DISCLAIMER:
Neither Ranma nor Utena belong to me. I am certainly not the first person to think of crossing these two series, although I think the *way* I've done it is a first. :) This takes place completely outside any canon universe, so you do not need to know any continuity for either series, everything will be different anyway. Actually, it might make *more* sense if you haven't seen either show. Characters from Ranma will be recast in strange ways, and characters from Utena will not appear, not even in cameos. (Probably.) This first episode will be very taken-from-Utena in order to set the scene, don't get discouraged if people are acting strangely and you don't know why yet.
---
[Shadow players, blocked by a curtain.]
Unseen Voice: Once upon a time, there was a princess mourning the deaths of her mother and father, when along came a prince, riding on the back of a great white horse. He was beautiful and kind and surrounded by the smell of flowers, and his soft fingers wiped away her tears.
[The Shadow Prince figure kneels before the little girl.]
Unseen Voice: "Little one, alone with your grief, be strong and do not lose your nobility as you grow up. Remember me and we will meet again. This ring will guide you to my side."
[The Prince places a ring on the girl's finger, and vanishes.]
Unseen Voice: Was the ring meant as an engagement ring? Perhaps, and that would be a good story for a princess. But because of her admiration for the gentle stranger, the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! But was that really a good idea?
---
Episode One: The Orchid Bride
---
[We are outside a large school. Teenage students in uniforms scurry around from building to building, waving and yelling at each other. A cute young girl is waiting on the steps, holding a bag and sighing. Her hair is long and brown, except for two small pink braids that fall over her shoulders.]
Girl: What's taking so long? Where are you? I don't want to be late for the first day of a new semester...
[Another student approaches]
Student: What are you standing around here for, Akari?
Akari: Waiting for my one true love.
Student: You missed the boat. Your "boyfriend" left the dorm, like, half an hour ago! So much for true love, eh?
[Student laughs and continues into the building. Akari shakes her fist.]
Akari: You'll pay for this!
[She also turns and rushes into the building. Camera pulls back to reveal a decorative plaque - Ohtori Academy - and a logo, looking something like a fleur-de-lis, but with a larger teardrop shape at the base. We move over the grounds - big school, lots of nice facilities - and finally wind up in a corridor. A teacher (cross, skinny, bad hair, pointy 70's-glasses) is confronting a student, who is wearing the boy's uniform of pants and jacket, but from the obvious bosom is not a boy. She also has long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, tied with a little white bow, and a silver ring.]
Teacher: Kuonji Ukyo. *Miss* Kuonji.
Ukyo: Enh? I mean, yes, ma'am?
Teacher: I hope you are not planning to wear that all semester.
Ukyo: What's wrong with my clothes? All the boys wear this.
Teacher: And you, *Miss* Kuonji, are not a boy.
Ukyo: There's no rule that says a girl can't wear a boy's uniform, is there?
Teacher: Not... officially...
[Ukyo puts her hands on her hips and grins.]
Ukyo: Then there's no problem. See you!
[She bounds off down the hall, with long, athletic strides, her ponytail flying out behind her. The teacher glares.]
Teacher: Little troublemaker...
[Cut to the sports field. A group of girls is playing lacrosse. Ukyo, now in a tank top and shorts, is clearly the star of the set, scoring point after point, to the great approval of the crowd. When the match ends, a cluster of giggling girls rush up to offer her towels and water bottles.]
Ukyo: One at a time, please!
[She begins to walk back towards the main buildings. Most of the crowd peels off in separate directions, but a few boys are still tagging along after her.]
Male Student: You know, if you could join the boy's team, we'd take a championship for sure.
Ukyo: Who wants to play with a bunch of sweaty, noisy boys?
Male Student: You're practically a boy yourself, aren't you? You're great!
[Ukyo thumps him lightly with the stick.]
Ukyo: Don't be rude. Just because I'm not helpless doesnt mean I'm not a girl.
Male Student: Then why do you *dress* like a boy?
[She slings the stick back over her shoulder.]
Ukyo: I'm not. I'm dressed like a Prince. A knight in shining armor. I don't want to wait around for someone to save me... I want to help other people...
Male Student: Huh?
[But Ukyo's attention is elsewhere. The camera turns to show us a little gazebo, hidden between buildings and half overgrown with vines and flowers. Ukyo stops and stares.]
