Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Tags: *Daryl Dixon, *Carol Peletier, *Caryl pairing, *Rick Grimes, *Michonne, *Jerry, *Nine Lives Challenge, *Caryl Bingo! *AU, *Bed Sharing, *Snuggling for Warmth, *Candles, *Constable Cockblock, *Hurt/Comfort
Rated: M
Summary: A power outage and Rick's paranoia force Carol and Daryl to share her room. Could things get any more awkward when there are no more obstacles between them and they're forced to re-evaluate their relationship?
A/n: My entry for the October Nine Lives Challenge: Caryl Bingo. The squares I chose were … bed sharing, snuggling for warmth, candles, constable cockblock, and hurt/comfort. Hope y'all enjoy it.
Seclusion
By:
CharlotteAshmore
"I swear by all that's holy … if that man doesn't stop, I'm going to steal Mrs. Roby's laxatives and dump them in Rick's coffee!" Tara hissed from where she stood with Carol and Daryl on the front stoop of the clinic.
Daryl shifted his squinty-eyed glare away from his best friend, swinging it towards the girl as Carol snickered. "He's jokin', right? He didn't jus' say –"
"Oh, yes he did," Carol groaned. Things hadn't been easy for a long time, but really? When had they ever? "No power for god knows how long … at least until the solar panels can be repaired. It's not as if we've never had to make do."
Tara gaped at her. "You're defending him?! Granted, I can understand the no power thing, but what's his reasoning behind cramming everyone into five measly houses?"
Daryl pulled his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one, shifting the weight of his crossbow. "No power means no streetlights. It'd be easier t' patrol one block instead o' th' whole town."
"But … but … we're going to be crammed in like a bunch of sardines, Daryl!"
"Ain't like we haven't had t' make sacrifices before t' make sure everyone's safe," he argued.
Tara crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. She was still of the firm opinion Rick was being an asshole, and no amount of logic from their hunter would change her mind. She fell into step beside Carol as the woman marched off the porch and began making her way towards the house she shared with Daryl, Rick and his family. "Carol, where are you going? How can you be so calm?"
Carol smiled at Tara, glancing over her shoulder to see Daryl following at his own pace. Since the end of the war, he was never far from her side. She felt guilty, knowing he was still afraid she'd run from him. She could only hope one day she could earn his trust again. "There's no point in getting upset, Tara. We will just have to make a few adjustments in the interim. Eugene is good at what he does. I have every faith he'll have the panels repaired in no time, especially with the spare parts brought in from that run yesterday."
"He's lucky Rick even let him back into th' community," Daryl grumbled. He didn't trust the turncoat at all, wondering how long it would take him to turn coward again when a new threat presented itself.
"I worry about you," Tara said, once again giving Carol a wary look.
Carol snorted and continued walking. "There's no need to panic. There are fire pits in the backyard we can use for cooking, and our homes are big enough for everyone to share space."
"Yeah, you can tell us all about it when you have to share your room with four other people," Tara scoffed.
"Which is why I'm headed home to make sure that doesn't happen." She arched a brow, looking down at the shorter girl. "Just who do you think Rick is expecting to organize this little slumber party?"
*.*.*
Daryl cursed under his breath as he directed the beam of his flashlight over the slumbering bodies of his family, picking a path towards the stairs. It wasn't all that late, barely midnight, but it seemed with the lack of power, everyone had turned in early. He and a visiting Jerry had taken the first watch, Aaron and Eric having relieved them at eleven. Rick had insisted he and Michonne would take the last shift before dawn. He'd be glad to see the return of power to their home. So many bodies spread out made him feel claustrophobic, something he hadn't felt since they'd had to abandon the prison.
He avoided an end table with a bit of maneuvering and breathed a sigh of relief as he gained the stairs. He was later returning to the house from his watch detail than he should have been … because of her. He'd already been on watch when Carol had brought his dinner out to him and dropped her bombshell. She'd organized their home as best as she could with what she had to work with, but she'd had to give his room away. He'd be sharing with her … only her. What the fuck had she been thinking? She could have easily shared her king size bed with Tara and Rosita. Really, with any number of the residents in Alexandria. Why him?
