Ocean Blue Eyes
Long ago I had been summoned by Okina and so as the dutiful 10 year old that I was back then, I quietly entered a sleeping quarters to find the Okashira's wife sitting up in her futon, her long black hair cascading freely down her back and over her shoulders while a bundle of joy currently wriggled within her arms.
'Come closer Aoshi-kun. Come see the newest member of the Oniwabanshuu.' I did as she asked and found the brightest and most innocent pair of ocean blue eyes gazing widely up at me. Baby gurgles and giggles assaulted the room's space as I continuously stared down at innocent perfection.
'What shall we name her?' I remembered looking oddly at the Okashira's wife as to why she was asking me of all people what to call this little girl. Of course obediently I answered her and the first name popped from my lips: Misao…Makimachi Misao.
'Misao-chan ka? I like it very much Aoshi-kun.' After that without any further explanation, she pat the floorboards beside her and I kneeled before her, my utmost respect being shown to her and with wide eyes and now a very tense body, baby Misao had been placed into my arms. She was so small…and so light when I held her for the first time.
Misao had wriggled once before she placed all her trust into me and fell asleep within my arms. I'd never felt more nervous then how I did that day, my green-grey eyes not once parting from her pale slumbering features. She curled into the warmth of her blanket and then turned her head towards my chest, murmuring gurgles that no one understood before becoming silent once more. Instantly a swell of protectiveness grew within me.
'I'd like to take care of Misao, but only if you and the Okashira allow me to.' The seriousness in my words reflected into my facial features as I darted my eyes to Misao's mother. Not even a hint of surprise was on her face (as though she knew I'd speak such words to her) as she smiled serenely at me and then placed her hand atop my head.
'I was right Aoshi-kun, you are extremely genuine and loving underneath. I'm sure my husband wishes to speak with you in his office in regards to his daughter, so please go on ahead.' I felt slight dread when I placed Misao back into her mother's arms, instantly feeling a gap in my heart begin to build as I walked away from the new mother and her baby. I wanted to be with Misao.
Entering the Okashira's study I found him smoking a pipe at his window and formally bowed before him (even though his back was turned to me) and then headed on over.
'I trust you have seen my daughter?' I remember giving my affirmative answer and telling him of Misao's name. The room went silent, but then he turned and smiled down at me (something very rare to witness) and stated it was an honourable and extremely beautiful name in all of Kyoto. How could such an oblivious baby bring such a look upon my Okashira's face was truly astonishing. I wasn't sure how to deal with that or how it came to pass and instead nodded my head and remained at his side as we stared at the sunset breaking through the stormy clouds.
Years passed and I began to grow along with Misao.
How easy she smiled upon me, not once thinking of the dangers I would surely bring to her as she clung happily to my onmitsu uniform while I walked with her (or carried her) down the streets of Kyoto.
How happily she spoke, jabbering away a mile a minute to make sure I grasped everything that had happened to her in one day…and yet it hadn't even ended as she was telling me just after lunch as we secretly shared some sweets together.
How carefree her laughter was, she never once bothered that I didn't laugh with her and instead remained my usual unemotional self.
How easily she slept, resting amongst the wild flowers growing in the field where I trained daily just near the stone walls at the back of the Aoiya. The brightness of the flowers and the green grass contrasted with her dark clothing, it consisting of what shinobi from the Oniwabanshuu wore on missions.
I never liked the idea that Misao would soon walk the path I was on one day, but I was not able to steer her away from it…nor could I ever do so. She was my Okashira's daughter and therefore it had already been pre planned that this would be Misao's life from hereon in.
When Misao was 5, the Okashira and his wife unfortunately died in a most terrible accident and I at the young age of 15 was given the role as Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu. Okina, my mentor and friend, felt that it was time for new and young blood to lead the Oniwabanshuu and I had been chosen. My Okashira, as Okina stated, was very fond of the way I presented myself and the way I kept personal and business matters away from each other. When I wasn't training with the others I was Misao's 'Aoshi-nii' for as long as she wanted me around, but when I was training, my face became unreadable.
At first Misao never understood what was going on, especially over the deaths of her parents and then when the business matters of the next Okashira came up, it took awhile for the 'Aoshi-nii' to be dropped by her and it was replaced with,
"Aoshi-sama, you keep holding her and she'll never go to sleep." Breaking from my past reverie I glanced over my shoulder at Misao sitting up in the futon, hair unbound and a complete mess while her robe was lightly wrinkled at the way she had been sleeping.