Ukyo: That smell... the scent of orchids. It reminds me of times long ago...
[She walks closer, so that she can see two figures inside. A young man, tall and strong, with a fancier version of the boy's uniform and yellow bandana tied around his left upper arm, and a girl, short and buxom, with fiery red hair flowing in waves over her shoulders.]
Ukyo: Oops. I hope I'm not spying on a romantic interlude...
[The girl reaches out for the boy, and he shoves her roughly back. She stumbles, but doesn't fall.]
Ukyo: Lover's quarrel?
[The girl tries to approach him again, and he raises a fist threateningly.]
Ukyo: Hey, now, there's no call for that...
[The girl turns away, and he lowers his hand again.]
Ukyo: Phew! I was worried... AAGH!
[Someone has just pounced on the inattentive Ukyo from behind, knocking her onto the ground.]
Akari: Ukyo-sama!
Ukyo: Let me up!
Akari: This is your punishment for leaving me behind this morning! How could you? I had to walk into class all by myself... Now say you're sorry!
Ukyo: Sorry, Akari-chan. I wasn't thinking.
[The two girls climb back to their feet and dust themselves off. Now Akari notices what Ukyo was looking at earlier. The couple are still standing in the gazebo, although the girl is now watering the flowers and the boy is staring off in the opposite direction.]
Akari: Oh! Ryoga-sama...
Ukyo: Ryoga?
Akari: You don't know who he is?
Ukyo: Is he famous or something?
Akari: That's the Student Council Vice-President. The most important student on campus except Kuno himself! And he's very strong, and a martial artist, and...
Ukyo: Who's the girl?
Akari: Oh, her... That's Himemiya Ranko. She's weird. She almost never turns up for classes. She just plays with the flowers, like she was a gardener or something. I don't think she's all there, if you know what I mean... Anyway, she's supposed to be in our class now.
Ukyo: So she's Ryoga's girlfriend?
Akari: No! Someone as strong and brave as Ryoga-sama would never get involved with an airhead like that...
Ukyo: You have a thing for this guy, don't you.
Akari: Who, me? [blushes, then shakes her head] Don't be jealous! You're the only one for me, Ukyo. You're cooler than any boy, and so much more dependable... [a thought strikes her] ... except when you're making me LATE!
[Akari grabs Ukyo's ponytail and hauls her off towards the dorms. At the same time, Ranko takes Ryoga's hand and they exit the gazebo, heading the other way. We follow them to another building, into an old elevator, and up to an octagonal room lined with windows. In the center of the ceiling is a chandelier, a circle of lights with a large crystal teardrop in the middle. Beneath this stands a table, and around that table several students are sitting. Their outfits look similar to Ryoga's, but are color-coded differently.]
[The leader, a tall man with poofy bangs and a uniform trimmed in dark blue, stands.]
Blue: So, you made it on time for once, Ryoga. I suppose we have the Bride to thank for you not getting lost.
Ryoga: Why are we having a Council meeting all of a sudden?
[A short girl, her uniform trimmed in bright red, slams her fist on the table.]
Red: Because of the way you're behaving, you pig!
[A slender girl, with a high ponytail and a flower in her hair. Her uniform is more of a salmon-pink. Her voice is high and pretty; her speech patterns sophisticated. Upper class accent.]
Pink: Please, we must be civil. We of the Student Council are sworn to uphold the Code. We have been chosen to wear the Signet [She holds up a hand, showing off a thick silver ring. The central design looks like a teardrop. All of the Council members are wearing them] because of our nobility. The entire school looks up to us. We must behave ourselves accordingly.
Blue: We are concerned about your relationship with the Bride. She is currently engaged to you, but you do not seem to be treating her with the courtesy she deserves.
Red: You keep your fat hands off her, you pervert! Just because she's your Bride doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with her!
Ryoga: I haven't done anything to her, Akane. I don't *want* to do anything to her. With her. I... [He looks over at Ranko, who has been standing silently all this time, and looks away just as fast] I don't even like her.
Akane (Red): You expect me to believe that from a boy?
Blue: Be calm, oh fiery one. Ryoga, it is our wish that you behave more respectfully towards your Bride, particularly when you are in public.
Ryoga: I have the right to treat her however I want, don't I, Kuno? I won her, after all. I'm stuck with her.
[Ranko raises her head and speaks for the first time.]
