I do not own any characters from Twilight, only the story. :-) Enjoy!
Chapter 1
My lips tingled as he kissed me passionately. My eyes were blinded by a million colorful lights. He held me tightly; our bodies leaving no room in between us. My heart was racing at a hundred miles an hour. It felt as if my life depended on this kiss.
Just as quickly as it started, it ended. I was left breathless, my eyes wide and dilated with my mouth hanging ajar. His normal smirk did not appear on face, but rather a slight frown. His eyebrows furrowed together and his own mouth hung open slightly. I didn't know if he was upset about kissing me or just mad he had to do this. For a second, he looked confused, but he quickly snapped his mouth shut and stared at our feet. I bet I knew what he was thinking: why am I not smirking like always? You see, whenever Edward Anthony Masen Cullen kissed a girl, he leave her breathless and he'd give them his "panty-dropping" smirk. But after our kiss, he was the one who was also left speechless.
The tension rose between us and it was a little nerve-racking. After what seemed like a lifetime of glowering, he coughed and shoved past me. I watched his back as he walked away; my heart breaking into pieces.
After four years of college together, after four years of being best friends, he finally kissed me. I met Edward during our freshman orientation and we became instant friends. To both of our surprise, his sister, Alice, happened to be my roommate. Alice is another one of my best friends and she's the only person that knows that I liked Edward. She constantly tried to set me up with him, but I always chickened out. Plus, he always had a girlfriend. Not to mention he is devilishly handsome. Crystal clear emerald eyes with a straight nose and perfect lips for kissing. His body was slightly built, but enough to have a six pack and make the girls drool. His skin was almost pale like mine, but then again, he never liked to tan. He says that it can give you skin cancer. He was like a Greek statue. My Adonis.
Edward and I were always friends. We always hung out with Alice and Jasper, Alice's equally smoking boyfriend from Texas. We always had fun. Until Edward made that stupid bet with his roommates. Mike, Erik and James were not very smart, but they knew how to gamble and humiliate another person. Edward was like their own personal guinea pig. Edward was playing a game with these guys and lost, so now he either has to kiss every girl on this campus or run around the campus in his birthday suit. The upside to this bet was that if Edward can kiss every girl, then he would get to go out with the hottest girl in school, Tanya Denali. Being the smoking hot player that he was, he decided to kiss every girl on campus. Including me.
Alice kept me on track with all the girls he kissed. I mean, he even had to kiss Alice, and she smacked across the face for it and called him an idiot. But as the least increased, the more I was last to be kissed. And then it hit me. I was the last girl. Out of all the girls, he kissed all of them first and saved me for last. My heart soared for only a second and then broke again. He said that he only liked me as a friend, or at least that's what he said to Jasper. He always cared for me and liked me, but only as a best friend. But I liked him more. I was in love with him; and he'll never know.
After I realized this, it was hard to hang out with him without trying to give him some hints. Alice said that I need to tell him sooner or later. Or at least before college ended. And with a month left before graduation, I was too late. He would win the bet and get to go out with Tanya. And I would be left in the dust.
I was in a daze as I walked back to my dorm. Luckily, Alice wasn't there so I wouldn't have to tell her what happened. My mind was going all over the place and making my head hurt. So I decided to go to sleep. I couldn't help but let the tears out as I cried myself to a deep and dreamless slumber.
"Bella? Bella? Wake up. Why are you sleeping? It's like three in the afternoon. Have you been crying? What happened? Who was it? Was it Edward? I'm going to kill that—," Alice continued. I barely caught anything of what she said, but I knew she was angry now. "Oh, he's going to die for what he did to you. That stupid bitch Tanya. Why would he agree to this anyway. I mean he doesn't even like her. You could see it on his face when she was hanging all over him in that picture Victoria took. I mean—."
"What?" I shot straight up and my head buzzed for a second. "What about a picture Victoria took?" Alice took out her Blackberry and scrolled down her text chats. She frowned when she found what she was looking for and showed me the picture.
"Victoria decided to send everyone a picture of Edward and Tanya after James confirmed that he won the bet. You see, Tanya is all over him and Edward doesn't look happy."