"I thought you were dropping the 'sama'?" I questioned Misao and observed as she pushed the blankets from her and stood on wobbly legs as she headed on over to me. My arm went around her, while the other held the small quiet baby against my chest. It had merely been hours that Misao had given birth to our daughter as I stood near the window, the sunset reflecting through the clouds against the horizon and the cool breeze caressing my face. It was her first day here…and she'd entered the world on one of the most beautiful afternoons in Kyoto.
"Yes well, when one doesn't do as I ask and leave her to sleep, then I might get a little annoyed. What if she cries the entire evening because her father couldn't put her down?"
"I can't put her down." My eyes met Misao's, I observing as hers conveyed slight confusion and then turned my green-grey orbs down to the little girl snuggled in her blanket and bringing in silent breaths against my clothed chest. "Besides Misao, she's already asleep. Shouldn't you be doing that too?"
"I suppose, but I can't sleep when we don't even have a name for her. How silly is it going to sound if we go 'everybody this is Nameless Shinomori'?" I bent slightly, making sure not to disturb the little Shinomori in my arms and planted a kiss on Misao's forehead.
How hard it was for her to not cry in front of me at all the times I ignored her and continuously remained locked away in a temple.
How painful it was for her not to just latch onto me and strangle me senseless for being blind to her for so long.
How difficult it had been for her to go through such a birth to bring our child into the world and yet as I listened to her screams while I paced outside I began to love her more and more at each passing hour.
"There is one I had in mind, but wanted your consent to it first."
"What is it?"
"Misao…Shinomori Misao." She raised her eyebrow at me, wondering if I was playing a joke on her, but in truth, this is the name I wanted even if the child were a boy. Call it selfish, call it anything you want, but I would not settle for any other name then the one from the very woman that had accepted who I once was and who I am now 100 percent.
"Why?"
"You looked upon me with such innocence, such trust that I'd never wanted to protect anything more pure then what had been placed into my arms. I named you that day…and from then on I helped raise you. I want to feel what I felt with you again."
"It can be another name, can't it?"
"No, because Misao is the most honourable and beautiful name in all of Kyoto. Your father said that to me…and I would like it if we could call her Misao, if not…" I slender finger was placed against my lips, those same sparkling orbs I encountered 21 years ago were glistening up at me full of love and life.
"Misao would be great. Now will you put her down and come to bed? I need rest and I'd like for you to be with me."
"Can't Misao-chan come too?" I watched my short wife pout up at me even though she looked extremely tired and wasn't in the mood to argue with me.
"I've never seen you so attached to anything before Aoshi." She muttered while crawling back into the futon. I padded quietly over, Misao-chan gurgling lightly before falling quiet once more as she shifted her head slightly.
"I was attached to you." I stared down at Misao curled in the futon and facing me as I remained sitting up and propped against the wall for support. My right hand instantly caressed Misao's tangled strands of hair as she closed her eyes at my words. "I am attached to you for as long as you'll have me Misao."
"Mm that's good to know. And just for the record, I'm not ever letting you go."
How straightforward she was in her words to me. She never spared a thought about what her words would do to me and instead Misao would make sure I knew she wore her heart on her sleeve. Every instant she could get Misao would make sure I knew she loved me. It was her way after all, probably to make up for the fact I never told her enough of how grateful I was that she picked me in the end. Was there ever a doubt in my mind after I finally paid attention, after I finally placed all the conversations, gifts, servings of tea and the 'friendly' hugs she gave me together as one? No, there was never a doubt I was Misao loved one. And now…now we had our loved one resting quietly within my arms.
With my eyes resting on my wife and then moving to Misao-chan, the small amount of hair on her head was blacker then Misao's and her eyes were a brilliant green in colour. I'd walked into our sleeping quarters to see Misao with tears streaming down her cheeks and yet the brightest of smiles on her lips and sat beside her gazing at mesmerizing emerald or jade coloured eyes. She was so pure that I couldn't believe I helped produce such a perfect being into this Meiji Era.
At that moment I finally realised what it meant to loose oneself as for the first time in a long time I truly smiled (even a tear or two cracked my usual hard outer shell) at Misao and our daughter.
These two Misao's were mine forever as I basked in the aura of the Shinomori family. I'd finally become whole and it only took a pair of ocean blue eyes to do it.
The End
