugged his shoulders. "He had to work. You and Mom have to work a lot, so why shouldn't he?"
"Exactly," Lee countered, ignoring his stepson's antagonism. "So you shouldn't be mad at him for having to do his job. But that doesn't solve your problem about this weekend, does it?"
Jamie shook his head.
"I have an idea, if you're interested," Lee continued casually. "If you still want to go…"
"Mom already said I should go with John and his dad," Jamie said sullenly.
"What I was going to say is that I'd be happy to go with you if you'd like."
Jamie eyed Lee suspiciously. "Really?"
"Yes, really."
"Why?"
"Because I know how much you wanted to go. And because I remember what it's like to be your age and wish your father was around to do that kind of stuff with you." He took a deep breath. "I know it's not the same as going with your dad, but I'm game if you are."
Jamie started to speak and then hesitated, looking down at the floor.
"Come on, Jamie, it'll be fun. Besides," Lee added with a grin, "I hear there's a trophy involved and my survival skills are top-notch. The federal government guarantees it."
Jamie smiled at his last remark. Looking up, he let out a deep breath and quietly said, "Okay."
"Okay." Lee looked at the camping gear thrown in the corner of the room. "Why don't you finish packing and give me a few minutes to make a couple of phone calls, and we'll get going."
Jamie nodded in silent agreement. Wondering what he'd gotten himself into, Lee left to tell his wife.
* * * * *
"Amanda, where's my…" Lee stopped mid-sentence as he heard her voice rise in anger. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to him, speaking into the telephone through clenched teeth. He paused, listening to the one-sided conversation.
"I don't care, Joe, you promised him…No…No, I don't…Well, you're wrong. Jamie doesn't understand and neither do I…No, you're just leaving me to pick up the pieces again. You'd think I'd be an expert after all this time…Well, you can try, but I'm not sure if he'll be interested…No, I have never done that. As I recall, you were the one filling his head with impossibilities last summer…I don't want to rehash that either. Don't worry, I'll take care of it…Yeah, you're welcome. Goodbye." She slammed the phone down into its base and exhaled loudly, rubbing her forehead with her hand.
"Whew," Lee whistled softly, happy he wasn't on the receiving end of that conversation. "So how's Joe?""
Amanda turned around at the sound of his voice. "Evidently too busy to spend the weekend with his son," she replied sarcastically, anger still seething through her words. "And don't say it – I know I should have waited until I cooled down to call him."
Lee sat down beside her, putting his arm around her shoulder. "I wasn't planning on saying anything of the kind. You can fight with Joe all you want."
Amanda smiled at him ruefully. "Gee, thanks, that's so generous of you."
"Just be sure you know what it is you're really fighting about."
"Believe me, I know exactly what I'm angry about. I hate to see him disappoint Jamie, that's all."
"Uh-huh."
"And just what is that 'uh-huh' supposed to mean?"
Lee raised his hands in mock defense. "Absolutely nothing at all. Don't drag me into the middle of this. I'm an innocent bystander here." He backed away, getting up and heading into his walk-in closet.
She sighed sadly, rising to follow him. "I'm sorry. It's Joe I'm aggravated with, not you. I think I'm as disappointed as Jamie is," she confessed with a sad smile. "I've been looking forward to being alone with you all week."
She followed him into the closet, coming up behind him and putting her arms around his waist. "But I shouldn't complain. It's not like it was before we 'went public'. We do still have the weekend together."
"Uh, Amanda," Lee began, slowly turning to face her. "About this weekend…"
Amanda looked up at him, unable to read the expression in his eyes. "What? You're not going to tell me you just remembered something you have to do at work, are you?"
"Not exactly. I told Jamie I'd take him on the campout."
"He agreed?" she asked incredulously.
Lee nodded. "He seemed a little hesitant at first, but he's packing right now. Which reminds me, I need to find my long underwear."
Amanda shook her head skeptically. "You, on a wilderness weekend with the Junior Trailblazers?"
Lee returned her look with a grin. "What's the matter? You think the Junior Trailblazers won't survive the encounter?"
"Oh, they'll be just fine. It's you I'm worried about."
"Amanda, I'm a spy. How hard can it be to infiltrate a group of suburban fathers on a campout?"
She laughed in response. "You have no idea. Believe me, breaking up Peter Sacker's New Utopia group was a picnic in comparison." She leaned in closer and whispered in his ear. "And you won't have me to keep you warm this time."
"No?" He looked into her eyes and smiled, slowly shaking his head as he leaned in to brush her lips with his. "Then maybe you can loan me your waterproof match."
"Sure, Stetson, I think you'll probably need it." She smiled as she leaned in to kiss him again. "Thank you."
He stepped back to look at her. "For what?"
"For doing this for Jamie. I know exactly how you really feel about spending the weekend in the wilderness."
"I've been on assignments in worse places than a cold tent. As long as I don't let myself picture you here cuddled up in our nice, warm bed, I should be okay."
"Then I guess I shouldn't tell you what I won't be wearing," she teased.
"Probably not."
She leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. "Then just keep a mental image of that tropical island we're headed to next week. That's what I plan to do."
"Hmmm, that might just get me through the weekend," he grinned. "But I've got to get moving. I need to talk to Billy before I go."
She nodded absently. "I guess I can use this weekend to catch up on my paperwork. And all those final details for our anniversary ceremony next Saturday."
"Hey, I'll miss you, Mrs. Stetson, " he whispered regretfully.
"I'll miss you, too. But I'm happy Jamie agreed to go. This is a big step for him." She paused for a minute, looking Lee in the eye. "For both of you."
"I know."
"And I promise you a terrific homecoming on Sunday."
He smiled as he raised his eyebrows. "I'm going to hold you to that."
CHAPTER THREE
The sunlight was beginning to get weaker as the two figures rounded the top of the small hill. Lee smiled as he watched Jamie struggling to hide his yawn as he dropped his backpack on the ground.
"Tired?"
Jamie shook his head. "No, I'm okay. Lee…" He took a deep breath, glancing at his stepfather out of the corner of his eye. "Do you have any idea where we are?"
"Sure. Believe me, this is a piece of cake. " He gave Jamie his most reassuring smile, trying to hide the fact that he suspected they'd actually been traveling in circles for the past hour. In the winter, all the markings seemed to look alike.
Lee glanced over at Jamie, smiling as he recognized the expression on his face. He wore the same eager look that Amanda had when they first started working together, an endearing mixture of excitement and concern.
Squatting on the ground beside Jamie, Lee spread the Junior Trailblazer map out in front of them. "Okay, the last checkpoint was here." He frowned slightly as he studied the markings.
"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "Then we were supposed to follow this trail here." He pointed to the route outlined in red, looking at Lee questioningly. "Maybe we shouldn't have taken that shortcut?"
