I want to say sorry for the long wait and my lack of attendance on this site. School's been a pain in the ass. Thank God I'm close to graduation, eh?

Also, I want to thank aussiemma for BETA-ing this for me. She's amazing. Speaking of A-amazing, I present to you: The Earl Of Sandwich. Check them both out if you haven't yet. But you probably already did since I'm sorta late to the game…I've been quite tardy lately haven't I? :/

Warning: Cursing & Sexual Content. (I'm a teenager who loves expressing her feelings through writing. Cut me some slacks will you.)


Miss & Hit

By, iLuvNathanKrEsS

(how do you not get tired of my overly-cliché heading?)


I was thinkin about her
thinkin about me
thinkin about us
what we gunna be
open my eyes...
it was only just a dream


Her waiting at his locker after dismissal has been a tradition of theirs since third grade. Him taking approximately five minutes (sometimes more) to get his chiz out of his locker has also been a tradition of theirs. It never bothered her so much until today. Her complaining made Freddie take even longer because she would distract him from thinking about which binder or text book he needed to take home with him that afternoon. He didn't even understand why she had to wait for him, even after their disastrous break up a few weeks ago she had met him at his locker so they could walk together to the flagpole, but not two words were exchanged.

"Freddie, hurry up before I break this piece of shit with my bear hands." She was referring to his beat up locker that he'd owned for the past five years. Ridgeway's interior design had started rusting last year when Principal Franklin, the board of education, the state of Washington, and of course, the staff, couldn't afford to remodel the school. The blue paint (which was once shiny and actually blue) had begun to peel, revealing a dungy silver color with some brown and faint scratches all around it.

"Just give me a minute, will you?" He picked up a black binder and began flipping through the papers in it.

"Why don't you just write all your homework down in your planner or passport or agenda or whatever you nerds call it these days?" Freddie responded to Sam's insult with a simplecold stare.

"You ripped it up remember?"

Sam rolled her eyes as she remembered the day she ran into his room destroying every piece of schoolwork on his desk, ripping it all up into tiny pieces. Tears and several colorful profanities spilling out recklessly, painfully, from the moment she'd witnessed her boyfriend making out with some girl on the softball to that very moment in his bedroom.

He turned back to look into his notebook and after a minute or two, tossed it inside, "Plus, I can't get one until the school can afford to make more." Fuck you economy.

"And you can't go out and buy one on your own time why?"

Freddie slammed his locker, pre-setting his lock so he wouldn't be late for first period tomorrow.

"'Cause school is almost over, and I ain't spending my money on something I'll only use for like two months." He tightened his grip on the front of his backpack and began walking ahead of Sam. She followed behind.

Julie, Freddie's girlfriend, always stayed after school for practice so it was safe for Sam to be hanging out with Freddie. Although, school was a dangerous place, and always pulled tricks on you at the least expected moment, so just to be safe, Sam maintained her distance. Even if Sam had Freddie before Julie, she played fair. Samantha was abrasive but Sam was no bitch.

Sometimes.

"Wait here, I have to tell Julie something." Sam stopped dead in her tracks as she watched him pick up his pace and run into the gym room just a couple meters ahead.

"Well, hurry up dumbo, or we're going to be late for the bus."

Dumbo? Really, Sam? She tossed her book bag against the wall and slumped down, bringing her knees against her chest. She tapped her fingers on her jeans creating a random beat as she waited…and waited…and—

She raised an eyebrow as she stared at a janitors closet just down the hall. They made out in that closet once. Sam rolled her eyes. That was back when they were still stuck on honeymoon island. Making out, playful punches, he grabs her hand, pulls her body flush against his, pecks her cheek, making out in his room, him wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, bringing her closer to him, making her giggle by him nuzzling in the crook of her neck.

Sam's nose wrinkled. Just thinking about it made her want to vomit.

Then her eyes softened, she couldn't believe that all those moments could literally be thrown into a box labeled "Once before. Never again." in the back of her mind. He was such a waste of her time. Thinking about the time they got to third/fourth base, she couldn't even believe she'd let him touch her like that. Bastard. But then she called herself a bastard too, she was stupid enough to still be his friend and to make a pact that they'd be best friends and put everything behind them.

But it wasn't that easy. The feelings were still there, they both knew it to be true. Sam knew he still cared about her intimately, she just never understood why he would cheat on her. He claims Julie kissed him first, but how could that be true if he's still with Julie? I.e.: meeting her at softball practice after school. Maybe he liked his kiss with Julie…maybe Julie was second best. Maybe Sam was so stubborn to take him back that he thought "What the heck. Julie's hot. You lose you win."

Sam twisted her neck around, stretching the tense muscles, probably created from the thoughts she promised herself to never think about again.

"Kay." She sharply turned to see him walking towards her, stretching his arm out for her to take. She looked at his hand then back at his face. She could tell how the one side of his polo collar was sticking up while the other was down, some pink lip-gloss smeared across his lips.

