The 5 steps.
1. Denial and Isolation
'It isnt over' I thought as I sat in my room alone. 'He still loves me' I thought more hugging my pillow. 'It's all a dream , and in 10 seconds I'll wake up finding him next to me' i thought more. 'He's playing a prank on me.' I encouraged myself.
1 hour later.
I have 20 unchecked messages. All of them from him with only one from her saying that she didnt intend for it to happen. This wasn't over . He still loved me , and I still loved him. I couldnt stand to be around people anymore. They all just look at me I think . They think I'm crazy probably. I really dontfeel like any communication with the world at the moment.
What else could I do really at the moment? So I just sit here waiting for him to call saying that it was a joke and he was not breaking up with me.
2. ANGER! 2 weeks later.
'Im sick of this!' my mind ranted after seeing them kiss for what the 10th time today. Just to see her lips on his made me angry and sick. She would just stand there and giggle , while his hand was on her lower back. I gripped on to the baseball bat as hard I could resisting the urge to hurt her. 'She took him away from me , I am not ok with it.' I punched my locker fighting the urge to cry now. "Stupid JONAS!" I yell getting everyones attention . then I walk away from them. STUPID FUCKING THEM! Honestly I hate them right now , I hope that they break-up. Becuase Graduation is coming up and he is joining his brother in college. So thats probably going to tear them apart.
'This is wrong.' I think . ' What did I do to deserve this shit?' I snare trying to let go of him.
"Hey Macy." Nick came over to me.
"Hi Nick." I grumble glaring at Joe and Stella.
"I see you dont like them either?" He gave me a rare smile making me smile back but then it faded.
"I can't beleive my best friend took my boyfriend from me." I snared at him .
"Well what can I say , I have bad enough girl trouble so it looks like we have to get through this together, right?" he put on a hopeful smile and I laughed while he held his arm out and I linked mine with his.
"Looks so." I smile and we walk to class together. But just as friends.
3. Bargaining , 3 months later
I'm still not fully over Joe , I still love him . Just like Nick with Penny. So now the two heartbroken singles are over his house , for the firs time in months I should add. Just hanging out talking since it's summer. Thats when Joe and Stella came over. Kevin was there too.
"Hey everyone!" He yelled carrying a he saw me and I waved.
"Hey Kevin. Joe , Stella." I smiled at Kevin but saying the last part formally woth now emotion.
"Hey Mace can I talk to you in the kitchen?" Stella asked when she saw me and I nodded following her so that the boys couldn't see or hear us.
"So I know this is awkward but how are you feeling?" she smiled and I looked at her with disbelief.
"How am I doing?" I scoffed. "I'm surprised that a bitch like you would even think about me after you stole my boyfriend from me." I rant.
"Well what do you want me to do?" She yelled and then I cried letting my emotions take over me.
"I will do anything to get Joe back or for you to break up with him" I look at her "I will personally work for you forever! I will pay you! Please what is it name your price." I beg her.
"I dont want anything." She said looking at me.
"Trust me what do you want Stella , name anything!" I beg on my knees and she helped me up.
"I want JOE." She glared then slapped me " And this is for calling me a bitch, you whore." She slapped my other cheek harder and once she was gone I broke down crying. Just sitting on the floor crying not caring if someone came in and saw me , thats how hurt I am . My cheeks are burning . Then Nick came in .
"Hey you. Dontcry." He hugged me and I cried deeper into his shirt. This is what my life came to just crying and Nick being the shoulder. " Do you want to talk." he caressed my cheek and I winced in pain and shook my head.
"I'll be fine." I whimpered.
4. Depression , 4 years later.
Nick was officaly married. To penny , of course. I was the maid of honor and I smiled the whole way through. I was truelly happy for him , but still broken from Joe. I no longer had my night in shining armor to help me or my shoulder to cry on. I had no one. Well except for Kyra , but thats a different story. Kyrais my sister and now my responsibility because my parents died leaving a 7 year old with me. A reckless , messed up , heartbroken 22 year old lady.
I rolled up my sleeve revealing the scars. No one knew , not even Nick or Kyra. I started cutting a little after the Stella incident and after Joe called me a slut and after I cut myself. Kyra was in school so I took out a knife and pressed it to my skin , feeling releived once blood came out. I was addicted to this everytime I thought of Joe or Stella I would save it for this right here. I no longer talked to people really except for Kyra. Nick and Penny are to busy being in love , Joe and Stella are planning a wedding which I'm a bridesmaid for.