Lee shook his head. "Nah, the shortcut should cut at least a couple of hours off our time." He looked at the map thoughtfully and back again at the trees. "We're okay. If we keep heading due north, we should come out right over here." He pointed to the map once more. "Then it's only a short hike to the finish line. We shouldn't have too far to go tomorrow at all."
"Okay."
"Don't worry, Jamie, I've done this kind of thing a million times." He smiled again in encouragement.
"Really?"
"Yup. So, do you want to stop now and camp or go a little further?"
"We can go a little further," Jamie said with a smile.
"Okay. Then let's head north. You can tell the direction by how the moss grows on the trees," Lee added.
"Did you learn that in spy class?" Jamie asked.
"Ah, no," Lee replied with a grin. "Actually, your mother taught me that. Let's go."
Jamie grinned, too, as he picked up his gear and followed Lee down the trail.
* * * * *
Amanda shivered as she pulled the small blanket closer around her, the warmth from the fireplace doing little to dispel the chill she felt. Curled up comfortably in a corner of the couch, she had been trying to read the updated report on counter-espionage tactics for the last thirty minutes, but to no avail. No matter how hard she concentrated, she kept reading the same sentence over and over again. Giving up, she tossed the papers on the coffee table with a sigh and quietly sipped her wine. Gazing into the flames of the fire, she wondered how Lee and Jamie had fared last night in the woods. The local station had reported record low temperatures in the outlying areas.
She took another sip of Lee's favorite Beaujolais, savoring the flavor on her taste buds. By all rights, she should have been enjoying this wine and this fire with Lee, instead of a report on anti-terrorism measures. Damn Joe anyway…his plans were always more important than hers. Thanks to him, she was sitting alone on the couch while her husband and son were off together in the woods.
Amanda shook her head sadly. What was the matter with her tonight? Here she was feeling jealous that Lee was spending the weekend with Jamie instead of at home with her. It was certainly absurd to be jealous of her own son. She knew it was selfish, but the truth of the matter was that sometimes she missed the way things used to be, missed having Lee all to herself. Before, when their marriage was a secret shared only by the two of them, it was as if he belonged to her alone.
This was really silly, she thought, silently chastising herself for her self-centered thoughts. She was happy that Jamie was finally starting to look at Lee as part of their family. She knew what an important step this was for both of them. She said a silent prayer that things were going well. Jamie had still appeared to be in a surly mood when they left yesterday.
She wondered for a moment if these irrational feelings about their lost privacy might be part of the problem between Lee and Jamie. Something had given Jamie the idea that he was in the way. Her youngest son had always been very tuned in to her feelings. Perhaps she had inadvertently been sending him the wrong message. Jamie had been especially sensitive since the episode last fall with agent Mason.
It had always been so easy for Lee with Philip. It was obvious from the start that they had both made an immediate connection. They seemed to have so much in common. It had been a very different story with Jamie. The more Philip opened up to his stepfather, the more Jamie seemed to pull back.
Amanda heaved an angry sigh. She still laid most of the blame for this at Joe's door. He certainly had been less than helpful in encouraging Jamie to accept Lee's place in her life. Of course, to be fair, Joe hadn't known she and Lee were married at the time. He had viewed their relationship as a casual flirtation and had inadvertently passed that point of view along to his son. In a way, Joe, too, had been an unwitting casualty of the veil of secrecy that had surrounded her life since her marriage to Lee. Maybe that explained the hint of resentment she sometimes felt from him when they were together.
But that still didn't let him off the hook for this weekend. If Lee hadn't stepped in…lost in thought, she didn't hear the doorbell until the second ring. Looking through the peephole, she was a little dismayed to see Joe standing on her front porch, impatiently shuffling from one foot to the other. He was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. She reluctantly opened the door.
It was obvious from the look on his face that he was still upset from their phone conversation yesterday. She took a deep breath, greeting him coolly. "Hi, Joe."
"Amanda. Can I come in?"
"Sure." She opened the door and stepped aside, allowing him to enter. "I didn't expect to see you tonight."
"I stopped by to see how Jamie was. I thought I might take him out to dinner."
"I thought you had to work all weekend?"
"Well, I have to eat."
Amanda sighed. "I suppose so. But you're out of luck - you missed him by about twenty-four hours."
"What are you talking about?" he asked, his annoyance apparent in his tone.
"Lee took him on the camping trip. They'll be home tomorrow night if you want to call Jamie then."
"I see." Joe stared uncomfortably at his ex-wife's unbending form. "Okay, tell him I stopped by."
Amanda hesitated a minute, then turned to Joe. "As long as you're here, do you want to sit down? I think we probably need to talk about Jamie."
Torn between his need to leave and his desire to talk about his son, he finally nodded in agreement. "I suppose I could stay for a few minutes."
"You know, Joe, you can't work night and day, " Amanda said, trying to hide her irritation as she invited him into the family room.
Closing the front door, Joe reluctantly followed her retreating form. "Amanda, I couldn't help it if I had to work this weekend. I only found out yesterday that the trial date was moved up. I have to be in court Monday morning. It's an important case."
"It always is."
"My client is counting on me. I owe it to him to be prepared."
"Your son was counting on you, too. Or did you overlook that fact?"
"No, I didn't. I happen to love Jamie very much."
"Then you should have known how much this weekend meant to him," Amanda added, sitting down on the couch. "Jamie's been talking about nothing else for two weeks. And to break it to him over the phone…at the very least, you owed it to him to tell him to his face." She shook her head sadly. "But I guess face to face conversations were never your strong suit. As I recall, we decided to end our marriage over the phone, too."
"That was a cheap shot," Joe said, struggling to keep his temper in check. "No matter what happened between us, you know how important Philip and Jamie are to me."
"But never important enough to put them first. They've always come second to your career. Just how many of their birthdays did you miss, Joe, while you were running all over the world on behalf of your clients?"
"That's not fair, and you know it. I never abandoned my family…you're the one who made it look like that by staying in Arlington with my sons when I wanted you to join me."
"'Your sons weren't much more than babies when you made the choice to pursue your career in a third world country."
"The Emergency Aid Organization did a lot of good. What's wrong with wanting to give something back to people less fortunate?"
"I guess it's all a matter of priorities," Amanda muttered, turning her gaze to the window.
"What does that mean?" Joe demanded, taking his coat off and throwing it across the chair.
Amanda sighed, facing him once again. "I was the one who put my plans on hold and supported you all through law school. Or have you conveniently forgotten that fact?" She took another deep breath. "We had two little children. It was time you put them first and settled down to be a family."
"We could have done that anywhere, Amanda. But you stubbornly refused to even consider moving. You never tried to see my side of things."
"You were talking about moving to another country, where the living conditions were pretty primitive. You can't drag two little babies all over the world like that," she snapped in annoyance. "Children need a home, some stability."