Ranko: I am Ryoga-sama's Bride. I will do whatever he wishes.
Ryoga: See? If you want her, *you* win her. Then do whatever you want.
Kuno (Blue): Don't forget the next duel will soon be upon you.
Ryoga: I look forward to it. I hope someone will give me a better challenge this time.
[Ryoga and Ranko exit via the elevator. Akane slams her hand on the table again, fuming.]
Akane: If he doesn't even want her, why does he keep winning duels? He *must* be a pervert.
Pink: He has his own reasons. We all do. Do not judge so quickly what you do not understand.
Akane: Yes, Konatsu-senpai.
[We cut back to Ukyo and Akari. Time has clearly passed. They are sitting together in a classroom. Class has just ended - the other students are exiting. Akari is holding Ukyo's hand and examining her ring, making the silver flash in the light of the nearby window.]
Akari: That's so pretty... That pattern looks like the school logo, doesn't it?
Ukyo: A little bit, I guess.
Akari: Where did you get it?
Ukyo: A prince on a white horse, my promised fiance... This ring will guide me to his side...
Akari: Hrm?
Ukyo: I'm sorry, I can't really remember. I was very young, it's all mixed-up.
Akari: Oh, I know how that is. When I was little my mother told me I would marry a man who was stronger than a pig... Or something like that. That's all I can remember.
Ukyo: Huh. Why a pig?
Akari: My grandfather runs a pig farm. Really big pigs.
Ukyo: Oh.
[Both girls suddenly notice, through the window, a crowd milling around outside.]
Akari: What's going on out there?
[They go outside. A group of students are picking up bits of paper off the ground and holding them up to each other.]
Ukyo: What's going on?
Male Student: Somebody sent a love letter to Vice-President Hibiki. He was so angry he turned red and tore it up and threw the pieces out here.
Female Student: It's hilarious! Listen to this: "I dance with you in my dreams at night, Ryoga-sama..."
Ukyo: This is terrible! Throw that away, it doesn't belong to you. What sort of person reads someone else's love letter? It's none of our business, right Akari?
[Ukyo turns to look at her friend... but Akari has gone white and tears are trembling in her eyes.]
Ukyo: Akari?
[Akari turns and flees. Ukyo takes a few steps after her, pulling away from the crowd, but gives up trying to catch her.]
Ukyo: You sent that letter to Ryoga? ... How dare he embarass you like this? Nobody treats my best friend that way. Ukyo to the rescue!
[We follow Ukyo as she storms around the school in Righteous Indignation mode. It takes her a while to track down Ryoga, so there are various comedic takes of her yanking doors open and disturbing people behind them along the way. Finally she catches up with him outside, where Ranko is holding his hand and leading him along a path.]
Ukyo: YOU!
Ryoga: Who are you?
Ukyo: Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you can treat a lady's heart like trash!
Ryoga: Huh? What are you talking about?
Ukyo: The love letter!
Ryoga: You sent me that letter? Enh... [He looks at Ukyo and turns mildly green.]
Ukyo: [insulted, but carrying on] No, you jerk, it was written by my friend Akari.
Ryoga: I don't care *who* wrote it. I don't want it!
Ukyo: What sort of heartless bastard would leave a girl's tender words out to be laughed at?
Ryoga: Look, I think you're getting carried away here. All I did was...
Ukyo: You do martial arts, right?
Ryoga: Yes?
Ukyo: I challenge you to a duel!
Ryoga: Huh?
[Just then, a beam of light happens to fall on Ukyo's ring, illuminating it for Ryoga.]
Ryoga: So that's it. You're the new challenger.
Ukyo: I... what?
Ryoga: Meet me after classes in the duel arena in the forest behind the school.
[He takes Ranko's hand again and she leads him away.]
Ukyo: The Forbidden Forest?
[Cut to Ukyo standing on a path leading into an obviously Dark And Forbidding woods, with a battered 'No Trespassing' sign to the side. She's still in the standard boy's uniform, but with a little something extra... there's now a giant spatula slung over her shoulder. (Hands up if you were waiting for that.)]
Ukyo: Maybe I should have asked Akari what style of fighting this guy uses, but I didn't want to mention him until I could say I'd taught him a lesson. He won't be expecting my spatula, that's for sure.
[She walks into the woods.]
