AN: Oh dear, the start of a full length fic by an author who can rarely ever put out more than a drabble. What is the world coming to? SasuNaru humorous (I hope :D) fluff abound in this fic, although not too much in this first chapter. But much is planned
Disclaimer: I don't own them, do you?
Naruto swatted lightly at the disturbance in his ear, letting out a little groan and burying his face farther into the pillow. It was late. He had just come home from a three day long trip with that damn perverted ero-sennin, meaning he had trained all three of those days for hours and hours and god damn hours while the dirty old man peeped at girls and refused to tell the boy just what in the name of hell he was supposed to be doing. And then when he finally DID tell him, the lech had the gall to tell him to practice some more. Being such, Naruto was not a happy Naruto as per his normal attitude, and wanted nothing more than sleep.
But that annoyance was still there, right by his ear, tickling a little bit and just plain being a nuisance. He vaguely wondered to himself if he had left the window open, but he couldn't recall ever even opening it in the past few months, although, in his current mental state of nearly completely asleep, it was more than possible he was mistaken. However, it wasn't very cold. It was quite comfortable in his little bed, in fact, so he ruled that option out completely.
Through his groggy mind, the blond barely began to percept that the annoyance was more than just a simple annoyance, more than a gust of wind or something equally bothersome. It began to take shape, molding itself into something more substantial, something that he was familiar with. It was finally breaking through the barrier of sleep that Naruto had unsuccessfully tried to keep up, forming into what the boy took to be a voice. And as this voice began to take shape further, it became a familiar voice. One that he heard often, nearly everyday.
"Oi, dobe. Dobe, wake up." Eerily familiar was this voice, eerily familiar.
"Wake the hell UP, baka!" THUMP.
Naruto's eyes flew open as he hit the floor, mattress landing on top of him, along with his blanket and pillow. It took another moment still for everything to finally sink in, but he was finally able to place the eerily familiar voice that had been haunting him. "TEME! Sasuke, what are you doing sneaking into my apartment in the middle of the night! Have you no decency? You're as bad as Ero-sennin!"
The blond shoved the mattress off of his body, and most ungracefully untangled the blanket from around him before standing up to stare at the boy in front of him. Said boy was simply standing in the middle of the trash littered apartment, arms crossed, and glaring back. They stood there for a moment, staring at each other, warring with their eyes, before Naruto snapped. He rushed the form in front of him, intending to tackle him and beat him for all that the sharingan user was worth, his death playing out in the blond's mind. How dare Sasuke barge into his apartment uninvited in the middle of the night, annoy him for countless minutes and then FLIP him out of his own god damned bed? How DARE he?
However, Naruto forgot to take into account his fatigued state before lunging at his rival. He was tired. Very, superbly, undeniably, utterly and terribly tired. Tired to the point that he forgot that he was tired, and he barely had time to recognize in his sluggish mind that his lunge wasn't very lungish, thus making it more than easy for Sasuke to anticipate the attack. What Sasuke himself didn't anticipate was the degree to which Naruto's fatigue had consumed the boy, thus his own delayed reaction when mid-lungish-type-action of Naruto, the blond completely collapsed to the ground, right in front of him.
Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, visibly confused. The idiot couldn't be THAT tired, could he? He only had a magically never-ending supply of chakra and energy, he could never be tired to the point where he collapsed before a fight even began. Something was wrong with this picture. Very wrong. Perhaps he was faking it? Playing dead so Sasuke would leave him alone, or so that he would turn his back and the kyuubi holder could jump him? Definitely not. Naruto wasn't that smart, at least not when he wasn't in the heat of battle. And even when he was, Sasuke was pretty sure that the blond simply went into auto-pilot or something. Naruto just was just plain tactless.
Sasuke bent down to examine the boy, wary of any sudden movements. Poking at Naruto gently, he received a snort as a response, before a fully asleep Naruto decided his position wasn't very comfortable, and threw his arm over the ebony haired youth in front of him and turned onto his stomach.
"Erk!" Sasuke was in no way ready for that, finding himself completely pinned under an unconscious Naruto, "Naruto! Get the hell off of me, idiot!"
But it was to no avail. This time, Naruto was out for good, and Sasuke could have cried. That is, if he were one to cry. Which he wasn't. He was an avenger, and avengers didn't cry, that was simply unbefitting. Instead, he groaned in frustration and tried to throw the boy off of himself. Unfortunately for Sasuke, life was against him at the moment, and leverage was not his friend. Neither was the nearly full weight of the body above him, pinning his arms to his sides, making it not only nearly impossible to breath, but also to perform any sort of jutsu.
