Gainex owns Evangelion, like I give a shit, if they cared about EVA they'd be making us another series so fuck them!! Anno is dead and if he ain't fuck him for leaving us without. I claim no liability for any similarities to any events ideas or people living, even dead. He's got a gun to my head, so I gotta write this. so you bastards can't sue, got that?

Unknown Title

I laid in the fist of a giant purple robot. Its fingers squeezing tightly around my ribs and arms."op i in i" (when the air is being squeezed out of you, you can barely talk, and then it's mostly in vowels).

"This is it man, this is the culmination of all that we've accomplished," that raving psychopath Shinji boasted.

I struggle uselessly to breath while in the grasp of that giant monstrocity.

"What isn't this what we wanted? The whole world purged, humanity clensed of its evils." he raved on.

"No..." I finally manage to wheeze out "Not like this..."

"It's all over man, any last words?" he continued in that cold voice of his, god I hate him, I hate myself for ever getting into this....

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perhaps I should go back to the beginning, for 6 months I couldn't sleep. with insomnia, you're never really asleep, but your never really awake. It seems like everything you see has a cloud of LCL around it, over it.

I went to Dr. Ritsuko's office, NERV's best and brightest doctor, and asked her to see if she could help me...

"No, you can't die from insomnia...." she calmly boringly stated.

"What about epilepsy? I doze off and find myself in odd places.... can't you prescribe something?"

"I'm sorry, you need healthy natural sleep, get plenty of excercise and chew some valerian root....."

"Please Dr. I'm in pain here," I interupted her with one last effort.

"You want to see pain, go to the testicular cancer meeting down at the community center tonight, now that's pain," she malicously stated as she walked off dismissingly

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The small sign set up at the entrace claimed 'remaining men together'. I shook my head oddly wondering why I bothered to come here...

I sat down in one of the last open seats in this giant circle. it's odd how we can create giant robots of war, but we still can't find cures for these diseases, I guess that shows the priorities of the human race, destroy rather than create.

A man was crying aloud the the group wailing about his life "my wife always wanted two children, a boy and a girl, I wanted two boys.... she just had her second child, a girl.... with her new husband.... she divourced me and took my son with her after the operation......" he burst into tears so hard at this point, none of us could understand what he was saying.

The leader of the group stood up and thanked the man for sharing, and announced that now we should all pair off.

I just sat there as all of the men paired off and cried on one another's shoulders. as they moved away from the circle, only one man besides me was still sitting.

The big moosy got up and waddled over to me, his eyes already shrink wrapped in tears. his pecks had turned into huge bitch tits, the tostosterone therapy after the surgery hadn't been entirely sucessful, his body had upped the estrogen....... the final result was bitch tits.

The big moosey who I saw's name was Bob, began crying all over me,"They're opening up my pecks to drain the fluid again next week.... I was a juicer, using steriods and shit, now my wife left me, and my own kids won't even return my phone calls......"

His talk of his sons brought to mind my own father, who's never loved me, never even cared enough about me to spend one waking moment since mom died with me. he's always been handing me down to one person or the other to take care of.

"Go ahead, you can cry," the big moosey offered. I found myself burying my face into those enormous bitch tits and wailing my eyes out. lost in oblivion....

.......................................................................................................

I woke up the next morning fully rested and feeling great. babies don't sleep this good.

soon I learned that I could sleep after going to a meeting with these kinds of people, these sick individuals. these people loved me, bob loved me because he thought that my testicals were removed too. every night I died, and every morning I was born anew feeling great. it became a custom of mine to spend time with these people and cry with them, I had many different groups, 7 in all...... one for each night of the week. people will do anything to sleep.

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I laid there, thinking to myself. She moved in well over 6 months ago. I think I like her, but I can't be sure. She doesn't like me so it doesn't really matter, does it? Well I guess not.

I pressed play, letting the calming music of my SDAT overwhelm me in sweet sweet escape. He is everything you want, he is everything you need, he is everything inside of you that you wish you could be..... I fell into the music, hoping, hoping when the tracks had run their course, I would wake up, and find this life was only some sick dream.

"Hey Wake up!!" damn I am being interrupted, I guess I won't find out if my hope is founded or not....

I looked up to see her leaning over me, calling for me. I take off my headphones and ask "What do you want?"

She said to me, almost sounding sweet "I'm hungry, go make me something to eat."

I just laid there, looking at her dumbly and asked "You woke me up, for that?"

She responded by waving her fist at me and threatening "Look at me Third Child, you will make me something to eat and it will be edible or I will kill you, is that understood?"

I scurried off to do her bidding. I am such a coward.

I poured the noodles into the boiling water, and stirred it slowly. well I guess life can't always be fuckin peachy or ever.

I set a bowel full of the slop down in front of her and walked off. She looked at the food complaining "Ramen again......." but I was already gone. I hate my life.

I walked around outside, looking at all the seemingly happy people. I stopped at a coffee shop, a place where I can get away.

I sat down in a booth, ordering a moca-latte. So I just sat there thinking to myself, wondering when my life was going to change. I was so engrossed into my own mind that I did not notice when the brew was set down on the table next to me, although I did take a sip of it, my mind never aknowledged it's existence, just like the world to me......

I was so into my self loathing, that I did not even notice him as he sat down across from me. I only aknowledged him after he spoke to me. "Do you know why they put LCL in Eva's?" I looked up at him, astonished by his knowledge of the Evangelions.

"No why?"

"because LCL gets you High, when you first get into the cockpit you are nervous and scared..... but after awhile you become calm, euphoric, you accept your fate. and then you kick the shit out of the angel and come back a hero....."

He sat there staring into me, as if sizing me up, then said "did you know that?"

"Do I know you?" I asked him confused. he was about medium height although well muscled, he was wearing a red leather jacket and a pair of mirror sunglasses. this look was topped off by blonde hair that shot up in small spikes from his head. what is up with this guy?

"No....... you don't, but you will" He said as he stood up. He slipped a slip of paper down on the table, and walked away.

I looked down at the slip of paper. there was a name, number, and a few other bits of information. "Shinji Ikari....." I muttered softly to myself.

I sat there thinking to myself for hours, the sun set and fell down beneath the land, and then there was a strike of thunder. A storm was brewing, and I knew Misato would get worried if I didn't get home soon. I tiredly stood up and trudged along back to home, where I lived anyways. I am Jack's cowardly spine.

As I walked through the hell-storm of lightning I continued my useless bead of thinking. Why do I pilot Eva, why am I afraid of others, why can't I fucking express myself? I am Jack's never ending stupidity.

I arrived at the condo around 1 am, I had taken my time getting there. She was there, oh god I wish she hadn't been there.

"Where the hell have you been dumpkoff" she asked.

"Asuka, I'm sorry". Why do I keep saying that? Why can't I ever speak my mind?

"You've kept Misato up for hours.......before she got drunk and passed out!"

"You should be ashamed...."

"I...I...I'm ti.....tired of all of this shi....shit"

"Damn it you little bitch". she smacks me across the face. I still probably have the marks, it's been so long since I checked.

I rubbed the side of my face and came to a decision..... "You can tell Misato I never came home"

with those words I walked out of the only "home" I ever knew....and walked into life.