Fire Emblem: Asinine Heroes
By: Afro Logic
Chapter 1: Maddening Duplicity
(This is based on a true event that I experienced)
"How many orbs were we able to secure from that last confrontation?" Commander Anna's authoritative voice was able to quiet the ruckus surrounding the Summoner and his 4 heroes on duty as they came in through the front gate. Stretching and yawning, the Summoner took in a breather away from combat that had raged on for nearly 4 days now. A satchel that looked rather full hung at his side from a shoulder strap that hugged his robes comfortably. Abel, one of the four heroes, stepped towards Anna and gave her a proper greeting, lowering his head as a sign of respect.
"Commander Anna, we were able to secure a full cycle's worth of orbs. If it wasn't for the Summoner's strategic prowess and Lucius's healing expertise, we would've died out there without any doubts in my mind. I pray that we can summon more heroes with different specialties," Abel said, sighing and catching his breath before walking past and towards his quarters, his feet dragging from exhaustion.
"It seems that your battles were more fierce than normal, feel free to rest, but first we need to march to the summoning monolith. Duty comes before rest considering the constant bombardment we've had to deal with," Anna sighed, giving Kiran pat on his back.
"Understood," Kiran replied without a single moment wasted. Without delay the two of them made their way through the courtyard that laid rest at the back of the fort two gates guarding its passage. Undoing the locks were easy enough, with their keys being at Anna's side at all times. Every step they took echoed throughout the ancient monolith, its age and life carved out into its walls. Fortunately there were no stairs, merely a small flight of ten steps that led onto a wide plateau that stretched across the whole width of the structure.
The summoner removed Breidablik from his robes, smiling and lowering it down to shift up the back of it, revealing a circular entry chamber to which orbs were placed. He reached into his satchel, slowly removing the first orb that shined with a bright silver light. Anna smiled and gave him a nod before slowly shoving it into the slot until it was secure. Kiran then slapped the rear hatch back down, liking pulling back the hammer on a normal handgun.
Taking a steadying breath, he pointed it towards the wall. A loud burst of energy echoed the air, the orb flying towards the wall at neck breaking velocity. The walls began to glow brightly as the orb was absorbed into the wall. The monolith began to tremor as if it were an earthquake then the sheer power of the orb caused a vicious surge of pure power to erupt, a portal now forming within the room with a blinding light. The portal then disbursed with a flash, blinding Anna and Kiran before subsiding to reveal their new ally.
Standing before them was a young girl; her hair was up in two ponytails with clothes that matched its hue. Her eyes appeared wondrous and energetic, as if she had been waiting to be summoned her whole life. Kiran smiled and raised his eyes so that he could gaze upon the young lady thoughtfully.
"May I ask your name?" Kiran inquired. The girl stretched up her arms and hopped up and down to loosen up her legs before approaching him with a spring in her step and a smile on her face.
"I'm Lissa, and despite what my brother says, I am not delicate! I'm a princess and a member of the Shepherds!" Lissa's spritely voice announced, not even phased by the fact that she had just randomly appeared in this brand new world. It was clear that she was either vastly brave, or rather dim.
"The Shepherds you say...are you by chance related to a Stahl or Fredrick? They both claim to be members of the Sheperds as well," Anna asked, a big smile forming upon Lissa's face.
"OH YES! Fredrick and Stahl are like big brothers to me! That's so cool that they're here, but they better not have said bad things about me!" Lissa said, huffing up playfully. Both Kiran and Anna gazed with awkward smiles, her overwhelming energy leaving them both a little put-off.
"No, not at all, they actually talks about how much they miss you and how they pray for your well being. " Kiran replied, causing Lissa's smile grew even wider, despite it seeming impossible for it to happen.
"That's great! Say, where are they?" Lissa asked, her words flying out as quick as Anna's ax on the battlefield.
"They're back at the fort, it's just across the courtyard, but I'm going to have you wait just outside the door OK?" Anna replied. Lissa gave an affirming nod, practically skipping across the room and out the door.
"Well she's certainly a bundle of energy," Kiran said with a small laugh, to which Anna shrugged her shoulders with an awkward smile.
"I guess not everyone can be serious or with firm resolve. It's kind of refreshing to see to be honest. Anyway, back to the task at hand, ready to go again?" Anna asked, with Kiran immediately confirming with a nod of his head. Just like before, he loaded up another colorless orb into his legendary weapon, taking less time this time around since it had time to warm up.
Aiming forward, the whole process of overwhelming energy and powerful tremors erupted without delay, causing another flash of light to occur. The both of them gazed at the new arrival with blank faces, the girl from earlier now standing before them once again. Going through the motion, Kiran readied his regular lines for whenever anyone arrived.