Time for plan C. Yelling wasn't getting through to the idiot, not that it ever really did, and violence was an unattainable, yet deeply desired, course of action. Sasuke's last option was one of stealth, and one that could be dangerous should the boy actually wake up from it. But Sasuke was stronger than him, so it didn't really matter on way or the other. This option, this marvelous plan C of Uchiha Sasuke, was what he liked to call subconscious bribery.
"Oi, Naruto. I have something here that might be of interest to you," he whispered in the blond's ear with a little grin.
This would get Naruto off of him for sure. "Naruto, I have a coupon for all you can eat Ramen in my back pocket. It's a pity I don't care for it myself, if only there were someone who could put it to good use..."
No luck. This was bad, very bad. Naruto liked ramen. He liked ramen a lot. An ungodly a lot. He liked it to the unhealthy point where Sasuke had no idea why the boy hadn't keeled over from lack of proper nutrients. So much that it was safe to say Naruto loved ramen, and would more than likely sell his soul, along with the souls of his team mates, teachers, friends, acquaintances and quite possibly all of Konoha, to Orochimaru himself for an actual all-you-can-eat coupon for ramen. And then cry himself to death when he realized that he sold the Old man at Ichiraku's soul to get said coupon. And when Naruto didn't respond to the magical word, something was wrong.
"Naaruuto, did you not hear me? Ramen. Ramen, ramen, ramen. Pork ramen, beef ramen, shrimp ramen, miso ramen, chicken ramen. All-you-can-god-damned-eat ramen. For god's sake Naruto, wake the hell UP!" Sasuke was panting by the time he finished, his rather long winded speech coupled with the body laying on his lungs making for a lack of much needed oxygen.
Sasuke really was about to cry at this point, more from the want of air than anything else, but he truly and honestly was about to cry. And that depressed him even more, the fact that he was so emotionally weak. And still, Naruto did not awaken from his death like slumber. If it wasn't for the snoring, the sharingan user could have sworn Naruto WAS dead. Really, something was very, very wrong. And Sasuke made a mental note to find out what exactly this wrong thing was, as soon as the blond moved off of him.
Sasuke sighed. It would appear that he was spending the night under a Naruto blanket on a hard wooden floor. He had slept in worse places before, but none of them had involved a snoring blond and physical contact, which Sasuke really wasn't that into. Because he was Uchiha Sasuke, and the no physical contact went right along with the no crying thing. It just wasn't RIGHT. Not that these things were really his fault at the moment. But that didn't mean he had to put up with the situation happily. And oh dear god was Naruto cuddling him now!
Yes indeed, said blond had taken quite a liking to his new found teddy bear. His grip tightened ever so slightly, and he nuzzled his face into Sasuke's shirt, muttering something unintelligible. Sasuke merely sighed again, this time a bit louder. He was going to KILL Naruto when he woke up. Wait, even better. He was going to train some more, and he was going to master Tsukuyomi. Then he was going to find Naruto, and he was going to use it on him and make him watch Sasuke eat bowl after bowl of ramen. And then destroy Ichiraku. Over and over and over and over again. And THEN he'd kill him. Painfully.
And Sasuke lay there, plotting his revenge on Naruto, wondering what the hell Jiraiya had done to the boy, and thinking to himself in the back of his mind that Naruto must use strawberry scented shampoo. It was kind of nice, except Sasuke didn't like sweet things, and strawberries were generally sweet. And then he thought to himself that he probably shouldn't be thinking about the way Naruto's hair smelled, and went back to thinking about how to kill him, instead, completely pretending the other train of thought had never come up.
Really though, what HAD the old man done to Naruto? Whatever it was, Sasuke didn't like the results, and he fully intended on rectifying the situation as soon as possible. And killing Tsunade-sama as well, as she was the one who sent him over to check on Naruto in the first place, in the middle of the damn night. Though, he probably couldn't hurt her too much, so he decided to settle for hurting Naruto even more when he woke up, which wasn't very likely to be soon. He sighed yet again. Naruto was still cuddling him like a plushie, and he still couldn't breath properly. And when ever he DID inhale, he got two lungs partially full of strawberry air, and partially full of, well, nothing. And yet, as hard as he tried, he couldn't quite bring himself to hate the position he was in, resulting in his anger level rising another notch. It really, really was going to be a long night.
AN: Blah, this was finished at 2 am, so god only knows how bad it is. That's ok, though, because you're going to review, and tell me how bad you think it is, or how wonderful you think it is (I like that one better, personally), and then I'll have even more inspiration to continue. Isn't it grand how life works?
