Okay, so this parody will be really long, if enough people are interested.

Oh, and the elvish is the same as in the movie. I'm not going to try and translate it.

If you are a dentist, might not like this. Dentists will be insulted. And probably die.

Disclaimer: If I owned this, there would be a movie.

Oh, and the following chapters are a lot better than this one.

The Lord of the Braces

Scene 1 ~ Prologue: One Pair of Braces to Rule Them All...

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

I amar prestar aen (The floss is changed).
Han mathon ne nen (I feel it in the mouthwash)
Han mathon ne chae (I taste it in my toothpaste)
A han noston ned gwilith (I smell it in your mouth.)
Much that once was is lost. For none now live who remember it.

A forge appears where someone is forging some braces.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

It began with the forging of the Great Braces.

Three mouths are shown.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

Three were given to the elves. (Galadriel looks at her mouth in the mirror. Gil-Galad and Cirdan are behind her looking at theirs.) Immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.(seven braces are given to the dwarves) Seven to the dwarf lords, great brewers and craftsmen of the coffee shops. (The camera moves back and focuses in on nine men with braces looking at themselves in a mirror) And nine, nine braces were gifted to the race of men. Who above all else, desire perfect teeth. (They fade away to a black screen.)

Changes to show a map of Middle Earth.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

For within these braces was bound the strength and will to make candy for each race. (The map moves towards Dentistdor) But they were all of them deceived. (Black screen.)For another pair of Braces was made. (Map reappears showing Dentistdor.) In the land of Dentistdor, (Mount Orthopedic appears on the screen.) in the fires of Mount Orthopedic, (Changes to show Head Dentist wreathed in flames.) the dark Head Dentist forged in secret a master pair of Braces (shows Head Dentist in full armour holding the Braces.) to control all others and into this pair of Braces he poured all his cruelty, his toothpaste (fire moves across the screen and the Braces appear spinning over and over.) and his will to dominate all teeth. (Shows Head Dentist's mouth with the One Pair of Braces on it.) One Pair of Braces to Rule them all.

The scene changes to show the map of Middle Earth again. Scenes of strife and war fade in behind the map…

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

One by one the free teeth of Middle Earth fell to the power of the Braces. But there were some who resisted. (Changes to show soldiers advancing on a battlefield.) A last alliance of Elves and Men marched against the armies of Dentistdor. And on the slopes of Mount Orthopedic they fought for the freedom of Middle Earth.

We see the armies of dentists battling with the armies of Elves and Men.

ELCHOCOLATE:

Tangado haid! (Hold positions!)

The Elves bring up their shields.

ELCHOCOLATE:

Leithio i philinn! (Throw candy!)

The Elves throw candy into the ranks of dentists. The dentists advance and the Elves bring up their candy bars to slash into the front line. The battle ensues and is very fierce. We see Gil-Galad spear an dentist on the ground with a Mounds bar. Elendil brandishes a Heath Toffee Bar.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

Victory was near. (Elchocolate stops fighting, Elendil stops fighting, they look up in fear.) But the power of the Braces (The Head Dentist steps onto the battlefield with the Braces in his mouth) could not be undone.

The Elves and Men back off looking fearful. The Head Dentist comes forward. He swings his dental pick scattering Men and Elves all over the field. Elendil moves forward to try to engage him, but he is thrown away by the pick. He crumples against the rock, dropping the heath bar.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

It was in this moment, (Isildur moves towards his father, takes his helmet off and holds Elendil to him.) that Isildur, son of the King, took up his father's candy bar.

Isildur looks up at the Head Dentist and dives for the toffee bar. The Dentist stamps on it breaking it. He makes a grab for Isildur who swipes at his mouth with the broken bar, breaking the teeth with the Braces on it. The Braces fall to the ground. Elendil opens his eyes and looks at it in astonishment. Isildur looks up at the Head Dentist who begins to glow brighter and brighter. There is a massive explosion sending a shock wave all across the armies, knocking the soldiers from their feet. The Head Dentist's mouth mask floats to the ground.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

The enemy of the Free Teeth of Middle Earth was defeated. (Isildur picks up the Braces and looks at them.) The Braces passed to Isildur.(The teeth disintegrate leaving just the Braces and some ash in his hand.) Who had this one chance to destroy evil forever. (The scene changes to Isildur riding through some woods on a horse.) But the teeth of Men are easily corrupted.(The Braces are shown on a chain around Isildur's neck) And the Braces of Power have a will of their own.

Isildur and his men are ambushed by some dentists. Isildur is knocked off his horse. The dentists attack his men and brush their teeth. He pulls the Braces off their chain and puts them on. He disappears instantly. As the battle continues he runs and dives into the river, but as he is swimming the Braces fall out of his mouth revealing him to his enemies. He grabs for it but misses it.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

It betrayed Isildur (he gets shot in the back by arrows.) to his death. (He floats off down the river and the Braces sinks to the riverbed. As it sinks…) And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. (Black screen.) History became legend, legend became myth, (the screen shows the river wreathed in mist.) and for two and a half thousand years the Braces passed out of all knowledge. (Changes to show the Braces partly buried in the silt at the bottom of the River.) Until, when chance came (a hand appears and grabs the Braces) It ensnared a new bearer. (A dirty mouth opens to reveal the Braces.)

GOLLUM:

My Precious!

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

The Braces came to the creature Gollum who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. (Mountains are shown.) And there it consumed him.

Scene changes to the underground passages of the mountains, showing bits of fish sticks all around the ground. The camera moves up to show Gollum crouched on a rock in the centre of a lake.

GOLLUM:

It came to me, my own, my love, my own, my Precious.

He hears a sound and grabs the Braces to him looking around.

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

The Braces brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years it straightened his teeth. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave it waited. (Black screen. A silver full moon appears.) Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumour grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a straight-toothed fear. (The river is shown again with ripples moving outwards as Galadriel speaks.) And the Braces of Power perceived. (A sunrise is shown.) Its time had now come. (The Braces are falling down a rock tinkling as it falls.) It abandoned Gollum. (Black screen.) But something happened then that the Braces did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. (The Braces are on the ground. A hand gropes and picks it up.)

BILBO:

What's this?

GALADRIEL VOICE OVER:

A Hobbit. Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. (He picks the Braces up and looks at them)

BILBO:

BRACES! (He smiles).

GOLLUM:

(Wailing) Lost! (Bilbo stands up and listens. He puts the Braces in his pocket.) My Precious is lost.

The scene changes to show clouds over the mountains.

GALADRIEL:

For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.

End scene 1

Someone said I should put more variants into this. I will try to made the next chapters better. If anyone has any ideas, please review or pm me.😁 If your interested, please say something. It will get crazier later on...