Crack.

She blinked quickly a few times and cleared her throat before pulling herself off the floor, "Not thanks, I got it."

When they reached the flagpole, Sam had given him a look. A look he had lived long enough to know well-too well.

"I—"

"Don't!" she raised a warning finger.

"I didn't mean—"

"Oh, shut the hell up Benson!" His eyes widened slightly, "You take an hour just to get your stuff out of your locker, then you make out with what's-her-face for two hours, yeah right, like you didn't see this coming."

"Hey! Don't blame this on Julie."

Sam glared at the sky and mouthed 'Oh my God' trying her best to compose herself and not jump on him and claw him to pieces like a damn cheetah. Instead of cursing up a storm about the innocent (bullshit) 18 year old softball player, she managed to growl, "I am hungry. I want to go home. You shut up and stay here." She then walked past him and headed for the double doors.

Freddie didn't mean for them to miss the bus. So he took a little longer than planned at his locker, and maybe he didn't mean to have a one-sided heated relationship with Julie's lips. He also didn't mean for Sam to be extra cranky today out of all days. Screw that, Sam wasn't acting cranky, she was being herself.

Freddie spun around on his feet to look at Sam who was banging on the glass window, "Sam, what are you doing?"

She gave the door a violent kick before groaning out loud, "Damn you, school! That's right just forget about your students and that we even exist! That's right, you don't need to help us. Leave us here to rot to death on your tainted-with-hatred-for-minors green grass!"

He rolled his eyes at how she could be so dramatic when she wanted to, "Sam, don't blame the school either." She gave the locked door another kick before running up to him.

"I can blame anyone or anything for whatever reason I want, so you just stay out of this!" Freddie looked at her eyes and she knew that he knew she wasn't just talking about the school being locked. His eyes softened and he licked his lips as his eyes drifted to her own. Sam caught this and quickly broke the stare-down and pulled her phone out of her back pocket.

"Here. Call your mom. Ask her to come pick us up." She looked up at the sky as she felt a strong wind come through. It was going to rain. Great.

"I could've just gotten my own phone out."

"Just call!" She shouted at him. He looked at her in disgust before snatching the phone from her, "Don't give me an attitude."

"Are you PMSing or something?" he asked looking for the name 'Crazy' in Sam's contact list.

"I'm shocked you even know what that means."

"Oh, God, you know, you didn't even have to wait for me at the locker. Why do you bother anyway?" He put the phone to his ear. Another wind blew causing some of his hair to fall on his forehead.

Sam crossed her arms, "And that's suppose to mean…?"

"Why do you still hang out with me?" His yelling made her cringe. That and his harsh behavior. He continued to stare at her, part of him regretting what he said, the other contemplating: why did she still hang out with him?

"She's not picking up."

"Oh great, just absolutely great!" She took the phone from him and put it back in her pocket. She felt a few droplets of rain on her hand as she sat down on the grass and tossed her backpack to the side. Freddie fell down next to her.

The warmth of his body radiating off hers made her tremble. It was the wind she told herself.

Freddie wished that someday Sam would soon realize the mistake she made- for not believing him. He wanted to stay in a relationship with her more than anything in his life, he knew after the day they broke that in the future they would be together again, by faith or something totally different he didn't give a damn, he just knew. They were meant to be each other's first kiss, each other's first love, each other's first time, and each other's first heartbreak for a special reason. They just needed time. Maybe…he shook the thought from his mind.

He turned to her and saw her playing with her shoelace, "I'm literally dying of hunger and it's all your fault."

But how could that all be true if she was so stubborn?

"You know what?" He quickly stood up, brushing the dirt off his pants; he stared down at her and saw her looking back at him in confusion and curiosity. Suddenly, a downpour came down on them, they both rushed under a nearby tree to hide from the Seattle rain. They both looked down at their wet attire and Freddie's eyes drifted to his backpack he left in the rain, "Ah! Fuck my life!" he shouted over the loud rain. He heard Sam chuckle, "This isn't funny! I'm going to need to buy a new backpack."

"No you wont, just put it next to a heater and it'll be just fine."

"It's not that simple, I had other important stuff in there too!" He was about to run out there before Sam pulled on his arm making him bump back into her, slamming her into the tree. Sam looked down in shock as her breasts literally pressed against his drenched shirt. Freddie gasped as their bottom halves brushed together. Sam smirked, "I almost forgot you had one."

Freddie went from shock to anger in a matter of seconds, "You know what, Sam? Suck my dick."

"Been there. Done that."

He frowned and wrinkled his nose, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks, "Ugh. Don't remind me."

"Hey! You're the one who brought it up. Just like the Julie thing." She turned her head to the side and looked him up and down.

Freddie gaped at her and swallowed hard before looking down, "How can you just talk like that, like nothing you say has any affect on me?

"'Cause like I care how you feel?" she spat glaring at him in hatred, "Like you're any better anyway."

"Oh really? How's that?"

