September
The first thing I notice is her energy. The way it moves, flows through her, the way she lights up whatever space she's in.
I know it is only the teacher's lounge but I get my first glimpse of her there. I am mesmerized by the life emanating from her. I've never seen anyone so entrancing.
When I walk in, she's sitting on a table, her feet up on a chair, hands flying wildly as she speaks. She's telling a story about her summer and she's making everyone laugh. I find a spot at the corner table and open my brown paper bag, taking out my crushed peanut butter sandwich.
"Hey," I hear a soft voice above me as I take a bite.
I look up to see her, dreadlocks piled high on her head, her long sweater hanging over tight black pants and a patterned shirt. She smiles at me and her gaze is warm and inviting.
"I'm Cosima," she speaks again as I am unable to find my words for a moment.
"Hello," I reply, "Delphine. Enchantée." I reach my hand out politely and she grasps it firmly.
"Ooo, French?" she giggles.
I smile and nod.
"You're new here, I see," she remarks.
"Oh, yeah, just started," I respond, shoving the rest of my sandwich in my mouth.
She giggles again though I'm not sure why and she is looking at me with her eyes. Those eyes. There's something so endearing about them. I can't help but stare into them. I feel as though we could be instant friends even though we've only just met.
"I know," Cosima answers, "I know everyone here. Been working here for 6 years. I teach physics."
"Biology," I tell her.
"Oh, uh, yeah, I know already," she smiles, chuckling, "Sorry, I'm not like, a stalker or anything, but I may have done my research, especially since you're in my department."
I laugh at her comment. She's adorable when she babbles, I am noticing. I feel myself drawn to her but I shake my head, thinking about the fact that I've just met this woman. "That's ok. I'm very much looking forward to working with you."
She smiles and I notice her teeth that stick out when she does. "Me too. I gotta run. Seventh period. 9th graders. The worst," she laughs before grabbing my arm. "Let's hang out soon. Get to know each other."
I smile and nod, feeling my skin tingle where she touched me. I chuckle to myself after she walks away. What am I thinking? I'm acting like a teenager. She's just so inviting, so warm. The way she looks at me while she talks makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world. I shake my head as I get up to prep for my next class.
"Ok, so I want you to read the first chapter of the textbook by Thursday, and create an outline of your notes," I tell my class as the day winds down. It's the last period of my second day and I'm already exhausted. Dealing with 10th graders is draining.
The bell rings and I begin to gather my things. I see Cosima come out of the science office next to the classroom, smiling.
"Hey! You made it through your second day!" she exclaims, staring at me through her adorable glasses. She's got that nerdy scientist thing going for her, and it really does it for me. I try not to blush as she approaches me.
I chuckle before I answer, "Oh yeah, it's not my first time around. I know how to whip these kids into shape."
"Oh yeah? You'll have to teach me some of your tricks. I've got to teach seniors tomorrow and they think they're on top of the world. Never want to do anything," she laughs.
"Thought 9th graders were the worst?" I tease her.
"Oh, you know, they're all the worst," she jokes. She walks over and leans forward on the lab table. "I'm just kidding. I love my kids. They're actually the greatest. Best job in the world. I really couldn't imagine doing anything else. Well, except maybe being a cool scientist and working on some top secret stuff, like human cloning or something."
"Human cloning? I'm the bio nerd here," I joke, "I thought you were all into physics."
"Well, I am, but I've always been really into evolutionary development, all that dorky stuff," she answers.
"You're in good company then. Nerds unite!" I say, before blushing, realizing I'm embarrassing myself.
"Oh my gosh, you are a bigger nerd than me!" She punches me in the arm playfully. "You would never know it looking at you. I would've thought you were like, the French teacher or something."
"Sorry to disappoint," I reply, flirting a little, but not meaning to. I just met this woman.
"No disappointment here," she grins, "I'm happy to work with you. It'll be nice to have another woman in this department. You know, we've just got creepy Mr. Leekie who's been here forever. He teaches chemistry. And then there's Paul Dierden. He's a nice guy. All the girls fawn all over him. I don't get the appeal, but then again, he's not really my type."
She laughs at herself and I look at her and smile. I want to reply to that comment, but it's not appropriate for this setting. And again, I just met her.
"I'm going to head home. I've got a lot of prep to get done before tomorrow," I tell her.
"Ok," Cosima replies, "Hey, at the end of the first week, a few of the departments are going out for drinks after work. You should come." She reaches out and grabs my shoulder.
