Hello, it is I, The Female Junpei! I am going to attempt to write my first yaoi. I've tried before, actually, but I stopped halfway through after rereading it and thinking, "Wow! This sucks!" So here I go! ...again.

Disclaimer~ Simply put, I do not own anything, except for this laptop and this plot line. Would I be doing this if I did own KH? Seriously...

It's only been a month. I'm really starting to get bored with this place. Everything it white. The walls. The bed sheets. The floors. The clothes. All the papers the doctors and nurses look at. Do they really need to keep looking at those damn papers. They should know this all by know. They give the same medication every day. Every day for this past month, they should really know the sedating meds they give me by now.

I lay down on this rather uncomfortable bed of mine. It's not even worth calling a bed. It feels like cardboard, honestly. I look across this small room of mine to the wall of pictures I have. It's the only source of colour I have, besides the occasional afternoon sun. There's pictures of better times. Pictures of my greatest friends. Greatest friends who have never visited me once. Or even tried. Pictures of all my teachers at school. I considered them important for a while. Educators are important, right. That's a lie. They don't care. Never have. Never will.

I look towards the small section of pictures in the corner. Pictures of my family. My mom was a beautiful woman. She had long golden coloured hair that flowed with even the tiniest breeze. She loved wearing sun dresses even in the coldest days of winter. The always looked good on her. My father looked like your average Joe. He had thick medium brown hair. He always wore a suit and tie. Very professional looking. He was barely ever home though. He often stayed late at his office. My little sister was so adorable. Her hair was wispy and blonde, very similar to my mothers. But that was the only similarity to my mother she had. And there was no similarity between her and my father. This was because my mother wasn't the beautiful person I thought she was. The local florist wouldn't have been a very good father, so why him?

But it's not that big a deal. Dad wasn't any better. I think that's why he always asked mom to take us shopping with her. I really wish I wasn't sick that one day. This also explained why Miss Sarah had a kid. She wasn't married and her kid looked a lot like my dad.

Sometimes Dad would come home drunk as shit and beat the three of us like you wouldn't know. But we weren't allowed to tell. It would ruin Dad's image. But I still loved them all. They were my family. I didn't think I could survive without them. But I guess I can, since they're all gone and done with. Well, except for my mother. That fire sure messed her up. After that, she stopped wearing those sun dresses she loved so much. My mother died in that fire while another woman rose from her ashes.

It's my fault that they died. I left. I climbed out my window. I went to that party. I blabbed and the drunken party goers went to prank my home. "Just egging and TPing!" they swore to me. I figured it wouldn't be so bad. I gave my address and let them go as I stayed put and drank whatever alcohol I could find. But they lied. They went too far. I never knew their "leader" was a pyromaniac. They burned my family in their home. My home. But I was too smashed to realize any of this was going on. I woke up half naked in an abandoned alleyway just a few blocks from my house. I rather unsteadily waddled home, well, what was left of my home anyway.

The police investigating the fire found me and took me to my mother. Her charred face made me turn away. She hated me for not being there. For not having to suffer. But she never said so. She just kept repeating, "Where were you? I was so worried." She sounded like a broken record.

I stayed at the hospital with my mother until her injuries were healed enough for her release. She rented an apartment for us. She barely ever talked to me afterwards. She left me out. That's when I picked up my habit. I cried every night for my losses. I started finding whatever sharp item I could and took it to whatever clean piece of skin I could find. For the longest time, nobody noticed. Not even my own mother. But on night, I took my attempt at suicide. Nobody wanted me. Nobody cared. I slit open my wrists and watched the red pour. Just as my sight started fading, I heard my mother's scream. That's all I remember.

I looked at the clock. Wow. All of my reminiscing resulted in a loss of an hour and a half. Someone should be coming with my medication soon. I think I might stop taking these meds. I'll just pretend to swallow. I don't want to sleep. I'm tired of these horrible nightmares. My door opens and I see... wait! This is someone new. I've never seen this person before. He's so tall and has the most colourful hair I've ever seen.

"Hello Roxas. I'm going to be your new caretaker. You may call me Axel."

This was new. I've had the same caretaker since I came here. Now there was someone new? This was perfect. Hopefully, he won't watch to see if I actually take my meds. He walked over and set a small cup of capsules on the bed stand next to me. He gave me a look. I've never seen a guy give me a look like that. He handed me a bottle of water.

"Take your medication and I'll come back tomorrow."

I nodded and sat up as I grabbed the medication. He towered over me and I felt so small. He mesmerized me. How could I not do what he told me to do? I wanted him to come back. He was way better than the old woman who was my caretaker before. I popped the pills into my mouth and swallowed them all with one sip of my water. I was a professional at taking these pills.

"That's a good boy." he praised me. He reached over and mussed my hair. I could only stare in wonder at him. I felt like such a child. He smiled and headed for the door. I didn't miss even one movement. It took him only three strides to reach the door, proving just how small my room was. He tossed me that look again as he left. The pills worked faster than usual, almost instantaneously and the last thing I saw was the tips of his bright red spiky hair.

Okay, if you actually made it this far, then Congratulations! This chapter is mostly explaining Roxas's situation. I'm sorry if it was boring... Let me know if I misspelled anything and please excuse my bad grammar. Let me know if I should continue or just delete this now before I make it worse. And let me know what I can improve on!

Lots of love~ The Female Junpei