"I see, like the stability you're giving them now?" He picked up the report Amanda had left on the coffee table. "'State Department Update on Anti-Terrorist Measures and Counter-Measures' – I'm sure this makes for great reading before bed."
"In case you failed to notice, Philip and Jamie outgrew bedtime stories a long time ago, " she retorted sarcastically. "The same way I've outgrown making excuses for you."
"I've never asked you to do that."
"I know…you never asked me about anything, period." Amanda stood up, pacing restlessly back and forth as she turned a wrathful eye on Joe. "Making unilateral decisions was more your style."
"Well, I don't recall being consulted when you decided to pursue a career that turned my children into targets, " Joe rejoined angrily.
"Oh, I was waiting for you to drag that up again," she retorted, her voice becoming louder. "But you know, Philip and Jamie were never in any danger at all until you landed it all in our laps. I believe your enemies were the ones who dragged our children into the middle of that mess with the EAO."
"And what do you call what went on with Jamie last fall? Held hostage by a deranged federal agent who almost kills him and blows up his house right before his eyes. It wasn't my career that sent him into therapy."
"Yeah, where he's working out trying to deal with his absentee father."
"And what about his absentee mother?" Joe intoned, his voice rising in anger. "Or haven't you listened when your son complains that you're never around?"
She whirled around to face him. "Damn it, Joe…it's not the same thing and you know it. When Jamie was little, I was the one who was always there for him."
"I know…I was the one who was working to support our family so you could always be there for him."
"And it was your decision to do that half-way around the world. I had no choice but to be both mother and father to our sons when they were small. But guess what? The boys are both teenagers now. And it's a healthy thing for their mother to have some outside interests, including a career of her own."
"One where being shot at is just a routine day on the job?" he sneered.
"What I choose to do with my life is none of your business," she retorted through clenched teeth. "You gave up the right to comment on it a long time ago."
"Maybe so." Joe paused, turning on her with a furious eye. "But don't stand there and tell me you were thinking of Philip and Jamie when you took up this line of work."
"What are you implying?"
"I'm not implying anything," Joe answered hotly. "I'm saying that you were more interested in pursuing one particular federal agent than a career at the Agency."
"Oohhhh…just what is that remark supposed to mean?"
"You figure it out." Grabbing his coat, he headed for the door.
"That's right, Joe, walk away, just like you always do," Amanda sputtered heatedly as she followed him. "But leave my relationship with Lee out of this – it has nothing to do with what we're talking about."
Joe took a deep breath and paused, his hand on the doorknob. "You're wrong, Amanda. It has everything to do with Jamie's problems. But, as usual, you refuse to see any point of view but your own."
"If that is the case, it's your fault," Amanda stated, angrily meeting his eye. "You were the one who led him to believe that his parents would get back together last fall."
"Don't lay all that at my door. I wasn't the one leading a secret life. You and Lee and your 'need to know' bullshit." He looked at her in frustration. "Don't you think maybe your children needed to know you'd remarried?"
Wincing at his last words, Amanda turned away, her arms folded across her chest defensively. Blinking back the tears that welled up unbidden in her eyes, she vaguely wondered why she and Joe were doing this to each other. It had been years since they'd torn into each other like this. In fact, since his return to Washington two years ago, their relationship had been remarkably cordial.
His hand on the door, Joe hesitated for a moment, resting his head against the smooth grain of the wood. He glanced at Amanda out of the corner of his eye, watching her rigid figure with a remorseful eye. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to her, laying a cautious hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Amanda. You're right, your relationship with Lee is none of my business."
She sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, too. Gosh, Joe, what just happened here?"
"I think our past reared its ugly head and took a bite," he answered wisely. "Maybe it's time we really talked and put a few of these issues to rest once and for all?"
"Maybe so." Amanda let out the breath she'd been holding, turning towards Joe with a cheerless smile. "Are you hungry? I've got a refrigerator full of food and no one here to eat it."
He nodded, returning her look. "Okay, thanks. I think I'd like that."
CHAPTER FOUR
Lee broke up another branch and added it to the fire. The flames rose higher, sending little sparks flying up into the night. Gathering some extra branches, he stockpiled them on one side of the campsite. Since sunset, the air had taken on a bitter chill. Lee had a feeling they might need the extra wood later.
He glanced over at Jamie. He was sitting cross-legged on the ground silently watching the flames, his back resting against a fallen tree trunk. The small figure by the fire hadn't moved once while Lee had been busy gathering the wood. He wished he knew what Jamie was thinking. He was such a quiet kid - it was difficult sometimes to even guess at what was going through his mind. Time and time again he had tried to find some frame of reference that would help him understand his stepson, but so far he had been unsuccessful.
He moved closer to the fire, sitting down next to Jamie. The stillness closed in around them, the comfortingly familiar sounds of the woods conspicuously absent in the wintertime. It was definitely turning into a cold night, even for February.
Lee cleared his throat, searching for something to say, finally settling on a universal topic. "So, Jamie, how's school going?"
Jamie shrugged noncommittally. "Okay."
"Okay," Lee echoed, picking up a branch and absently stirring the fire. "You're not cold, are you?"
Jamie shook his head. "No."
"Hungry?" Lee tried again. "I think there are some beans left."
"No, thank you."
Lee took a deep breath, throwing the branch he'd been playing with into the fire. "The Super Bowl was pretty good last week, huh?" he prompted, giving it another shot. He could see Jamie wasn't going to make this easy. "How about those Redskins…beating the Broncos 42 to 10?"
"I don't know. You and Philip watched that."
"Oh, yeah, that's right." He racked his brain, desperately seeking another topic. Getting this twelve-year old to open up to him tonight was like pulling teeth. He'd had better luck extracting information from hostile witnesses during an interrogation.
He took a deep breath and tried again. "John and his dad seemed pretty nice," he began.
"They're okay, I guess," Jamie stated vaguely.
"Oh? I thought you two were good friends."
"We used to be." The boy sighed, reaching for a stick and imitating Lee's earlier gesture. "John thinks he's so cool. All he talks about is how he's gonna win the trophy this weekend."
"What about the rest of the guys?" Lee asked, looking at Jamie with concern.
"I don't hang out with them much anymore. They all play basketball and I don't."
Lee looked at him quizzically. "Your mom told me you didn't want to try out for the basketball team this year."
Jamie stared at the fire, avoiding Lee's gaze. "I couldn't."
"Try out?"
Jamie nodded. "Their tryouts were at the end of October, right before we moved. It was too late for this year."
Lee looked at Jamie, reading his disappointment even in the darkness. "That's too bad. But you can always try next year."
Jamie shook his head. "It's harder to make the team if you weren't on it the year before."
"You could practice. I'm sure Philip would be glad to help you." Lee glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "For that matter, so would I."