She was right. Tanya's red lips were pulled up into a bright smiled and she clung to Edward. Her strawberry blonde hair falling perfectly around her face. However, Edward's eyebrows were furrowed like they were when he had kissed me and his lips were in a tight line. He looked like he was in agony. If he didn't like her, then why would he even agree to going out with her? He could just say he didn't want to be her boyfriend. Then again, who would deny going out with the Tanya Denali, the bombshell exchange student from Alaska. She's the hottest girl on campus and the hottest exchange student. Go figure.
"She's such a bitch too. I tried talking to Edward when I got to his dorm, and Victoria kicked me out after Tanya scolded me. I'm telling you, those two bitches are never going to change," Alice huffed. She put her phone back in her pocket and stood up. "They are going to totally regret it when I'm a famous fashion designer and I tell them to eat shit when they come to my runway." Alice loves to shop, while I hate it. But she does know her fashion. She already had an internship with the one the famous fashion designers and they loved her and wanted her to work for them after college. If you ask me what her name was, I wouldn't have a clue. Tanya and Victoria are best friends and because they have "smoking bodies", they want to be models. Funny thing about Alice, she already told that fashion designer person that if you hear the name Tanya Denali or Victoria Nomad, say no.
"Alice. Take a deep breath. Relax. This was Edward's decision. It's his life, not ours." I don't know what I'm saying. All I want to know is why Edward looks so upset in his picture with Tanya. This is what he wanted, right? My heart ripped down the center. It was like there was a big hole in my chest and no one could fix it but the man who caused it.
"You're such a liar. You wanted him to be with you. Why didn't you tell him how you felt before this happened? I told you that you'd have to tell him sooner or later."
"Yeah, and right now, I'm going for later. I just don't know how to tell him. We've been friends for so long, I don't want to break that." I sighed. This is a nightmare that I want to wake up from. But I know it will never happen.
Alice had sat back down a while ago and pouted in her chair. We were silent for a few minutes, and just as I was going to say something, someone knocked on our door. "Oh, maybe it's Jasper!" Alice ran to open the door. It was Jasper, with Edward. "Oh, hi Edward." She casted a glance at me. "Bella's not feeling too well, so we might want to leave her alone."
"I need to talk to her," Edward's velvety voice said. He looked so sad. Compared to Jasper who looks like he's in pain whenever Alice brings him to the mall, Edward looks like he's the one in pain.
Alice put up a finger and said, "Give me a sec." She closed the door and came by me. I had my pillow tucked under my chip with my knees and my arms wrapped around it tightly. "Do you want to talk to him?" I nodded my head. "Are you going to be okay with him?" I nodded again and she frowned. "Don't let him hurt you." With that she went back to the door and let Edward in and then she left with Jasper.
Edward stood by the door, not moving. His fists were balled up so tightly, his knuckles bulged out. "Bella, I'm—," he started to say, but cut himself off. He just stood there. I decided to ease the tension a little, but after I said it, I regretted it.
"I saw the picture that Victoria took." His eyes instantly furrowed even more than they were before. "I guess you're with Tanya now. I'm happy for you." I tried to smile, but it never came. Instead, tears took its place. I hid my face behind my pillow and tried to cover up my sniffles, but I knew Edward could hear them. His eyes snapped up and he immediately sat next to me and gave me a hug. This isn't what I wanted. I don't want him hugging me; he's just ripping my heart more with the fact that I can't have him anymore.
"Bella. I'm—I'm so sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have left you like that. I—I was just so confused." He stopped hugging and turned to face me, his beautiful eyes boring into mine. "I want to tell you something. Something I should have told you long ago." His lips parted as he got closer to me. "Don't move. Just stay still." The only thing that went through my mind was, don't kiss me unless you like me. Don't kiss me unless you want to kiss me. Don't kiss me. Don't kiss me until you tell me you love me. Please tell me you love me. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was Edward's eyes. They were dilated. He wants me.
Even as my eyes fluttered shut, I saw and felt him come closer to me. This was what I wanted; I wanted Edward to love me. And he was going to prove that by kissing me, again. But, what would Tanya think about this? And just as I thought that, Edward's phone rang. He sighed and I opened my eyes, our moment ruined by a stupid phone call. Edward's face suddenly went from blissful to sullen. "It's Tanya."
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