Title: Mr. Pineapple

Author: Alex

Rating: G

Spoilers: Nope

Summary: Elrond tries to amuse a young Estel while he is sick.

Disclaimer: Don't own them :(

Notes: A huge thanks to Bill for beta'ing this for me. This fic was written for Tux's challenge which was:

" Fic must contain at least one scene that involves Elrond talking to a pineapple and the line (not necessarily in the same scene or said by Elrond) "That fruit will be the death of me!"

He stood silently just outside the doorway, listening to the breathing of his youngest son come from behind the door. He wondered again how he had gotten into this mess.

 Elladan and Elrohir had just left for a planned hunting trip, when Estel had come down with the flu. It was not very serious, just an upset stomach, a low - grade fever, and a slight cold, but the small boy still needed some quality bed rest to regain his health. With the twins away, Estel had fallen into a slight depression – unable to play outside or watch his brothers' comical antics. Thus, the role of comedian had turned to the elven lord.

Elrond pushed the door open, and stepped into the room, quickly closing the door behind him. Estel's eyes shot open and a shocked look came over his face, as he sat up. What was his ada doing dressed like that?

Instead of the usual clothes, the elven lord was wearing a full - length brownish - green dress. The upper part of the dress had a snug fit, but it flared out to a giant puff by the knees, adding at least a foot extra on each side. However, after the puff, it tailored in by the feet; a hastily added cord preventing the flare to continue to the floor. In rows across the entire dress, large upside - down triangle points were drawn on with some type of black ink. On his head, he wore a large green hat with leaves? Hefty narrow vegetation were stuck to the top of the hat finishing the ensemble.

Elrond took in his son's startled expression and inwardly groaned, remembering his shocking appearance. Taking a deep breath he started talking to the object in his right hand; a pineapple

"Hello Pineapple," he looked directly at the object as he spoke, pretending as if he was alone in the room.

He raised his voice slightly and didn't move as he said his next line. "Hello Mr. Pineapple! How are you this fine leafy day?" he moved the pineapple in his hand back and forth as he spoke, making it look as if the fruit in his hand was talking back to him.

Elrond took a quick glance at his son, and saw he was smiling. Grinning himself, he focused back onto the fruit in his hand before saying, "Why, thank you Pineapple! I feel very juicy today!"

Shaking the pineapple again, he responded to himself, "Thank you for asking! You're leaves are rather green today. Have you found a different place to get sunlight?" A giggle was heard from the bed, before Elrond continued the conversation.

"Yes, I have, I will show you sometime. Forgive me, but your leaves look as if they are wilting, is there something the matter?" He forced himself to look concerned as he spoke to the pineapple.

"Well, you see. Recently, all of my crop-mates have been eaten by a lovely child. But, alas, I remain here, alone, uneaten. I am just as juicy as they are!" He shook the pineapple side to side, as if it were shaking its head.

With his left hand, Elrond reached out and patted the fruit on the leaves. "It's okay, I'm sure we can find someone who would love to eat you," Elrond said in a consoling manner. As he finished, he turned his head to look at the smiling young boy on the bed, who began to nod his head enthusiastically.

The elven lord, with a slight grin on his face that he was unable to hide, turned back to the fruit as he walked toward the door slowly, continuing to offer his verbal condolences.

Speaking up, Estel called out, a large grin on his face as he spoke, "Wait Ada! I'll eat Pineapple!"

Elrond turned back and sat beside the bed, pulling a knife off the bedside table and slicing a piece of the pineapple and handing it to his son, who ate it with joy, the juice of the ripe fruit creating a ring around his mouth. He asked, "Who is this 'Ada'? I am Mr. Pineapple, of the south pineapple patch!" He pretended to look insulted as he spoke, but he could not help a slight smile to come across his face.

Finishing that slice, he responded before he took another one, "I'm sorry, Mr. Pineapple," he emphasized this with a large smile, "Pineapple was right, he is very juicy" he bit into the next slice, with a grin.

Elrond laughed quietly at this, and continued feeding the young boy slices of pineapple, as they talked quietly. The pineapple was finished just as Estel was falling asleep. Elrond gently took a napkin from the table and wiped off the remaining juice from around his son's mouth. Indeed, he thought, Pineapple was very juicy.

His plan complete, he left the knife, napkin, and remaining leaves on the table. He kissed Estel's forehead before turning to walk out. After a quick glance at the peacefully sleeping boy, he was glad that his plan at worked.  He closed the door behind him and began creeping quickly back to his rooms.

A quiet cough from the other side of the corridor made him spin around to see a smiling Glorfindel standing behind him. He slapped his forehead with his hand, muttering, "This fruit will be the death of me!" before he continued toward his rooms. He ignored Glorfindel's loud laughing.

The End

Feedback would be lovely, if you don't mind, but either way, I hope you enjoyed!

-Alex