Yay my first PIRATES fic. I've been planning on doing something on this for awhile, but I only just got around to starting to write it. PIRATES hasn't been made, so nobody had seen in. Nobody knows about Will Turner or Barbossa or Sparrow. Enjoy! BTW, I don't own anything PIRATES related. Just Kayli.
It's amazing how you can be stretched out on the white beaches of the Caribbean, looking at the clear cool water and listening to your ipod. And all of a sudden your life turns very, very sucky.
I don't come from a rich or well-to-do family by any means. My mom's boss has a huge crush on her and gave her a special bonus for working overtime: an all expenses paid vacation to the Caribbean. This would explain the swanky hotel, free food, and perfect view of the tiny islands scattered across the horizon. I know. It's AMAZING! My parents got divorced right after I was born, and even though my dad was CEO of this huge company, he would've never spent money on something like this for me. Don't get me wrong. My dad is a nice enough guy. But I only see him twice a year, so we don't really know each other, and neither of us is really interested in spending time together. It doesn't make me sad anymore. I accept it.
If that makes me a horrible person, fuck it. I don't care.
Anyways, Mom and I were really excited when Mr. Bigsly told us about the vacation. We went out a week before we had to leave and used what was left of her bonus to buy couple new bathing suits and some, eh, necessities. And before we knew it, we were on a plane headed to Sandy Beach, Barbados. We stayed in the Hilton. We didn't get the best room in the place, but the closest I had ever been to the Hilton was the Holiday Inn, so Mom and I were pretty happy. There were hot guys, tanning beds, a pool, everything. It was exactly as the brochure had described it. Except for one thing:
The complete psycho that lives in a hut down the beach.
That's exactly how I ended up in this God forsaken ship with a bunch of gross smelly guys that call themselves pirates and have locked me in a freaking cabin. Let me explain.
It was like I was telling you at the beginning. It was bright and sunny out, and I was laying stretched out on the beach in my new violet string bikini. Clearly, I was enjoying myself, when the weather completely freaked on us vacationers. Rain came pouring down and the sky above us was almost black. Grumbling about how I was going to hunt down the weathermen who had told us that it would be sunny and hot all week and spork their eyes out, I headed up to the hotel. I realized I didn't have my towel with me and doubled back to find it being blown down the beach.
"Fuck!" I yelled, stamping my foot. I out on the pair of old jeans I had in my beach bag and went after it. The wind blew harder and faster, and I considered just leaving it there, when I saw it blow in thought he open door of a small beach front cabin. I groaned and marched after it. When I approached the cabin, I knocked hesitantly on the still open door. Inside was a large, burly man in jean shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, making some kind of drink on the large butcher block table in front of him. He jumped when he heard me knock and turned around slowly.
"Yes?" My face flushed red and I pointed at y soggy towel a couple feet away from him.
"I'm sorry. My towel blew in here, and I didn't want to just leave it and all, cause, you know, that would be kind of rude but yeah…" I trailed off. He glared and handed me my towel. I chuckled nervously and started to turn away but he grabbed my wrist and turned me back around. I didn't like the look on his face.
"Tell me, girl. How would you like to be part of an experiment?" he asked, smiling at me in what he probably thought was a kind, encouraging manner. Which scared me even more.
"Um no that's okay." What I felt more like saying was, "Not even when hell freezes over, bastard." But because I'm such a nice person (that's laughable), I smiled polity and turned away. He didn't let go. I started to tug and kick, but he just started pulling me towards the ocean, bringing with him a small flask that he quickly grabbed form a shelf near the door. The wind was howling and the rain hurt like hell. It was coming down that hard. He pulled me towards a bank of large rocks than made a sort of walkway out into the ocean and we started the long walk.
"If the experiment is whether I can float or not, I can save you the trouble and tell you right now. It doesn't happen. I can't swim!" I yelled, but he either didn't hear me or pretended not to. Now there was no scary music or thunder or anything. What did happen was that he started muttering something under his breath and a flash of lightning came down. But it was brighter than lightning, and just hovered there in front of us.
"Holy shit holy shit holy shit! I'm going to die!" I started screaming.
"Not if my plan works, you won't!" he yelled. And then he threw me into the water. Now I had lied when I said I couldn't swim. I was actually pretty good. But not even an Olympic swimmer could've handled being in that water. Every time I tried to come up for air I got a mouthful of water. I started to realize that I was drowning, and finally just let myself fade into the darkness. It wasn't that bad once I accepted it.