"It wouldn't make any difference," Jamie said unhappily. "They always take the same guys back again."
"I guess this move has been kind of tough on you, huh?" Lee asked sympathetically. He debated for a minute whether or not he should venture into this area. He didn't feel qualified to give an opinion – this 'parenting' stuff had always been Amanda's territory. Maybe Amanda had already given Jamie some advice on this subject.
"Have you talked to your mom about this?" Lee inquired hopefully.
Jamie shook his head. "I didn't want to bother her. "
"She wouldn't think it was a bother."
"But she'd just worry about it. And then maybe…"
Lee's eyebrows narrowed as he watched Jamie closely. "Maybe what, Jamie?"
"I don't know." He hesitated for a minute before continuing. "Lee…can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"Are you ever scared?"
He looked at Jamie with a puzzled expression, wondering exactly what he was trying to say. "Sure. Everyone gets scared."
"No, I mean…" Jamie paused, then blurted out, "Are you ever scared that something might happen to my mom?"
Lee looked at Jamie closely, suddenly understanding what was really bothering the boy. He kicked himself for not realizing it earlier. After all, hadn't he been struggling with the same issues himself not too long ago? It was no wonder Jamie had been so quiet and moody lately.
Lee looked at Jamie again and nodded solemnly. "Yeah, sometimes."
Lost in thought, he tried to think of some words that would reassure Jamie. This was a lot for a twelve-year old to deal with. Lee remembered the lengths his fears had forced him to go to only one short month ago. He certainly hadn't done a very good job dealing with his own worry over Amanda. And he was a grown man. More than that, he was a trained professional. He ran his hand nervously through his hair, searching for some words that might make this better.
"When you love someone, it's natural to worry about them. And I'm sure everybody worries that something will happen to their parents."
"Yeah, but it's not the same. Other people's mothers don't have dangerous jobs."
Lee reached out and picked up another branch, tossing it into the fire. The crackle of the burning twigs echoed loudly in the stillness. He took a deep breath and tried again.
"You know, Jamie, a lot of what we do is really routine. Reports, paperwork…organizing little details – it's not like what you see on T.V. or in the movies."
"I get scared when she goes to work that she might not come home," Jamie said in a small voice.
He glanced again at his stepson. "What makes you believe your mother won't come home at night?"
Jamie turned to face him, tilting his head to one side. "You didn't."
"Your mother knows how to take care of herself," Lee said, neatly sidestepping Jamie's remark and repeating Amanda's own words of reassurance. "Believe me, she's very good at her job."
"But something still could happen to her. You're good at your job, aren't you?" Jamie asked pointedly. "And something happened to you. "
Lee exhaled loudly, not knowing quite how to reply to Jamie's statement. This was a tough one. He leaned back against the log, searching for the right words to describe to Jamie what had happened to him. How could he even begin to explain an inexplicable business to someone his age? At times he found his job impossible to understand himself.
Even after all these months, he was still trying to come to terms with what had happened at the Agency last summer, still struggling to grasp the motives behind Dr. Smyth's Phoenix Group. Adversaries like Alexi Makarov or Addi Birol – those he could recognize and fight. The reasons for their actions were clear-cut. But enemies that hid behind the faces of friends…that was a different story altogether. He found their motivation much more difficult to comprehend.
Lee took a deep breath, glancing over at Jamie again. He was evidently more troubled by this than he and Amanda had realized. "Have you tried telling your mom how you feel?"
Jamie shook his head. "No."
"Jamie, I know this is hard for you to understand at your age…or really at any age," Lee mumbled to himself. He sighed and tried again. "Lot's of people have jobs that have some element of risk. Ours just seem to be a little more dramatic. But they're really not."
"I don't know," Jamie continued, turning to Lee with a serious expression. "Last summer, when mom thought you were dead - I've never seen her so upset. And after the house blew up…"
"Go on," Lee encouraged him gently.
"I started to worry…"
"That you wouldn't be safe anymore," Lee finished quietly. "What happened with Mason was pretty scary, I know."
"But, see, it was my fault all that happened. If it wasn't for me, mom wouldn't have been in the house that night. And you wouldn't have gotten shot. You guys came in to get me out."
"Jamie, none of what happened was your fault." Lee tried to reassure him. "You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I swear, your mother and I will do everything we can to make sure nothing like that happens to you or to Philip again."
Jamie toyed with a small stick, absently pulling the dried leaves off and throwing them into the fire. "After all that happened, I started wondering what I'd do if something happened to mom, like if she'd been killed in the explosion. I'd have to live with Dad and Carrie. I wouldn't see Grandma as much. Everything would be so different."
Lee solemnly nodded in understanding, looking up at the night sky searching for the constellations the way he used to do when he was a boy. He could relate only too well to what Jamie was saying. How do you begin to explain death to a child? It was a difficult enough concept for an adult to understand and accept.
His thoughts drifted back sadly across the years. He suddenly felt five years old again, listening to a stranger telling him that his parents had gone away. The path of his life had been forever altered on the night his uncle had appeared at his door to take him to his new home. To a place that wasn't really a home at all. Even after all these years, the pain of that loss was still there, like a wound that never quite healed. He saw himself sitting on the bed in his new room, on that first air base in California, wondering why everything in his life was suddenly so different and asking his uncle again when his mommy and daddy were coming home.
The home that he and Amanda had finally made together was a sharp contrast from those impersonal Air Force bases where he had grown up. In that world, childhood was practically nonexistent. 'Doing your duty' was the order of the day, and your duty meant that you always did as you were told, no questions asked. In that world, your quarters passed a bi-weekly inspection. Personal belongings were never left strewn about your room, but must always be placed in the appropriate place. Clothes were always pressed and shoes were never without polish. These were the rules that formed the boundaries of his life when he was Jamie's age. Looking back through adult eyes, he now recognized just how formal and structured his upbringing had been.
Lee shook his head sadly, remembering. "It wouldn't be easy, but you'd adjust," he said quietly, wondering for a moment if he was referring to Jamie or himself. "I know how you feel about losing your mom, Jamie, because my parents both died when I was five. I had to go live with my uncle."
Jamie looked at him shyly. "Yeah, mom mentioned something about that."
"She did?"
Jamie nodded. "She told us not to ask you about it."
"Well, I guess she knows it's not something I like to talk about too much," Lee said softly. It was so like Amanda to try to spare his feelings. He looked at Jamie, who had suddenly grown very quiet. "My uncle was in the Air Force and I hadn't seen very much of him," Lee continued, offering up some information. "I grew up all over the world in a lot of different places, wherever he happened to be stationed."
"You must have missed your parents," Jamie added knowingly, trying to think about how he would have felt if that had happened to him.
"I still miss them, Jamie," Lee stated simply. "But life goes on. You're right about everything changing, but you adapt to the changes. So you see, I understand what you're worried about."