Daryl – out of habit – flicked the light switch as he entered the bathroom, then grumbled beneath his breath for being stupid. He set the flashlight down on the counter by the sink and dropped to his knees to rummage in the cabinet beneath for a towel and the change of clothes Carol kept there for him. If he'd been kicked out of his room, it was likely his things had been moved to her room, and he wasn't quite brave enough yet to venture there just yet. He bit his lip as he stepped into the shower and the frigid water pounded against his flesh like shards of glass. It was the quickest shower he'd ever taken, but he'd be damned if he'd share Carol's space reeking of sweat and covered in grime.
He wondered briefly if she was already asleep. It would be so much easier to slip into bed next to her and perch on the edge until first light. She wouldn't push him to talk; that just wasn't her, but there were unresolved issues between them he'd been avoiding for quite some time. He could almost feel the tension in the air as he slipped into the room. He stifled a groan when he was met with the soft glow emitting from her bedroom. She'd lit a brace of candles on the dresser to light his way and chase away the shadows.
Daryl stood next to the bed, running a hand through his long hair, still damp from his shower as he stared down at her serene features, relaxed and at peace in her slumber. He shivered, the cold of November seeping into the domicile with the absence of power to use the central heating unit. Carol had spread a heavy quilt and his own fleece blanket over the bed. It looked warm and inviting, and he longed to join her, yet he couldn't will his body to take that last step.
He held his breath as she shifted, rolling towards him as her eyes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily. "Um … hey," he said lamely, mentally berating himself for his awkwardness. The loose collar of his t-shirt felt as if it was choking him. "Sorry … Didn't mean t' wake y'."
Carol rubbed her eyes and yawned before propping herself up on an elbow. She couldn't mistake the goosebumps standing prominently on his skin, nor the slight tremors wracking his body. "Daryl, you're freezing. Why are you just standing there?" she asked, turning back the blankets for him. "Come on, climb in."
Daryl didn't hesitate another moment, diving beneath the blankets and pulling them up to his chin. Carol squealed when his bare feet rubbed against hers, pulling away immediately from the icy coldness. "Sorry!" he groaned, closing his eyes as the heat of her cocoon began to seep into his skin.
"Stop apologizing, Pookie," she chided gently. Carol reached out and rubbed a lock of his damp hair between her fingers. "What could have possessed you to get in the shower when there's no hot water? Are you trying to catch pneumonia? I doubt Rick would let you off guard duty even if you were ill."
"Didn't wanna get th' bed d-dirty," he replied, his teeth chattering.
Carol chuckled. "This place has gone to your head. I remember bedding down with you last winter where we were so filthy I don't know how we could stand one another. A little dirt on the sheets wouldn't have mattered, Daryl." She shifted closer, the entire bed shaking along with his body. "C'mere," she whispered, opening her arms to him, ready to welcome him into her embrace.
He shook his head. "Y' ain't gotta –"
"I know I don't, but I want to," she murmured, her chin tilted obstinately, daring him to argue further. "We've shared body heat before. In fact, if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have survived that winter on the road before we found the prison."
Daryl shivered again, almost violently, but this time it wasn't due to the cold. He could remember all too clearly how she would curl up between him and the fire on the frozen ground, how she would cling to him, her delicate hands fisted in the front of his shirt, shivering beneath their thin blanket as she fought for just a touch of warmth. No one else had thought of her welfare, most of them thinking she wasn't strong enough to make it in the new world. But he'd known, had seen the fire and determination within her, and taken her under his care, pushing her, protecting her, training her until she'd blossomed into the warrior she was today.
But Carol wasn't that woman anymore, she wasn't the fragile woman barely holding herself together after the loss of her child, nor even who she'd been at the prison. The distance between them spanned more than the few inches of space between them on the bed, and he was afraid to make it worse. He was afraid to say the wrong thing and send her running as she'd done before.
