Slice
A/N: Heyo, peeps! Sorry I was gone so long! Just a little (not really) fic about Rory Flanagan, from your friendly neighborhood Gleek! There just aren't enough fics about Rory… So I thought I would make one!
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, do you really think that I wouldn't already be in Florida with my friends instead of wintering in freezing cold Colorado? Honestly, some people have no common sense. Plus, I don't own any of these songs, ok?! They all belong to Skillet! So DON'T FLAME ME JUST 'CUZ THE FIC HAS TWO FREAKIN' SONGS IN IT! Thank you, that is all.
Rory was walking down the hallway of McKinley High, when he was suddenly slammed into a locker. He slid to the floor as the Jocks walked past, shouting "Watch where you're going, Gleek Freak!" Rory sighed, ignoring his throbbing shoulder.. It's been the same all week. Locker shoves, slushie facials, name calling. For some reason, Rory seemed to be targeted more than all the other Glee kids combined. He just wanted to curl up and cry. But of course, he couldn't show weakness. At least, not where they could see him. Every night, Rory ran home (his American home, anyway,) crying. He didn't understand why they hated him so much? Did he do something wrong? Oh god, did they find out his secret? Not even his mom knew! If it got out to the kids at school that he was gay, well, just look at what Kurt and Blaine go through! Not to mention, he also liked, possibly loved, Sam Evans, star football player, singer, guitar player, and all around amazing, kind, and compassionate person. If that got out, well, he just might die. Literally. (A/N: before I go on, I apologize for the exorbitant amount of commas in this fic. And I would really like it if my iPod would stop playing Christmas songs…)
Rory ran home and slowly climbed the stairs to his room. He was completely exhausted from his long day. Rory sighed, setting his stuff down. He was so tired… Rory sat up and mentally made a list of all the insults he had received that day, some more creative than others. Let's see, Gleek freak, Leprechaun, loser, freak, worthless, stupid, untalented, unimportant, fairy, fag (okay, so that one was true…), and unwanted. Okay, not so bad, only 11 different ones today. That was what, 5 cuts? 6 cuts? He knew it was impossible to make half a cut and still get the punishment, so he decided on 6. 5 for half-eleven, and one big one for liking Sam. He didn't deserve Sam. With these thoughts and the insults playing on repeat in his brain, Rory grabbed his razor out of his shaving bag and started dispensing self-inflicted justice on himself. The crimson rush was a gratifying punishment for being him. When he had made 5 normal sized cuts that would leave normal sized scars, he grabbed some bandages and gauze from the bathroom and wrapped up his arm. Then, he rolled up his sleeves and searched for enough skin to make this cut and not cut through scar tissue. He finally found what he was looking for on the underside of his left arm. Rory smiled and made his largest cut yet. It ran all the way from the inside of his left elbow all the way up to his shoulder blade and was about 1 inch deep. He grimaced a bit before bandaging it up with the gauze/ace bandage, but smiled. This was justice. He deserved this. A knock on the door interrupted his musings. It was Brittany, calling him down for dinner. He quickly but carefully pulled on a light green print tee shirt and his dark emerald hoodie. He also pulled on his favorite slap bracelets, because sometimes sleeves just weren't enough. No sense in worrying anybody. He plastered a fake smile on his face and went down for dinner.
Rory sat at the table, picking at his peas. He just wasn't very hungry for some reason. "Rory, all you all right? You look a little pale, and you're very quiet tonight…" questioned Mrs. Pierce. Rory looked up. "Hmm? Oh. Well, I'm just a little tired and not very hungry, is all." He said with a sheepish smile. "O-okay, then. Why don't you just go up to your room then, Rory? Get a little sleep. It might do you some good." Rory nodded and managed a small, but genuine smile before heading up the stairs.
"Hey! Gleek Freak! I'm talking to you!" Rory tensed a little, but kept his head down. 'Just keep calm, Rory. Keep your head down and walk fast, and you might make it to the door before going dumpster diving…' he thought to himself. But alas, no such luck. He sighed resignedly when a large hand firmly grabbed his shoulder in a vice-like grip. "What do you want Azimo? Come to throw me in a dumpster? Or maybe throw a slushie at me? That seems more your style. Well, come on then. I'm waiting." Rory said tiredly. He just wanted to end this. The hand loosened a bit, as if surprised at Rory's tone, but quickly resumed clamping down on the shoulder it was resting upon. "Well, whadda ya think, fellas? Dumpster diving, or slushie time?" Azimo chortled merrily. There was a resounding chorus of "Dumpster diving!" from all the jocks. "Well, Flanagan? Looks like we're taking out the trash!" Azimo picked Rory up and threw him in the trash with a grunt. Rory lay there, dazed, and only faintly heard the lid being slammed shut. He did, however, hear the lock sliding into place. He just had no energy to do anything about it. Rory resigned himself to a long day of lying in the trash until the janitors came tonight.
