Again with the one-shot parodies. I really can't stop...
I think the type of fic I'm poking fun at (even though I love them so) is fairly obvious...
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I'm Not a Cradle Robber
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"Oh honestly, Longbottom, even a Hufflepuff-wannabe like you should know that the boomsl-"
BOOM
"Uh-oh."
The Potions classroom exploded into chaos.
"'Uh-oh' indeed, Mr. Longbottom. 50 points from Huffl- I mean, Gryffindor for your complete lack of competence."
Poor Neville just stood there, staring at the unfolding scene.
"Need I repeat myself? 50 points and detention, Longbottom-"
"Uh, sir? I think he's in shock, and Malfoy here won't stop wailing..."
"Another 20 points, Granger, for stating the overwhelmingly obvious."
"Potter!"
"Sir?"
"Take Malfoy to the infirmary."
"Why me, sir?"
"15 points from-"
"I'm going, I'm going!"
Harry grabbed Malfoy (who only increased the volume of his wails), and dashed out into the hallway.
Making sure nobody was around, he glared at the young infant.
"I sure hope Pomfrey can fix you Malfoy, 'cause I'm not asking you out when you're like this."
Harry blinked at the sudden drop in noise, and the little baby smirk that followed.
"Wait, you can understa-"
"Is Peevsie hearing ikkle Potty correctly? Is ikkle Pottykins asking ikkle baby Drakie on a DATE? CRADLE ROBBER, CRADLE ROBBER! CRADLE ROBBER IN THE HALLS!"
"Aaaaargh, Peeves! I'm NOT A CRADLE ROBBER!"
Peeves merely zoomed away (cackling loudly), and proclaimed his new "discovery" to the masses.
Harry sighed. It was going to be a loooong day.