"Yeah."
"I wish I could promise you that nothing would ever happen to your mother, but you'd know I'd be lying," Lee continued soberly. "What I can tell you is that your mom and I are both very careful not to take any unnecessary chances."
He took a deep breath before going on. "Jamie, I love your mom very much. I can promise that I will always do my best to make sure nothing happens to her. I give you my word on that."
Jamie nodded again, smiling bashfully at Lee.
"You've had to grow up in a hurry this past year," Lee added, returning Jamie's look. "I guess it was easier for you when you thought your mother worked for a film company, huh?"
"Kind of."
"That's one of the reasons why what we do is so secret. We didn't mean to lie to you. But there are some things we really couldn't tell you. You and Philip probably know more than you should about our jobs."
"Yeah," he agreed with a sigh.
"But you can't go on worrying about this. It doesn't do any good. Maybe you should talk about some of this stuff with Dr. Barr. Have you discussed it with him at all?"
"I haven't told anyone about it."
Lee considered the implication of Jamie's words. Finally speaking his fears aloud was an enormous step for the boy. He felt touched that Jamie had chosen to confide in him. He turned to him once again.
"It doesn't do any good to keep this stuff to yourself," Lee continued somberly. "I do that too, sometimes, so I know what I'm talking about here. It always feels better when you get what's bothering you off your chest. If you ever want to talk about any of this, I'll be happy to listen."
Jamie shook his head, trying to hide his yawn.
Lee looked at him kindly. "Tell you what, we should get some rest. After all, we have a trophy to win tomorrow, don't we?"
"Yeah, we do," Jamie agreed happily.
"Okay. Let's hit the sack."
"Lee," Jamie began as he slowly stood up. He looked down at his stepfather with a timid grin. "You're right, it does feel better to talk about it. Thanks."
* * * * *
"Amanda, this was really nice – much better than a restaurant." Joe smiled as he rose from the table, clearing away the last of the dinner dishes.
"Thanks, Joe. It was nice to have the company."
"Would you like some help with those?" Joe offered, joining her at the sink.
"No, I'm just going to let them soak. Why don't you go on into the family room and sit down? I'll be right there."
Turning off the faucet, Amanda grabbed their wine glasses and the half-empty bottle of the Beaujolais as she followed Joe into the other room. "It looks like we did a pretty good job on this stuff," she grinned as she set the glasses down on the coffee table.
Joe smiled, too, nodding his head in agreement. "It was excellent. And so was dinner."
"It's Lee's favorite," Amanda said, sinking down into the sofa with a yawn. "The wine, not the dinner. Would you like to help me finish this off?" She held the bottle up invitingly.
"I'd better not if I'm going to drive home tonight. I know we all have a pretty civilized relationship, but I'm not sure your husband would appreciate me spending the night."
"Probably not," Amanda said wryly. She refilled her own glass, taking a swallow as she glanced out the window. "It looks cold out there. I hope Lee and Jamie are warm enough."
"I'm sure they'll be okay. Don't they have some sort of Agency training for this sort of thing?" he asked jokingly.
"Yeah, they pretty much cover all contingencies," Amanda smiled in reply. "It's funny, you know…"
"What is?"
Amanda sipped again from her glass, feeling the warmth of the wine flow through her system. "All those years ago, when we first met, I had so many dreams about what my life would be like in the next ten or twenty years – but I never in my wildest dreams pictured myself…"
"As a spy?"
"We don't say 'spy'," she laughed. "But yes…life is strange sometimes, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is," He nodded sadly. "I certainly never thought then that we'd end up divorced." He paused for a minute, deep in thought. "What happened to us, Amanda?"
She sighed as she took another drink. "We just grew apart, I guess. When I think about how young we were…we jumped into everything so quickly. I don't think we ever stopped to talk about what we really wanted out of life. And when you were traveling so much, away for months at a time…it's just hard to make a long distance marriage like that work."
"You're right." He, too, relaxed against the sofa cushions, turning to Amanda with a funny half-smile. "You know, it's strange…when I came back to D. C. a few years ago, I was finally ready to give you everything you'd wanted when we were married…stability, a home, real family life. But it was too late. That's not what you wanted any more. It took me a little while to realize that."
"It's not that I didn't want those things anymore, it's just…"
"That you didn't want them with me," he finished wisely.
She smiled, shrugging slightly as she reached to pull the afghan around her shoulders.
Joe looked at her with a grin. "You don't have to feel uncomfortable, Amanda. Despite my earlier comment, I've really come to terms with you and Lee. I know how you both feel about each other. I saw that first-hand last fall."
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about us from the beginning, that you had to find out they way that you did. Maybe if I'd been honest with you, with all of you, Jamie might have had a little easier time of it."
"What's done is done, Amanda. You can't change it now."
"I know," she said in a small voice. "I really had every intention of telling you. Do you remember last year, when we had that lunch and you told me about you and Carrie?"
"Yes?"
"I had something to tell you that day myself."
Joe shook his head sadly. "That's what you wanted to say?"
"Yeah. But you were so excited about your news that I thought I'd wait a little while longer, for just the right time. It just never seemed to present itself. Then when you and Carrie broke up, I didn't know how to."
"I understand. I didn't make it easy for you, either. I practically told you that I couldn't deal with the news."
"It's difficult news to deal with. I don't know how well I did. It's not easy to hear that someone you've shared a significant part of your life with has moved on." She chuckled softly. "I guess it's kind of an ego thing."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Jealousy is such a complex emotion. There are times I am a little jealous of Lee…but not the way you think," he added quickly. "I'm jealous that he gets to live with the boys and I don't."
"Oh, Joe…"
"That's why tonight, when you told me Lee had taken Jamie on the camping trip, I kind of lost it. I was feeling guilty enough that I'd let Jamie down in the first place. But I shouldn't have made that crack about you and Lee."
She sighed softly. "I said some things I shouldn't have tonight, too."
"No, Amanda, maybe it was time that it was said, time we cleared the air. Obviously I wasn't able to give you what you needed when we were married. I understand you well enough to know that if I had been able to, we would still be together."
"That goes both ways, sweetheart. I don't think I gave you what you needed, either. I know I was pretty stubborn. I guess learning to compromise is something that comes with age." She sighed as she took another sip of wine. "Who can say what went wrong or why. It's nobody's fault. Sometimes things work out for the best, even though it doesn't seem like it at the time."
"You're right about that." Joe rubbed his hand along his forehead, his thoughts turning to his fiancée. She really was a wonderful person, bright, sweet-natured and easy to be with. Since Thanksgiving when they had put their relationship back on track, Carrie had made every effort to really get to know Amanda. Now they had forged the beginnings of a lasting friendship. He was glad that the two most important women in his life had found a way to get along.
