Author's Note: This was a challenge. By my grandmother. She heard the Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 2 video game and heard some interesting quotes. She picked five quotes from Taijutsu Naruto's audio clips and challenged me to write a story with all five. So, I did. Heh. It's crack-tastic. XD Enjoy.

Notes/Warnings: SPANDEX SUITS. (Jumbled text here.) And uh—bushes.

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto


Noble Savage of the Leaf
By Mint Pizza Queen


For once, Sasuke mused, it was a perfect day.

The sky was blue, but not an obnoxious baby blue that made him want to kick someone's ass. The sun was shining, but it wasn't shining too bright to cause people to hiss with distaste of melt under the intensity. The weather was great—not a cloud for miles and the temperature was cool and crisp with the occasional gentle breeze here and there.

Yes, it was perfect.

That is, it was until a certain blond dobe decided to ruin it in the traditional run in, shout out obnoxiously, and parade around in his hurt-your-eyes orange jumpsuit.

Only things were a little different this time.

"Sasuke! Check it out!"

In all his dobe-ish glory, Naruto posed in a Rock Lee fashion to show off—

--oh hell no.

"What the hell is that!?" Sasuke cried out, covering his burning eyes.

"Isn't it cool? Now I'll be cool like Lee and his sensei! I'll have the power!" Naruto changed poses to show off the damned green spandex suit.

The Uchiha had to use all his self-control to resist tearing out his eyes—or the suit.

…yes, most definitely that suit.

"Aw man!" Sasuke opened his eyes at the outcry only to gape at the sight of Naruto hugging himself. "Where has this suit been all my life!?"

"Okay, Naruto, I get it! You love the suit. Now please stop doing that." Sasuke felt sick, so he leant forward, holding his stomach. "It looks so wrong."

Naruto glared at the boy. "You're just jealous. Gai-sensei never offered one to you so you're jealous that I have more skill."

The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, that must be it. I'm so jealous."

"See!? You even admitted it!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"…you asshole." Naruto flipped a finger at him and snarled. "I'll show you the power of this suit!"

"Oh, I'm feeling the power all right. That damn thing is ugly and making me sick."

"Ah! Don't underestimate the noble savage of the Leaf!"

Sasuke blinked. "Wha-"

"HIYAH! DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

Something connected to his check roughly, and in less than two seconds flat, he found himself flying into a patch of bushes.

Damn Naruto and that blasted suit.

"Woah! This suit is the BOMB!"

The Uchiha pulled himself out of the brush and found Naruto giddy and dancing happily. The hyperactive ninja seemed to sense the glare radiating from the Uchiha and turned with a shit-eating grin in place.

"Heh, you suck."

Okay, first of all, who was heto say 'you suck'? Sasuke, the Uchiha Sasuke, does not suck. You can call him immature. You can call him an asshole. Hell, you can call him ugly, but nobody, and he means absolutely nobody says that Uchiha Sasuke sucks!

That punk was going down.

"Katon: Goukakyou no Jutsu!"

"AAAAAAH! I'M ON FIRE!"

Sasuke had to take that back, today wasn't ruined completely—it was still perfect.

At least perfect was redeemed when the suit went up in flames and left Naruto ranting and raving with a new pair of bushes for trousers.

Hmph, noble savage of the Leaf indeed.

-The End-