I cannot do this
My legs tell me to run, run as fast as I can away from here
As far away as I can get
Far from Rebecca, Ashley and everything that I can hurt or damage
I really am a freak
A bounta, bastard
An idiot, Baka
I have to run
I need to save them
I can't save them
If I am there, they will always be in danger
I don't want to hurt them anymore
Strange that I run towards water
I can't swim
Seems no one cares about me.
I'm sure I could find a few rocks to weigh me down
I fill my backpack with stones then I put it back on and jump
Breaking through the cold dark wetness
I close my eyes and wait for death to take me.
Suddenly I feel hands grip my body and drag me out of the water.
Damn!
Why him?
It's bad enough he ruined my life now my death is cursed too.
Well at least one person in my family knows how to swim...
I land on the beach where he's thrown me
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!"
I close my eyes and fold my ears against my head
"This is my life Scourgiketo and I wished to end it"
I'm sure he's saying something but I refuse to hear it
I curl into a ball and hide
Even if I was to die
I'd still hurt them
Everything I do hurts them
I feel a hand pushing down my spines gently forcing me to unroll
My eyes have opened and I see my mom and Sonic beside me, Scourge has left.
Ignoring their concerned questions I walk back home
Locking myself in my room and crying
I always hurt them
No, matter what I do
Running seems logical
But since I hurt them anyway
At least while standing still I can help
Maybe...
But why would they want my help?
Why does anyone even want me here?
Tears fall down my face creating a pattern in my fur
Like patchwork
A quilt of memories running through my head
The day she promised to be mine forever
The day our daughter was born
And the hellish day she was taken from me
I cannot forget her
The golden band on my left ring finger
I may have found someone else now,
But...
I close my eyes and I can hear her
"Manik"
My eyes open quickly staring into jade
I look away, I cannot face this I cannot do this
"Just get the hell away from me"
I cannot do this
I am killing her heart the same way my heart is killing me
The quilt is tearing apart
Just kill me
I am begging you
I need you to kill me
Please!
I cannot do this anymore
I close my eyes and fold my ears
And force myself not to breathe
Die
1
2
3
Breathe
God damnit...
Try again
Same result
Please!
I cannot do this
"And I need you now more than ever
I will hold to you forever
Wash away the past's hate
And light the fire within"
That voice
So much like my own but higher
More feminine
"Please I need you more than ever
It is better when we are together
Hold on to my hand I'll pull you through"
No, please no
"And I'll love you now forever
I promise to make this better
Don't run away
I need you"
The door opens
My second chance is coming
I can do this
I will make it
Starting now