Unfortunately, his relationship with Lee Stetson continued to be a little more complicated. He knew this was something he needed to come to terms with, for his sons' sake if not for his own. Some things were much easier said than done, but maybe it was time that he tried.
"You know," Joe began hesitantly, "according to Philip, Lee is the next best thing to superman. He talks about him non-stop. Sometimes I don't know how to compete with all that."
"Oh, Joe, it's not a competition. The boys both love you very much, sweetheart. You don't have to do anything but be their father."
"I know," Joe said stiffly. "But I feel like I've missed so much of their growing up…like you said before, all the birthdays, school plays, and holidays."
Amanda smiled. "I've missed my share of school plays, too. And you've been a big part of their lives since you came back to D. C. That's all that matters now." She gave his arm a tender squeeze. "What we both need to do is to make sure what happened in our past stays in the past. The only thing that matters now is that we both try to be the best parents we can to our sons."
"You're right, the boys need to come first."
"If you had some wine, we could drink to that," she chuckled, picking up her own glass.
"Why don't we shake on it instead?" Joe offered, extending his hand. "To making Philip and Jamie our first priority."
"And to only looking forward, not backward," she added, closing her hand around his affectionately.
They sat quietly together as the flames of the fire died down slowly in the grate. Amanda sipped her wine, glancing at Joe out the corner of her eye. She laughed softly to herself as she watched Joe's profile in the dwindling firelight.
"What's so funny?" Joe asked, leaning back on the sofa.
"This is not exactly how I pictured spending my weekend," Amanda said in amusement. "Sitting here on the couch, drinking this wine with you."
"You had other plans in mind, huh?"
"Yeah, kind of," she replied, blushing slightly.
"Do you remember that time when Jamie was about a year old…"
"And he'd been teething for weeks."
Joe nodded, the years falling away at the recollection. "When we finally got him to sleep, we were so relieved by the peace and quiet that we finished that whole bottle of burgundy wine."
"The 'red stuff'," she added with a smile. "Yeah, I remember. That was right before you took the job with the EAO."
"Yeah," he said, shaking his head sadly. Joe looked away for a minute, then turned back towards his ex-wife, gently taking her hand again in his. "You're really happy now, aren't you Amanda?"
"Yes, Joe. I love Lee very much. We've found something really special together."
"I can tell. There's something in your eyes now…that I never saw when we were together. I just want you to know how glad I am for you…for both of you. All I've ever really wanted was for you to be happy."
"That's all I want for you, too, Joe. You really are a great guy. Carrie is very lucky to have found you."
"I feel lucky to have her, too." He squeezed her hand and rose from the couch, stretching his stiff muscles. "And on that note, it's time I hit the road."
Amanda picked up his coat and slowly walked him to the door. She held his coat open for him, helping him put it on, patting him on the shoulders. "I'll tell Jamie you were here."
He turned to face her, nodding slowly. "Tell Lee thank you for filling in for me."
Amanda smiled silently in reply, understanding how much that had cost him. "Give Carrie my love. And tell her we're looking forward to the wedding in March. If there's anything I can do to help her, you know I'd be happy to."
"I'll tell her." He kissed her on the cheek as he started out the door. "And we'll both see you next Saturday, at the ceremony." He paused for a minute before leaving. "Bye, Amanda."
"Goodbye, Joe." She waited by the door, waving one more time as Joe slid behind the wheel of his car. She watched as he pulled away, his tail-lights fading into the distance. Sighing, she quietly closed the door and locked it.
CHAPTER FIVE
"That's the last of the them," Dotty said as she finished loading the dishwasher.
Amanda nodded distractedly, glancing at the clock on the stove. "I don't know what's keeping Lee and Jamie. I expected them back long before this. It's after eight o'clock."
"I'm sure they're fine, Amanda. Probably trying to thaw out from their weekend in the woods. Why they have these things in the middle of winter, I'll never know."
"It's supposed to be a test of survival skills, Mother. But it isn't usually this cold, even in February."
"Survival is one thing, turning people into Popsicles is another," Dotty said heatedly. "After all, they're just little boys…"
"Oh, it's fun, Grandma," Philip added as he headed into the kitchen. "Mom, can I watch some T.V.? The 'Charlie's Angels' marathon is on."
"Have you done your homework?" his mother asked, looking at him questioningly.
"No, but…"
"Then don't you think you'd better get it finished, Philip?"
"Okay," he mumbled in disappointment, reluctantly heading for his room.
"Can you believe the stuff he wants to watch on television?" Dotty began, shaking her head. "Really, Amanda…"
"Hey, Lee and Jamie are home," Philip called out from the other room. "I think they…"
The rest of his sentence was drowned out by the exuberant sounds of Lee and Jamie's entrance. Philip turned around, heading back into the kitchen with them.
"How was the trip?" Amanda asked brightly, turning in the general direction of the noise.
"Hey, look Mom, they won!" Philip said with a grin, helping Jamie with the trophy he was struggling to carry. "That's so cool."
They put the trophy on the kitchen table and Philip stood back to admire it. "That's much bigger than my third place trophy," he said kindly, as Jamie nodded his agreement.
"First place, Jamie, that's terrific. I knew you could do it," Dotty said in admiration.
"That's wonderful, sweetheart," Amanda said, giving him a hug. "You must have worked really hard to win first place."
"Nah, it was a piece of cake, right Lee?" Jamie said, staring admiringly at his trophy.
"Right," Lee replied with a grin. "All we had to do was read the map."
At the sound of his voice, Amanda turned around with a warm smile, walking over to kiss him hello. "Are you guys hungry? We saved you some dinner."
"No, we stopped at Marvelous Marvin's," he said, returning her kiss.
"Yeah," Jamie put in. "We had Colossus burgers and fries."
"Minus the secret sauce." Lee laughed, rolling his eyes as he noticed Amanda's expression.
"It was great," Jamie beamed.
"You're lucky, we had green beans," Philip muttered under his breath.
"It must have been some weekend," Dotty said, looking at them in amusement. "You two look like you brought home half the woods with you."
"And the other half is in the garage, with our camping gear," Lee chuckled in response.
"Yeah, we got kind of dirty when we took that short cut," Jamie agreed.
"Short cut?" Amanda said, looking at Lee quizzically.
"Ah, it wasn't really a short cut," Lee said quickly.
"Yeah," Jamie answered. "We thought it would take a couple of hours off our time, but after we kept going around in circles…"
"Circles?" his mother repeated.
Jamie nodded. "And then when we had to take that detour because of the lake that wasn't on the map…"
"And you still won?" Philip asked in surprise.
"Yeah, we already had so many points, it didn't matter that we finished late," Jamie said happily.
Amanda raised her eyebrow as she looked at her husband. "Finished late?"
"Uh, just a little," he replied with his most engaging smile.
