The VKAWGAQW Show #5

A/N: Argh! I'm so sick of writing these! (

Voldemort: Hello and welcome to our show! Today my girlfriend will help me host! Her name is Lilac. Our contestants today are…

Lilac: Sirius Black, Fred Weasley, Parvati Patil, and Hermione Granger!

Audience: (whispering) Why would they do that? Sirius has the obvious advantage… $50 dollars on Sirius… whisper whisper whisper…

V: That can get really annoying sometimes.

A: whisper whisper whisper…

V: Arrrggghhhhh!

A: Eeeep!

V: That's better. Now our first contestant is Sirius Black. Sirius, why do you feel that you can win?

Sirius: Because I am the adult here and I'm obviously superior to those little munchcins.

The kids glare at him.

V: Okay. Fred, why did you enter this show?

Fred: I wanted to prove to my mom that I actually am smart.

V: Okay. Parvati, why do you feel you can win?

Parvati: I don't. I don't? I don't! I can't! Augghh! Oh no oh no oh no oh no!

Fred: I don't think I can win either! Aaaaauuuuuugggggggghhhhhh! Aaaaaaaauuuuuuggggggghhhhh!

Parvati: Oh no oh no oh no oh no!

Lilac: Sssssstttttttttoooooooooopppppppppp! Ssssssstttttttttoooooooooppppppp!

Hermione: Waaaaaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!

V: Aaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhh!

Sirius: What? Who? When? Where? Why?

Audience: Aaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

They suddenly all stop. Harry has come back from the dead and brainwashes them all!!

V: Okay! Hermione, why did you enter this show?

Hermione: To prove I am the smartest wizard!

V: They always say that! Everyone is so greedy! Geeze!

H: sniffle sniffle.

V: Okay, first up is Sirius. Your first question is do flobberworms have teeth?

S: That's easy. Of course they don't have teeth!

V: Your next one is what does the four point spell do?

S: That's even easier! It makes your wand point due north!

V: Grrrrr… Okay then answer this Mr. Smartypants! How many shells did Sally sell by the seashore?

S: 29!

V: How did you know that?!?!

S: Sally is my niece!

V: Arrrrggggghhhh! Okay, you live.

Audience: See, he has the obvious advantage… whisper, whisper, whisper…

V: Next up is Fred Wesley. Your question counts as three questions. Name the three unforgivable curses.

Fred: Um, Avada Kedavra, er, the Imperius Curse, and, er, um, the Cruciatus Curse?

V: Correct. You live. Next up is Parvati Patil. Parvati, your first question is do unicorns prefer a boys' touch or a girls' touch?

Parvati: A girls'?

V: Correct. Your second question is what does gillyweed do?

P: Does it make you breathe underwater?

V: Correct!

Lilac: Your last question is what does the spell Sonorus do?

P: Oh! I don't know this! Oh no! Um, does it make a sonic boom?

V: Incorrect! Avada Kedavra!

Parvati dies.

Lilac: Next up is Hermione. Hermione, your first question is what is a grindylow?

Hermione: A water demon.

L: Correct. Next is what does the bubble head charm do?

H: It makes you breathe underwater.

L: Good. Your last question is what does the spell Diffindo do?

H: Oh no! Does it show differences between two things?

L: No! Sorry!

V: Avada Kedavra!

L: Now we have two winners so we're going to have a kill-off. You will each answer three questions. If you both get three questions right or tied like, say you each got two questions right, you go into sudden death . If one of you gets zero, one, or two questions right then they die. Got it?

Sirius and Fred nod nervously.

V: Okay! I'm thinking of a number in between one and twenty. Sirius, guess.

S: 18?

V: Fred?

F: 5?

V: Fred was closest. The number was seven. Fred, would you like to go first or second?

F: I'll go second.

V: Okay. Sirius, here's your question. What do phoenixes have the power to do by crying?

S: I think they can heal things.

V: Good! Fred, your question is what does the spell Accio do?

F: It summons things I think.

Lilac: Great job! Wonderful job! Did you know you're really cute?

V: Lilac!?!?!

F: Why, thank you. You're extremely pretty yourself…

Voldemort turns Lilac into a Furby.

L: Cock-a-doodle-do!

V: I hate those things!

Voldemort throws Lilac out a window.

L: Weeeeeee!

V: That's over with! Sirius, your second question is what does the spell Reducio do?

S: I think it makes things smaller.

V: Correct. Fred, what does the spell Engorgio do?

F: Does it make things have to eat a lot until someone says the counter curse?

V: That's incorrect!

Audience: Oh!

V: This is your last question, Sirius. What does the reductor curse do?

S: Gulp! I, I think it, well, um, blasts solid objects away!

V: That's correct!

Audience: Oooh!

V: Fred, since Sirius has won you don't have to answer this question…

Fred's mother comes in.

Molly( Fred's mother): Fred, I love you! You didn't have to go on this silly show to prove how smart you are! Now let's get out of this place!

V: Well there you have it! Sirius Black is our winner!

A/N: Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!(By the way I know it was weird but aren't they all?)