This is just something I wrote for my creative writing class
Summary: AU Jack drags Will and Liz into detention for starting a food fight in the cafeteria
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Pirates. Wish I owned Jack though
DETENTION
The gang was in detention, again. Will was doing homework, Liz and her friend Anamaria were passing notes, and Jack was switching between flirting with the teacher in charge of detention and tormenting Norrington.
Liz- Hey Ana
Ana- Hey Liz
Liz- What're you in for?
Ana- Got caught smoking. You?
Liz- Jack started a food fight in the cafeteria
Ana- Oh you've gotta be kidding! I can't believe I missed it
Liz- LOL
Ana- So what happened?
Liz- Well you know how Friday is Mystery Meat day…
FLASHBACK to earlier in the day
"Are they trying to kill us?" Jack Sparrow complained as he dumped his lunch tray on the table and sat down across from his two best friends, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. "I mean, is this stuff even meat?"
"I think that's the whole point of the Mystery Meat stew," pointed out Liz, "it's a mystery what they use for meat."
"Well I'm guessing today is Grandpa's Socks soaked in rotten tomatoes, with a side of curdled milk," said Jack, as he studied the mashed potato on his fork. "What do you think Will?"
"What? Oh, sounds good," Will answered distractedly, not looking up from the book he was reading.
"Jesus Will, do you ever stop reading? I mean every time I see you, you've either got your nose in a book or you're studying for some test. You need to get out more. You're not a eunuch, are you?"
"For the last time Jack, I AM NOT A EUNUCH!" Will shouted the last part, causing the entire cafeteria to go completely silent.
"See," Jack said, "now look what you've done."
"Me?" cried Will indignantly, "it was you who accused me of being a eunuch."
"Just pointing out the facts, mate."
Will was really starting to get mad now. "Why you…"
"Now boys," Liz cut in, trying to make peace, "if you can't play nice, you can't play togrther. And if you haven't noticed, the entire room is still staring at you."
The boys stopped arguing and turned to see that everybody was in fact staring at the two of them. "What're you looking at? Nothing to see here, get back to work!" Jack yelled at them.
"Uh, Jack? This is lunch. People don't work, they eat," pointed out Will.
"Right, I knew that. Alright people, get back to eating!" Jack sat back down, "Happy now?"
"Honestly," said Liz, "why would anybody want to eat this stuff anyway?""Yeah, you're right," agreed Jack. "Hey, who wants to bet that I can hit Norrington in the back of the head?"
"5 bucks that you miss," put in Will.
"You're on." Jack scooped up some mashed potato onto his fork and carefully took aim.
"On three. One… two… THREE!" he let the potato fly.
The food was flying straight at Norrington. Just as it was about to hit him, Norrington bent down to pick something off the floor, causing the potato to fly right over his head and hit Scarlett Dilane right in the face.
"Oops," was all Jack could say.
Scarlett and her sister Gisele stood up and marched over to their table. "Jack Sparrow," said Gisele, "how dare you?"
"Captain, its Captain Jack Sparrow," replied Jack, trying to seem oblivious to what had just happened. 'SMACK' Jack's head whipped to the side with the force of Gisele's slap. "Not sure I deserved that," Jack commented to Will and Liz. He turned to Scarlett, who had potato all over her face, "Scarlett," 'SMACK' Once again, Jack's head whipped to the side. "I may have deserved that." Both girls stomped off.
"Well that was entertaining," laughed Liz.
"Shut it, you," growled Jack, who, obviously not have learned his lesson, picked up his tray and threw it at Liz's head. Liz ducked and Jack's lunch landed all over the jock who was at the table behind them.
He sat there stunned for a moment, before yelling out "FOOD FIGHT!"
Chaos ensued. There was a full scale war going on. People were taking cover behind tables and chairs and girls were screaming and crying because their clothes were getting ruined.
Everyone was enjoying themselves immensely, when suddenly, 'THWACK!' Everybody froze. Principal Barbossa had just walked through the doors of the cafeteria and got hit in the face with a pie. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" he yelled. "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?"
Everyone pointed to the table where Jack, Will and Liz were standing, looking horrified.
"Right, you three, detention. And I want this mess cleaned up or NOBODY goes home. Now get to work."
"Hey," whined Jack, "he stole my line!"
"Shut up Jack," cried Will and Liz together.
BACK IN DETENTION
Liz- And that's how we ended up here
Ana- Whoa. Now I'm really annoyed that I missed it. But how did Norrington get detention?
Liz- He was the one who hit Barbossa in the face
Ana- He didn't!
Liz- He did. You should have seen his face when he realised exactly who he had hit. It was priceless.
"Oh. My. God. What the hell is that?" Anamaria shouted suddenly. Liz looked up and froze. There, right in front of them was Jack making out with Miss Melton, the teacher in charge of detention that day.
"I believe that would be Jack making out with the teacher," said Norrington.
"Thank you Captain Obvious," Liz snapped back. "I for one am thoroughly disturbed. I'm getting out of here. Coming Ana?"
Anamaria looked relieved. "You bet your sweet ass I am. Should we bring Will with us?"
Will was fast asleep at his desk, using his Geometry textbook as a pillow. "Nah," said Liz, "we'll let him enjoy his little nap. Besides, Will skipping out on a detention? Never gonna happen."
2 HOURS LATER
Will woke up with a start. "Huh? What's going on? What'd I miss? Where is everyone? Guys?"
A/N: Yes, I know that the ending is bad, but I had no idea how tofinish it. By the way, is anyone else annoyed the Anamaria isn't in Dead Man's Chest?