If possible, she moved up even closer to him, "Now look who's the one who doesn't think about my feelings."

He saw a look of sadness flick across her face, "Look, I didn't –"

Now she just looked hurt, "No, you see, you did. You say everything as if I don't give a damn. I'm not invincible. Even Chuck Norris has to die sometime you know?"

A gasp escaped his lips as he looked at her in disbelief. How dare she say such a thing about one of his most admired?

She rolled her eyes at his childish ways, "Okay, sorry for breaking your little dorky heart. Mr. Norris is…immortal." She added air quotes around the word and added a dramatic eyebrow raise.

He stared at her again, the way that made her feel uncomfortable, especially the way they were pressed together like this. It reminded her of too many memories from when they were in love. Let's face it, they were still in love.

Freddie puckered his lips when he looked at hers, "…apology accepted." Next he looked deep into her blue eyes, "Now you," he narrowed his eyes,"just have to accept mi—" Both instantly knew what he was referring to and Sam pushed him away from her. They swore to never bring up the subject ever again. Maybe in their own mind they could but not to each other.

"No, would you just stop? I'm never going to forgive you, get over it!"

"…" Blank was his expression. He saw how angry she looked and damned himself for thinking that this would have been a good time to bring the subject about them back up, "I'm wet."

She groaned at his randomness and twisted her head to look away from him, "That's what she said."

"Nobody says that anymore you outdated fool."

Sam laughed out loud at him saying the word 'fool'. Dating Sam hadreally changed him…

Freddie moaned to himself and brought his hand to his forehead when he remembered he had a bio project to finish. He then laughed incredulously at the situation they were both stuck in.

"Fuck this, I'm walking home."

He pushed his hand off the tree, turning himself around to the school lawn, and he ran to get his backpack. Sam's mouth was open wide in surprise at his sudden motions and yelled over the rain, "Well thanks for inviting me to join you!"

He grabbed his soaked bag and shouted back at her, "Like I wanted you to!"

She didn't care if she got super wet, maybe even catch Pneumonia, she needed to yell at him, teach that kid a lesson.

"Okay, first off Benson, when did you turn into such an ass? Second, you're seriously going to leave me here? I thought you cared about me? Isn't that what you always said? You always said that you would be there for me and never let anything hurt me? So you're saying that if I just stayed here, hungry, vulnerable, in the pouring freezing rain that you wouldn't give a fuck about me? Huh? Is that true?"

Freddie pulled on his hair with one of his hands and stared down at the floor, "First off, it was the day I kissed that hoe and saw you cry. Second, what do you think?" It was after he answered that he really got to think about the questions she asked. Yes, he had remembered promising her all those things, but he didn't want to remember it. Something in his throat suddenly became dry, he knew deep down what was to come but he didn't want to. At least, not in front of her. He looked up and couldn't help but catch a glimpse of the necklace he gave to her on their second date still around her neck, safely tucked under her shirt. He needed to make sure they were on the same page. "Have I ever lied to you before?" She saw the rain droplets all around his eyes that were fixated around her neck.

It wasn't rain droplets…

She opened her mouth to say something, and when nothing came out, he scoffed and turned to walk home. He quickly wiped the tears that had started to form in his eyes, but he didn't know why he even bothered if it was raining. Suddenly, he felt a cold shaking hand on his bare bicep.

"Don't deny it because you know you have."

Then it was like all the tears he wiped away had made a come back, and it clogged his throat, and he couldn't breathe anymore. She didn't make him cry the day she broke up with him, but how was right now any worse? It was because she was right. They both knew she was, and he couldn't handle the guilt. This-their situation-it was his fault.

"Screw you." Sobbing wouldn't help the situation.

Or maybe… "Are—are you…crying?"

She had walked around him to stare him dead in the eye. He didn't break the eye contact this time. She needed to see how he felt about all this. That she wasn't the only one heartbroken, or the only one who knew them splitting up had been a terrible mistake, "What do you think, Sam?" more tears escaped.

She reached her hand out to touch his face and wipe away the tears, but more fell the moment she touched him. She leaned all the way in and just rested her forehead against his and let him cry. And she watched as he did, and that's how she knew he really was sorry, and that she would always belong to him.

"I-" hiccup, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I cheated on you, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I ruined our friendship, our relationship, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he repeated it over and over again until he finally ran out of breath and she had to shush him.

"Shh…it's okay…hey," he stopped crying and was now only sniffling, the rain slowed down as he did so, "Look at me." He did and she saw the forgiveness cross his face. She looked at his lips, "I'm going to kiss you now…but you have to promise me…don't you dare hurt me ever again." She whispered.

He nodded slowly and chocked out, "I promise."

He responded hungrily, he missed her kisses. The moment her tongue entered his mouth, he knew he would never regret letting her be the first girl to ever take his virtue.


They were meant to be each other's first kiss, each other's first love, each other's first time, and each other's first heartbreak-for a special reason.