A/N: I've had a fucked up three days. I'm depressed then happy then depressed again.

My life has been full of shit. From everyone. Ok, not EVERYONE but mostly everyone.

This was supposed to be a letter from Johnny to Whatsername about a year post-AI.

Interpret it how you will.

Except for the suicidal part, that's not me…

Disclaimer: Don't own shit.

Dear whatever your name is,

You may not remember me. In fact, I'm pretty sure you wiped me from your memory. I used to be your friend. Remember? I used to be there…when the days were tough and the nights were tougher. I would be the one who held you. I would be the one keeping that beautiful smile on your face.i helped you through all times, good and bad. But you have no idea how much you helped me too.

When I met you, I was a mess. My life was falling apart. I had no one. My vices were getting the best of me. My rage and my love. But you noticed me. You didn't think of me as some loser. You were the first person I met here.

You saved me from myself. When I had nothing you gave me everything. When I was down, you kept me up. When I just needed someone to care, you did.

Do you remember what we used do? All that shit, that tomfoolery as Jimmy called it. The time I serenaded you outside your window. The times we got high together. The parties…the way you watched me destroy myself from the inside out…The time I tried to kill myself and you did nothing to help but panic…

I'm sorry…I just…

I'm trying to get better. I am. I'll change for you. Anything to get you back. I loved you…. I always will.

You were the only thing in my life that kept me going. And now…I don't know what to do…Maybe it's about time I join Jimmy…

I still love you.

-Johnny