Disclaimer: I own none of these characters and seek no profit from this work. Just a little holiday angst and hopefully some joy. Also the title is from a song by the lovely Dolly Parton and the lyrics are her own.
Author's Note: In the tradition of last year's holiday episode, I decided to write a holiday fic in three parts. I promise it will actually be done before Christmas and I hope you like it.
Hey maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Callie gave a little sigh as she finished the stuffing and put it on the table. She listened to the voices in the living room and thought 'I can get through this without her. I had time before her and I'll be able to have time without her.' As she fought the tears, she heard April come in the room. She turned to her and offered a small smile and April offered a sympathetic one back.
Callie never thought she and April would be friends and if anyone had told her she wouldn't have been able to believe it. In fact, she wouldn't have been able to believe it almost as much as she couldn't believe that she now lived in Meredith Grey's attic. She thought back to that morning after she asked Mark for sorbet. He could see it in her eyes, it was a mistake and he took it more gracefully than she'd initially given him credit for.
Callie slept on the couch from then on. She slept there even on the nights she thought the sadness would overtake her and she wouldn't be able to survive without another warm body next to her. She thought of it as her recovery plan. Cristina had said that Callie was never single and Callie took it to heart. 'Perhaps there's something to gain from some time alone' she'd thought. When Mark and Lexie got back together, Lexie offered her room in Meredith's attic to Callie. Cristina had also offered for Callie to move in but Callie couldn't take the heartache she felt over Cristina wasting her gift so she took the lesser of two evils. Callie had always wondered why people ended up at Meredith's when they had no other place to go. She knew now though that Meredith's was actually the perfect place to mend your heart and your life.
"Do you need any more help?" asked April with her cheery disposition and turkey apron.
Callie shook her head as if to clear it and said "No thanks April, I think we're about done. You let everyone know we're ready if you'd like".
As April left, Callie remembered that first night she and April talked on the porch swing outside.
Callie was swinging and reading some research for a new technique on a surgery she had the next day. April came out and was a little startled to find Callie in the swing.
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were out here" she said as she moved to go inside.
Callie sighed a little frustrated and said "April do you ever think you might not act like I'm some wounded animal every time you see me?"
April looked a little confused and took a moment to compose herself. She took a breath and said more calmly "I just don't want to disturb you. I know you have been spending a lot of time alone and I just wasn't sure if you were ready for company yet"
It was Callie's turn to look a little confused. It was probably the most poignant thing she'd ever heard come out of April's mouth. It was as if April sensed her confusion and said "I know everyone thinks I'm innocent and ditsy and perhaps incredibly annoying. Maybe I've never slept with a man but I do know heartache. I know that you deserve respect to grieve and I just wanted to give that to you"
Callie cleared her throat a little and said "Here, sit" as she moved her books. As April sat down, Callie realized something. She'd been so frustrated with April, with her perkiness and her rainbows and bunny rabbits charm and she knew it was because she reminded her of Arizona. She just couldn't deal with it coming out of someone who wasn't that wonderful blonde woman whom she'd loved and lost. 'Still love' thought Callie.
As she and April sat and talked however, Callie realized that April reminded her of someone not linked to hurt and longing. She reminded her of someone with warmer current feelings associated with them and a longer history. April reminded Callie of her sister and it was that, that made Callie feel that perhaps she didn't have to avoid April but they could actually be friends. At the time, she didn't know how happy she'd be to have a friend who wasn't so connected to all she'd gone through, someone fresh and someone who could help her laugh and smile again.
She was brought back to the present by April's entering the kitchen again. "Everyone's ready" she said with a smile.
Callie took off her apron and fixed her hair. "Let's go" she said as she followed April into Meredith's living room.
