A fic based around Jack and Kate opening the marshal's case in Season 1. Basically it's my attempt at explaining what was going on in Jack's head at the time, since I didn't really like him in that scene. Written a while ago.


Walk Away

He shouldn't have done it. When she came to him and said "we've got a problem", he should have followed his initial instincts and let her to deal with it herself. As if he didn't have enough to worry about without her issues. Claire was still missing, the camp on the beach was about to be submerged by the rising tide, not to mention the fact that they were still stranded on an island, quickly losing hope of rescue. But she asked for help, and as she said, he was the only one who knew about her. He'd never been able to ignore people who asked for help, regardless of his reservations. Most people would consider that character trait noble; it often caused him more trouble than he cared to admit.

When she told him about the case, he suspected that she had some ulterior motive. She always seemed to be holding something back, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. This suspicion was proved correct when she deceived him getting the key to open the case. He felt betrayed by her then, obviously, but he felt betrayed by himself more. He could have avoided this.

He insisted that she be there when they opened the case. He always kept his word. For some reason, it was important to him that she see this. Maybe she would realise that she didn't always have to lie. That people wouldn't always be lying to her.

As they sat in the caves, he studied her for a moment. She looked like she wanted nothing more than to bolt. She looked trapped. That was partly his fault, he supposed. Maybe it wasn't fair for him to put her through that. But it was too late now.

He was surprised when he opened the case to see that it contained exactly what she had said it would. Guns, ammo. Kate started to show a little more interest as he began to pull these items out. She seemed apprehensive, like she wanted to know how he was reacting to all this. Jack refused to give her that. He still felt betrayed.

As he brought out the envelope marked 'personal effects', he realised that this was what she had wanted all along. Unbelievable. "Is this it? This what you wanted?". He noticed how condescending he sounded as he said that. But he couldn't help feeling that she deserved it. If there was something of hers in this case, why couldn't she have just said so? Why did she have to be so childish, tricking him into helping her? If she'd just told him the truth and asked, he would have helped.

She was shaking a little as she opened it. He stared at her intently, making her visibly uncomfortable. She pulled out a little toy plane. He couldn't believe it. All that, just for a toy. She seemed lost in her thoughts as she stared at it. He brought her back, demanding to know what it was. What was so important about it, why she wanted it so badly.

It was obvious to him that she didn't want to share this particular story. She started to leave the cave, but he blocked her. He wouldn't let her get away with it that easily. She stood there, cornered by him, and for a few seconds he saw fear in her eyes. All thoughts of her deceit evaporated briefly as he wondered what had happened to her for her to feel that.

It didn't last long, though. Anger quickly set in again. He started yelling for her to tell the truth. He wasn't really sure why, all of a sudden, he needed this from her, and he felt remorse even as he was shouting. But she had to understand, she couldn't keep living like this. She couldn't keep lying to everyone, she had to grow up.

"It belonged to the man I killed!" He felt shock roll over him as these words sank in. Looking at her, she seemed to be feeling the same thing. Her eyes were filled with pain and guilt, and she burst into tears. Finally, he let her go.

He watched her sink down to the ground. He didn't know what to do. He barely knew what he was feeling. He began to feel horrible for causing her to feel this much distress. He'd pushed her to far. But he didn't feel quite as guilty about this as he probably should have. He was till so angry with her. None of this would have happened if she'd just told the truth.

More than anything, he was reeling with the shock if her sudden outburst. He was sure she hadn't meant to reveal that bit of information. He knew, from the marshal, that she'd done something bad, but watching her on the island he'd somehow managed to convince himself that it was surely just a misunderstanding. Kate didn't seem capable of committing such an act.

Suddenly, he didn't know who she was. He was staring at a stranger. He had to get away from her. He needed to think, to re-evaluate everything she'd done while he'd known her. Maybe there were motives behind everything she did. Maybe she really was dangerous. At any rate, he couldn't stand watching her cry like that, knowing he'd been partly responsible. Leaving her with her tears, he walked away.


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