"Yeah, Mom, but it was okay, we made it in before they called the rescue squad."
"C'mon, Jamie, why don't you hit the showers?" Dotty said, trying not to snicker at the expression on her daughter's face. "They way you look, it may take the rescue squad to get you cleaned up."
"Oh, Grandma…" he began.
"Your grandmother's right, Jamie, you go ahead," Lee said with a smile. "Just don't use all the hot water."
"Okay," Jamie agreed pleasantly.
Amanda listened in surprise to the exchange, noting with satisfaction that this was the first time Lee had sounded like a parent where Jamie was concerned. She shook her head in wonder as she saw Jamie head of to the bathroom without an argument. "I'm glad you won, sweetheart," she called out as he turned to leave. "I'm proud of you."
"Thanks, Mom."
As Jamie went to grab his trophy, Philip picked it up for him. "That's okay, I've got it," he said, helpfully carrying it towards the stairs.
Jamie turned to look at Lee as he headed out of the room. "Thanks, Lee. I had fun."
"Me, too, Jamie."
"I'll get you some extra towels – you're going to need them," Dotty said, smiling to herself as she followed the boys out of the room.
Lee turned towards Amanda with a tired smile. "So, are you proud of me, too?"
Amanda quickly closed the distance between them, putting her hands lightly on his shoulders. "I don't know, Stetson. Short cut? Circles? Rescue squad?"
"Yeah, I think those Junior Trailblazer maps are written in some kind of code," he laughed. "We still won."
"Tell me the truth – did you cheat?"
"Cheat, me? Amanda, how can you even ask that," he answered with a grin. "Don't worry, we won fair and square."
"Uh-huh." She shook her head in mock dismay. "You look beat."
"I am," he yawned. "You were right about those fathers…they're a pretty tough group to break into."
"The film company was a hard sell, huh?"
"One of them actually wanted to discuss the camera angles he'd used in his latest home movie," he grinned. "But I knew I was in big trouble when he told me he'd actually seen IFF's latest documentary."
"'The Life Cycle of the Boll Weevil'?"
"Yeah - you can see now why we won."
"I guess you really did deserve that trophy."
"Jamie can keep the trophy," Lee smiled as he pulled her against him. "I kinda had another reward in mind."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." As he leaned in to kiss her, she pulled back slightly.
"That isn't exactly the reaction I was going for," he teased.
"Lee, you're a mess," she complained, wrinkling her nose in distaste.
He ran his hand over his face. "Don't like the new look?"
"No, mountain men don't appeal to me," she laughed, keeping him at arm's length.
"And this is the homecoming I get after a rigorous weekend in the woods, sleeping on the cold ground, eating roots, drinking from streams…I knew it would happen sooner or later. The honeymoon is really over."
"No, it's not over – let's just say it's on hold until you shave and shower."
Lee yawned sleepily. "I guess I'll go hit the showers then."
"And I'll think about what I can do to reward you for your bravery this weekend…after I see what kind of mess you left in the garage."
Amanda smiled as she watched him head upstairs. She couldn't remember when she'd ever seen Jamie and Lee so relaxed around each other. Things must have gone really well this weekend, she thought with a relieved sigh. She couldn't wait to hear the details. Joe's big case may have turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
She quickly sorted through their camping gear, smiling to herself as her thoughts drifted back over her own weekend. It felt really good to finally talk things through with Joe, yet at the same time, she was filled with an inexplicable sadness. But she knew their talk should have happened a long time ago - it was a sort of closure for their marriage that was long overdue. She still felt a twinge of guilt for leading him on last summer, however unintentionally. She tried not to dwell on how much easier things might have been on everyone if she had kept to her original plan last January and told him the truth about her upcoming elopement. Maybe he and Carrie would be married by now. Joe was a wonderful man – he deserved everything good that life had to offer. She just couldn't be the instrument of his happiness anymore. She fervently hoped he'd finally find what he needed with Carrie.
She glanced at the clock on the stove as she came back into the kitchen. She didn't realize it had gotten so late – she hadn't intended to spend that much time in the garage. Switching off the lights, she headed up the stairs, thankful for her peaceful household. Her mother was already in bed, the muted sounds from the television drifting out from beneath her closed door. She knocked on Philip's room, quickly checking to see that he'd done his homework. Securing his promise that he would indeed finish his algebra papers neatly this time, she said goodnight, stopping in the next room to look in briefly on Jamie. He was already in bed, sound asleep, his glasses flung carelessly on his bedside table and his dirty clothes thrown in a pile in the corner of his room. She pulled the covers up around him, slowly running her hand across his hair. Her baby was certainly growing up, she sighed, her thoughts tinged with sadness. Turning out his light, she headed for her own room.
She opened her bedroom door, her mind turning to the pleasant prospect of Lee's homecoming. She couldn't wait to show him exactly how much she'd missed him this weekend. She closed the door quietly behind her, noting with a smile of anticipation that Lee was already in bed waiting for her.
"You must have really worn Jamie out," she said as she walked toward him with a laugh. "He's in bed, sound asleep, dead to the …" Reaching the bed, she took a closer look at her husband. He, too, was sleeping, snoring lightly, the covers pulled up around his head. And he wasn't much neater than Jamie, she laughed ruefully, as she bent to pick up the clothes he'd dropped in an ignominious heap by the bed.
She bent to kiss him softly on the forehead. "Sweet dreams," she murmured indistinctly against his now smooth cheek. His hair was still damp and he smelled of soap and shampoo. And he was absolutely sound asleep. Sighing softly, she quickly changed her clothes and crawled into bed beside him, snuggling against his warmth and, closing her eyes, drifted pleasantly off to sleep.
* * * * *
Lee opened his eyes, looking at the clock with a start. It read 5:45 a.m., he noticed with bewilderment, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He had been asleep over eight hours? He had just meant to lie down for a minute while he waited for Amanda to join him. Amanda…he quickly rolled over on his back, smiling at his wife who was sleeping soundly next to him, curled up on her left side.
He propped himself up on his elbow to look at her more closely, watching the even rise and fall of her breathing. He marveled at how wonderful it still felt to wake up beside her every morning. After everything they had been through in the past year, he didn't think he'd ever take this simple pleasure for granted. She even looked beautiful in the morning, he thought as he watched her slumber. He carefully placed a small kiss on her shoulder, then pulled back, observing her closely to see if she would stir. She murmured softly, burrowing down deeper under the covers.
He could see that it was going to take some more extensive maneuvering to wake her up. He carefully bent over her, blowing softly in her ear. She mumbled something indistinctly, brushing her hand against her ear as if batting at a fly. He gently pulled back the hair that had fallen in her face as she slept, leaning over her to place a butterfly kiss on her cheek. She sighed contentedly as if enjoying a pleasant dream, hugging her pillow closer to her. Lee leaned back, frowning slightly, contemplating his next move with care.