Ukyo: I'll pound him flatter than a pancake. Imagine, the thought of me writing him a love letter made him sick! ... Well, it makes me sick, too, but that's not the point.
[She arrives at a metal gate. There is an ornate handle, carved with flower petals.]
Ukyo: I guess this must be the way to the 'Duel Arena'. Weird. How do I get in?
[She tugs on the handle with one hand. It doesn't budge.]
Ukyo: Is it locked?
[She brings her other hand up, and as the ring nears the handle, it begins to glow. The surface of the gate ripples like water, and a single droplet flies from the handle to strike the ring.]
Ukyo: Ow! That's hot! But... now it's cold?
[The handle suddenly turns of its own accord, and the gate opens.]
Ukyo: Okay...
[She passes the gate and climbs a set of marble stairs, leading her at last to a large circular arena. Ranko and Ryoga are already standing there. She pauses to catch her breath for a moment, then finally looks up and gasps. Overhead, far above, can be seen a wild flower-garden, hanging upside-down in the sky.]
Ryoga: Never seen the Garden of Stars before?
Ukyo: What's going on? What is this place? And why didn't I see that thing before, in the woods?
Ryoga: It's just a mirage. Or magic.
Ukyo: I don't understand.
Ryoga: What I don't understand is how a girl like you got a Signet.
Ukyo: A Signet?
[Ryoga holds up his hand, and she sees the ring.]
Ryoga: Only the Student Council wear these. Until you came.
Ukyo: A ring like mine? But... how...
Ryoga: Ranko! Prepare us for battle!
Ukyo: Ranko... Himemiya Ranko? What are you doing here?
Ryoga: The Bride has to be here.
Ukyo: Bride?
[Ranko steps up to Utena and fastens a white orchid to her jacket.]
Ukyo: Orchids? My prince's flower...
Ranko: The person who loses the orchid loses the duel.
[She crosses to Ryoga and attaches a yellow orchid to him, then turns back to Ukyo.]
Ranko: Good luck.
Ryoga: Why are you wishing her good luck? Can't you be loyal even for a few minutes? You're supposed to belong to me!
Ranko: I am sorry, Ryoga-sama.
Ukyo: Why do you let him order you around?
Ranko: He is my champion. I belong to him.
Ukyo: Your champion?
Ryoga: Can't we just fight already?
[Ukyo unlimbers her spatula.]
Ukyo: This is all totally weird, but as long as you get what's coming to you, I guess the rest doesn't matter.
[Ranko steps between them.]
Ranko: Flowers of the stars, waters of life, unlock the magic of Dios that sleeps within me and bring us the power to revolutionise the world!
[Ranko begins to glow. She steps up to Ryoga and plants a kiss on his lips. The glow transfers from her body to his, then fades away, leaving Ryoga looking more confident than before.]
Ukyo: More magic?
Ryoga: Prepare to lose!
[He charges. Insert wild martial arts fight scene. Ryoga is fighting unarmed, but he's wildly strong. No ki attacks here, just lots of kicks, punches, and swings. Ukyo is generally able to dodge, and but Ryoga just shrugs off any blow she lands with her spatula.]
Ryoga: You're pretty good, but I'm not going to lose.
Ukyo: I am fighting for a righteous cause, and I *will* punish you!
Ryoga: I will never be a loser again! I will never be lost again!
[This time, when she swipes at him with her spatula, he catches it and pulls it from her hands. Off-balance, Ukyo stumbles forwards. Their legs get tangled up together, and they fall, Ukyo's hand scrabbling at Ryoga's chest as she tries to catch herself. She pushes free - and comes away with Ryoga's orchid in her hands.]
Ryoga: What? I've... lost? Ranko?
[Ukyo takes up fighting stance again, then relaxes as she realises the fight is apparently over.]
Ranko: Farewell, Ryoga-sempai.
[Ryoga looks devastated, and stumbles out of the arena. Ranko approaches Ukyo.]
Ukyo: Wow. That was pretty strange. What was all that stuff about a bride?
Ranko: I am the Orchid Bride, and from now on, I am a flower that blooms only for you.
[Ranko takes Ukyo's hand. Ukyo looks, well, shocked.]
NOTES: Surprised at some of the faces showing up in the Council? Not sure why Ryoga is acting so strangely? Wondering where the rest of the cast is? Stay tuned for another exciting episode of Wild Orchid!