He startled as she smoothed her hand across his chest to curl around his left shoulder, her touch bringing him out of his thoughts. His smoky blue eyes widened a fraction as she tugged on him, urging him closer, and he went, helpless to ignore the pull of Carol. She yelped as he turned into her, his cold nose pressing against the ivory softness of her throat. He inhaled sharply, breathing her in, letting the scent of sakura blossom and plum wash over his senses in a comforting caress, her own unique scent beneath … calling him home.
Carol pulled the blankets higher until their heads were covered, warmth radiating from her, lulling him into a state of peace. She was safe from harm in his arms, and he took comfort in the knowledge he wouldn't be lying awake in his own bed wondering if she was getting enough sleep, wondering if she was happy or if she was hiding from him again, prepared to run in the inky pitch of the night.
Restless fingers carding through his hair, blunt nails scratching idly at his scalp, her sweet lips brushing against his temple all worked to loosen the taut muscles in his wiry frame. He could feel her lips pull into a smile against his skin, and he realized once again just how much he loved her. There wasn't a soul alive who could ease his hurts and offer him comfort as his woman could. Even before the turn, no one had ever thought to see to his needs. He would have had to let someone in and give them his trust. That just hadn't been a viable option for him before he'd met her.
The tremors in his body eased, and he melted against her, finally warm.
"Daryl?" she whispered tentatively, intruding upon the silence. "Are you alright?"
He hummed low in his throat, forcing his body to remain relaxed, praying she would be satisfied with his answer. He wouldn't be able to deny her if she wanted to talk. It would just be better to pretend he was on the cusp of sleep. Of course, when had luck ever favored him?
Carol's gentle fingers slipped past his collar, kneading at the top of his spine. "Are you angry with me … for giving your bedroom away? I just thought you'd be more comfortable here with me rather than with someone else … or downstairs crammed into the living room with the others."
The muscles in his forearms flexed as he pulled her closer, seeking more, snuggling against her, greedy for more of her warmth. It was an excuse to avoid lifting his head to meet her gaze. Even after all this time, he was still hiding from her. "Nah, I ain't mad. Much rather be here with you than squashed between the wall an' Eugene or listenin' t' Rosita snore." His fingers twitched, plucking at the hem of her flannel button up. "Don't know why you'd want me up here with y' though."
Carol leaned back enough to see the shadows his lashes made against his cheeks, his eyes closed, shutting himself off from her. "Why would you think I wouldn't want you here with me?" she asked, hurt coloring her tone. She trailed her fingers over the curve of his jaw, lifting his face to her. "I always want you near me, Daryl."
The lines around his eyes deepened, keeping them tightly closed. He tried to burrow back into the crook of her neck, but she held his chin firmly, refusing to allow his retreat. His eyes finally opened, shame and sorrow evident within. "'Cause I lied t' y'. Before … when y' was so fragile. I couldn't tell y' th' truth an' break y'. Hardest thing I think I've ever had t' do. I ain't never lied t' y' before that … felt like somebody was slittin' my throat," he admitted, his breath labored as he waited for her to turn cold on him, to damn him with her rejection. "I –"
Her fingers rose to press against his lips. "Please, stop. I know you lied. I felt it the moment the words left your mouth, but I chose to believe them. I didn't want to face a reality any different from what you'd described." She sighed, her hand returning to his hair, soothing him once more. "You did it to protect me … because in your own way, you … you love me." Carol leaned down, just enough so she could press her brow to his, her nose nuzzling lovingly against his own.
"Y' … Y' forgive me, for lyin'?" he asked, pointedly ignoring her belief in his love.
"There's nothing to forgive." Her lips brushed softly over his in a tentative kiss. "I would have done the same, Daryl, were the situation reversed. I would've done whatever I could to protect you because… because I love you too."
His lips parted on a silent gasp, his brows drawing together in bewilderment. A million other things could have burst past his lips instead of, "Why? I'ma asshole, filthy all th' time, anti-social even with our fam'ly. There ain't nothin' about me worth lovin', Carol."
