Really short one shot. I'm working on the next chapter of Leaves of Red and I got stuck, so I wrote this. It actually helped. I hope you enjoy.

Reviews are sexy.


Needles don't judge. They're silent, willing, and ready to do whatever you ask of them.

Matt stared hard at the needle cradled in his hand. He studied the shine of the medal, he examined the hollow hole at the end, the sharp tip that it was nestled in. His eyes found the liquid waiting patiently to be shot into someone, something, anything, it didn't care. It didn't mattter.

Nothing mattered.

His thumb pressed the top of the syringe, the blood drumming in his arm, waiting, waiting waiting.

thump. thump. thump.

He brought the needle to his brusied flesh, a smile curling his lips.

The needle broke the skin.

thump. thump. thump.

Eyes dialated. Bliss.

And just like that, life melted away, and his heart was still thudding.

thump. thump. thump.

He looked at the needle again, at it's bloodied tip, at it's now unoccupied shaft.

He thrust the needle into his pocket for later tonight, he was going to need it.

Mello.

Mello didn't approve, of course. Mello didn't approve of anything, but Matt didn't see his life going anywhere. He just sat and nibbled on his chocolate, playing mind games that he knew he was going to lose.

He was stagnant.

thump. thump. thump.

He let the thought of Mello slip away and he let himself slide into obivion. He sank to the ground, his eyes slipping shut and his smile growing.

This is what it is to be alive.

This is what it is to matter.

This is reality.

This is fate.

thumpthumpthump.

This is life.