Sam hurried through the parking lot, cursing his broken alarm. As he passed the dumpsters, he saw that they were locked. 'Hmmm… that's weird. Usually the dumpsters are open and unlocked. What's in there?' He thought to himself. Sam walked over to the dumpster and saw Rory inside, idly rubbing his wrists. "Rory?! What are you doing in there?!" Sam asked, surprised. "Hm? Oh, hello Sam. I'm just um, checking the dimensions of the interior of this dumpster. Done? Eheheh…" Rory said, looking up and stopping rubbing his wrists. "Oh really? Then why was it locked, from the outside? And why were you rubbing your wrists? Are you hurt? Let me see!" Sam grabbed Rory's wrist, with Rory protesting. His protests were cut off, however, when a hiss of pain escaped at Sam's rough handling of his arm. Sam removed Rory's bracelet and gasped. There were about 10 scars on Rory's right wrist. Come to think of it, Rory usually wore two bracelets… Sam dismissed that thought as quickly as it came. Did somebody hurt Rory? Or did Rory do this himself? "Rory?" Sam questioned. "Something you want to tell me?" Rory shook his head mutely. He couldn't help the slight shudder that ran through him as Sam lightly brushed over his scars, hoping Sam wouldn't see. "Okay. You don't need to talk right now. C'mon, let's go to class."
Later that day in Glee club, the New Directions were chatting amongst themselves. Kurt and Mercedes were discussing a concert they wanted to go to, Finn and Puck were talking about football, Tina and Mike were discussing plans for a date, and Rachel was pestering Mr. Shuster for another solo. When Sam and Rory walked in, they sat down immediately. "Okay. New Directions. Before we get started, Sam wanted to say something to the group. Let's give him some respect and courtesy please!" said Mr. Shue in his usual cheerful manner. Sam walked up to the middle of the room. "Hey, guys. Recently, I discovered something important about one of my friends. I'm not going to name any names, but he knows who he is, and it was really, really bad. He needs to know, though, that he's not alone and that I'm going to help him no matter what." Sam walked over to Brad the Piano Guy and whispered in his ear. Brad nodded and started playing.
You came to me
With scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
Rory stands up and starts singing softly:
I just came to say goodbye
Didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
Sam looked at him surprised, but continued his singing.
But I know it's a lie
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
Wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
they don't know you at all…
Rory walks to the wall by the door and sings
So sick of when they say
It's just a phase you'll be ok
You're fine
When Sam starts singing again Rory manages to slip out unnoticed.
But I know it's a lie
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you need me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything, you need me to be
The last night,
Away from me…
[Bridge]
The night is so long
When everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight… Tonight…
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything, you need me to be
I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night
Away from me
Away from me…
As Sam finished the song, he looked up. Everybody was staring at him, dumbfounded. They could pretty much guess what was wrong, but they dismissed it in favor of staring at Sam. Everybody stared, except for Rory. He was gone! Sam looked panicked. "Has anybody seen Rory?" Everyone shook their heads in unison, but Finn pointed towards the door. "I saw him run out there…" He said. Sam thanked him and ran out of the room, shouting Rory's name.
Rory ran down the hallways, trying to remember where the farthest bathroom from the choir room was. He finally found it and veered into an empty stall. He locked the door and slid to the floor, sobbing. 'Why? Why did idiotic and oh-so-perfect Sam have to sing that song out of any song ever? I mean, I love Skillet, they are great, but really? "The Last Night"? Now everybody knows how much of a freak I am! I could just die… pity I never told Sam how I felt… Wait! If I leave a note, then everything will be explained!" Rory dried his tears and grabbed his notebook and pencil, quickly writing a note to Sam, finally telling him how he felt. He folded it and wrote For Sam, Love Rory on the front. He slipped it into Sam's locker and ran from the school as fast as he could. He walked slowly up to his room, with only a quick detour to the bathroom. Once inside his room, he shut and locked the door. Sinking down on his bed, he looked at the bottle. "Extra-Strength Advil, For relieving headaches only." He read aloud, smirking. 'Well, how perfect! My life is one big headache…' He plugged in his iPod and started playing "Would It Matter" by Skillet. He swallowed all the pills and started singing.