"Because you're real. Behind the dirt and walker guts, lives the kindest man I've ever known. You're selfless and loving, strong and brave, kind and true," she murmured, her turn to burrow against him as she scooted down to fit her body to his. "I've never loved anyone so deeply before, Daryl … not until you."
Daryl dipped his head, his eyes slamming shut to contain the moisture building behind his lids. He wouldn't look at her and take the chance of making a fool of himself.
"Oh … no, Daryl … don't hide from me," she whispered brokenly. "I didn't tell you these things to upset you. I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me."
His hands fisted tightly as he pulled away, the space behind his breastbone throbbing mercilessly as panic rose to choke him. He wanted to run, to flee, to get as far away from her lovely sentiments as possible, but she held fast to him, chaining him to her side. "I ain't never meant shit t' anybody, Carol. Even Merle … he only kept me around so he didn't have t' be alone, so he'd have someone t' do his bidding." Daryl raised his tortured anguished eyes to her, silently pleading for her to understand. "I cain't … I'll fuck it up! Why y' think I would never let y' get close when all I wanted was t' hold y' t' me an' never let go?!" He collapsed back onto the pillows, the farthest away from her she'd allow, and threw an arm over his stinging eyes. "Don't love me … I ain't worth it."
It pained her to see him so torn and ravaged. He knew his brother loved him, had accepted Merle's sacrifice for what it was, yet when he felt his most vulnerable, he fell back into his old thought patterns, the same ones she'd helped him overcome to see he was a good man worth loving. Carol sat up beside him, tears rolling over her cheeks as she stared down at him. "Are you done? You cannot share your feelings and in the next breath push me away. It doesn't work like that!" she hissed, tugging on his arm. "At least look at me, Daryl."
He wiped his eyes on his forearm before he lowered it and peered up at her from beneath his lashes. He'd really stuck his foot in it this time … up to the knee. "Don't want y' t' go away again. I jus' … fuck, I don't know, I –"
Carol brushed angrily at her tears, her hand planting in the center of his chest as she brought her face mere inches from his. But despite her stern countenance, her words were soft and only for him, words she'd feared she would never be allowed to speak. "I did a lot of thinking while I was away, Daryl. God knows I had loads of free time. I felt I deserved my self-imposed exile, free of having to kill to protect those I loved, but it was a double-edged sword." She stroked his chin, his scruff tickling her palm before she moved her fingertips lightly along his jaw. "But I couldn't escape you. I longed for you, Daryl. You were the only one in our entire family I couldn't banish from my thoughts."
"Car –"
"No," she chided, pressing a finger to his lips. "I've waited too long to tell you as it is. It's my turn, and I want you to listen."
Daryl nodded slowly, almost eager to hear what she had to say, pressing his nose into her palm, unable to suppress the desire for more of her touch.
"You've been avoiding me since I came home, all throughout the war, keeping your distance. It's time."
"I know," he whispered, feeling the tremor in her arm as his lips brushed against the thin tracery of veins in her wrist. "I'm listenin'."
Carol inhaled sharply, tamping down on her chaotic emotions. "I couldn't get you out of my mind. It was as if the harder I tried, the more you called me back. Every memory I had of you … meeting you at the quarry, the CDC, the farm, the prison … everything we shared. Our reunion after Terminus was especially vivid."
"Are y' blushin'?" Daryl asked, his lips quirking up into a half-moon grin.
"Oh, hush. I can't help it if you've starred in more than a few dreams," she teased.
Then it was his turn to blush, the tips of his ears growing hot. "And did y' come t' any conclusions?" he asked with bated breath, his fingers tracing idly over her knuckles where her hand rested atop the center of his chest. Her posture, the hitch of her breath and the conviction in her words, every nuance of determination radiating from her held him in place. No matter what she said, he couldn't run or hide. If he were being honest with himself, he'd admit this was what he wanted … her.
