I cannot do this

My legs tell me to run, run as fast as I can away from here

As far away as I can get

Far from Rebecca, Ashley and everything that I can hurt or damage

I really am a freak

A bounta, bastard

An idiot, Baka

I have to run

I need to save them

I can't save them

If I am there, they will always be in danger

I don't want to hurt them anymore

Strange that I run towards water

I can't swim

Seems no one cares about me.

I'm sure I could find a few rocks to weigh me down

I fill my backpack with stones then I put it back on and jump

Breaking through the cold dark wetness

I close my eyes and wait for death to take me.

Suddenly I feel hands grip my body and drag me out of the water.

Damn!

Why him?

It's bad enough he ruined my life now my death is cursed too.

Well at least one person in my family knows how to swim...

I land on the beach where he's thrown me

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!"

I close my eyes and fold my ears against my head

"This is my life Scourgiketo and I wished to end it"

I'm sure he's saying something but I refuse to hear it

I curl into a ball and hide

Even if I was to die

I'd still hurt them

Everything I do hurts them

I feel a hand pushing down my spines gently forcing me to unroll

My eyes have opened and I see my mom and Sonic beside me, Scourge has left.

Ignoring their concerned questions I walk back home

Locking myself in my room and crying

I always hurt them

No, matter what I do

Running seems logical

But since I hurt them anyway

At least while standing still I can help

Maybe...

But why would they want my help?

Why does anyone even want me here?

Tears fall down my face creating a pattern in my fur

Like patchwork

A quilt of memories running through my head

The day she promised to be mine forever

The day our daughter was born

And the hellish day she was taken from me

I cannot forget her

The golden band on my left ring finger

I may have found someone else now,

But...

I close my eyes and I can hear her

"Manik"

My eyes open quickly staring into jade

I look away, I cannot face this I cannot do this

"Just get the hell away from me"

I cannot do this

I am killing her heart the same way my heart is killing me

The quilt is tearing apart

Just kill me

I am begging you

I need you to kill me

Please!

I cannot do this anymore

I close my eyes and fold my ears

And force myself not to breathe

Die

1

2

3

Breathe

God damnit...

Try again

Same result

Please!

I cannot do this

"And I need you now more than ever

I will hold to you forever

Wash away the past's hate

And light the fire within"

That voice

So much like my own but higher

More feminine

"Please I need you more than ever

It is better when we are together

Hold on to my hand I'll pull you through"

No, please no

"And I'll love you now forever

I promise to make this better

Don't run away

I need you"

The door opens

My second chance is coming

I can do this

I will make it

Starting now