Neither Ranma nor Utena belong to me. I am certainly not the first person to think of crossing these two series, although I think the *way* I've done it is a first. :) This takes place completely outside any canon universe, so you do not need to know any continuity for either series, everything will be different anyway. Actually, it might make *more* sense if you haven't seen either show. Characters from Ranma will be recast in strange ways, and characters from Utena will not appear, not even in cameos. (Probably.) This first episode will be very taken-from-Utena in order to set the scene, don't get discouraged if people are acting strangely and you don't know why yet.
---
[Shadow players, blocked by a curtain.]
Unseen Voice: Once upon a time, there was a princess mourning the deaths of her mother and father, when along came a prince, riding on the back of a great white horse. He was beautiful and kind and surrounded by the smell of flowers, and his soft fingers wiped away her tears.
[The Shadow Prince figure kneels before the little girl.]
Unseen Voice: "Little one, alone with your grief, be strong and do not lose your nobility as you grow up. Remember me and we will meet again. This ring will guide you to my side."
[The Prince places a ring on the girl's finger, and vanishes.]
Unseen Voice: Was the ring meant as an engagement ring? Perhaps, and that would be a good story for a princess. But because of her admiration for the gentle stranger, the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! But was that really a good idea?
---
Episode One: The Orchid Bride
---
[We are outside a large school. Teenage students in uniforms scurry around from building to building, waving and yelling at each other. A cute young girl is waiting on the steps, holding a bag and sighing. Her hair is long and brown, except for two small pink braids that fall over her shoulders.]
Girl: What's taking so long? Where are you? I don't want to be late for the first day of a new semester...
[Another student approaches]
Student: What are you standing around here for, Akari?
Akari: Waiting for my one true love.
Student: You missed the boat. Your "boyfriend" left the dorm, like, half an hour ago! So much for true love, eh?
[Student laughs and continues into the building. Akari shakes her fist.]
Akari: You'll pay for this!
[She also turns and rushes into the building. Camera pulls back to reveal a decorative plaque - Ohtori Academy - and a logo, looking something like a fleur-de-lis, but with a larger teardrop shape at the base. We move over the grounds - big school, lots of nice facilities - and finally wind up in a corridor. A teacher (cross, skinny, bad hair, pointy 70's-glasses) is confronting a student, who is wearing the boy's uniform of pants and jacket, but from the obvious bosom is not a boy. She also has long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, tied with a little white bow, and a silver ring.]
Teacher: Kuonji Ukyo. *Miss* Kuonji.
Ukyo: Enh? I mean, yes, ma'am?
Teacher: I hope you are not planning to wear that all semester.
Ukyo: What's wrong with my clothes? All the boys wear this.
Teacher: And you, *Miss* Kuonji, are not a boy.
Ukyo: There's no rule that says a girl can't wear a boy's uniform, is there?
Teacher: Not... officially...
[Ukyo puts her hands on her hips and grins.]
Ukyo: Then there's no problem. See you!
[She bounds off down the hall, with long, athletic strides, her ponytail flying out behind her. The teacher glares.]
Teacher: Little troublemaker...
[Cut to the sports field. A group of girls is playing lacrosse. Ukyo, now in a tank top and shorts, is clearly the star of the set, scoring point after point, to the great approval of the crowd. When the match ends, a cluster of giggling girls rush up to offer her towels and water bottles.]
Ukyo: One at a time, please!
[She begins to walk back towards the main buildings. Most of the crowd peels off in separate directions, but a few boys are still tagging along after her.]
Male Student: You know, if you could join the boy's team, we'd take a championship for sure.
Ukyo: Who wants to play with a bunch of sweaty, noisy boys?
Male Student: You're practically a boy yourself, aren't you? You're great!
[Ukyo thumps him lightly with the stick.]
Ukyo: Don't be rude. Just because I'm not helpless doesnt mean I'm not a girl.
Male Student: Then why do you *dress* like a boy?
[She slings the stick back over her shoulder.]
Ukyo: I'm not. I'm dressed like a Prince. A knight in shining armor. I don't want to wait around for someone to save me... I want to help other people...
Male Student: Huh?
[But Ukyo's attention is elsewhere. The camera turns to show us a little gazebo, hidden between buildings and half overgrown with vines and flowers. Ukyo stops and stares.]