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When I opened my eyes I wasn't in the ocean, and from what I looked like, I hadn't died either. This was certainly no heaven, and even though this place was filthy, it wasn't bad enough to be hell. In fact, there wasn't much light. Just one candle on the bed stand next to me. If you can even call it that. I was in a hammock with a gross smelling blanket on top of me. The "nightstand" was actually a crate. There were other unusual things around. Pulleys, ropes, things of that nature. It felt like I was rocking, and I realized that I must be on a ship. Someone probably saw what was happening and jumped in to rescue me! I hadn't seen any ships nearby when I was being tossed into a the ocean, but then again, I was kind of focusing on not dying while it was going on.
A knock at the door made me jump and I quickly sat up. It was a guy dressed in old fashioned clothing. Maybe mid 1700s it looked like. He was balding on top of his head, and the rest was long, gray and scraggly. He was carrying a tray of food.
"Sorry miss. Cap'n says you mighta bin hungry," he said in a rough Cockney accent. I laughed and took the tray.
"Thank you. So, um, what do you do? Are you an actor?" I asked, interested in where I was. I remembered taking field trips to see old colonial sites and the giant ships and watching the actors as they pretended to get ready to set sail. I had loved going on those tours, touching history. But that's what I assumed this was. The man burst out laughing.
"I aint no actor, m'dear. Why, I'm a wanted man! They catch me on a stage it'll be the noose for me , it will," he said. Wow this guy was good. I almost, okay well I did, believe that this guy was a criminal.
"Where am I?" I asked. The man handed me the tray of food.
"The Black Pearl miss. If you'll excuse me now must be getting' back to my duties on deck." he bowed slightly and left the room.
"Mornin' cap'n," I heard him mutters he was leaving. A second later, a man with long dark dreds, a dark mustache, and a beard walked into the room. He wasn't old, I could see that, and I would consider him hot if he would shower. And he was dressed in the epitome of a pirate costume. Loose brown trousers, black boots, a fluffy white shirt almost completely covered by a velvet black waistcoat with lace around the cuffs, topped off with a red bandana and dark brown pirate hat. The whole outfit looked dirty, tattered, and smelled bad. Like everything else on this damn ship.
And then my mother wants to know why I hate boats. Honestly. Imagine staying in something like this. It's gross. Plus, a place like this has to have bugs. If I see a roach, I will FLIP OUT! I'm not even kidding.
"Pintel! Tell Barbossa that I must speak to him later. Will be making a stop in the next few days to pick up…er… something," he called out the door while I was pondering his fashion statement. Or lack thereof.
"Ay ay, cap'n!" Pintel yelled back. I giggled because it reminded me of the Spongebob theme song. I love that little yellow sponge.
"Who lived in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants!" The "captain" was giving me a strange look. Crap I was singing it out loud. Oh well. I'm used to embarrassment. It happens to me a lot. The captain seemed to snap out of it and swaggered over to me. I could smell the alcohol a mile away. Crap! I'm on a ship! With a drunk crazy pirate dude! Not good! He gave me what I assumed was a poor imitation of an intimidating glare.
"Now then lass. Who are you and why are you on my ship?" he asked me. I tried to answer him, but instead burst out laughing. He even had the pirate talk down. He looked kind of offended that I was laughing and tried again. "Do you know who I am, love?"
"Someone that is making my life really miserable at the moment?" He wasn't amused.
"I am Captain Jack Sparrow!" he grinned.
O.o
"You don't know who I am?!" I snorted and gave him a once over.
"Uh no. Can I get off the boat now?" I asked. His mouth kept opening and closing like a fish and I laughed again. This guy was pretty entertaining. He stamped his foot like a child and gave me a pleading look.
"Captain Jack Sparrow? Most feared pirate in all 7 seas? Captain of the infamous Black pearl?" I sighed and shook my head sadly. "You've never heard of me?"
"….um okay look man. I hate to break it to you, but this is 2007. There are no pirates. None. At all. Now if you'll drop me off at the nearest island I can call the authorities so my mother can come get me," I told him. Great. Now he was looking at me like I was the crazy one. He sashayed over to me wearing a very smug smile on his face and put an arm around my shoulder.
"Love, I hate to break it to you, but this is most certainly not 2007. This would be the year 1742, and since I am, in fact, standing in front of you, there are pirates, and there are no islands that I may 'drop you off' at. So you will have to wait until our next stop, at which point you may then leave our company if you wish. Savvy?" he said, putting his face very close to mine. He has very bad breath, just so you know. Seriously, people here do not know how to brush their teeth. Anyways, he really seemed to believe this, so I went along with it.