If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anybody care?
If my time was up, I'd wanna know
You were happy I was there
If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anyone lose sleep?
If I wasn't hard and hollow
Then maybe you would miss me
I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I'd like better
I can never forget, so don't remind me of it forever…
What if I just pulled myself together?
Would it matter at all?
What if I just tried not to remember?
Would it matter at all?
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try?
Would it matter at all?
If I wasn't here tomorrow,
Would anybody care?
Still stuck inside this sorrow
I got nothing and goin' nowhere
I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone I'd like better
I can never forget
So don't remind me of it forever
What if I just pulled myself together?
Would it matter at all?
What if I just tried not to remember?
Would it matter at all?
Rory was feeling the pills working now, but he could hear footsteps. He frowned.
I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I'd like better
Can you help me forget
Don't wanna feel like this forever
What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all?
What if I just tried not to remember?
Would it matter at all?
All the chances that have passed me by
What if I just gave it one more try?
If I left tomorrow
Would anybody care?
Stuck inside this sorrow
Going nowhere
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try?
Would it matter at all?
As the song finished, Rory slumped to the floor, taking his final breaths. The door bust open at that exact moment and Sam burst in. Rory smiled. The face of his love would be the last thing he saw in this world. "Rory! NO! you can't leave! I won't let you! I love you too Rory! Stay with me! RORY!" But it was too late. Rory was gone.
Dear Sam,
I am going to die. No, I can't see the future, and no, nobody is going to kill me. Except me. I know that you said that suicide is the coward's way out, and that you were disgusted by anyone who thought that dying was the solution. Well, not all of us are as strong as you, Sam. Believe me, I've tried. I'm not dying because I want to escape my life, and not because I don't want to live anymore, but because I don't deserve to live anymore. I don't deserve to sully someone like you with my filthy existence. I'm leaving because I love you. There. I said it. I love you, Sam Evans, and all I want is for you to be happy. Even if it means that you are without me. Me loving you is precisely the reason why I must die. I must die so that I don't hold everybody back. I must die so that nobody has to have their days ruined by "That Irish freak". I must die… so that you can live. Tell the Glee club for me, Sam. Tell them why I did this.
Forever yours,
Rory Flanagan
Sam walked into the choir room the next day wearing all black and a frown. Santana took one look at him and was a little shocked. "Hey Sam, what's up with the funeral look? This is Glee club! Not a cemetery! What, did somebody die?" She asked jokingly. "Actually, Santana, you're completely right. Somebody did die, right in front of me." That sure shut her up. "Wh-who? Was it somebody we knew?" she asked. "Rory. He committed suicide last night." Santana looked like she was thinking. "Rory… Rory… That's the Irish kid with the good voice, right?" Sam was furious. "HE'S BEEN IN GLEE FOR 6 MONTHS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME?! HOW HEARTLESS ARE YOU?! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS AFRAID OF! HE WAS AFRAID OF EVERYBODY ONLY KNOWING HIM AS 'THE IRISH FREAK'! HE TOLD ME SO! And now he's gone…" Sam yelled, tears streaming down his face. Santana was taken aback. "He wrote a note? Can we see?" Sam glared at her for a moment, but sighed and nodded. "Here. He told me to tell you guys anyway, so…" As the note was passed around, several different reactions occurred. Kurt and Blaine started crying silently. Finn stared straight ahead, clenching his hands into fists. Sugar started sobbing loudly. Artie was repeating "Why?" over and over like a mantra. And Sam himself, well, he was crying in a chair. Mr. Shue walked in, prepared to face a room full of chattering singers, not a bunch of crying teenagers. He also noticed somebody missing. Where was Rory? Mr. Shue turned around. "Hey guys. What's with all the long faces?" Mercedes wordlessly passed him the note. As he read, his eyes lit up with understanding and unshed tears. "Guys, we were going to do folk songs this week, but instead our theme is Remembrance."
R.I.P. Rory Flanagan
Beloved Friend
1995-2011
A/N: So, what do you think? Before you flame me saying how I used songs, I have one thing to say to you. THIS IS GLEE GET OVER YOURSELVES! Also, I have gone through this before. I have cut. I have dealt with feelings towards a friend who was of the same sex as me. I have considered suicide. And I'm not better yet, but I'm trying. So keep your flames to yourselves please, and if you want to flame me, at least log in first! I don't think you guys realize just how serious this is. Flaming somebody just makes it worse.