Ukyo: That smell... the scent of orchids. It reminds me of times long ago...
[She walks closer, so that she can see two figures inside. A young man, tall and strong, with a fancier version of the boy's uniform and yellow bandana tied around his left upper arm, and a girl, short and buxom, with fiery red hair flowing in waves over her shoulders.]
Ukyo: Oops. I hope I'm not spying on a romantic interlude...
[The girl reaches out for the boy, and he shoves her roughly back. She stumbles, but doesn't fall.]
Ukyo: Lover's quarrel?
[The girl tries to approach him again, and he raises a fist threateningly.]
Ukyo: Hey, now, there's no call for that...
[The girl turns away, and he lowers his hand again.]
Ukyo: Phew! I was worried... AAGH!
[Someone has just pounced on the inattentive Ukyo from behind, knocking her onto the ground.]
Akari: Ukyo-sama!
Ukyo: Let me up!
Akari: This is your punishment for leaving me behind this morning! How could you? I had to walk into class all by myself... Now say you're sorry!
Ukyo: Sorry, Akari-chan. I wasn't thinking.
[The two girls climb back to their feet and dust themselves off. Now Akari notices what Ukyo was looking at earlier. The couple are still standing in the gazebo, although the girl is now watering the flowers and the boy is staring off in the opposite direction.]
Akari: Oh! Ryoga-sama...
Ukyo: Ryoga?
Akari: You don't know who he is?
Ukyo: Is he famous or something?
Akari: That's the Student Council Vice-President. The most important student on campus except Kuno himself! And he's very strong, and a martial artist, and...
Ukyo: Who's the girl?
Akari: Oh, her... That's Himemiya Ranko. She's weird. She almost never turns up for classes. She just plays with the flowers, like she was a gardener or something. I don't think she's all there, if you know what I mean... Anyway, she's supposed to be in our class now.
Ukyo: So she's Ryoga's girlfriend?
Akari: No! Someone as strong and brave as Ryoga-sama would never get involved with an airhead like that...
Ukyo: You have a thing for this guy, don't you.
Akari: Who, me? [blushes, then shakes her head] Don't be jealous! You're the only one for me, Ukyo. You're cooler than any boy, and so much more dependable... [a thought strikes her] ... except when you're making me LATE!
[Akari grabs Ukyo's ponytail and hauls her off towards the dorms. At the same time, Ranko takes Ryoga's hand and they exit the gazebo, heading the other way. We follow them to another building, into an old elevator, and up to an octagonal room lined with windows. In the center of the ceiling is a chandelier, a circle of lights with a large crystal teardrop in the middle. Beneath this stands a table, and around that table several students are sitting. Their outfits look similar to Ryoga's, but are color-coded differently.]
[The leader, a tall man with poofy bangs and a uniform trimmed in dark blue, stands.]
Blue: So, you made it on time for once, Ryoga. I suppose we have the Bride to thank for you not getting lost.
Ryoga: Why are we having a Council meeting all of a sudden?
[A short girl, her uniform trimmed in bright red, slams her fist on the table.]
Red: Because of the way you're behaving, you pig!
[A slender girl, with a high ponytail and a flower in her hair. Her uniform is more of a salmon-pink. Her voice is high and pretty; her speech patterns sophisticated. Upper class accent.]
Pink: Please, we must be civil. We of the Student Council are sworn to uphold the Code. We have been chosen to wear the Signet [She holds up a hand, showing off a thick silver ring. The central design looks like a teardrop. All of the Council members are wearing them] because of our nobility. The entire school looks up to us. We must behave ourselves accordingly.
Blue: We are concerned about your relationship with the Bride. She is currently engaged to you, but you do not seem to be treating her with the courtesy she deserves.
Red: You keep your fat hands off her, you pervert! Just because she's your Bride doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with her!
Ryoga: I haven't done anything to her, Akane. I don't *want* to do anything to her. With her. I... [He looks over at Ranko, who has been standing silently all this time, and looks away just as fast] I don't even like her.
Akane (Red): You expect me to believe that from a boy?
Blue: Be calm, oh fiery one. Ryoga, it is our wish that you behave more respectfully towards your Bride, particularly when you are in public.
Ryoga: I have the right to treat her however I want, don't I, Kuno? I won her, after all. I'm stuck with her.
[Ranko raises her head and speaks for the first time.]