"Right…I have no idea what I was thinking." I mumbled. I threw off the blanket and started to walk out of the room when I looked down. I was only wearing my jeans and a bikini. I looked back at Jack.
"Are there any other women on board? Cause I'll feel very awkward going up there without a shirt if there are only a bunch of dudes up there," I asked. He strutted to the door where I was and opened it. He looked me up and down and grinned.
"Why love, I think that what you're wearing right now looks positively radiant on you. How old did you say you were again?" I crossed my arms over my chest and glared.
"I'm 18. Now give me a shirt," I snapped. He sighed and look one more look at me.
"Are you sure-" he started to argue.
"Yes I'm sure! Give me a God damn shirt!" Ugh. Guys are such perverts. He sighed again with disappointment and gave me another long look, then waved his hand and walked out the door.
"Follow me!" he called over his shoulder. Still crossing my arms, I did. He led me down a hall and up a flight of steps that led onto the deck. There were people running around pulling on ropes, eating, counting out gold coins, and scrubbing the deck. Of course, commotion stopped momentarily when I walked aboard. Jesus. You'd think they had never seen a girl in a bathing suit before. Jack looked around at them all.
"Get back to work, you mangy dogs!" he yelled. There were choruses of "Ay, sir!" and I got a few more curious glances before they all went back to doing what they had been doing before.
"Sorry bout tha', love," Jack said, putting an arm around my waist and leading me over to a small door, "We haven't been on land in quite some time, so they've been quite deprived of he company of a women for awhile."
Ew. That's just all I can say about that. Ew.
I quickly pulled away and he puffed out his chest and didn't continue the conversation. I had a feeling Jack wasn't used to getting what he wanted. He opened the door and I was led into a small dining room. There was a wooden table with wooden chairs set around it. It was actually very nice, which made me suspect it probably wasn't his. On the far side of the room was a dresser, some chests, a few paintings and statues, and a leather trunk. A wardrobe was next to the queen sized bed, and next to that a wooden desk with a bunch of papers and a compass on it. Jack turned around and opened his arms wide to indicate the room around him.
"This, love, is the captains quarter. The best room aboard the entire ship! That dingy room you're staying in is nothing compared to this. Of course, if you aren't happy with your sleeping arrangements now that you see my wonderful lodgings I suppose I could always…"
"Ugh stop it! No! I just want clothes! Pronto!" He pouted and started going through the wardrobe. "And don't call me love anymore! My name is Kayli," I snapped. A second later he held up something.
"Got it!" He held up a blue corset and a midnight blue dress with a full skirt, puffed out sleeves, and a low neckline. I held the dress to myself.
"I'll drown in this. It's too big on me," I told him, handing it back. "Look, don't you just have, like, a regular shirt in here?" Jack rolled his eyes and threw the corset down, then continued to look for a shirt in the giant wardrobe. I held up the corset.
"And what the hell am I supposed to do with this?" I asked. He looked at me quizzically and threw me a puffy sleeved white shirt.
"You never wore a corset, girl?" I shook my head.
"I'm skinny enough already. I don't need it. Or do I?" I asked again. "I mean, I can always just get regular clothes when we stop." Jack put his hands on either shoulder and gave me a serious look.
"Love-er Kayli- if you were to look the part of a proper lady, I would be able to span you waist with my hands," he said, putting his hands on my waist, "And since I can't, that's where the corset comes in." I looked at the corset suspiciously and then shook my head.
"Screw that. I like being able to breathe. I'll just wear the shirt," I said, then looked down, "You can let go now." He sidled up closer and ran a hand through my blonde hair.
"What's the rush darling?" he replied huskily.
Okay. That's it! The gloves are coming off. If every person on this ship is going to hit on me at one point or another, I will swim back to shore! Dead serious. I don't care if I drown in the process.
"Ugh God get off of me," I cried, pushing him away. He held up both hands and shrugged.
"All right. But the offer still stands, you know, about the sleeping arrangements." God. He looked so smug. Like he was just biding his time until I flung myself into his arms. Like he was that hot. Okay, well he kind of was. But still! Just sitting there with his feet propped up on the table and tossed grapes into his mouth. Like I would fall for that seductive dark pirate look of his…
Stop it! Grrr. This was going to be harder than I thought.
"How about this. The second you discover something called soap, I'll take you up on your offer," I snapped. He threw down his grapes and startled himself so much he almost fell out of his chair.
"That's it? That's all I have to do?" he asked in disbelief, "Why didn't you tell me this a long time ago so I wouldn't 'ave wasted so much time?" he asked indignantly. I rolled my eyes.
The next few days were just a small indication of what was to come.