"Mmm, ok," I answer, "Sounds fun." She sure likes to touch me a lot. I don't mind at all, and I smirk again.
I'm in trouble, and I know it.
"How's the new job?"
"Good, good," I tell my best friend, Krystal, through the phone, taking a sip of my coffee and packing my bag before I have to run out the door in a few minutes.
"Del, we miss you here. School is not the same without you. The kids are off the walls," she responds.
"Hence why I did not want to teach middle school anymore," I chuckle, shoving a breakfast bar into my mouth. "I miss you too, Krys."
"How are your coworkers? Not as cool as us I'm sure," she laughs.
I smile before answering, "There might be one 'cool' person." The word always sounds funny with my accent so I rarely say it.
"Oh yeah?" Krystal giggles, "Who is she?"
"What makes you think it's a she?" I remark, trying to hide the sound of a smile on my face.
"Oh Del, you sound giddy!" she notes, "You think I don't know you or something?"
I can't help but giggle. "Ok, her name is Cosima and she teaches physics. She's fun. But I'm not giddy. I'm just saying it's nice to have a good coworker here."
"Uh huh," she replies, "Is she cute?"
"Krystal!"
"What? Is she?"
"Krys, I need to go to work," I tell her, my face red with heat. At least she can't see me.
"Ok, ok, but we're gonna talk about this later," she insists, "Don't think you're going to be let off the hook that easily now that we live in different counties."
I smile and shake my head. "Bye, Krystal."
I find that I am still blushing. I've known this woman for less than a week and yet every time I think of her, my palms get sweaty and I feel a surge of nerves coursing through my body.
I need to focus, on anything but her. I grab my things and head out for the day.
The day flies by and before I know it, I'm heading out for drinks with my new coworkers. Paul kindly buys me a drink and we toast to my first week.
I meet some of the other teachers. There's Alison the choir teacher, Donnie, her husband, who teaches history, and Sarah and Helena, who both teach physical education and seem to be attached at the hip.
It's nice to make some new friends. I left a great group of coworkers back at my old school, and I miss them. As the night goes on, I find myself more and more relaxed around these new people. One by one, they all head home and I am left with Cosima at the bar.
"One more drink?" she asks me.
I think I've probably had enough, but I don't want the evening to end so I nod. I'm not sure why she's hung around with me when everyone else has left, but I certainly do not mind. I watch her as she orders two more drinks, her hands moving freely as she gets the bartender's attention, the way her mouth curls into a smile when she's talking. She is absolutely breathtaking.
This is terrible. I can't have such a huge crush on a fellow teacher. Especially not after only a week.
She turns back to me and hands me the drink. "Cheers," she smiles, "To your first week."
We clink our glasses and make eye contact as we both take a sip.
"Everyone seems so great here," I break the silence, "Very welcoming."
She smiles at me. "Yeah, we're pretty lucky. We've got such an awesome group of teachers. At least the ones who were here tonight," she laughs.
I notice her toothy grin as she looks at me, and my eyes flit down to her lips. The alcohol is making me lose my inhibitions. I quickly look away, telling myself to pull it together.
"You doing alright?" she asks, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"Oh, uh, yeah," I stumble, realizing that I really have had too much. My mind is fuzzy and I reach across my body to put my hand over the one that's on my shoulder. I intertwine our fingers and she quickly pulls her hand back.
"Hey, maybe I should help you get home," she offers. "Come on, let's get you a cab."
I allow her to put my arm around her shoulder as we walk out. She hails a cab on the street as I turn to her. "Hey, I'm sorry," I begin, "I'm not usually like...like this. I'm just very tired from the week, and maybe had a little too much to drink."
"Don't apologize, it's ok," she smiles at me. "You think you'll be alright getting home?"
I nod. "Thank you...and sorry again," I tell her as I get into the cab, completely mortified.
When I get home, I get sick before crawling into bed, still in my clothes. I feel silly, like a teenager who had too much to drink because they don't know how to control themselves. I pass out almost instantly.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Delphine?"
"Yes?"
"Hey, it's Cosima. I just wanted to check in on you and make sure you were ok after last night."
I sit myself up in bed, holding the phone to my ear, trying not to sound too groggy. "Oh, Cosima, yes, I...I'm ok, thank you for calling. You really didn't have to. I...I feel so silly about last night."
"Oh, don't. It's ok," she assures.
"Well, I feel like I should apologize anyway. Here I am, the new gal, and I get drunk on our first outing, and you have to help me get home," I laugh, internally screaming. "I'm sorry you had to deal with me."