"I did, but it wasn't until you found me … when you held me. That was the moment I knew how stupid I was for ever walking away from you." She ducked her head, eyes tightly closed, her breath coming fast. "When I opened that door and you were there … I couldn't remember a time in my life I'd ever been happier. It was only rivaled by the despair I felt when you left. I wanted you to stay just as badly as I wanted to go with you when you left."
"I wanted t' stay," he whispered, brushing tears from her soft skin. "Rick wanted me t' stay at th' kingdom. I shoulda stayed … but I couldn't jus' sit back an' not try t' help my fam'ly. Why didn't y' say somethin'?"
"Would you have let me go with you?" she asked, a knowing smile on her lips as her brow arched.
"No," Daryl sighed with a slight shake of his head. "Y' was still tryin' t' get your shit together. I couldn't bring y' out there an' blindly lead y' into danger. Y' know me better than that."
Carol inched closer, her hand sliding upwards, thumb softly caressing the hollow at the base of his throat. "Yes, I do; just as you know me." She pressed her lips to his beauty mark, feeling as his mouth moved into a smile. "I came back for you, Daryl. Even if you didn't feel the same way, I wanted to tell you."
Daryl averted his eyes, praying his tongue wouldn't stick to the roof of his mouth as he sought for the right words. Words which had the power to break them, or give them a chance at true happiness. "I … I do love y', woman … always have. First as my friend, then … more. But I meant what I said. I ain't worthy o' your love. I don't know how t' make y' happy, an' I couldn't stand t' see the disappointment in your eyes, Carol. Not 'cause o' me."
"Just be honest with me, love me, and most importantly … don't hide from me," she said, speaking from her heart. "It's that simple, Daryl. All you have to do is take a chance. But you have to want it. You have to be sure I'm what you want. I'm not going to throw myself at you or force you to do something you don't want to do."
His hands trembled as they rubbed over her upper arms, wanting so badly to reach out and embrace what she was offering. Daryl had always been honest with her, had loved her since that winter they'd spent together fighting for survival, but too afraid she wouldn't return his feelings. He could learn to be more open with her. Hell, he wanted it so badly he could taste it. If there was a woman alive he could trust with his heart, it was Carol.
Daryl's fingertips trailed lightly over her collarbone, reveling in the softness of her skin as his hand slipped around to cup the nape of her neck. "Carol … shut up."
He watched her eyes widen a fraction as he pulled her forward, the distance closing between them, the softness of his facial hair tickling her lips as they finally met hers. Daryl reached down, grabbing the blanket bunched at her waist and pulling it up to cover them completely, cocooning them in warmth and secluding them from the world. He shivered as her cool hands sneaked under his shirt, pressing against the heated flesh of his sides and traveling upwards to find his chest.
Daryl teased at her lips, feeling his body respond to her touch. He could taste the lingering mint of her toothpaste which masked her unique flavor, the overall effect going straight to his head. It wouldn't take him long to find himself lost to her, his tongue gliding along the seam of her lips, wanting, needing to taste her more fully.
Carol moaned, opening for him without hesitation, her thigh wedging itself between his parted legs to press against his rapidly burgeoning erection. And then he rolled, pulling her beneath him, her hands clutching his tightly muscled ass through the thin cotton sleeping pants he wore, raising her hips to meet his. Her hands frantically trying to remove his t-shirt as he went to work on the buttons of her shirt, never breaking their kiss, their breaths the only sound as they breathed through their noses, hurried in their need for skin to skin contact.
Over the thundering tattoo of his heart, he barely made out the sounds of an argument out in the hall, his body tensing with annoyance. He tore his lips away from hers, feeling a shimmer of rage coil through his gut. Now?! Of all the times his housemates had to be assholes, of course, they'd pick the moment he finally got his shit together with his woman! Fuckkkkk!
Carol groaned as Daryl broke the kiss and pushed the blankets away from his head, glaring furiously at the door. "What? What's wrong?" she asked breathlessly, a slight whine in her voice.