Ranko: I am Ryoga-sama's Bride. I will do whatever he wishes.
Ryoga: See? If you want her, *you* win her. Then do whatever you want.
Kuno (Blue): Don't forget the next duel will soon be upon you.
Ryoga: I look forward to it. I hope someone will give me a better challenge this time.
[Ryoga and Ranko exit via the elevator. Akane slams her hand on the table again, fuming.]
Akane: If he doesn't even want her, why does he keep winning duels? He *must* be a pervert.
Pink: He has his own reasons. We all do. Do not judge so quickly what you do not understand.
Akane: Yes, Konatsu-senpai.
[We cut back to Ukyo and Akari. Time has clearly passed. They are sitting together in a classroom. Class has just ended - the other students are exiting. Akari is holding Ukyo's hand and examining her ring, making the silver flash in the light of the nearby window.]
Akari: That's so pretty... That pattern looks like the school logo, doesn't it?
Ukyo: A little bit, I guess.
Akari: Where did you get it?
Ukyo: A prince on a white horse, my promised fiance... This ring will guide me to his side...
Akari: Hrm?
Ukyo: I'm sorry, I can't really remember. I was very young, it's all mixed-up.
Akari: Oh, I know how that is. When I was little my mother told me I would marry a man who was stronger than a pig... Or something like that. That's all I can remember.
Ukyo: Huh. Why a pig?
Akari: My grandfather runs a pig farm. Really big pigs.
Ukyo: Oh.
[Both girls suddenly notice, through the window, a crowd milling around outside.]
Akari: What's going on out there?
[They go outside. A group of students are picking up bits of paper off the ground and holding them up to each other.]
Ukyo: What's going on?
Male Student: Somebody sent a love letter to Vice-President Hibiki. He was so angry he turned red and tore it up and threw the pieces out here.
Female Student: It's hilarious! Listen to this: "I dance with you in my dreams at night, Ryoga-sama..."
Ukyo: This is terrible! Throw that away, it doesn't belong to you. What sort of person reads someone else's love letter? It's none of our business, right Akari?
[Ukyo turns to look at her friend... but Akari has gone white and tears are trembling in her eyes.]
Ukyo: Akari?
[Akari turns and flees. Ukyo takes a few steps after her, pulling away from the crowd, but gives up trying to catch her.]
Ukyo: You sent that letter to Ryoga? ... How dare he embarass you like this? Nobody treats my best friend that way. Ukyo to the rescue!
[We follow Ukyo as she storms around the school in Righteous Indignation mode. It takes her a while to track down Ryoga, so there are various comedic takes of her yanking doors open and disturbing people behind them along the way. Finally she catches up with him outside, where Ranko is holding his hand and leading him along a path.]
Ukyo: YOU!
Ryoga: Who are you?
Ukyo: Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you can treat a lady's heart like trash!
Ryoga: Huh? What are you talking about?
Ukyo: The love letter!
Ryoga: You sent me that letter? Enh... [He looks at Ukyo and turns mildly green.]
Ukyo: [insulted, but carrying on] No, you jerk, it was written by my friend Akari.
Ryoga: I don't care *who* wrote it. I don't want it!
Ukyo: What sort of heartless bastard would leave a girl's tender words out to be laughed at?
Ryoga: Look, I think you're getting carried away here. All I did was...
Ukyo: You do martial arts, right?
Ryoga: Yes?
Ukyo: I challenge you to a duel!
Ryoga: Huh?
[Just then, a beam of light happens to fall on Ukyo's ring, illuminating it for Ryoga.]
Ryoga: So that's it. You're the new challenger.
Ukyo: I... what?
Ryoga: Meet me after classes in the duel arena in the forest behind the school.
[He takes Ranko's hand again and she leads him away.]
Ukyo: The Forbidden Forest?
[Cut to Ukyo standing on a path leading into an obviously Dark And Forbidding woods, with a battered 'No Trespassing' sign to the side. She's still in the standard boy's uniform, but with a little something extra... there's now a giant spatula slung over her shoulder. (Hands up if you were waiting for that.)]
Ukyo: Maybe I should have asked Akari what style of fighting this guy uses, but I didn't want to mention him until I could say I'd taught him a lesson. He won't be expecting my spatula, that's for sure.
[She walks into the woods.]
