i was young and impressionable
my morality questionable
I remember it clearly, I was volatile, I thought I was doing the right thing, joining up with my brother and becoming part of Olafs crew.
when i happened to fall into a howling abyss
and i havn't hit the bottom yet
Then everything I did just turned out bad, or worse. I saw them at the Hotel Denoument, Violet, poor poor Violet, she must hate me after what I did.
Olaf ordered them dead, and has holding a small crossbow, aimed at Klaus. I jumped Count Olaf, he fell and missed, I couldn't bear seeing him kill my beloved Klaus, Olaf slipped over, thanks to me, causing the crossbow to hit the ground and fire itself.
I looked in horror as the crossbow bolt flew from the end of the weapon, hitting Sunny, killing Sunny.
Then my brother Fernald, he stepped forwards and used his hooks to slice Klaus's throat. I was in shock, I grabbed a knife off Olaf and ran towards my brother, stabbing him in the head repeatedly, for what he had done to Klaus. I felt that if i did this to the killer of Klaus then he might come back, I might have my Klaus back once more.
I realised then it was my brother i had just killed. I looked at Violet, and then ran.
The police ended up arriving, and this time they couldn't ignore what was happening, they locked up Olaf.
the abandoned castle of my soul
the abandoned castle of my soul
i was only seventeen when i lost control
in the abandoned castle of my soul
I felt dead inside. Everyone in the world who I loved was dead. I could do nothing but cry, and run.
i reached out for anything white
with unspeakable appetites
The two powdered faced ladies found me, they had the right idea i thought. Leaving Olaf's troupe when they did. But was I right to join them? I thought so at the time, but it was another wrong decision.
found myself in the lair of a killing despair
They were as bad as Olaf, worse even, but not against children, never children. They insited that.
But still, they killed, made me kill also, and that's how it's been for the last ten years.
Recently they've just been sending me out alone, less risk that way. I'm already in too deep to betray them anyway.
now it's ten years on and i'm still there
But I don't care, this is the last time they'll use me like that, one more killing, no, two more, and then I'm done. Never again.
I'm scared, I knock on the front door of the rebuilt Baudelaire mansion. Violet, the lone occupant opens the door.
Surely she remembers me, even though we havn't seen eachother for ten years.
Surely she hates me, yet she invites me in.
She hands me some tissues, I guess she noticed my tears.
I look up at her face and see her own tears, running down her sad, pretty face.
Seeing me must have caused her to remember again.
"I'm sorry-" I begin, but she interrupts.
"There's no need, it was a long time ago." She hugs me. I didn't expect and don't deserve this. I push her arms away.
"No, that's not what I meant," I pull out the knife, "I'm really sorry."
I plunge the knife into her chest, twist it and pull it out, then slice her across the throat.
She just falls to the ground.
"Please forgive me," I say, but she's not listening.
I lean over and kiss her dead lips softly before turning the knife on myself, and as i feel the blade entering my body and the blood leaving it, I feel good for the first time in far too many years.
the abandoned castle of my soul
the abandoned castle of my soul
i was only seventeen when i lost control
in the abandoned castle of my soul
