A/N: Hi! So I haven't posted ANYTHING from A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones before so I'm pretty nervous. It's been about three years since I last used my account for anything but reviewing and PMing. Thanks to Frozen862 and Veridissima who pointed out that this needed editing. Well, I've edited :D

Ned Stark would rather be dead. He'd rather gouge his own eyes out. He'd rather shoot his balls off.

ANYTHING but this.

With Catelyn visiting her sister in the Vale with Bran and Rickon, Sansa at Highgarden with Margaery and Robb, Jon and Theon living at University, Ned was the only one to endure this torture. Across from him sat his seventeen-year-old daughter, dressed only in her dressing gown, and next to her, the tall black haired man that Ned didn't even know the name of, thankfully fully dressed.

Really, Ned had trusted Arya to be responsible while everyone was gone. He'd given her a rough time he would be home from King's Landing and he left money for her in case she wanted takeaway.

He had expected to come home to a relatively clean (possibly trashed) house with his little girl running to give him a hug and chattering about her time alone.

What he didn't expect was to walk in on his little girl crying out as she rode a man he had never met before on the living room couch. Ned winced at the image that popped into his mind, the reason he wanted to poke his eyes out.

Arya had noticed him and her eyes had gone wide as she moved and head-butted the man who had then noticed him as well. There had been a short, strained silence before Ned closed his eyes and went to his study to drown out what he had seen and heard.

Now, he was sitting across from the pair, wondering how on earth he was going to handle this situation. His wife would be so much better at handling this than he, but she was in the Vale for another two days. There was nothing else for it.

"What is your name?" Ned asked coldly.

"Gendry Waters," the man, Gendry, replied, unable to meet his eyes. This is good, Ned thought. Instill some fear into the man.

"And how old are you?"

"Twenty-two, Sir."

"And you are aware of my daughter's age?"

"Yes, sir."

"You are aware she has just turned seventeen?"

"Yes," Gendry answered. Ned was pleased to note that Gendry was shaking.

"So you know that what you and she were doing is illegal-"

"Dad!" Arya groaned. "Leave him alone!"

"I'm wondering how you know a man five years your senior," Ned said to Arya and she promptly blushed. Ned revelled in her embarrassment.

"Through friends," she answered and Ned knew that was a blatant lie. He had a fair idea of where he rebelling child and this man had met.

"Friends at that pub you sneak off to?" he asked and Arya looked at him in shock. Got you, Ned thought. I'm not as stupid as you think I am.

"I-"

"How long has this been happening?" Ned interrupted.

"The relationship or the fucking?" Arya asked dryly, regaining her composure. Ned knew she had said that to pay him back and make him squirm. Nevertheless, he blushed at her words. Arya answered her own question. "The fucking has been for six months or so. The relationship has been for a month." Ned was struck dumb at Arya's admission of having casual sex with an older guy and he seriously considered just letting her be and drinking away his sorrows at what he had discovered, or beating said guy into a pulp and pressing charges.

"It's his place you've been going to when you say you're going to a friend's?" Ned asked and Arya snorted.

"Obviously," she answered. Gendry seemed to relax slightly as he let Arya take control. Ned turned to him just so he could watch him squirm.

"So you have been sleeping with my daughter since she was sixteen," he stated. Gendry gulped and nodded. "You were always aware of her age." Again, Gendry nodded.

"I wouldn't say we actually sleep," Arya said sarcastically and a thousand and one images of her and Gendry in compromising positions on different surfaces and in different places bombarded Ned's mind and he abruptly stood and left.

"Ned?" Catelyn answered on the third ring.

"I need you to come home," Ned said, his voice cracking.

"Why?" Catelyn asked.

"She's done it Cat," Ned sobbed into the phone.

"Done what?" Catelyn asked.

"She's done it!" Ned shouted into the phone.

"What has she done?" Catelyn asked and Ned groaned at the idea of saying it.

"She's had sex!" he cried, his composure beyond repair.

"Did you catch them too, then?" Catelyn asked calmly.

"You knew?" Ned spluttered. "When?"

"I walked in on them in her bedroom," Catelyn said, nonplussed. "A month ago."

"That's when they…"

"Got together officially?" Catelyn suggested. "Yes, they thought that would be the best idea."

"How are you so calm about this?" Ned shouted.

"She loves him," Catelyn answered. "I daresay he feels the same for her."

"She's seventeen!"

"Yes."

"It's against the law!"

"That never stopped me and your brother," Catelyn said dryly before hanging up.

Ned gaped, grabbed a large bottle of whiskey and sat at his desk, pretending not to hear his teenage daughter lead her adult boyfriend upstairs and intending to drink away his sorrows so he could pretend this was all a nightmare.