Jigglypuff's Babysitting Service
By Hoogiman
Jigglypuff! A beloved and puffball-like Pokemon puffball smasher! Adored by all fans, she is the crowd favourite at all tournaments regardless of her placing.
But what does she do in her spare time for fun? Well of course, she is a babysitter!
Mission One: The Brentsons
"Hey Jigglypuff!" boasted Nana to Jigglypuff inside the compounds of the Smash Mansion.
"Yes?" replied Jigglypuff in a sweet, angelic voice.
"Guess what I'm doing tonight?" said Nana.
"Oh… gee…" said Jigglypuff in a particularly jolly voice, thinking so hard that if all of her thinks were placed in a bag you'd get a rather large thinkbag. "I have no idea, Nana! What are you doing tonight that is of such an important matter that you must boast about it in such an auspicious manner, you swell cowgoat?"
"I'm babysitting the Brentsons!" cheered Nana.
"Yay!" cheered several people standing near Nana.
"But… but…" said Jigglypuff in disbelief, "But I'm a babysitter and I have no-one to babysit tonight!"
"I guess you just won't have anyone to babysit while I will!" said Nana, "I guess that's just tough on your part!"
"Not on my watch!" sneered Jigglypuff angrily.
"Oh really? What are you going to do?" said Nana, chuckling. "Threaten me?"
Jigglypuff tied Nana to a chair and nailed her arms to the wall.
"No!" said Jigglypuff wittily, "I'll babysit the Brensons while you stare in disbelief!"
"Haha! You may have nailed my arms to the wall, but you'll never find out the place that I am going to babysit!" said Nana.
"NUUEZ!" screamed Jigglypuff.
"Hahaha!" cackled Nana evilly.
"NUUEZ!" screamed Jigglypuff.
"Hahaha!" cackled Nana evilly.
"NUUEZ!" screamed Jigglypuff.
"Hahaha!" cackled Nana evilly.
"Wait, you're nailed to a wall!" cackled Jigglypuff.
"NUUEZ!" screamed Nana.
"Well you'll never find out where I'm babysitting!" cackled Nana.
Nana's phone rang.
…
Jigglypuff picked up the phone.
"Hello?" said a voice on the other end very loudly so that Nana could hear.
"Hello!" said Jigglypuff cheerfully.
"Hello, I'm Mr. Brentson! I am calling to confirm you Nana as our babysitter!" said the voice on the other end.
"Oh good!" said Jigglypuff in a jolly accent, "I shall be coming over tonight! Say! Where is the address?"
Nana gritted her teeth.
"Oh, it's at Three Palm Grove!" replied the voice.
Nana gritted her teeth.
"Actually, it's right across the street, so if somebody nailed you to a wall and stole your appointment and money you could watch it all happen from the window!" said the voice.
Nana gritted her teeth.
"Yay!" said Jigglypuff.
Nana gritted her teeth.
"Now off to my babysitting!" said Jigglypuff in a cheerful voice.
Jigglypuff skipped out of the room.
"Maybe I should do something about the bleeding," said Nana, noticing her hands nailed to the wall.
"Popo!" shouted Nana, "Get me off this wall!"
"I can't!" said Popo angrily, several metres away, "Because you nailed me to the wall this morning!"
"Well you'll never get out!" teased Nana.
"You'll never get out either!" said Popo angrily.
…
"Boy, I am so close to getting some nails and-"
"You already have!" said Popo angrily.
"Oh," said Nana.
…
"Well ha," said Nana.
"You're nailed to the wall as well!" said Popo angrily.
"Drat!" said Nana.
This carried on for several more days.
At the Brenson's House…
Jigglypuff walked in the door.
"Hello Nana!" said Mr. Brentson.
"Hello!" said Jigglypuff. "But I'm not Nana!"
"Then I'm forced to call the-"
"HAHAHA!" cackled a hysterical Jigglypuff, "It was a joke! I am Nana!"
"Oh," chuckled Mr. Brentson, "Well, here are the two kids, Toby and Phil, 3 and 2 respectively."
"Okay," said Jigglypuff.
"I'll only be out for thirty minutes, they must be in bed when I'm back, okay?" said Mr. Brentson.
"Sure thing!" said Jigglypuff.
Mr. Brentson walked out of the house.
…
Jigglypuff sat on the kitchen counter in a relaxed fashion.
Toby shyly walked up to Jigglypuff. "Excuse me…"
"INTRUDER!1" screamed an alarmed Jigglypuff, frothing at the mouth violently, throwing the child in the oven.
…
"Let me out!" cried the child.
Jigglypuff smiled dumbly into blank space.
"Let me out!" cried the child.
Jigglypuff smiled dumbly into blank space.
"Let me out!" cried the child.
Jigglypuff smiled dumbly into blank space.
Mr. Brentson came back in.
"That was twenty-nine minutes and thirty seconds shorter than expected!" said Mr. Brentson.
Mr. Brentson stared in shock as he saw his child in the oven.
"YOU MONSTER!" screamed Mr. Brentson, reaching for the pepper spray in his pocket.
"Calm down, your child is in the oven and…"
"What child?" said Mr. Brentson confused, "I'm talking about how you left the oven light on. It's a waste of electricity, and it puts an extra two dollars onto our bill!"
Jigglypuff and Mr. Brentson chuckled heartily.
…
"But seriously, your child is in the…"
"No it's not!" said Mr. Brentson, chuckling.
Jigglypuff laughed.
"But seriously, your child is in the…"
"No it's not!" said Mr. Brentson, chuckling.
Jigglypuff laughed.
"But seriously, your child is in the…"
"HE'S NOT THERE!" screamed Mr. Brentson, frothing at the mouth.
"Okay, okay…" said Jigglypuff defensively.
Jigglypuff noticed it was actually a chicken that was in the oven.
"Wait… that's not Toby…" said Jigglypuff, confused.
Jigglypuff looked at a rake on the other side of the room.
"And that's not Phil! That's a rake!" said Jigglypuff, confused.
…
…
"So it is…" said Mr. Brentson.
…
"So you don't actually have any kids?" said Jigglypuff, backing for the door slowly.
"Don't go through that door!" cackled Mr. Brentson. "It's a fake as well!"
"But… but…" said Jigglypuff hyperventilating, "I swear I went through that door…"
"You're becoming crazy too!" laughed Mr. Brentson.
"Aaah! Aah!" screamed Jigglypuff, running around in circles.
"Now… TO KILL YOU!" cackled Mr. Brentson.
Mr. Brentson reached for the knife and…
Jigglypuff grabbed the rake in self-defense and…
Ike walked in.
"Hey, it's Ike!" said Mr. Brentson.
"Ooh! Let's take our anger out on him!" said Jigglypuff.
"Now, now, now," said Ike, waving a finger. "I talk to birds!"
They slaughtered him to death, his internal organs splattering over various appliances inside the kitchen.
"Wow, Ike's dead!" said Mr. Brentson.
They stared at his mangled corpse.
Jigglypuff said, "Well, I guess that means that Marth and Roy are in the new game after all!"
"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!" laughed Mr. Brentson.
"Tee, hee, hee!" laughed Jigglypuff.
"Bwah, bwah, bwah…" went the comedy trumpets.
The End
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