He growled low in his throat, a feral sound as he made himself untangle his limbs from hers and toss the covers off his body, his feet hitting the floor with a thud before marching towards the door. Carol cursed under her breath, searching for her shirt hidden somewhere in their nest and pulling it on.
Daryl swung the door open to come face to face with Rick, their leader rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he yawned widely. "What th' FUCK is goin' on out here?! Are y' tryin' t' wake th' whole house?" He turned his caustic narrow-eyed gaze on his closest friend, inches away from choking the life out of him.
Jerry pointed at Carl accusingly. "He ate my cobbler! There was one piece left, and he ate it. Carol promised I could have it after my watch, and when I came back, it was gone!"
Carl's mouth was set in a stubborn line, his arms crossed over his chest. "Your name wasn't on it," he hissed in his own defense. "I didn't know it was yours."
"So, y' have t' settle th' dispute right outside m' bedroom?" Daryl practically snarled at the pair.
Rick's gaze ping-ponged between the guilty parties and their outraged hunter, taking in his mussed hair – well, more mussed than usual, at least – the fact that he'd appeared in the doorway shirtless – something which had never happened before – and the tent of his obvious arousal through the thin pants slung low on his hips, and Rick knew they'd fucked up. He hadn't been overjoyed either to be awoken by such a trivial matter, but this wasn't going to end well. The last time he'd seen Daryl so angry, he'd been throwing squirrels at him and going for his knife!
Constable cockblock threw up his hands in surrender, his face paling as the hunter turned his glower on him. "This was your fuckin' idea, Rick! There ain't no reason we all we had t' all be crammed up like this," he hissed, pointing a finger at his friend. "Control. Your. SHIT! Fuckin' cobbler? Really?"
Carol peered over Daryl's shoulder, her buttons done up wrong and her hair a mass of spikes from his questing fingers as she arched a brow at the altercation. Her arm wrapped around his waist, pressing herself against his back as she rested her chin on his broad shoulder. "Alright, that's enough," she said calmly, ready to diffuse the situation. "Carl, apologize to Jerry for eating the last piece of cobbler I'd saved for him."
Carl gaped at her, ready to argue. "But –"
"Now, Carl!" Rick cut his son off.
The boy shot a side-eyed glance at the man. "Sorry, Jerry."
Rick shooed his son back towards his room as Carol turned her gaze towards Jerry, smiling impishly. "Jerry, dear, I promise to make you more cobbler as soon as the power is restored. It was wonderful of Ezekiel to send you over to help, and you will be rewarded."
Jerry ducked his head. "Thanks, Carol. I'm really sorry we woke y'all."
Daryl was still glaring at Rick, his anger not having faded in the least, but he didn't move as the big man left to find his own room sans cobbler, afraid Carol would rescind her touch if he did. Carol sighed and looked at Rick to see the remorse written all over his grizzled features. "As for you …"
"Oh, this is so not my fault," their leader protested. "I was sound asleep when all this went down, I swear!"
"This isn't the first time this has happened, Rick. You need to have a talk with him. Carl cannot just continue to raid the pantry in the middle of the night at his leisure," Carol said, stifling a yawn.
Rick swiped a hand over his face and began edging his way backward towards his bedroom. "I will, and … I'm really sorry this happened." He couldn't hold back the grin which spread over his mouth as he looked at the pair. But he was safely behind the solid door of his bedroom before he stuck his head out for one last remark. "Oh … and it's about time, you two."
Daryl lunged for him, but Carol pulled him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, his arms banding around her waist as she began backing towards their own room. "Leave him alone, Daryl," she murmured, her lips pressing against the pulse point beating rapidly beneath his jaw, his arms tightening around her as he slammed the door behind them and turned the lock. "There are much more important matters than dealing with Rick, or anyone else for that matter."
His fingers began to unfasten her buttons again, one by one, letting her sweet touch work its magic on him. "S'that right? Like what?" he asked, his lips curling up into a rakish grin.
"Like us picking up where we left off," she declared, falling back onto the bed, his warm weight settling atop her.
"I can live with that."
A/n: Thanks so much for reading!