"May I ask your name?" Kiran recited once more, trying his best to keep the same sincere smile he had with the last one.
"I'm Lissa, and despite what my brother says, I am not delicate! I'm a princess and a member of the Shepherds!" the lack of surprise was drained from Anna's and Kiran's faces but was still met with kind smiles.
"Welcome to Askr Lissa, would you mind stepping out those doors for the time being, we'll explain what's going on in more detail once we're finished in here," Anna said, sighing at how rude her words must be coming off. Lissa wasn't phased at all by Anna's slight of sincerity and smiled just as the other had.
"Okie dokie!" Lissa said, leaving the monolith in the same fashion as her prior one did. The sound of laughing and gasps of surprise blew up just outside the door as the new Lissa found the other that had stepped out no more than a minute prior to the summon.
"Please tell me you have something other than silver orbs Kiran..." Anna sighed, Kiran immediately shuffling through the satchel.
"It appears I have two more silver and one crimson left," Kiran replied. Knowing that the odds of getting the same hero a third time was next to none, Kiran took a hefty sigh then reloaded his tool, once again aiming it at the wall. After the epic summoning event took place again, both Kiran and Anna stared dumbfounded that Lissa had once again appeared before them. Sighing heavily at her arrival, she gazed in confusion at the two strangers, wondering why so much dismay was in the air.
"Um, is everything OK? You two don't look so well..." Lissa wondered, tilting her head in a short fit of confusion. Anna and Kiran sighed and pulled themselves together, trying not to express their lack of caring openly to her.
"We're OK, we're curious as to why you aren't confused or concerned by an event such as being summoned to a strange place out of the blue," Anna said as she tried to force a smile.
"Life is an adventure; no matter where I go or where I am, I believe its best to face the challenges ahead with a strong determination and a positive attitude!" Lissa replied, psyching herself up for an unknown reason.
"That's a wonderful attitude to have. Please, step outside of the door for now, we'll explain why you are here once we're finished in here," Anna again spoke up, and as before, Lissa grinned and gave them a nod.
"Alrighty!" Lissa said, who also skipped out the door. Upon opening the door, squeals and what sounded like hand clapping echoed inward until the doors fully shut.
"No more silver orbs Kiran, I wouldn't be able to stand another Lissa popping out. Just use the crimson one," Anna sighed, prompting Kiran to load up his one crimson orb into Breidablik. At this point, Kiran just aimed and fired without any preparation or thought; after so many redundant summons, the intensity of the situation lost a bit of its flare. As the summoning ritual came to its flash of light, a new figure was finally standing before them.
"May I ask your name?" Kiran recited, this time his enthusiasm had somewhat returned.
"I'm Chrom, leader of the Shepherds and Prince of the Halidom of Ylisse. For my friends...for peace...I'll fight." Chrom said brandishing his Falchion before sheathing it. Kiran and Anna looked at one another then back at Chrom. The words "leader" and "Shepherds" gave them a pretty clear idea of who he could possibly related to.
"It is a pleasure having you here Prince Chrom, welcome to Askr. I'm sure you have many questions to ask so please keep them in mind as we escort you and the other summoned heroes back to the fort," Anna said, nudging Kiran in the side with her elbow.
"If Chrom steps out that door, he may be over powered by all of his sisters. Perhaps we should escort them separately so that we can at least explain things first," Anna whispered as quietly as she could. Kiran gave her a nod.
"Escort the Lissa group first then come back for Chrom, I'm going to perform the last summoning. Let us pray it is a formidable ally," Kiran said. Kiran explained what Askr was doing, what's going on in this world and how he had arrived. Chrom faced Kiran's questions head on with a positive attitude and signs of fierce determination. After he was finally escorted, Kiran took a heavy sigh, slowly loading Breidablik. He then held it to his forehead, softly chanting to himself.
"Please Breidablik, bless us when a strong fighter," he said, pointing it towards the wall. All the flashing lights and dazzling effects went off; at this point its epic feel had dulled to nothing more than a time waster. From the burst light, a hooded figure came forward.
"I am Wrys, a humble curate. I cannot fight, but this staff I carry can heal the wounded." the hero said. Kiran simply stared as the elderly curate who smiled thoughtfully back at him. There was a long moment of silence that left a strange feeling in the air, Kiran's slow footsteps echoing within the large room as he approached him. Wrys, who still held a kind expression on his face looked into the young summoners eyes and gave him a nod.
"You look weary young one," Wrys said. Kiran then gave the old man a strong hug, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.
"Gods be praised, fore we have not been plagued by another Lissa. Many heroes nearly lost their lives for this moment, to which I am so glad that you, curate, have arrived," the summoner sobbed, Wrys now confused as to what just took place.
End Skit