Amanda buried her face in her pillow, trying to hide her smile. She had been enjoying the last few seconds of deep sleep before Lee's overtures had slowly roused her to consciousness. She lay still, waiting for his next step with eager anticipation.
She didn't have to wait long. His breath warm on her back, he gently pulled back the covers, trailing tiny kisses down her neck and shoulder. Unable to lie still any longer, Amanda reached behind her and grasped his hand, wrapping it tightly around her waist.
"Okay, you win, I give up," she teased, snuggling against him.
"That's what you get for playing possum," he laughed, burying his head in her neck.
"I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine. You couldn't even stay awake for a few measly minutes last night. I come upstairs and what do I find…"
"I'm awake now," he whispered as he pulled her closer. He brushed his lips lightly against her, murmuring a quiet "good morning".
"Good morning to you, too." Amanda answered in a soft voice. "Sleep well?"
"Like a rock."
"What time is it?" she asked sleepily as he rolled on his back, taking her with him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her left arm and leg draped over his body as she pulled herself in closer.
"It's early," he replied, holding her tighter in his arms and kissing the top of her head. "Not quite six o'clock."
"Good."
"Miss me this weekend?"
"Every minute. How did things go with Jamie? I still can't believe you won that trophy."
"Actually, aside from missing you, it was a pretty good weekend."
"I could tell. You two seem much closer. What happened in those woods, anyway?"
"Nothing much," he laughed, gently stroking her arm. "We hiked, we camped, we talked…"
"About?"
"You know, 'guy' stuff." He leaned over and silenced her with a kiss. "I'll tell you later."
"Lee…"
"Let's just say we understand each other a little better now. It's given me a whole new perspective on the wilderness," he said, his hands beginning to gently move over her body.
"Lee, stop teasing and tell me what you talked about," she said, stopping his hand just short of its goal.
"How to build a fire, the best way to stay warm in the wilderness, that kind of stuff, " he grinned.
"You're not going to tell me, are you?"
"Nope. Of course, you could try to torture me," he whispered in a low voice. "I might break under intensive interrogation."
"Oh, yeah? What if I take you camping next week instead of to the island? How's that for torture?"
"Not exactly what I had in mind," he grinned, rolling them both over on their sides so they were facing each other. "Besides, freezing in our long underwear was not exactly how I pictured us spending our second honeymoon."
"Why don't you enlighten me," she suggested, giving up her questioning and finally allowing him to change the subject.
Eyes twinkling, he pulled her closer and whispered lowly in her ear.
"I definitely like the way you think, Stetson," she returned, running her hand slowly up and down his arm.
"I'm glad. Speaking of which, I am sorry about last night. I just meant to lie down for a minute and wait for you, but the next thing I knew, it was morning," he laughed apologetically.
"You're forgiven this time. Of course, you could find a way to make it up to me."
"I thought that's what I've been trying to do. If you'd just stop interrupting me..."
"I'm sorry. I'll give you my undivided attention now, I promise."
He smiled as he looked into her eyes, bringing his lips to hers and kissing her deeply. Somewhere in the distance, he heard the discordant sound of a telephone, but he pushed it from his mind. He vaguely heard Amanda calling his name.
"Lee," Amanda said a second time, pushing him away. "The phone."
"Don't answer it," he breathed, kissing her again.
"It's the business line," she said, breaking the kiss. "We have to answer it."
Lee sighed and rolled on his back, the persistent ring of the phone becoming an annoying wail. He grabbed for it, tersely answering, "Scarecrow."
"Hi, it's me."
"Do you have any idea what time it is, Francine?" Lee demanded, somewhat breathless from his activities.
"I'm sorry, did I, ah, interrupt something?" Francine asked innocently, laughter bubbling behind her words.
"What is it, Francine?" he growled irritably.
"I've got a few things I have to go over for the conference this morning."
"We went over everything on Friday," he said crossly.
"You're not the one I need to talk to, Scarecrow. Could I please speak to my partner?" she asked demurely. "That is, if you're not too busy,"
"Hold on," he replied through gritted teeth, handing the phone to Amanda. "Your partner would like to speak with you."
Amanda took the phone, sitting up and pushing the strap of her nightgown back into place. "Francine? Is there a problem?"
"I'm sorry to intrude on you guys, but I needed to tell you that our meeting at the Regency has been moved up this morning. It's at eight o'clock now, not nine-thirty."
"And you waited until now to tell me?"
"I meant to call you last night," Francine answered apologetically.
Amanda gripped the phone tightly in exasperation, ignoring Lee as she tried to concentrate on what Francine was saying.
"Jonathan dropped by," her partner prattled on. "And…Amanda, he asked me to marry him."
"What did you say?" Amanda asked with a smile, hearing the answer already in her voice.
"I told him yes. That's why I didn't call. I'm really sorry."
"No, it's okay."
"Do me a favor, will you? Don't tell Lee. I want to tell him myself, in person. I want to see the look on his face."
"Okay. You know how I feel about it," she said vaguely, trying not to spoil Francine's surprise. "I've got to get moving. I'll see you at eight." Leaning over Lee, she hung up the phone.
He put his arms around her, holding her tightly in his embrace. "What was that all about?"
"Oh, nothing, just business," she teased, smiling softly, planting a small kiss on his lips. "I've got to go."
"Just business and you've got to go?" he said skeptically as he held her tighter in his arms. "That's supposed to be my line."
She pulled herself away from him, struggling to get up. "C'mon, Lee, I'm not kidding. I have to shower and pack for this conference and meet Francine at eight at the conference center."
"Amanda…"
"It's work, you know that."
"Yeah, I know that. And I know that you'll be spending the next two nights with Francine at the Regency," he moaned, pulling the pillow over his head. "I'm beginning to think there's some kind of conspiracy to keep us apart."
"Just keep your mind focused on next week like I plan to do," she said as she bent to kiss him lightly. "I've got to jump into the shower."
"I could scrub your back," he offered with a seductive smile.
"You know full well if you get in that shower with me I'll never get out on time."
"There's nothing I can do for you?" he tried one more time.
"Actually…"
"Yes?" he said expectantly.
"You could drop the boys at school for me this morning," she smiled archly. "It'll give you and Jamie a chance to talk about more 'guy' stuff."
"Not exactly what I had in mind," he grinned. "But okay - my meeting isn't until nine."
"I'm sorry about this morning," she said, leaning against the bathroom door. "In five days we'll have a whole week all to ourselves."
"Hold that thought," he rejoined, smiling at her from across the room. "Hurry up, get your shower before I lose control and you miss your meeting." Sighing, he pulled the covers up over his head.
With a wistful look at Lee, Amanda headed into the bathroom.
To be continued…