Soon I came over with sleepyness. Maybe a nap wouldnt hurt I closed my eyes and let everything drift away. Soon pictures of everything was black and pictures were floating around me. 'What am I doing ?' I thought and then two people apeared before me. Joe and Nick.
"Macy keep on sleeping for me." Joe said with pleading eyes "Dont worry about the blood ir Kyra everything will be fine if you just trust me." he smiled . Then a picture of Joe kissing me flashed.
"Dont listen to him Macy , wake up. The Parimedicsare trying to help you , you will be fine once you wake up." Nick urged me touching my shoulder and soon I was 17 again . Looking back at the past. There was something different about me every time I looked. WithJoe my eyes looked happy every time I saw him , but with Nick my eyes would light up. He got me through the past years after Joe broke me.
"Nick?" I said softly.
"MAcy!" he counded urgent "Wake up! God Macy just wake up! Please I dontknow what I would do with out you!" he yelled shaking me. "I'm here , just hold on and I was smiling now knowing that he cared about me.
"Macy just stay here , I'll be with you." Joe whispered in my ear.
I had to choose stay here , being 17 forever . Or going back to heartbreak , to Joe and Stella , and also Nick.
5. Acceptance , 5 minutes later.
I woke up in a white room filled with people doing stuff to me. "Nick?" I aksed softly and a doctor looked at me "Your awake!" he cried. "We thought we lost you." he smiled.
"Wheres Nick?" I groan.
"You mean the young man in the waiting room who hasn't left for the past 3 weeks?" he looked at me skepticly. My face went down "Did anyone else wait for me?" I asked tearing up.
"Well a little girl did and some guy who kept talking to me about lemurs but that was a little boy." My face smiled again I know knew I had who I needed all along . Joe didnt want me at all , well except to get in my pants but I never let in and now here I am. I am truelysmiling now. Not smiling , but beaming with happiness. Those 4 people were all I needed ; Kyra , Nick , Frankie and Kevin. But mostly Nick. I loved him . As a brother and he helped me get through this . Without him I wouldnthave survived my break-up with Joe.
"When can my 3 nutbags see me?" I smiled and he looked at me.
"Are you sure your not depressed?" He asked.
"I was , but I found my cure."I smiled. The everything just had broken away from me. I finally accept that Joe Lucas is and never will be the love of my life.
6. The after math! lol this isnt a step but hey this is Macys happy ending. 6 years later
This was it . This is my turn to walk down the aisle . To well Kevin. Yup I'm marrying Kevin Lucas. Now every Lucas has a name from me. Frankie is my Big Man. Joe is my heartbreak , Nick is my shoulder to cry oner, and Kevin is and forever my love . I am happy with that. Neither Joe or Stella have been seen or heard since after they divorced. Both of them leaving for selfish reasons. This is what every person has done for me.
Kyra: Kyra is my strength , she now gets me through the day besides KEvin , Nick , or Frankie. I love them , but she is the girl who gets me through the day.
Frankie: He is the little man whom I can always count on helping me . Lets not forget the looks he gives Kyra now . He kept me in balance when no one else was around wich wasnt that often but he spported me and thats all I needed from him.
Kevin: Kevin is the love of my life , he is the reason I never cut myself after the incident for of. Him and Nick Stayed with me the whole time.I can't picture spending the rest of my life with anyone else but him. He is the one that gets me up in the morning , and no one can replace that.
Nick : Nick is the second most important person to me through out the rollarcoaster Joe put me on by breaking up with me. He made me survive those years. He was the sole reason I'm here today. Smiling. He is my best friend and no one will replace him. Kevin is closer to me but Nick is like my brother . The one who will always be there for me .
Joe: Joe is the guy that put me through hell . He almost made me kill myself , but without the 4 people listed above him . He would have destroyed me.
These 5 people are my 5 steps of greif. Kyra is my denial , Frankie is my anger , Kevin is my bargain , Nick is my Depression , and Joe is my acceptance.
I know the last sentance may confuse you so here it goes. Macy barely talked to anyone while she was in Denial and her sister helped her. Frankie was the person she talked to letting out some of her anger. Kevin is the bargain she got by falling inlove with him . Nick helped her recover from her depression .Joe made her accept that he never loved her , and only put her through hell.
I know you may say but its Macys fault she was like that. But Joe kept on adding fuel to the fire. He broke her and she didnt know how to be put back together.