Ukyo: I'll pound him flatter than a pancake. Imagine, the thought of me writing him a love letter made him sick! ... Well, it makes me sick, too, but that's not the point.
[She arrives at a metal gate. There is an ornate handle, carved with flower petals.]
Ukyo: I guess this must be the way to the 'Duel Arena'. Weird. How do I get in?
[She tugs on the handle with one hand. It doesn't budge.]
Ukyo: Is it locked?
[She brings her other hand up, and as the ring nears the handle, it begins to glow. The surface of the gate ripples like water, and a single droplet flies from the handle to strike the ring.]
Ukyo: Ow! That's hot! But... now it's cold?
[The handle suddenly turns of its own accord, and the gate opens.]
Ukyo: Okay...
[She passes the gate and climbs a set of marble stairs, leading her at last to a large circular arena. Ranko and Ryoga are already standing there. She pauses to catch her breath for a moment, then finally looks up and gasps. Overhead, far above, can be seen a wild flower-garden, hanging upside-down in the sky.]
Ryoga: Never seen the Garden of Stars before?
Ukyo: What's going on? What is this place? And why didn't I see that thing before, in the woods?
Ryoga: It's just a mirage. Or magic.
Ukyo: I don't understand.
Ryoga: What I don't understand is how a girl like you got a Signet.
Ukyo: A Signet?
[Ryoga holds up his hand, and she sees the ring.]
Ryoga: Only the Student Council wear these. Until you came.
Ukyo: A ring like mine? But... how...
Ryoga: Ranko! Prepare us for battle!
Ukyo: Ranko... Himemiya Ranko? What are you doing here?
Ryoga: The Bride has to be here.
Ukyo: Bride?
[Ranko steps up to Utena and fastens a white orchid to her jacket.]
Ukyo: Orchids? My prince's flower...
Ranko: The person who loses the orchid loses the duel.
[She crosses to Ryoga and attaches a yellow orchid to him, then turns back to Ukyo.]
Ranko: Good luck.
Ryoga: Why are you wishing her good luck? Can't you be loyal even for a few minutes? You're supposed to belong to me!
Ranko: I am sorry, Ryoga-sama.
Ukyo: Why do you let him order you around?
Ranko: He is my champion. I belong to him.
Ukyo: Your champion?
Ryoga: Can't we just fight already?
[Ukyo unlimbers her spatula.]
Ukyo: This is all totally weird, but as long as you get what's coming to you, I guess the rest doesn't matter.
[Ranko steps between them.]
Ranko: Flowers of the stars, waters of life, unlock the magic of Dios that sleeps within me and bring us the power to revolutionise the world!
[Ranko begins to glow. She steps up to Ryoga and plants a kiss on his lips. The glow transfers from her body to his, then fades away, leaving Ryoga looking more confident than before.]
Ukyo: More magic?
Ryoga: Prepare to lose!
[He charges. Insert wild martial arts fight scene. Ryoga is fighting unarmed, but he's wildly strong. No ki attacks here, just lots of kicks, punches, and swings. Ukyo is generally able to dodge, and but Ryoga just shrugs off any blow she lands with her spatula.]
Ryoga: You're pretty good, but I'm not going to lose.
Ukyo: I am fighting for a righteous cause, and I *will* punish you!
Ryoga: I will never be a loser again! I will never be lost again!
[This time, when she swipes at him with her spatula, he catches it and pulls it from her hands. Off-balance, Ukyo stumbles forwards. Their legs get tangled up together, and they fall, Ukyo's hand scrabbling at Ryoga's chest as she tries to catch herself. She pushes free - and comes away with Ryoga's orchid in her hands.]
Ryoga: What? I've... lost? Ranko?
[Ukyo takes up fighting stance again, then relaxes as she realises the fight is apparently over.]
Ranko: Farewell, Ryoga-sempai.
[Ryoga looks devastated, and stumbles out of the arena. Ranko approaches Ukyo.]
Ukyo: Wow. That was pretty strange. What was all that stuff about a bride?
Ranko: I am the Orchid Bride, and from now on, I am a flower that blooms only for you.
[Ranko takes Ukyo's hand. Ukyo looks, well, shocked.]
NOTES: Surprised at some of the faces showing up in the Council? Not sure why Ryoga is acting so strangely? Wondering where the rest of the cast is? Stay tuned for another exciting episode of Wild Orchid!