"Oh my god, Delphine, seriously, don't worry about it at all," Cosima replies, "Trust me. I've been there." She lets out a giggle and I start to feel a little bit better.
"Ok, well, thank you for checking in on me. That is...very sweet," I say.
"No problem, dude! I was worried about you. Glad you're ok," she tells me, "Well, I guess I'll see you Monday. Have a great weekend, Delphine!"
"Yeah, you too," I respond, "Ciao."
"Oh...ciao!"
I hang up and flop back on the bed. She's so nice, so sweet. Is she just being friendly? I groan, rolling over to go back to sleep.
Over the next few weeks, I see a lot of Cosima. We have lunch together almost every day and it quickly becomes the part of the day I look forward to most. We chat about science mostly and I love how passionate she is about it. It's incredible to watch her talk and get excited about things.
My crush is just getting deeper and deeper and I'm not sure I can handle it anymore.
We have to stay late in the lab one night, cleaning up after a program we started with a few exceptional students. I sit down on one of the lab stools.
"I am exhausted," I whine.
She laughs. "Me too. These kids are tiring. But this is so great for them. They're going to get so much out of this," she replies, "And Delphine, they look up to you so much. I can tell they really respect you."
"Yeah? You think?" I ask.
"Yes, oh man, I mean, I already know you're a great teacher. These kids are so lucky to have you," she praises.
I smile and blush. "Wow, thank you." I watch her as she puts away the equipment. I have this overwhelming urge to ask her out for dinner, but I'm so nervous. She comes over and sits on the stool right in front of me.
"All done," she sighs, looking at me and smiling.
I look into her eyes and grin. She's so cute.
"What?" she asks.
I realize I'm staring. "Oh," I giggle, "I, uh, nothing." I hope she can't see that my cheeks are red hot.
All of a sudden, her phone rings. "Oh, sorry, gotta take this, be right back."
She walks into the office and I sit, patiently waiting, my palms sweaty, trying to work up the nerve to say something, anything. Maybe we can just go to dinner as friends and see what happens. It doesn't have to be a date, I tell myself. I just want to hang out with her.
She walks back in the room. "Hey, sorry about that. I need to run though. See you next week?"
I take a deep breath and get up. "Yeah, have a good weekend."
Coward! I can't bring myself to say anything. I don't want to ruin whatever it is we have between us. I'm pretty sure it's all in my head anyway. She's just friendly. All her little touches, that's just who she is.
October
"Ok, great work today, everyone! Hope you all had fun. Don't forget to hand your worksheets to Paul on your way out," Cosima shouts.
We're at the science museum, having taken half of the junior class with us on a field trip. Cosima, Paul and I devised this plan a couple weeks ago and made an activity sheet for our students to complete while in the museum. It's the end of a long, fun day and the kids are heading home straight from the museum.
I didn't have much time to explore as I spent most of my time helping the students with their assignment. I figure I'll stay a while longer and look around. I see Cosima heading straight for me.
"Hey, you want to go see the new exhibit they have? It's all about the history of cloning. Thought you'd be into it," Cosima beams up at me.
My eyes light up. "Sure," I reply.
"Come on! This is exciting," she grins and wraps her arm around my shoulder, pulling me toward the exhibit.
She is always making contact with me and I don't know if she's conscious of it. I giggle and follow her, allowing her to take me wherever she wants to.
We walk through, examining everything closely, coming to a stop in front of the most famous clone, Dolly the Sheep. There's a short movie playing inside a small theater and I look to Cosima.
"You want to watch?" I ask her.
"Yeah!" she answers, following me inside. I sit down on one of the benches and there is no one else inside. She sits down next to me and my pulse quickens as I feel her nudge closer to me. She sits so close that her leg is touching mine. Again, I'm not sure if she's oblivious or if it's intentional. Either way, I don't mind.
We sit, staring at the screen, and I steal glances in her direction. I see her smiling, her mouth open slightly and I can see her tongue poking out between her teeth. She is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. My heart is racing.
She catches my eye at one moment and she smiles at me before I look away. It's a short moment, but I can't help but wonder if she's thinking what I'm thinking. I want to say something but I hold myself back. This relationship, this friendship is special, I can feel it, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that.
The movie ends and my mind snaps back to reality as she jumps up, excited to continue. I look up at her and take a deep breath as her face glistens in the light.
"You ready?" she asks.
I nod and she grabs my hand. "Come on! So many more adventures to go on."
I am sure of that.
